Democratic Sentinel, Volume 18, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 September 1894 — Page 5

HONORED AT HOME.

CELEBRATION OF THE BIRTHDAY OF THE POET BRYANT. Among th* Hemlock* end Pines Shadowing tho Johannot Brook, Whoso Sighs and Songs He Wrote. The centenary of the birth of William Cullen Bryant was celebrated recently at his old home at Cummington. Mass. The visitor to Cummington to-day finds a little town of 800 people perched high on the Hampshire hills, and the most distant from any

EDWIN K. BROWN, THE ORATOR OF THE DAY.

railway of any town in the State. It is to the credit of the town that she has originated the Bryant centennial observance without suggestion from the outside world, but she has called some of the famous men and women of the country to assist in the celebration. It took place in a grove just beyond the Bryant homestead. There was an address of welcome from the librarian of the Bryant library, and Parke Godwin, Mr. Bryant’s son-in-law, presided. The orator was Edwin R. Brown, of Elmwood, 111., a warm personal friend of Bryant and of his brother, John H. Bryant, as well. The brother, the only surviving member

BRYANT HOMESTEAD, WHERE THE POET SPENT HIS YOUTH.

of the family of Dr. Peter Bryant, read ‘ ‘The Rivulet, ”“A Monody” and “At 87,” the last two his own poems. Among the other speakers were John Bigelow, who was so many years associated with Mr. Bryant on the New York Evening Post; Charles Eliot Norton, professor of fine arts in Harvard University; Charles Dudley Warner, Rev. John W. Chadwick, the poet-preacher of Brooklyn; President G. Stanley Hall, of Clark University of Worcester; George W. Cable and others.

JOHN H. BRYANT.

Mrs. Julia Ward Howe read a poem which was written by her for Bryant’s sixtieth birthday, and, in addition, several stanzas appropriate for the occasion. There w r ere letters from Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Henry L. Dawes and others. The evening previous to the celebration the children of the town, led by those of the Bryant School, had an observance of their own. “Very few people ever got so near his heart as children,” said Mrs. Mary Dawes Warner the other day, in speaking of William Cullen Bryant. Few people are better able to judge of the poet’s love of children than Mrs. Warner. For twelve years she was his favorite at his summer home in Cummington, and in chatting with a Recorder correspondent a few days ago Mrs. Warner gave many charming reminiscences of the poet as he appeared during the last years of his life there. Mrs. Warner said : “My first recollection of Mr. Bryant was in 1866. My foster father, Francis H. Dawes, had purchased for Mr. Bryant the old homestead, which had been out ci the family possession for some years. Mr. Bryant had come there to spend the summer. He knew that my foster parents had no children, r.nd when he found a tiny, tousled little girl roaming about the place with all the independence of childhood he was naturally somewhat surprised. “ ‘Who are you?’ he said, as it seemed to me me somewhat sternly. “ ‘l’m a soldier’s little one,’ I replied. “ ‘What are you here for?’ he asked. “ ‘Because I have nowhere else to go,’ I made answer, ‘fo; my father is dead.’ “‘This is certainly the place tor you,' he said, and he took me in his

arms, and ever afterward we were the best of friends. “During the several months of vacation which Bryant spent every year at the home we had many merry romps together. He was shy and unapproachable even with the neighboring families, as I recall him, and often reticent with those who knew him best, but I always found a smile and kind word, even though, when he was hard at work, I brought up my pies to his study to be admired. “Sometimes he tossed me into his waste basket, and. taking it to the door, tilted it until I rolled out. And then I knew I must run away. Again, he would tell me that I might stay if I would not talk —a sentence which he well knew would deprive him of my company. And, then again, placing me on one corner of "his writing table, he would read to me such queer words from books in which the letters all looked dizzy. “Then all would be still, save the scratching of his pen as it went over the paper till I slipped off the table and out into the sunshine. Or, having been very good, I was rewarded by having both hands filled with goodies from the glass jar in the cupboard under the bookshelves, and I munched them contentedly while he wrote. “Years afterward I learned that those queer words were Greek, and this was how Bryant translated the Iliad and the Odyssey. “One rainy day, after long hours of work with the study door shut, he found me waiting as he came out, and a famous romp we had through the halls till he caught me and held me fast to rest. I nestled down and began, ‘One, two,’ to which he replied, ‘Buckle my shoe,’ and humoring my whim, answered with original rhymes as I counted far beyond the Mother Goose limit. “I recall that in 1877, the year before his death, he came out into the kitchen where I was washing dishes and said, as he leaned up against a shelf, ‘Mary, here is something I think you will appreciate,’ And then he read some lines said to have been written by a young lady for her own consolation upon the death of her father. You must never give up in despair and grief, For according to God’s dispensation The trials of earth are trifling and brief Compared with eternal damnation.

