Democratic Sentinel, Volume 18, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 October 1894 — Page 6

gbeJcnuKraikSciiiiittl •J. W. McEWEN, Publisher. RENSSELAER, - - - INDIANA.

WORK IS HARD TO GET

HOW EMPLOYMENT EVADED ONE WHO SOUGHT IT. Traveled Fifty Thousand Miles Looking for Labor—From the Mississippi to the Pacific and Then to the Atlantic—ln a •‘Side-door” Pullman. Tale of a Traveler. It is a wide country, but a man seeking work may apply for it in every town in the United States between Bangor and Benicia and not find it, says a writer in a Chicago

RAISES THE PIE SIGN.

paper. Of course, employment may be found at once, but the chances are the other way. Herewith is given a specimen case. A railroader reached Chicago four days ago without money enough to pay for a meal. The stranger had been working in one of the railroad yards at East St. Louis until the hard times of ’93 had thrown him out of work, and since that time had been, to use a phrase common among railroad men, “jumping sideways” all over the country. He was educated and intelligent, and had kept his eyes open during his trips in search of, as he termed it, “an office.” He carried a very creditable letter of recommendation from Chesapeake and Ohio officials for a long term of service on the trains and in the yards of that railroad. In the story he told are many points of interest, chief of which is the fact that since he started on his so-far fruitless search for work he has been in every State and Territory in the United States, has compassed a journey of 5u,,000 miles by rail on a capital so slender that it would have given a professional tramp the blues. Here is his story in his own words: “I lost my job in East St. Louis a year ago last June through a little law trouble. I fought the case because it was an endeavor made by a “shark’ lawyer to steal my wages, but in the end 1 lost both the law case and the job. I succeeded in proving to the superintendent the fact that I was right in lighting the case, and he recalled the order for my discha ge, but I found out that my reinstatement meant the laying off of a man who had a family, so I told him to keep the job. I could hustle for one easier than he could for a half-dozen, and 1 thought if I tried I could find a job somewhere. Now I believe j that I overestimated my ability as a hustler, for, while I have had clothes to wear and have staved off starvation, I am still ‘short’ on the job. “I had sunk my stpall capital in getting my experience of 'the law as she is writ,’ and had it not been for a friend 1 would have left the ‘Queen city of Egypt’ broke. The friend lent me $5, however, and 1 started West. “I tried Kansas City, but it was full of railroad men waiting for business to pick up, so I kept on west to Denver. There were no signs of any improvement there, but the boys said: ‘Keep on west; you’ll catch on in the mountains sure.’ So I decided to keep on. I went up to Cheyenne and got there at midnight, put up my last ‘half’ for lodging and breakfast and in the morning hit the superintendent for a job, but was told there were enough idle railroad men in Cheyenne to stock the division if need be. I was just a little blue. It was a toss-up’ which way to go, so 1 struck out for the west coast.” Surprise was expressed at his undertaking such a journey under such conditions. The railroader laughed and said: “It is no trouble to do

IN A NEW ENGLAND HAT FIELD.

that in the west if you belong to anything. As far as traveling is concerned the local lodges of the railroad organizations all have contracts with the companies that, in addition to fixing the rate of pay, provide for the transportation of brothers who may be traveling looking for work. The west is almost perfectly organized, and a man will hardly get into a town before he is ‘flagged’(giving the .halting sign) by some of the boys, and they never let him go hungry. Holst the I’le SiKn. “If they are a little slow and the distance between meals gets too long for comfort the stranger can hoist the ‘pie sign' (distress signal), and if

