Democratic Sentinel, Volume 18, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 June 1894 — Page 6

gljeJlfnwcrolttStiitiitd J. W. McEWKN, Publisher. RENSSELAER, - - • INDIANA.

IN PRE-GLACIAL DAYS

REMAINS OF THE EARLY SETTLERS OF WYOMING. Evidence* of Singular Creature* of the Eocene and Miocene Periods Found In the Bad Lands—Success of Agents of the Museum ot Natural History. Found In a New State. The immense county of Uintah, extending from the north end of what constitutes Yellowstone Park, marks the western boundary of the State of Wyoming and makes the southwestern corner of that recently admitted State. This corner has some of that peculiar western formation known as bad lands, and this spot covers an area of about 5,000 square miles and is particularly rich in fossils of preglacial animals. These bad lands, according to official geology, were once lakes back in what are known as the eocene and miocene periods of tertiary time, which means the first two of the three principal divisions during which were laid down the groups of rocks. It Is averred by these scientists that the rivers discharging into these lakes so wrought on the surrounding soil that the lake basins became filled with alluvial material, and in these old beds and in the cliffs surrounding

SKELETON OF A PATIROFELIS.

them are found the fossil skeletons of the peculiar fauna that illustrated life in those early days. It may be added that while the estimated time since these periods varies, it is evident that the first mentioned was not less than 100,000 years ago and the second at least half as much. Into this region a party of fossil hunters penetrated a year ago to collect specimens for the Museum of Natural History of New York and camped on this region six months. Their search was rewarded with finds of some remarkable creatures hitherto almost wholly unknown to the science of paleontology. Most notable among these specimens is that of an animal never yet found outside of America—a huge mammal that represents a compromise between the elephant and the rhinoceros and which, singularly enough, was equipped with three sets of horns. Two pointed, upright sets of horns projected from the top of the head, two forward from the

UINTATHERICUM.

end of the nose or snout downward, and two inclining with a slight curve backward, midway on the snout. The animal was a swamp and-lagoon denizen and the equipment denotes an aquatic root digger. Of this creature this New York party secured fifteen skulls and one entire skeleton, one of the skulls measuring over two and a half feet across, indicating a monster of no mean dimensions. As a courtesy to the Uintah Mountains, near a spur of which the whole aggregation was found, the beast was named Uintathericum, and palentology may add another oddity to its catalogues and another accession to its quantity of orthographical terror. Many, perhaps most, of these fossils are in solid, greenish sandstone, and when seen on the surface frequently stand out in bas-relief. But something far more appalling than a slowly depositing, alluvial process is necessary to account for the evidentr ly simultaneous death of a herd of any kind of creatures, and especially does this process not explain their fossils in compact sandstone. Another rare American specimen secured was the patirofelis, an entire skeleton of which was found at the foot of a cliff on a small tributary of Green River. This is the supposed ancestor of the modern feline tribes and is interesting as marking the advent of the swimming carnivora on the plane of development. Only two small broken pieces of jaw had hitherto been secured of this animal. Another large mammal found was the palseosyops. The snout was ornamented with a single twenty-

SKULL OF THE PALÆ OSYOPS.

inch horn, an eocene product, and was then not larger than a modern sheep, but in 50,000 years had developed to almost elephantine proportions. His presentCongenaic cousins are the tapir and rhinoceros. These explorers also found the geological ancestor of the horse, but no longer than a shepherd dog, Tertiary Wyoming was semi-tropical, as numerous monkeys are in the collection, as well as other animals belonging to the warmer zones.

His Order.

A speaker who has planned an address for a multitude, and finds him self confronted with but a single auditor, sometimes fails to readjust his remarks, and the result is apt to he ludicrous. A little story illustrative of this point is told in conneowith a former president of the Cotversity of North Carolina. . Om day, as this dignified and

stately personage was walking about the campus, be observed an unlawful assemblage of students at some little distance. He did not hasten his steps, but proceeded slowly toward them with his head down and his eyes apparently bent in contemplation of his own boots. When this leisurely proceding had brought him to the spot where the students had been gathered, only one young man remained, the others having precipitately departed. The president raised his head and surveyed the solitary culprit with apparent severity, although the young man always contended that he detected a twinkle in his keen eyes. “Sir," said the president in a commanding tone, “instantly disperse to your several places of abode!” Difficult though the feat required certainly was, the young man executed to the best of his ability by “dispersing” without further delay.

DUET IN A HORSE CAR.

With an Accompaniment by the Conductor Ending in His Enrichment. Two women boarded a Broadway cable car at Thirtieth street at matinee time Saturday. With a great deal of fluttering and chattering they secured two seats. The car had gone on about a block when the conductor held out his hand. “O, Carrie, don’t mind, I’ve got the change right here," said one, delving into a little purse. “Now, don’t bother,” said the other almost in the same breath. “I’ve got just the right change here,” and she began to dig into a purse. “Why, here it is,” exclaimed both in unison, at the same time shoving coins in the conductor’s outstretched palm. “O, why didn’t you let me pay it?” they both exclaimed together again. “Why, I j ust had the correct change," was another joint exclamation. “Papdon me, ladies, but one of you gave me a dime and the other a penny," the conductor broke In, showing the coins in his hand. “Impossible! I'm sure I had just a dime in change," said both in one breath. The conductor smiled sadly, and remained there standing with a mute expression, with the coins exposed in his still outstretched palm. “That’sso,”exclaimed both women, looking at the coins. “Well, I’ll see, but I’m sure I didn’t have a penny,” was the next joint exclamation, and both shook the contents of their purses into their laps. There were several coppers among the change that rolled out, and then the women exclaimed together: “That’s so, I forgot, it must have been me.” Both held their hands out to receive the surplus cent, and the conductor looked puzzled. “O, how singular,” was the next joint exclamation, and then both told the conductor he could keep the penny. The fare gatherer bowed gravely and moved toward the rear, while the women began a discussion as to how it could have happened.—New York Sun>.