“Here he chuckled, for he seldom laughed heartily. He always was kind, social and lovable to me. So closely had I entwined myself about his heart that I could do with him about as I pleased. I remember how my mother and the neighbors, especially the latter, used to look askance when I would climb onto his knees and braid his long, white beard into a silken cue, and then ask him if he hadn’t rather I would make two braids instead of one. “Everybody who knew him loved him, though at times he was quiet and apparently shut up in himself.” Mrs. Francis L. Dawes, who together with her husband and Mrs. Warner, lived for twenty-four years on the Bryant homestead, is scarcely less replete with interesting reminiscence than her daughter. Mrs. Dawes is now well along in years, but as bright and sociable and enthusiastic over the poet’s name as anybody. Mrs. Dawes told the Recorder correspondent of an interesting scene on the piazza of the Bryant house. 'lt was before the death of Charles Sumner, and he and George William Curtis and Bryant were having a conversation about the threatened downfall of the Republican party. So much intelligence, such representative men, had never before rested on Cummington soil, and the neighbors, one by one, slipped around back of the house and entered a room adjoining the piazza, and to-

MONUMENT MASKING THE POET’S BIRTHPLACE.

day some of them have not forgotten craning their necks, straining their eyes and ears and drinking in the learned conversation of the statesman, the editor and the poet. Miss Julia Sands, a daughter of the poet, was present. Of late years she has made her home in Paris. Mrs. Sophronia O. Rogers, a sister of ex-Sena-tor Dawes, and who is now 82 years old, was also present. She is the only survivor who attended the Jittle village school with Brvant. and she

gives Many interesting reminiscences of the great poet, and speaks interestingly of the sixty notches which he cut in a beam as evidence of his standing for sixty consecutive days at the head of the spelling class. Bryant’s library stands intact today as it was used by him. The same is true of his bed chamber. They are visited yearly by hundreds of pilgrims. The plain Chester shaft of granite which marks the poet’s birthplace, stands on the Tower farm, a mile nearer the village.

THE HONORED POET.

The observance itself was held on the homestead, in an orchard of which Bryant sang. All about the place are scenes made memorable by his poems. Among them are the Bryant wall, the old hemlocks and pines, the Johannot Brook, the Rivulet, the Roaring Brook and a score of others. —[W. S. C., inN. Y. Recorder.

A Study in Horsemanship.

The South American Gauchos are by far the most picturesque, and at the same time the most reckless riders in the whole outfit, although it is possible that the Cossacks might dispute this claim. They ride with a stirrup so short that their knees are hunched up close to the horse’s neck. The Gauchos never let their horses stumble or fall, in which respect they are the exact opposite of the Mexicans, who are the poorest riders in Zhe show. A Cossack looks almost like a centaur. He appears to be a part of the horse, and depends upon the stirrup almost entirely to keep in his seat. The horsemanship of the Gauchos and Cossacks is a convincing argument in favor of short stirrups. The Mexicans use the fanciful Mexican saddle, which means that the legs are extended full length, and rest very lightly in the stirrup. They control their horses by touching the neck with the rein, never by pulling on the bit. The American cowboys ride after a fashion peculiarly their own—a long leg and a tight hug with the calf. The Irish are exemplars of the old-fashioned English cross-coun-try style, very graceful, and capable of being continued for hours without fatigue. It cannot be said that the German cavalrymen are good riders. Most of them are heavy men. They adhere strictly to the German army style, stirrup and leg, and make a high rise from the saddle. The American cavalrymen are splendid horsemen, and they are just the weight. All of them are lithe, muscular fellows. They stick close to the saddle. The Frenchmen are a little heavy for graceful riding, but they follow the French school closely, which is not unlike the English. The natural riders are the Indians. They spurn a saddle. An unstrapped blanket serves for a seat. Indians are never thrown. Their horses seldom, if ever, fall. They cling to their horses with the inner muscles of the leg, which, from constant riding, become as hard and tough as steel.'—[New York Mail and Express.