there is a brother in the crowd it brings him forward. “From Cheyenne I went to Ogden, Utah, where I struck the Central Pacifiic, and over that straight to the Golden Gate. I found from the trainmen I rode with that there was no show for work on any of the divisions on the way, sol kept right along. Sacramento, Oakland and San Francisco were as bad as any of the places I had been in. The railroad men were banging together and hoping for better times, but it was trying business, as most of the men at work, and they were fe#“ enough, were •holding up’ from one to three idle brothers, hoping that in the near future business might revive and there be work enough for all. I saw plainly there was no use staying in any of these places, so I went down to Los Angeles on the Southern Pacific. The conditions there were no better. Railroad business in the West - was completely paralyzed. I couldn’t go any further west, so I started back east over the Southern Pacific, eventually landing in New Orleans after having interviewed every superintendent and trainmaster between the two points on the subject of work. “I came up over the Louisville & Nashville to Cincinnati, and from there made side trips into Kentucky, West Virginia, and Ohio, to points where I thought there might be work, but it was ‘no go,’ and I was getting awfully tired traveling in the way I had for the last three months. “I started out over the Cincinnati, Hamilton & Dayton, intending to go through to Toledo, but at Hamilton, 0., I ran across an old friend, and I stopped off to see him. I told him my story, and he laid off a few days to let me make a stake. I worked two weeks, and with the proceeds got me a cheap suit of clothes and a pair of shoes, but I was broke again when I started for Toledo. “There was no chance for work there, so I went to Detroit, from there to Saginaw, and from the latter place up through Northern Michigan, across ‘the Soo,’ and after a trip across Wisconsin arrived in St Paul. I could find no encouragement’either in St Paul or Minneapolis, and just becau e I did not know which way to go I siar.ed west again over the Northern Pacific. “I tried Seattle, Tacoma, and Portland, Ore., but the search was in vain. The winter had set in, and the unemployed were almost starving

and freezing to death in the big cities. In San Francisco I saw men wearing the insignia of the railroad orders working on the streets. They would have been glad to get away from the coast, but they had families and could not raise the money to move them; neither could they let their dear ones starve. “I tried Los Angeles again, but it was worse than before; so I started out over the Santa Fe to Kansas City. “I steered clear of Chicago, because almost every day I met squads of travelers, who. like myself, were railroad men, and they all said the city was overrun with unemployed men. “I got to Kansas City in January and the people of that good city were on a continual hustle to keep their own unemployed from starving. I stayed one day with a friend and the next started over the Kansas City, Memphis and Birmingham for Birmingham, Ala., determined to try the Eastern South. I did try it. I went over Alabama, Florida, and Georgia like a deputy marshal with a search warrant, and at last in March struck what looked like a regular job in the yards of the Georgia) Southern and Florida Bail way at' Macon, Ga. They were handling an immense traffic in early vegetables. The job lasted twenty-three days; then came the worst freeze that country had ever experienced at that §eason of the year, and the vegetable trade was nil—likewise my job. “I squared up, got another suit of clothes, and started again. I went to Atlanta, and from there to Norfolk, Va., across North and South Carolina. From Norfolk to Newport News, and from there to Washington by way of Richmond. From Washington I went to Baltimore, Philadelphia, New York, and Boston, staying a few days in each place, but not long enough to affiliate with any of the ‘commonweal’ armies that were tramping over that country then. In New England Hay Fields. “From Boston I went all over the New England States, but with the single exception of a week in a hay field near Boston, couldn’t find a thing to da “The railroad men in the Eastern States are a ‘cold’ lot, mostly natives who have never’ been outside the State they were born in, and who look on a traveling railroad man as they do a common tramp. I nearly starved out there, and you can -tell all inquirers I’ll neter go East again. “The night I started from Boston there were two ‘Brotherhood’ engineers and ad O. R. C. man (Order Railway Conductors), who had been trying all day to get out over the ‘Fitchburg’ railway. We all wanted to come West, and we finally got out,

but it was in a side-door Pullman—a box car. “We got through to Rotterdam junction, New York, and from there over the New York Central to Buffalo, where I left them and went through Western Pennsylvania to Pittsburg, but that city was no

good, so I came on here over the Panhandle. “I started a year ago last June, and since then have been in every State and Territory of Uncle Sam’s domain. I have ridden over somewhere near 200 railroads, have made applications for work in the offices of over 600 superintendents and trainmasters, and if I could have traveled in one direction all the time I would now have been fairly started on my third lap around the globe. I have tried to keep clean and so far I haven’t starved, though I shudder to think of the many meals I have ‘run by,’ and I have not slept in a bed for over two months now; haven't had my clothes off only when I could strike a river where I could take a bath. In my riding part of it has been on passes, part on ‘card’ or letters, and in a few instances, through the East, a box car. ”

