Democratic Sentinel, Volume 18, Number 36, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 September 1894 — Page 6

Bhfj9cniocrolicgfiitincl JT. W. McEWEJf, Publisher. RENSSELAER, - - - INDIANA

HAD A TRAGIC ENDING

ATTEMPT OF NAPOLEON TO ERECT AN EMPIRE. The United States and Mexico's Indian President Baffled His Scheme —Execution of Maximilian and Gens. Miramon and Mejia—Carlotta Now a Maniac. End of an Empire. Strange are the ways of fate. We reach for the rose and grasp a thorn;

we exchange unwittingly the substance for the shadow. Had Maximilian, Archduke of Austria, never relinquished his rights to the Hapsburg thron e—never crossed the seas to his new empire of »Mexico— he would

EMPEROR MAXIMILIAN

have escaped the tragic end that befell him on the plains of Queretaro, would stand to-day next in succession to the proud Austrian Empire, and his wife, the beautiful hut unfortunate Carlotta. would not now he spending her days hopelessly Insane in the royal castle of Bouchnout, near Brussels. Brightly shone that day In 1864 when Maximilian and Carlotta, after paying farewell visits to the French, Belgian and English courts and after receiving the Papel benediction, left their beautiful palace of Miramar on the blue Adriatic and sailed for the

EXECUTION OF MAXIMILIAN AND GENS. MIRAMAR AND MEJIA.

ancient empire of the Montezumas. Three years later Mexico had flung them from lier—the one demented, the other dead—one to spend her days endle-sly raving over past splendors, the ashes of the other to be borne to the imperial vault of Vienna, there to mingle with the remains of a long line of ancestors. Founding an Em;>iro in Mexico. It was the project of the third Napoleon of France to found an empire in Mexico that would be feudatory to France and the occasion came when Juarez, the President of Mexico, and a full-blooded Indian, repudiated the debt which that country owed to France, England and Spain. The representatives of these three countries drew up an agreement by which naval and military forces were to be sent to Mexico to seize the ports of entry on the Gulf coast and apply the revenue to the payment of the foreign debts of Mexico. No territory was to be seized nor was Mexico to be disturbed in her form of government. In 1801 the allied forces arrived in* Vera Cruz and the following year a convention was held between the representatives of the invading European powers and Mexico. Then the designs of France were laid bare, and England and Spain promptly withdrew from the enterprise. War then raged between the French forces and those of Juarez and the latter was forced to retire to the northern provinces. Napoleon 111. had well selected his time. The United States was then in the throes of a mighty rebellion, unable to extend any aid except moral to Mexico, and that moral aid had at the time little influence. Availing himself of his opportunity, Napoleon offered the throne of Mexico to Maximilian, grand-duke of Austria and brother of the present reigning sovereign of Austria-Hungary. The latter asked that the people of Mexico express themselves on the subject, and through the efficacy of French bayonets a false vote was secured and Maximilian accepted. April 10, 1864, he was crowned at his

HILL OF THE BELLS. [Present appearance of the spot where Maximilian perished.]

palace of Miramar, and, after paying farewell visits to several European courts, and receiving the blessing of the pope, he and his wife, Carlotta, set sail for Mexico May 20. “Like two children delighted with a new toy,” writes John Heard Jr., in current Scribner’s, “Maximilian and Carlotta laid down the rules of etiquette for their household; created new orders; invented designs for decorations and medals; chose the uniforms for the imperial bodyguard, and seriously pondered all the trivial imitation laces and bow-knots of a Louis XIV. court across the water.” Radiy Fitted to Kale. Maximilian was illy equipped as a ruler. “A dreamer, -a poet, his mind filled with the traditions of the most

form-ridden court in Europe, accustomed to deal only with thoroughly precedented and documented diffiMaximilian was perhaps the worst practical ruler that could hare been selected