How Shrimps Are Caught.

The shrimp sold in the city are caught during the night before by “casters,” who go, two in a boat, to some favored locality and there “cast” all night long for the delicious little crustacean that is served up at nearly every breakfast table in the city in the morning. “Casting” is the throwing wide-spread on the water of a circular net, the edge of which is weighted with leaden balls and provided with drawing strings, which, passing through the centre of the net, are attached to the edges. The net when cast in the water, of course, sinks more rapidly at the edges than in the middle, and confines within its meshes the shrimps over which it may have fallen. The rope to which is attached the. drawing string being pulled, the net closes at the bottom and is lifted into the boat with its contents. When Aurora begins his work of tinting the eastern sky, those hardy casters are on their way to the city. Here they hand over their booty to men who cry them about the streets, measuring the shrimps out to them from their boats by the “plates” or pan, the seller agreeing to sell the shrimps and hand over the proceeds, less a liberal commission.—[Charleston (S. C.) News and Courier.

Better Than a Steam Foghorn.

“ While traveling through southern California a few years ago,” said Matthew L. Gregory of Minneapolis, I carpe across an interesting curiosity known as the ‘ whistling well.’ It was on a farm and had been dug a number of years previous and abandoned, as no water had appeared. A short time after it had been dug it was noticed that a strong current of air kept rushing in and out of the well, and a flat stone with a hole in the center was placed over it. Into this hole a whistle was fastened, which changed its tune as the air was drawm in or blown out, and it was soon found to be a reliable weather barometer. In pleasant weather the whistle was silent, but if a storm was brewing its approach was heralded by the warning shrieks of the whistle, as the air rushed in and out of the well. When the storm passed the current of air changed and the faithful whistle told the story by its changed tune.”—[St. Louis GlobeDemocrat.

TRUTH NOT IN THEM.

REPUBLICANS MISREPRESENT FACTS REGARDING SUGAR. False and Misleading Assertions as to the Sugar Duties In the New Tariff—Attitude of Republican Senators Towards Those Duties. “Tell the Truth." Several prominent journals of the Republican ] arty are filling their editorial columns with false or misleading assertions as to the sugar duties in the new tariff and the attitude of the Republicans in the Senate toward tho-e duties. In this way preparation for the coming Congressional campaign is made. The Chicago Inter Ocean, leading organ of McKinleyism in the West, publishes the following in an editorial article: By action of a Democratic President, of a Democratic Senate, and of a Democratic House of Representatives, the people will be taxed at the rate of ftO.OOO, 000 or so a year for the exclusive benefit of the sugar trust. The Inter Ocean knows that this is not true. The revenue duty of 40 per cent, will vield “$■>0,000,0(50 or so a year’’ not for the exclusive benefit of the sugar trust, but for the exclusive

HIS FACE TOWARD THE MORNING.

benefit of the National Treasury. The trust has a protective duty on refined sugar aside from that, and while it will yield a large sum, that sum cannot be $40,000,1)00. It will be only about three-quaters of the sum realized by the trust every year out of the McKinlay tariff's protective duty on refined sugar, because the trust's duty in the new tariff is only about threequarters o f its duty in the McKinley act. We think it should have no duty whatever, but why should any one lie about it? The Inter Ocean would have its readers believe that the trust pockets all the revenue duty that really goes into the treasury. The New York Tribune said, on the 20th inst.,'in an editorial article : Raw sugar is now practically free under reciprocity conditions. Under the Gorman bill It will be heavily taxed, and In such a way that the monopolists will be enriched at the expense of consumera