Slowly the public is getting some intelligible ideas from the census compilation of four years ago. The clerks have at last figured out that there were then just 7,992.973 “home families” in the United States, which means probably that there were that many groups of persons living together. Of these almost five-eighths—

NEGOTIATIONS FOR CLOTHES.

in exact figures, 4,767,179 —were on farms and the remainder in cities. It thus appears that the country and the city population grouped in families is as five to three. Another statement is that the number of persons in a family is on an average less than five, so that the persons forming parts of the families are only about two-thirds of the total population. The other third, or about 20,000,000 persons, seem to be, therefore. living independently of family ties. This is a rather curious showing. One-third of the entire population consists, presumably, of boarders, or of inmates of charitable and correctional institutions. As our paupers and criminals are not more numerous than those of other countries, the natural inference is that the habit of living in boarding-houses or hotels is far more prevalent than it is anywhere else. Another thing that is surprising in these census figures of ours is. that we have fewer houses in proportion to papulation than the French have, for instance. In the United States the average is about five and a half persons to a house, while in France it is only tour and three quarters, and jet the latter country is far more densely populated than even our oldest settled States along the North Atlantic coast. The tendency is, however, toward fewer inhabitants to a house in this country. The decrease has been exceedingly slow buts it has been fairly steady. In 1850 we had nearlj’ six persons to a house, so that there has been a reduction of about half a person since then. On the principle of the fewer persons under the same roof the higher the grade of civilization, we are justified in congratulating ourselves on this fact.

Great distress is prevalent among the laboring classes of Spain. Many hundreds of unemployed workingmen are walking the streets of Madrid, Cadiz and other cities in the vain search for work. One day recently 4,000 men went in a body to the government office in Madrid asking for relief in the shape of work for themselves and families. The government was able to do but little for them. Brigandage has greatly increased, and its spread is attributed to the distress among the rural population.

The jewelry found recently in an excavation near one of the pyramids of old Memphis, Egypt,' exhibits about as much skill in working gold and precious stones as now exists? although the articles found were made 4,c00 years aga The figures cut in amethyst and cornelian are described as exquisite and anatomically correct

THE SIDE-DOOR PULLMAN.

Curious Census Lessons.

Hard. Times in Spain..

Skillful Jewelers.

MURDERER CASEY’S DOVE.

A Snow-White Bird That Had an Affection for Hud Men. “I can recall a strange incident that has never found its way into print,” said a member of the New York congressional delegation. “It happened in Long Island, in the Queens County Jail, and, to say the least, is tinged with strangeness. Patrick Casey, a Long Island City policeman, was an inmate of the jail, under the sentenced death for the deliberate murder of Sergt. Cumisky. The present, representative in Congress from the First Congressional District, New York James W. Covert, was Casey’s counsel, and succeeded in having the sentence commuted to imprisonment for life. Un the day Casey was sentenced to death a pure-white dove flew in the courtroom window and alighted on his shoulder. “The dove refused to be moved, accompanied Casey back to his cell, and became his constant companion. At the same time Charles Rugg, the notorious negro murderer, was also an inmate of the jail, awaiting trial for the murder of Mrs. Lydia Maybee and her daughter. Just previous to the day set for his trial Rugg escaped from the jail, but two days later was captured and returned to the jail. The day of his capture was the day set for Casey’s removal to Sing Sing to serve out his life sentence. As he was being taken from the jail and while in the sheriff’s office being prepared for his journey Rugg was led in by his captors. All this time the dove had been perched on Casey’s shoulder, but as soon as Bugg was led in the dove flew from Casey’s shoulder over to Rugg’s, alighting on his shoulder, cooing as if it had found a longlost friend. “All efforts on the part of Casey to call it back again were in vain, and as Rugg was led back to the cell from which he escaped the dove went with him. It remained with him up to the morning of the execution. On that morning, as Rugg marched up to the scaffold, the dove was perched • n his shoulder and remained there until the black cap was drawn over his face. As soon as that was done the dove flew out of one of the jail windows, and was never seen around the jail again.”