tor Mexico. He was,oot only unable

to see things clearly himself, tut equally incapable of surroundinghimself with clear-sighted advisers. The country needed a hard, shrewd, practical soldier-ruler; a mao of simple tastes and close economy. Maximilian was a traditional prince; notwitstaading the emptiness of his coffers, he surrounded himselr with chamberlains, marshals of the court, equerries, etc., and with such titles and the corresponding emoluments he quenched the men whose lights and work he most needed.” Meantime while Maximilian, supported by French bayonets, was curiously looking over his new domain, “President Juarez in the mountain wilderness of Chihuahua, surrounded by a small band of penniless followers, listened with Indian stoicism to the echo of the noise in the capital. His coffers were empty, his cabinet had vanished, his army was melting away, and the civilized world scoffed at his presumption. His only companion was Lerdo de Tejada, his faithful secretary of state, and strong in the knowledge of their right, these two silent watchers waited with dogged patience for the dawn of their day, the day of independence, the day that was to break upon the land three years later.” Amerlcun Interference. With the endiug of the civil war in the United States a new complexion was given to affairs in Mexico. The United States Government had persistently refused to recognize Maximilian and had intimated time and again to Napoleon that it would be desirable to name a time for the withdrawal of the French troops. While we were engaged in War among ourselves Napoleon paid little attention to our representations, but when the civil war ended and when besides our State Department insinuated the probability of an armed interference Napoleon was all attention, and from the autumn of 1866 to February, 1867, the Fron'h troops evacuated Mexico.

While the French and American Governments were engaged in a diplomatic war over the withdrawal of the French troops Carlotta offered to go to Europe and plead the cause of Maximilian before Napoleon and the Pope. But her efforts were unavailing. Napoleon turned a deaf ear to her entreaty that the French troops he suffered to remain until Maximilian was firmly established, and her reception at the Vatican was hardly less cordial. During the Papal interview her reason suddenly left her, and she has since been an imbecile in the royal palace- of Bouchnout, Belgium, over which kingdom her brother, Leopold 11., reigns. Death of Maximilian. The withdrawal of the French troops inspired the followers of J aurej

with renewed hope, and they speedily regained possession of all Mexico with the exception of a few cities. Maximilian headed an army and threw himself into Queretaro, which was soon besieged by the Jaurists. The place surrendered to Gen. Escobedo, and Maximilian and his generals, Miramon, Mejia and Mendez, were taken prisoners. Mendez was promptly shot, and a military trial was given the others. They were found guilty and sentenced to death. June 19, 1867, on the Cerro de las Campas—Hill of the Hells—the three prisoners were placed side by side in front of a tiring squad of Indian soldiers. Maximilian was assigned to the center, between Mejia and Miramon, but he declined the po§t of honor and stood at the extreme left of the group. A single volley burst over the plain, the three men fell in death and with them fell the empire which Napoleon attempted to erect in Mexico. Six months later the Novara, the same vessel that brought Maximilian and Carlotta to Mexico, bore away his remains to the imperial vault iq Vienna.

Strenuous efforts have been made in Congress by members from the Dakota region to get an immense appropriation to aid in eradicating the Russian thistle. Blood curdling yarns have been told of the frightful damage it is doing all over the Northwest, and from the hair-lifting narratives of the Dakota Congressmen, the average citizen might easily assume that the Russian thistle is infinitely multitudinous, and dread it accordingly. Perhaps, however, we may he able to bury our conviction that it is, under the hope that it is not, if we take note of what Mr. J. S. Wilson, of Badger, South Dakota, says on the subject. Mr. Wilson, writing to an Eastern journal, said: “I have had eight years’ experience with the Russian thistle, and ean say that on my farm it has not caused as much damage as the common bull thistle, also a native of this region. With due respect for the opinion ol legislators who are endeavoring to secure additional aid in suppressing this pest, I think that appropriations for that purpose are entirely un necessary.”

PRESIDENT JUAREZ.

THE PALACE OF MIRAMAR.

The Russian Thistle.

PROMINENT LABOR LEADERS.

HOW THE PARTY DEGENERATED.