This is another version of the Protective Tariff League's assertion that the McKinley tariff gave the people free sugar. It did not Moreover, while it is true that the sugar trust will be “enriched at the expense of consumers” (although not so generously enriched as it has been by the McKinley tariff), it will be enriched by the duties on refined sugar, and not by the duty on raw, except so far as its stock of raw material on - hand when the bill becomes operative is concerned. The trusts protective duties in the new tariff are too high—indeed there, should be none whatever —but they are not so high as the trust’s duties in the Republican tariff. It is not true that the McKinley tariff gave the people free sugar, it empowered the trust to collect from the people a tax of 60 cents on every 100 pounds, and the tr ust admits that this tax has been collected. If 3,850,000,000 pounds of refined sugar are consumed here in a year, this trust tax in the McKinley tariff has been equivalent to $23,')b0,000 per annum. It to this be added the bounty paid by the people to the do nestle producers, $9,375,000 year before last and about $12,000,000 last we have an annual tax of from $32,000,010 to $35,000,000 paid by consumers of sugar and the people generally on sugar under the McKinley tariff, a tax rjp part of which went into the Nationa. Treasury, two-thirds of it going to the combined refiners and the remainder to the domestic producers.

The Philadelphia Press has repeatedly asserted in the last few days that the Republicans are Vpposed to protective duties for the sugar trust and are in favor of ‘ free sugar for the people,” a policy “declared and embodied in the McKinley law." We have just shown that no such policy was embodied in that law, and we could prove it by fiftv citations from the Press’ own columns. We quote the following from the Press’ recent editorial articles:

Republicans stand ready to wipe out the Inordinate trust pro Its.—[Aust 18.1 The Republican record In the tariff fight at Washington is all right. . . . Let the Republicans keep their record straight. They are lor free sugar and the repeal of the Gorman bill. They are against any bonus tor the sugar trust They are against the trust monopoly and for free sugar. —[Aug. 20.] No confirmation of this news about the Republcan attitude can ba found in the Congressional Record. This article of the 2cth was published after the highly interesting proceedings of last Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and the passage of the Murphy resolution by Republican votes. The official record shows the Senate Republicans strove to block and kill the House free sugar bill or any modification of it, and that they were in combination with Gorman and the sugar trust Democrats throughout the fight against this measure. We analyzed the parliamentary record of those three days on Monday last. The Republican Senators could at any time in those days have had the assistance of at least sixteen Democrats in cutting off the Fuga- trust’s “bonus," but they preferred an alliance with Gorman and his group. Were Gorman and his “conservative” associates “against any bonus for the sugar trust?” Were they “against the trust monopoly?” Does the Press think they were? Does it think the Republican Senators joined them and assisted them in order that they might thereby show their opposition to this “bonus” and this “monopoly.'” The Republican Senators were "against

CAN THEY FOOL HIM AGAIN ?

Why a Reduction ? There is some talk by woolen manufacturens about reducing the wages of their employes by reason of the tariff legislation. But why should they do it? Others of their class Confess candidly that the bill protects them abundantly. A prominent manufacturer, Robert Bleakie, says: “I am well pleased with the tariff bill just passed as affecting wools and woolens. As a result of this bill, I predict a degree of prosperity permanent and lasting to New England’s woolen industry. I feel sure that within three years public opinion will havo so changed, from the beneficial effects that will be apparent, that it will be difficult to find a woolen manufacturer in the country who will not be a Convert to the new order of things.” And naturally so, when one looks at it. The interests of these manufacturers have been very well cared for, indeed. They get tneir raw material, wool, free from the moment the bill b’comes law, and they get the full benefit of the McKinley rates on the manufactured prcducts'till Jan. 1, 1895. All the wool they import, and all they have in bonded warehouses, they get absolutely free: while, until thflt time, they have the full benefit of the high McKinley duties. For four months they will be better protects! than ever before, and yet they threaten to reduce wages! After Jan. 1 they will have 50 per cent, protection and free wool. Is not their outlook good?— Rome Daily Sentinel.