RARE RELIC FOUND.

Pipe of Onyx Once Smoked by a Cave Dweller In Utah. This pipe was found in San Juan County, Utah, during recent explorations of the caves and cliff houses of Utah and Arizona. It was incased in a neatly tanned beaver skin, which served as a pouch. This also contained some of the original smoking material, which consists of the inner bark of the red willow and leaves of the kinikinick plant, both of which grow in great abundance in the canyons of southern Utah. The bowl is egg-shaped, being inches in diameter and 2J inches long, is composed of Mexican onyx, and highly polished. The cavity of the bowl is lined with a black mineral cement and contains the ashes of the last puff the smoker enjoyed. The stem is Jof an inch in diameter and 1| inches in length, and is composed of jet highly polished and cemented to the bowl with pinon gum. The pipe was excavated from a depth of four feet beside the head of a remarkably well-preserved male mummy. The pipe was undoubtedly his property during life. How it was used is a mystery, as the lips of the smoker and the hot ashes in the bowl would come into close contact, and his mouth would seemingly be burned. It is evident that the pipe had to be held in an upright position while being used. The Navajo Indians, who once occupied the country where this pipe was found, are unable to give any information concerning it, and know nothing of its

CAVE DWELLER’S PIPE AND POUCH.

history or origin. This remarkable specimen is now on exhibition in the archeological collection in the State ■University of Utah.

EMPRESS OF JAPAN.

An Interesting Little Perßonage the Ou.’y Wife o’ the Mikado. An Interesting little personage is the Empress of Japan, who is the only wife of the Mikado, though many imagine he hasadozenor more.

The Empress is 41 years of age, one year younger than her husband. She is not so tall as American women, is slender and very straight. For the last sixteen years she has worn European dress. She is very fair, with rosy cheeks, large eyes, and a finely shaped

EMPRESS OF JAPAN.

mouth. Even without her imperial rank she would be the universally acknowledged belle of Japan. She is immensely interested in the education of the gentler sex and in charitable works of all kinds. She, is a fine scholar of both polite literature and music, and plays the piano well. Her poems have been set to music and used as imperial songs. She is the founder of the Red Cross Society in Japan, frequently visits the hospitals, and gives to each patient as much consolation and care as if she were a simple white-capped nurse of the Red Cross.

Snail Eating.

We shall never, in all likelihood, grow to share the French taste for edible snail, though the big escargot is common enough in many parts of England, where tradition says they were introduced by the Romans, and still live on round the sites of their villas, lhe escargot is really at its best when taken in the vineyards at the end of March and the beginning of April. They live on the shoots of the vines, and during the winter bury themselves in the ground, during which time, like the souls hung up to air In hades, they are purged of

all gross humors before they return to enjoy themselves in the Elysian fields in spring. Cooking the snails is not an easy matter. They are drawn from the shell, which is then carefully scrubbed and washed. Their heads are cut off, and they are well soaked in salt and water, then returned to the shell, which is stopped with parsley batter and laid to simmer in a hot dish over the fire. An enthusiast sent the writer some dozens, taken at the right season, from his vineyard in Burgundy, with a few bottles of red and white wine (Corton) made from the juice of the grapes from the vines on which they hsd fed, in order, as he said, that “the snails when eaten might find themselves en pays de connaissance.” The combination was excellent, and, though there may be two opinions about the flavor of the escargot, there is no doubt that both in taste and substance it is an edible unlike any other known. The Wiltshire people, especially the population of Swindon, eat the large garden snails as a common dainty.—The Spectator.

NOW SHE WEARS SOCKS.