What Lincoln Said When lie Was Thought Of for the Presidency. W. W. Danenhower, the father of Lieut. Danenhower, of arctic fame, who died the other day, up to the day of his death preserved in a little glass-covered frame a brief note written to him by Lincoln on the day of his first inauguration, March 4, 1861. Danenhower, who was a close friend of Lincoln, had called to see him that morning, and admittance had been refused him. The President, hearing of it. in spite of his many cares, took time to pen a note of apology, telling his friend not to think he was “putting on airs” because he was “in the White House,” and asking him to call again and he would see that he was admitted. Danenhower, according to the Philadelphia Record, was the first to announce to Lincoln the decision of the National Convention Committee of Conference to recommend Lincbln to the National Convention. Lincoln’s look of surprise, he said, was genuine. He laughed a deep inward ripple, and, dropping his hands and removing his legs from a table before which he was seated, he arose and paced the room, saying: “Why, Danenhower, this shows how political parties are degenerating. You and I can remember when we thought no one was (it for the Presidency but Harry Clay. Now you are seriously considering me for the position. It is absurd. ”

FAIR LILLIAN'S BIRTHPLACE.

Cottage la Which the (Jucen of Comic Opera First Saw (he Light. Born to Mr. anil Mrs. Charles E. Leonard. at. their home on Fourth avonne, Dec. 4. 18(11. a bright baby girl, weighing 0% pounds. This, the first press notice the acknowledged queen of comic opera, Lillian Russell, ever received, appeared on Dec. 7, 1861, and was penned by her own father, the editor of the Clinton (Iowa) Weekly Herald. The house in which the interesting event occurred was situated in the rear of the office building of H. B. Horton, located on Fourth avenue, between First and Second streets, and faced east on the alley running north and south between Third and Fourth avenues. At that time this house was situated almost in the center of the business district, across the street from the lowa Central Hotel, then the largest hotel in lowa, and one of the finest west of Chicago. A St. Louis Post-Dispatch correspondent in Clinton has photographed the house, which, it willbeseen, was exceedingly primitive. The main portion was “squatty,” scarcely a story and a half in height, and covered a ground space of 18x25 feet. The front door opened directly into the room used as a parlor. There were three other rooms on the ground floor, occupied as sitting-roonl, bedroom and kitchen and dining-room combined. The main portion of the house has been moved and now constitutes an addition to the building occupied by a bottling company: and the old walls, which were the first to

LILLIAN RUSSELL'S BIRTHPLACE.

hear the voic6 of the now great singer, resound with the hissing noises of machines used in bottliDg the effervescent pop. Shortly after Lillian’s birth the Leonard family removed from their abode on the alley to 408 Seventh avenue, immediately in the rear of the Baptist Church, and at that time one of the finest residences in the town. Here the remainder of their days in Clinton were spenh

The Cash Customer.

Go to a grocery or dry goods or notion store anywhere in England to make some purchases and inquire the price. You will receive a polite answer, and then, if you happen to have credit at the particular store and you a-k to have the article you covet charged, you will be politely told that the article, whatever it is, whether a half-pound of sugar or tea, will be tuppence' or thrippence more for “booking.” The first named price is the cash price, since the presumption always obtains that when prices are asked the transaction is to be a cash transaction. And what is true in England is for the most part true on the continent of Europe. If books must he kept, merchants and shop-

keepers entertain a pet theory that the people for whom the books are kept should be made to pay the cost of the same. Merchants of the the city can tell of repeatedly receiving bills from German houses and always finding even the cost of postage on the bill charged in the account. Throughout Europe the eminently equitable plan obtains of encourag. ing a cash business by giving the cash customer an advantage over the one who pays his hills but once in a month or once in six months, or sometimes not at all. Here in free America in retail establishments both cash customers and debt customers are placed on nearly the same footing, only that the cash customer pays a trifle more for his necessities than he ought to in order to make up the losses arising from bad accounts.— Kansas City Grocer.

GIVE THE BOYS A CHANCE.