Tin-Plate Prophet* Routed. The tin plats industry continues to display a perverse indifference to the goings on in Washington, and is reported to be pretty active at a moment When it ought to be in the throes of dissolution. A Pittsburg dispatch says: “Thp settlement of the tari'i has given an Immediate impetus to the development of the black-plate and tin-plate industry.” The settlement of the tariff. it hae been freely predicted, was to sound the knell of the tin-plate business. If the dispatch from Pittsburg is to be credited, “plans th a l . have been held in abeyance for months are now being put into effect and considerable eagerness is displayed to invest money in this directif n.” Three considerable projects for tin-plate establishments are n-med.—Journal of Commerce end Commercial bulletin. The Monopolist*’ Idol. The Cecil (Md. I Democrat says: “This great man Senator borman stands today the idol of the monopolist and the self-convicted agent of the sugar trust. Exalted by the Republican party, condemned b/ his own. winning laurels as a shrewd manipulator, losing caste as a public servant, his honor is swallowed up in the reproaches of his friends. ” Vast fortunes are supposed to lie buried and forgotten in the Mexican mountains.

any bonus for the sugar trust" as Mr. ' Quay, the Republican Senator from the State in which the Press is published, was against it, and it was by his vote in July last that the differential of i of a cent was saved to the trust Their votes on last Thursday. Friday and Satday were oven more useful and valuable to the trust than his had been in July.—New York Times. McKinley it m Doomed. The McKinley bill is dead, never to rise again. Call the bill that has taken its place what you will, it has slain the monster of corruption and oppression that was saddled on the necks of the American public by monopolistic greed, through the agency of the present Governor of Ohio. That of itself is enough to make the nation rejoice. I The blow aimed in the autumn of 1892 has fallen at last, and if thiough dr- | cumstances beyond the control of honest men its force has been so weakened as to save the principle of protection from annihilation, there was enough vigor in the arm that struck to demolish the chief product and expression of the odious system. Looking at the new bill closely, it will be seen to be an important step toward a revenue tariff. Unsatisfactory as it must be to genuine reform- I ers, it is far more distasteful to pro- | tectionists, and its most incensed critics are persons and newsfapers like the New York Sun, that have persistently fought or blocked the reform

movement. In nearly every item of the bill there has been a reduction amounting in the average to between 20 and 30 per cent. Important additions have been made to the free list. Even in the sugar schedule the consumer has profited,’ for through the tangle caused by the alteration in tho manner of applying the duty on imported sugar, in spite of all that has been said to the contrary, it is apparent that sugar is much less heavily protected in the Senate bill than In the McKinley bill. The direct protection of refined sugar is reduced from fi-10 of a cent per pound to * of a cent per pound, although in various ways the trust will be able to increase the tribute. Then the bounty is wholly abolished, and that of itself saves the people upward of ten million dollars a year. So it will be seen that in spite ot the scoundrelism of the Gorman-Brice cliciue and the pollution o’ the Senate by the monopolistic tyrants whom the McKinley bill bred the victory of 1892 has not g no without reward. Some of the burden has been lifted from tho shoulders of the weary people. More important still, the bill, as Mr. Cleveland suggests, is “a barrier against the i eturn of a mad protection” and •burnishes a vantage-ground for lurther aggressive operations against protection, monopoly and governmen tai favoritism.” The McKinley bill is dead. McKinloyismis doomed!—Chi cago Post.

THE JOKER’S BUDGET.

JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. And Now They Do Not Speak--Evi-dently ■ True Story--Utilising His Gift- -In Japan, Etc., Etc. AND NOW THEY DO NOT SPEAK. He—Did you know opals were in again? She—No; how do you know? He—At the hop Tuesday an opal pendant was worn by Mrs. Stoutly, suspended by a fine gold chain. She—l shouldn’t have supposed a fine gold chain would hold her. EVIDENTLY A TRUE STORY. “John,” said the wife to herself, as she proceeded to disrobe her husband, who had gone to bed with his boots on, “John told me he had studied for the bar in his youth I can well believe it, for I think he knows every bar in town.”—[New York Press. UTILIZING HIS GIFT. “What became of that boy of yours with the powerful voice, who was to study elocution and prepare himself for the stage?” “Thatproject fell through.” “Has he been able to utilize his gift at all?” “Oh, yes; it got him a position.” “Of what nature?” “He is selling circus lemonade.”— [New York Press. IN JAPAN. Japanese Secretary—You say you want to serve us? American—Yes, sire! “And you are from the United StatcA?” “I am, sirel” “And you understand military matters?” “As a book, sire!” “What military service have you seen in America that would make you valuable to us?” “I’m a pension Attorney, sire!” —[Cleveland Plain Dealer.