The Latest Fad in France—Long Stockings Given Away. The latest danger which woman’s relentless foe threatens her is the sock. In Paris, according to a high fashioned authority who has recently

SOCKS FOR LITTLE ONES.

returned from there, the long stocking is doomed. Every one wears socks. Boys and girls in short trousers and skirts display a waste of pink flesh between the top of the sock and the bottom of their garments. There is. of course, not this same display in the case of the grown-up wearers of the sock, but there are sufficient other disadvantages to make up for this. The agonies of the woman who is wearing these things for the first time are untold. If, in a moment of absorption in other things she forgets the fact that she has discarded stockings, she is promptly recalled to a sense of her loss by the keen discomfort of her feelings. She cannot, for an instant, remember what is the

THE PROPER THING.

matter with her and the sickening conviction that her garter has slipped is the first explanation that occurs to her. Then she remembers and her horror passes, but the discomfort remains. Of course, socks are chilly. Of course, they make the wearer keenly uncomfortable. She dreads a windy day as she would a deluge. A step to a carriage or from a train assumes a proportion which horrifies her. But she has the gratifying consciousness that she is wearing what fashion demands, and that is sufficient to sustain most women in almost any emergency.

Startling Visitor.

A case of balflightning has been observed in the Oderberg postoffice, Prussia. During a violent thunderstorm a telegraph post about 1,600 yards from the office was struck by lightning, and at this moment three clerks round a table in the office saw. a few inches above the table, a ball of tire as large as a man’s fist, of blinding brilliance, which immediately exploded with a loud crack, but did no damage. One observer said that the ball descended from the ceiling and rebounded from the table.

The value of the timber annually destroyed by fire on this continent is estimated at from $20,000,000 to $30,000,000. In the alchemy of nature nothing can be lost, and, in distant epochs or eons, this may be recovered; but practically it wipes out that amount of wealth from the world with no compensation. Cut down and worked into the thousand utilities lor man’s comfort and convenience, or to keep him warm, cook his food and run his machinery, its original value, by means of his skill, is returned to him fourfold; but to be burned up in the heat of summer, with nothing to show but a heap of ashes, and to carry with it houses, farms, implements, crops and even the very soil, which it renders unproductive, is, humanely speaking, an absolute loss. Were it not destroyed it would shelter, or warm thousands of human beings, and administer in scores of ways to their varied wants. In consequence of this destruction, sooner or later they must give more of their labor to securing the shelter, warmth, fuel and the like which these abolished forests would have furnished them. Apart, therefore, from the indirect loss caused by alternate flood and drought, which the loss of timber aggravates there is a direct and remediless wiping out of so much natural wealth in a highly available form. Europe has so learned the lesson of the value of timber that Germany at least expends a large sum annually in preserving its forests by strict watching, scientific culture and careful cutting. They have discovered that the people cannot afford the loss of valuable timber and that the expense of preserving it is a very small percentage of the gain. Harriet Beecher Stowe shohld not be held personally responsible for the numerous “Uncle Tom" companies now devastating the country.

THE SCIENCE OF CURVES.

Which AU Pitchers Most Master to Be ot L T »e to Their Teams. It is pretty generally admitted that the pitcher is the most important player on the diamond, says the New

York World. To be a good pitcher requires net only perfect control of the ball in all methods of itsstraight delivery, but the ability to toss it in puzzling curves which lead to so many strikeouts. \ Arthur Cummings, Jof the old Star team of Brooklyn, was the

THE OUTCURVE.

first ball player to make practical use of the curves. He experimented and practiced for a long time before he could exp ain the apparent anomaly of a ball thrown from the hand changing its direction horizontally during the course of its fight. Scientists have found many theories trying to explain why this is so. The one generally accepted as correct is simple. If one side of a ball can be made to pass through the air with greater rapidity than the ouher side there is greater friction produced by the atmosphere on the side moving most rapidly. This retarding effect drags the ball to one side and produces the so-called curve. To curve a ball, therefore, it is only necessary to make one side travel faster than the other. This is accomplished by twisting the hand sharply at the moment of delivery, allowing the ball to roll off the fingers instead of being released from all points at the same moment. To produce the in-curve grasp the ball firmly between the thumb and first two fingers, the remaining fin-