Bome of the Reasons Why They Leave the Farms. Briefly, It is too much “The boy’s colt is thi father’s horse,” says a writer in the Southern Mercury. I have had a talk with a number of young men who left the farm last spring after the crops were tended. One says, “I fended forty acres of corn, besides other crops; last winter I chopped twenty cords of wood to sell besides all we used and enough for summer use. 1 thought that ought to fetch suit of clothes, but it didn’t, so I left home.” To another, who had just left home, I asked how he was getting along. He said, “Not very well. 1’ \ e worked two weeks and been laid off two weeks, and the latter I had to pay my board, and it don’t pay working in town. The farm suits me the best, and tomorrow I’ll strike out and get a job. You know it’s no use to expect anything of the old man, although I'd rather be home than anywhere else.” The boys do not get the show they deserve. An old Kentuckian did little else than hunt, and if there was game within-miles of him he would have it, but his success was due to one of the most ordinary-looking purps I ever saw. I remarked one day that it was strange such a mongrel as his was such a good hunter. Said he, “Do you know, ueighbor, what makes that air dorg so good? It's because he always gets his share of the game.” I came to the conclusion that that was the whole secret. Farmers in general are a unique kind ol’ men, and have more legitimate ways of making money than any class of men I know. If crops are good, prices are low; if on the other hand, crops are poor, are prices not correspondingly high, and if should happen to cut both ways, viz., good crops and high prices, then it is a grand chance to pay off that little mortgage or buy a lot of new machinery, which, as prudent men, they hate to run in debt for, or the good woman sees a chance to get that little addition to the home, or some new furniture, which she has been promised. The boy generally gets left, and it is no wonder he feels disgusted. No wonder he feels Like tbe old Qunen’.s arm That Granther Young Brought back from Concord busted. Give your hoys a show. Say to them, “Here are two or three acres of land; put it into whatever you have a mind to.” Assist them to cultivate, harvest and market it, and whatever they raise on it, give to them. Do not go on the principle of “The hoy’s colt is father’s horse.” The seed may be yours, but let the crop be the boys’.

Thought He Knew Sugar.

A rather good joke is going the rounds in St. John, at the expense of the representative of a sugar rerefinery. Calling on a merchant be found the latter examining a sample of what he (the new comer) took to be a granulated sugar sample. Scenting competition from a new quarter, he assumed a critical air and sniffed at the sample, took some of it in his fingers, and with the air of a connoisseur assured the merchant that there was no centrifugal in it, and that it was not worth over three cents. He wag quite sure his company could duplicate it at a very low figure. When he finally offered to take a sample and send to his people for that purpose, the owner of the sample, who was also present, ob« served that that would hardly be necessary, as this particular article came from the Windsor Salt Works. There was a sudden and awful silence for a minute. It was broken by the merchant, who had been laboriously holding his sides as long as he could. —Maritime Grocer.

Rare Catch in Maine.

An exceedingly rare animal, a black-faced, black-“ared caribou, was recently shot at Andover, Me. This caribou was also unu-ually large, with big, branching horns.

SIGNS HIS FULL NAME NOW.

A Clubman's Embarrassing Experience After Writing a Lore Letter. “Do you know," said Mr. Man to a New York Tribune reporter the other evening at the roor garden, “that the boys at the club have a merry and most distressing ‘find 1 on me. I suppose it's one of the inevitable consequences of renouncing bachelorhood that a man lays himself open to attack from the most unsuspected juarters. Now, loyal citizen as I im, I have received a bitter blow from the United States Government It stabbed me, Using the dead letter office as a dagger. It was like this: Just a month ago"at the club I wrote a letter to the girl I am going to marry. I had told only two or three of my intimate friends of the engagement, and we were not going to announce it until fall. Well, as I was saying. 1 wrote to Alice Jevons that day at the club, and told her how fond I was of her. I loved her very hard that day, and I used some strong expressions: I suppose my heart ran away with my pen, so to speak. “To make a short story a little longer, I sat down by the window to direct the envelope. I got to gazing out on the fleecy clouds floating across the blue depths of the sky, and thinking about her, as a man does, vou'know. Well, I suppose I directed the letter wrong. It never reached her. Instead of that, a month later came a nasty-looking official envelope addressed to ‘Loving Tom,’ in care of the club. The postuttlce people had not been able to And the girl, so they \tried to send the drivel back to the one who wrote it, and their only clue was the signature and the engraved letter-head. Well, nobody at the club could fancy who ‘Loving Tom’ was, so the house committee opened the envelope. The first thing they saw was ‘Dearest Alice,’ aud the first sentence was absolute inanity. Then they recognized my writing and forebore to read further." Mr. Man stopped to wipe from his brow the perspiration which sprang forth at the thought of his mortification. “Well, there’s just one thing about it,” he added, thoughtfully, “I’ll never again sign myself anything but my full name, even if I live to be a regular Methuselah, and write to Mrs. Methuselah every day.”