THE WELCOME VISITOR. She did not love him, she, tho beautiful daughter of a merchant prince. Yet her heart was tender and she knew that to love is to bo happy. He had been coming to the house every day for four years, and she was always glad to see him, and many, many times she had run joyfully to the door to meet him. The human heart knoweth its own mystery. Ho was tho mail carrier and he had a wife and eight children.—[Detroit Free Press. ROMANCE THAT COST. “Marie and George have quarreled, you know. Ho told her one night, that when he was out of town ho always felt as though he would give $lO for just a word with her.” “Well?” “And so the next time he did leave town she put him to the test by calling him up on a long-distanco telephone and making him pay tho bill.”—[Chicago Record. THE ONLY THING NEEDED. Six-year-old Alice, traveling on tho cars, regarded a fat lady near her so long and so earnestly that the lady remarked pleasantly, at last: “Well, my dear, what do you think of me?” “I think,” replied Alice, “that you would be atyery nice-looking lady if you could only be slimmed a little.” —{Youth's Companion. HIS OBJECTION. “How do you like the young woman from Boston?” asked the young man’s sister. “Oh, very well. Only she uses such big words. I gave her a flower and she wouldn’t call It by anything but Its scientific name.” ‘ ‘But you always liked botany.” - “It wasn’t her botany I objected to. It was her haughty-culture.”— [Washington Star. TO HE CONGRATULATED. Teacher—For what were the ancient Romans remarkable? Dick Hicks They understood Latin. ON WITH THE BALL. Arizona Pete—l should like very much to go to the dance with you, but, you see, I didn’t come dressed for it. Fewclothes Never mind that, partner, I can let you have a couple of guns. IT WAS HER FAULT. A little boy, after helping himself several times to water, finally upset the glass, upon which his mother exclaimed impatiently: “My son, I knew you were going to do that.” “Well, mother, if you had only told me in time I would not have done it,” said the boy.—[Philadelphia Times.

A HOT WEATHER WISH. Oh, for a lodge in a wilderness Of icebergs, ten miles high, And snow so deep that a man could sleep On top of it next to the sky. Oh, for a pelar sea in town, Where a man could swim all day And sleep at night in the moon’s pale light On an ice floe in the bay. Oh, for a sea of lemonade, Ice cold, which he might quaff; Oh, for a cold-cold-cold-wave flag, And the North Pole for a staff. —[Detroit Free Press. THE DIFFERENCE. The difference between large ships And fanners, you’ll allow. Is this: The large ship plows the sea, While farmers seize the plow. A MATTER OF QUESTION. Maid—Please, ma’am, I’d like to give you a week’s notice. Mistress—Why, Mary, this is a surprise. Do you hope to better yourself? Maid (blushing)—Well, not exactly that, ma’am. I’m going to get married.—[Truth. THE WRETCH. Fogg pretends to have made the discovery that “better half,” referring to one’s wife, was originally written “bitter half.” That means something, he says. The wretch.— (Boston Transcript. 1