gers being doubled ini the band. Throw the ball at a height equal to the shoulder. At the instant of releasit from the hand twist the 11 nge r s sharply toward the body, allowing the ball to roll off their ends. The firm hold on the ball in throwing this “shoot” permits both greater speed and greater ac-

curacy than in almost any other delivery. For the out-curve secure the ball in the hand by pressing it firmly between the fingers and base of the thumb. In delivering the ball to the batsman throw the arm forward midway between the shoulder and waist, the palm of the hand up. At the moment of releasing the ball turn or twist the hand quickly to the left, allowing the ball to roll off the side of the first finger. Although this is the easiest of all curves to pitch, It is the most difficult to control. Only practice will make perfect in this. As great speed as possible should be used, for a swift ball changing direction only a few feet from the batsman is much more difficult to hit than cne traveling slowly and curving half a dozen yards from the home plate. For an up-shoot the ball is grasped In the same manner as for the in-curve. In throwing, however, the hand is brought down palm

POSITION FOR OUT-CURVE.

forward, perpendicularly in front ot the body, the ball rolling off the end of the fingers as the hand is twisted suddenly downward. Very few but professional players every master the drop curve. Almost all amateurs throw instead the “outdrop,” which, as its name indicates, is a curve half way between the out and the drop. This is not at all difficult to pitch. The ball is grasped

POSITION FOR IN-CURVE.

as for the out-curve, but in throwing the hand passes diagonally across the body from a little above the right shoulder to about the height of the belt on the left side. The ball is released when directly in front of the home plate.

New Marine Device.

In heavy weather a steam tug will sometimes lose its tow, a sudden strain on the hawser breaking the same, and the sea being too rough to make it practicable to get a new line to the liberated craft. In order to lessen that danger several American tow boats have adopted a device called the Shaw & Spiegel towing machine. Its essential feature is an elastic steam cushion. The hawser is made fast to a drum, which unwinds a little when the strain abruptly increases, but this operation applies more steam to the drum, which then meets the strain and stops revolving. If the, pull lessens the drum automatically takes up the slack.

Aquatic Spiders.

The “raft spider,” found in Terra del Kuego, is a most extraordinary insect. It derives its name from the fact that it constructs a raft of matted leaves and pieces of wood, which it uses to pursue its prey on the water. Bast spiders travel in fours. They make their oars out of twigs and generally row a thirty-two stroke, although they have been known at times to increase the speed to thirtysix.

The Busy Bee.

The bee works harder than most people would believe. There are about sixty flower tubes in every head of clover, and only a tiny morsel of honey in each. In older toget enough sugar for a load, the bee must visit about 6,000 different flowers, and each bee must make, on an average, twenty trips a day.

He Made a Rainbow.

Prof. Tyndall is said to have been the first man to ever attempt to pioduce an artificial rainbow—this in 1883.