STICKS TO A MAIMED HUSBAND.

A Good-Looking; Street Singer Who Earns a Comfortable Living. A comfortably constructed invalid carriage, pushed by a sweet-faced young woman who would have been taken for a daughter of the occupant of the carriage, rolled up on the pavement in front of the Sixth street entrance to the Palace Hotel, Cincinnati, the other evening. The corridor of the hotel and the pavement were thronged with guests of the hotel. All were watching this curious couple. The carriage stopped and the young woman took a position alongside it. The occupant of the carriage unstrapped a mandolin from his back. Soon the great crowd was listening to “Summer Will Come Again,” which the young woman sang with all the grace of a professional, being accompanied by the occupant of the carriage on the mandolin, which he handled in really excellent style. Several songs followed, the

A PRETTY PICTURE.

couple being handsomely repaid by the hotel guests. The sweet-faced young woman and the invalid carriage with its burden then proceeded on. Few who saw the couple knew that they were husband and wife. Harry L. Blake is the name of the mandolin player, says the Enquirer. He is about 40 years old, while his wife is at least twenty years his junior. lie was a brakeman for the Oregon Navigation Railroad Company, and lost a leg while employed by that company, besides sustaining other injuries. They have traveled all over the country, he and his wife entertaining thousands in their travels.

Understand Your Agreements.

Many of the disputes which arise between buyer and seller are due to the fact that in making a contract the terms are not clearly understood. In so common a matter as the buying and selling of goods it is necessary that all points relative to the trans action should be definitely stated. Some houses state distinctly on their bill heads the terms on which sales are made, so that the buyer is compelled to recognize the terms. There are many other contracts which come up in the course of business which need a clearer understanding than the act of buying goods. It is important that both parties should thoroughly understand the transaction. There are publications devoted to contracts in which forms are given, but many of these legal forms seem better devoted to obscuring than clearing up matters. In all transactions it is necessary to come to a point and have that point clearly understood. Long arguments are not necessary, and the whole tendency of modern trade is' to put things on a basis of brevity. It is advisable to make a written memorandum of agreements, for it will always be in evidence and save many future disputes.

She Could Be Familiar Too.

Mr. Justice O’Brien, when Attorney General, was once examining a countrywoman, and thus addressed her: “Now, Mary O’Connor, tell me all you etc. The witness, casting an indignant look at her questioner, said with asperity: “Mrs. O'Connor, if you plaze, Tether!"

RELICS OF BARBARIC DAYS.

Pocithment Meted Out to Prisoner* in a Delaware Jail. It seems scarcely credible that in this advanced age of enlightenment, when we boast o a civilization that is as nearly perfect as it can possibly be, there survive such barbarous modes of punishment as the pillory and whipping post. But if Nellie Bly, she of globe-trotting fame, is to be believed, they are very much in evidence today, and can be found in the State of Delaware. She claims to have seen eight men publicly flogged and one man stand in the pillory of the penal institutions of that State last week. The place where this inhuman torture was inflicted was the ccunty jail at New Castle, six miles from Wilming-

GIVING A PISONER TEN LASHERS.