A BORN GALLANT. >1 Detroit home has among its lares et penates a small boy who will be a Chesterfield in point of manners at least, if given half a chance. Ha baa a great admiration for hi* and yet there are times when aba is compelled to punish him. Such a thing occurred the other day. “Now,” said she. after she had concluded a vigorous spanking for willfulness, “I hope you have changed your mind.” “No, mamma,” he sobbed. “I always said I’d rather be spanked by you than kissed by any other lady in town, and I think so yet.”— [Detroit Free Press. AN EXTRAORDINARY WOMAN. The Friend—Have yoa seen yoar husband’s mother yet? The Bride—l have, and she is the most extraordinary woman I ever heard of. The F.—How is that* The B.—Why, she thinks me good enough for her son.— [New York Press. MURDERING HIM. A local band was one day playing at Dunfermline, when tin old weaver came up and asked the bandmaster what that was they were playing. “That is ‘The Death of Nelson,* **■ solemnly replied the bandmaster. “Ay, man,” remarked the weaver, “ye hae glen him an awfu’ death.”[Dundee News. ANGULAR. Clara—You want to be careful, dear, when you have on your new wrap, not to lean your shoulder against anything. Maude—Why? Clara—You might mako a hole in it.—[Philadelphia Life.

CELTIC PHILOSOPHY. Brannigan—There’s another wano* them rich banker fellers, as has just lost two million dollars in wan day. McManus—Begob, an’ its better than if it happened to a poor workin' mon.—[Truth. CAREFUL HORACK. The stately steamer ploughed it* way through the blue waves of 1-ake Michigan: “Oh, Horace!” moaned the young bride, who a moment before had paced the deck with smiling face and love-lit eye, the happiest of the happy? “I feel so queer! I«et me lean on your shoulder.” "No, dearest, don’t do that!” exclaimed Horace, hastily; “loan over tho side of the steamer.”— [Chicago Tribune. EASILY EXPLAINED. Henderson—Why did they turn Skinner out of the church? Williamson—He sold the pastor a horse.—[Life. THE PLACE TO FIND IT. “America has no standing army, I believe,” said the foreigner. “It’s clear you haven’t spent much time in the street cars of thia great country,” replied the native. — [Truth. TRULY PENITENT. The Judge—l should think you would be sorry for having so far forgotten yourself as to throw a plate at your wife. The Prisoner (penitently)—l ain, your honor; that plate cost tea cents.—[Buffalo Courier. NAMING HER POISON. “If you were about to commit suicide,” said the pale, mournful girl, “what poison would you select?” “I would select tyrotoxicon, a poison which I understand is obtainable only in ice cream,” replied the girl to whom life is a pleasure.— [New. York Sun. IN THE PROFESSIONAL SLANG.

The Sarcastic Barnstormers (lifter the bombardment from the gallery) —I have eggs enough now, thank you. Will no one send up an accompanying ham? The Gallery (with emphasis)— lt’s on the stage now. - [Chicago Record. THE RETORT COURTEOUS. She—But how can you think I’m pretty, when my nose turns up so dreadfully? Me—Well, all I have to say is, that It shows mighty poor taste in backing away from such a lovely mouth. —[Philadelphia Life. UNLESS THEY ARE WATCHED. “Your city seems to be pretty well' cut up by electric railways,” said the visitor. “It is,” responded the resident. “And so are the citizens.”— [Chicago Inter-Ocean. TO AVOID CONFUSION. He was quite frantic by this time. He would have knelt on the wet sands at her feet had he possessed a change of trousers. “I give you my heort,” he cried. She smiled pleasantly. “Would you like it checked?” she asked. “Hearts are so much alike,, you know.” 11 seemed to him that he must die, but he did not. He was spared for other things.— [Detroit Tribune.

Mountain Sickness.

M. Regnard is a. French savant wh» has been investigating the causes of mountain sickness. He took two normal fowls in default of willing Alpists, and put them under a. vacuum pump with a diminution of pressure corresponding to an altitude of 10,000 feet. One of the fowls was allowed to take its ease, the othez had to turn a sort of squirrel cage. The one that was exerting itself showed signs of sickness, while the other remained unaffected. When, the vacuum was increased to a point corresponding with barometric pressure at 2,000 feet, both the fowle gave out and resigned themselves to die. The idle one, however, was shortly restored on, being released, whereas the other went through a. protracted and uncomfortable illness. The inference is that mountain sickness is as much due to fatigue and; wear of tissue as to rarity of the atmosphere, and that if lifts or balloons could be applied to the Himalayas, for instance, mountaineering would be deprived of one of its most unpleasant features. —i [Pall Mail Gazette.