HUMOR OF THE WEEK

STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Many Odd, Curious, and Laughable of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own —A Budget of Fun. _ * Sprinkles of Sp'c*. A Mild Rebuke. —He “How many conquests have you made this summer?” She—“l never talk shop." —Harper’s Bazar. “Don’t you think Bin kies has a very breezy manner?” “If you refer to the delight he takes in airing his opinions, I do.”—Washington Star. “That organ-grinder left out a portion of thetune.” “That’s all right We’re even. The dime I gave him had a hole in it”—Washington Star. Sunday-school Teacher—What is charity? Boy—lt’s a feeling folks used to have before tramps got so thick.—Good News. “I was not aware that you knew him,” said Tom Snack to an Irish friend the other day. “Knew him!” he exclaimed. “I knew him when his father was a boy!”—Tid-Bits. Engrossed—“l wonder if it is true that the Browns are keeping two servants instead of one.” “I guess so. I don’t see Mrs. Brown go out any more.”—Truth. At a Prize-shooting.—Rifleman (after repeated misses) “Donner wetter! *if those rascally fellows haven’t gone and stuck up the target in the wrong place again.”—Unsere Gesellschaft When we saw the good man standing with the twins in his arms and singing “Let Cares Like a Wild Deluge Come” we knew the great religious convention was a spiritual success.—Plain Dealer. Wife—l must go to the doctor; I fear I’ve got dropsy. I weigh 250 pounds. Husband—Where were you weighed? Wife—On your coal scales. Husband—Then, don’t worry; your weight is normal.—Truth. In the White Mountains: “By Jove, what a superb view there is from here!” said Wilkins. “Yes,” said Dawkins. “Tell me one of your jokes now, will you? I fancy I could see it up here.”—Harper’s Bazar. Enfant Terrible—Proud Father (to friend) —“This is my .voungest boy. Frank, this is Mr. Jackson!” Frank (brightly)—“ls that the man who mamma said yesterday had more money than brains?”—Truth. Mrs. Smythe—“There is one thing about the outlook I don’t like.” Mrs. Jenkyns—“Whatis it?” Mrs. Smythe —“The United States Senate may be abolished before we become eligible to membership.”—Brooklyn Life. Binaway—And young Blower, the fellow who was always boasting that he would yet do something to arouse the country; what ever became of him? Stadehome Manufacturing alarm clocks the last we heard.— Buffalo Courier.

THE INCURVE.

In the Adiro'ndacks: “If you should lose your way in these woods, Jack, what would you do?” “Walk straight ahead,” said Jack. “The world is rounded, and I’d be sure to get back home that way sooner or later.”—Harper’s Young People. “J ames, have you poured the American champagne into the imported bottles?” “Ez shure ez me name is Moike, mum.” “Well, you can put the cobwebs on the bottles new, and then practice your English accent for the rest of the afternoon.”—Truth. “Youdon’t seem to think that was a very good story I just told you,” he said in a disappointed tone. “Oh, yes, indeed I do,” replied the Boston girl, reassuringly. “But I was just trying to think when that was probably translated from the Greek.”— Detroit Free Press.

“Jennie,” said Mr. Younghusband, “each of these clothes-bags has got a hole in the bottom of it.” “What clothes-bags? We haven’t any clothes-bags.” “Why, what's this I’ve been putting my collars and cuffs in allthisweek?” “Why, George! That’s the sleeve to my ball-dress!”—Har-per’s Bazar. “The sins of the father,” etc.: Tommy (studying his lesson)—“l say, pa, where does the Merrimac rise, and into what sea does it empty?” Pa—“l don’t know, my son.” Tommy—“ You don’t know? And to-mor-row the teacher will lick me on account of your ignorance.”—Harlem Life.

Mr. Meeker—lt grieves me sorely, my son, to learn that you tell untruths. Take Washington, for example. He never found it necessary to lie. Junior Meeker—l know it, father, but in his day there wasn’t anything to lie about. He never tried to trade an air-gun for a bicycle.—Boston Courier. Made it manifest: “Yes, ” said the eminent clergyman. “I nearly left the pulpit once to embark in a mercantile business, but the Lord wished me to continue his work.” “How did you know He did?” “My congregation offered me SB,OOO a year—and that was $2,000 more than I was offered in business.”—Brooklyn Life. In all policies of life insurancethese, among a host of other questions, occur: “Age of father, if living? Age of mother, if living?” A man in the country filled up his father’s age, “if living,” 112 years, and his mother’s 102. The agent was amazed at this, and fancied he had secured an excellent customer, ’cut feeling somewhat dubious, he remarked that the applicant came of a very long-lived family. “Qh, you see, sir,” replied he, “my parents died many years ago, but ‘if livipg’ would be aged as there put down.”—TidBits.

In Paris elephant skins are tanned. The process is the ordinary one except that a very powerful extract of tannin is used. When the giant skin is taken frotp the vat it is nearly an inch and three-quarters thick. The tanned skin of the elephant, like that of the alligator, is used in the making of various fancy articles, and brings a high price, a small elephantleather valise costing S3OO to S4OO, and cigar. cases and card casesnot less than S6O to SBO. The best way to manage a quarrel is to stop quarreling

Not Good for Kid Gloves.