ton. The punishment is meted out to the prisoners in the jail yard, and the public is always welcome. The law of the State requires that the whippings shall take place between the hours of 10 and 12. The first sight that struck the visitor was an exhibition of the working of the pillory. In the middle of the yard, on a raised ulatform, it stood, in plain sight of the crowd that had assemb ed to witness the punishment inflicted. The man who was to bo Dilloried was convicted of forgery and was sentenced to spend one hour in it. Two men ascended the platform with him, and while one undid iron fastenings at the end of the pillory and lifted half the board, the other placed the man's head and handi in holes cut in the other half. Then came the whipping post. After the man in the pillory had been released from his confining position and slowly and painfully straightened himself out. the sheriff appeared, holding in his hands a terrible looking' cat-o - nine tails. He was closely followed by several men surrounding a negro, stripped to the waist. Tne negro walked to the post and held his hands for the ofti. ers to pinion them to either side with the iron biacelets. The victim was convicted of larceny apd sentenced to flve laches. The punishment was administered by the sheriff, and although no blood was drawn, the white welts on the black skin told of the work of the lash. The

THE PILLORY IN NEW CASTLE (DEL.) JAIL.

second victim was also a negro and took his flogging without moving a muscle. The next man, also a negro, received ten lashes aud wriggled painfully as the whip came down on his bare back. His crime was the stealing of a pair of pants valued at fortylive cents. The first white man flogged that day was convicted of stealing a pair of shoes. This cost him ten lashes, five months' imprisonment, and his citizenship. He trembled violently as the whip swished through the air and landed on his back, leaving a heavy red mark, The next victim was an old-timer at the business, he having been flogged three times before. He, however, had net g t hardened into the painful ordeal, and writhed in agony until his slender hands slipped out from the iron bracelets. Fortunately Delaware is the only State in the Union where people are flogged, excepting Maryland, where this punishment is meted out to wifebeaters. In some parts of Delaware the whipping is done with a cowhide, which is more severe than the cat-o’-nine-tails. The number of lashes to be given, of course, varies with the enormity of the crime, sixty being the largest and five the smallest allotment. Women are not whipped, even when convicted of the same crime for which men suffer. It was formerly the custom to flog them, also, but this doubly barbaric relic of by-gone days died out about twenty-five years ago. The last woman to be"tied to the whipping post was eenvieted of murdering her husband.

SENATOR DAVIS.

Brought Into UnusuAl Prominence by Denouncing the Kyle Resolution. By his refusal to support Senator Kyle’s mail train resolution. Senator C. K. Davis, of Minnesota, became a

more than usually interesting personage. Senator Kyle’s resolution was (that interference (vith the transportation of the .United States mail only should he considered any offense against the laws of the United States. Cushman Kellogg Davis was born in Henderson, Ky., in

C. K. DAVIS.

1838, received a common school education, and in 1857 was graduated from the University of Michigan. He is a lawyer by piofess'on. From 1862-’64 be was First Lieutenant of the 28th Wisconsin Infantry. He was a member of the Minnesota Legislature in 1867; was District Attorney of the State 1868-’73; was Governor 1874-’75. He took his seat in the United States Senate as a Republican March 4, 1887, and was reelected in 1893.

Great Scott!

Mrs. Elliott, of Delaware County, New York, started down A flight of stairs with a lighted lamp in each hand and the pancake turner she had been using held in her mouth. She Jell, the handle of the implement was driven through her neck and the blade had to be cut off before- the rest of it could be pulled out. And she is recovering. _ 1 — ./ , Even the most successful attempt to bear the wheat market must go against the grain.—Buffalo Courier. A man with plenty of sand is sure to grind out an existence somehow.— Syracuse Courier.

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. Jokes end JokeleU that Are Supposed to Have Been Recently Born—Sayings < Doing, that -V® Odd, Cartons, and Laogfcable—The Week's Humor. Let Cs All Lau-he He—Whv do you think they are married? She—l heard her ask him I for a kiss last night.—Life. The Kansas corn crop will be quite short, which makes the farmer wear a wry face.—Lowell Courier. It is not the woman who fires up the quickest that makes the best match.—Richmond Dispatch. What has become of the old-fash- | ioned church member who wouldn’t go to a circus?—Atchison Globe. This is the season when a candidate rushes up to you and “fixes” you witty a 5-cent cigar. —Atchison Globe. Sckeech—What part of Mrs. Screech’s music do you like best? Wilson—The refrain.—Harlem Life. Some men ought to be ashamed of themselves, but they never happen to think about it.—Galveston News. Having a “steady” keeps a girl at home as close at home evenings as if she was married and had a bay.— Atchison Globe. W e don’t believe a long-haired man knows anything more about medicine than a short-haired man.-.-Atchison Globe. There are some young fellows who feel like going out for a lark after taking a few swallows at various places.—Picayune. It wouldn’t he so bad when the mosquito presented his bill If he didn't sign the receipt in such fiery ink.—Florida Times. Wnir,E never very much for speed, at this late day the car horse has begun going as fast as the trolley comes.—Philadelphia Times. —“Tns present only is ours,” says the preacher. This fact is of such moment that it is well to make a minute of it.—Arkansaw Traveler. Little Ethel—“ Papa says my doggie has fleas. What shall I do?” Little Johnny—“ Whenever visitors call take him to them to pet.”—Good News. Young men must relieve themselves of the impression that they cannot be on time without a stimulant and a $250 watch.—Galveston News. “It's all up with me,” groaned Skylite, as he sank on the eighth stairway, endeavoring (o reach bis flat after a hard day’s labor.—Boston Courier. It is quite natural that the actors in seashore companies should mistake for applause the noise made by people killing musquitoes.—Philadelphia Record. As a soldier-fighter the Mongolian mayn’t be much, but for an instance of sound heating he should be seen giving it to a dinner gong.—Philadelphia Times. Admiier—Where did you get all this wonderful strength? Famous Strong Man—l was a carver in a boarding house for three years.— Syracuse Post. A bill taking alcohol used in the arts off the free list has passed. This puts a plain whisky and the most elaborate cocktail on all fours.—Philadelphia Ledger. Customer—“Do you warrant this bathing suit?” Modiste—“Madame, I prefer to say nothing except that when it is worn it will show what’s in it?”—Detroit Tribune. One of the religious weeklies tells its readers how to make an aeolian harp, but it doesn’t tell them how they can appease the neighbors afterwards.—Somerville Journal. China offers a reward of 200 taels for the head of a Jap officer and 100 for the head of a private. It’s a case of heads they lose, taels the other fellow wins.—Philadelphia Ledger. Helen—Why did they all laugh at young Dudley last evening? Kate— Why, he held Miss Dollie's head so long on his shoulder that he wore her hat home by mistake.—Judge. Frank—“lt makes me mad to see my wife so dead gone on that fool of a McFlurter.” Dick—“Oh, be charitable! She used to think just as much of you.”—Boston Transcript. Topsy—Mamma, ought Itobe kind to the cat? Mamma—Certainly, my child. Why do you ask? Topsy— Because I’ve given it all the cream, and there’s none for tea.—Tid-Bits. Speaker (in the hen convention) —“There are now three measures before the house to increase the duty on eggs.” Mrs. Biddy—“ Well, I move we lay ’em on the table.”— “Some men,” said Uncle Eben, “is so soured on human nature dat when er frien’ returns a borrowed umbrell dey t’inks it am a reflection on de umbrell’s quality.’’--Washington Star. Maude—“Oh, he wrote me a lovely poem. It began: When you would know why men go mad. Go gaze Into your mirror Bertha —“What bosh! You're not so ugly as all that.”—Pearson’s Weekly. Amy—l remember your friend Clare married Mr. Nicotine so as to reform him. He was such an intemperate smoker. Howdid she succeed? Joe —Perfectly. He gave up tobacco entirely—and took to drink.—Arkansaw Traveler. Squam Inlet Postmaster—l'm beggin’ your everlastin’ pardon, lady, but ’deed it warn’t my fault. Someway ’r nuther your letter’s got a great hunk o’ red beeswax onto it, an’ I ain’t been able t’ git it off without tearin’ th’ enveioop. Leslie’s Weekly.

Vulgar Origin.

The etymologist deals a blow to sentiment by showing that the mountain from which the Kearsarge took her name was originally known as Hezekiah Sargent’s Mountain, from which the slovenly speech of the natives evolved Kiah Sarge, then Kearsarge. i

But It Should Be.

In the States of Indiana, lowa, Kansas, Mississippi, Tennessee and Vermont, and in the Territory of New Mexico, Washington's birthday is not a legal holiday.