A SINGULAR TOWER.

What It Commemorate* No One Beema t Know. At Sarnath, a few miles from Bengal, India, are many interesting ruins, and this fact has led many to believe that Benares was originally built there. As early as 399 A. D. the place was visited by Chinese Buddhist pilgrims, and it then presented an architectural picture of great magnificence. It was here that Sakya Muni, the founder of Buddhism, entered upon his mission. Rising

TOWER OF INDIA.

out of the ruins is a remarkable tower 93 feet in diameter, 110 feet above the surrounding ruins, and 128 feet above the surrounding plain. What it commemorates no one seems to know, but it is probable that it is in some way related to Buddhism.

Queen Victoria is seventy-five years old, and has been a Queen fiftyseven years. The old lady has had a comparatively uneventful but a very happy and contented life. If she lives three years longer she will have broken the record of throne-holding. In a domestic way she has done her duty. She has three sons four daughters, twelve grandsons, twenty granddaughters, and no end of great grandsons and granddaughters. The succession is not in danger. She has been a model of the domestic virtues, and a ruler without reproach. She married for love herself, though since that time she has been an inveterate matchmaker for material and poetical reasons. No age since the Elizabethan has redounded more to the glory of Great Britain than the Victorian. It is no wonder therefore that all England celebrated the good old lady’s birthday with enthusiasm, and that the world over there were cordial wishes for many happy returns of the day.

Coal Mine Fatalities.

One thousand and sixty persons were killed in coal mines in Great Britain, during last year, and sixtyfive persons in metalliferous mines, both numbers being above the yearly average. Little Emile, (as his sister Elli enters the room with an apple in her hand) —Let’s play Adam and Eve, sis. Elli—How? Emile—You tempt me with the apple, and I eat it— Fliegende Blaetter. A pretty girl can usually forgive a man for staring at her, but you wouldn’t think i-o to hear her tell the folks about it after she gets home.— Somerville Journal*

A PAIR OF HOUSES.

CAN BE ERECTED AT A COST OF 53,000. Thi* Double Boom Should Be the Property of One Man and He Can Rent Half If He Like*, or Improve According to Hl* Own Taste. A Model Home. Times, places and circumstances have at all periods been found to be good governors of parties who have, or may have had, real estate that they wanted to improve, and among the many ways that have yet been devised to produce a large amount of room at a small cost, giving the necessary accommodations to separate families, the double house undoubtedly standi ahead as far as economy is concerned; one lot is thus made to do the duty of two. one chimney, one wall and one roof doing likewise; and while we have

PERSPECTIVE VIEW.

not fully made up our minds to accept the double-house system as a sure indication of the near approach of the millennium, yet we are willing to accept it as a nearer approach to the attainment of a home—even though it may seem to be only half a home—than that system, so prevalent in our country at the present day, of putting one family on a floor directly over another, the beauties of which is a theme poets never sing about; and while the double house has its many drawbacks, such as the owner of one-half painting the exterior white and the other brown, as is frequently the case, plenty of proof of which can be seen; or one adding a bay-window and enlarging, while the other is anxious to sell out on account of his neigbor’s disposition to be always making improvements, with which his pocket-book will not allow him to keep pace, and plenty of like trouble in the same spirit that we could enumerate, all of

PLAN OF FIRST FLOOR.

which we know from actual observation and experience. The double-house should be the property of one man, as he can live in one-half and either rent the other or let itstand empty to suit his pleasure; can paint, tear down, and build up to suit his fancy; or can make both sides into one should his family wants demand it, and thus eventually convert it into a home; for we must say that the half-double house never yet associated itself in our minds other than as a mere stopping place, wherein we are waiting for the home that is to be, and sometimes never comes. The design here illustrated shows a neat and attractive front; and One which cannot fail to please even the most fastidious double-house critic, and if they are as numerous all over the country as here, they are legion. The halls are in the center of the building, stairs being placed back from front doors, which gives a roomy entrance—the stairs to cellar being under main stairs, and reached from the kitchen. Each half contains six good rooms, with bath-room, dress-ing-room, pantry, closets, etc., etc., with a large attic over the whole, which is divided by center wall running up to roof. The frame is a balloon, sheathed and clapboarded; roof, shingled on lath; underpinning of brick; inside blinds to bay-windows, outside blinds elsewhere, except cellar and dormer.

PLAN OF SECOND FLOOR

That it is accomplishing considerable for a small equivalent is fully Seen, when such a house as this is erected in a first-class manner, with all the Improvements, for $3,000. (Copyright by Palliser, Palliser & Co., N. Y.)

AN OLD-TIME INDIAN TERROR.

An Aged Indian Warrior Who for Ten Years Terrorized the Settlers of Arizona. They were talking about the present Indian outbreak when one of the party, who had been for many years a resident of Arizona Territory, remarked: . “I tell you, gentleman, that this Indian business is liable to become pretty serious before long. Why on earth the government don’t enlist 25,000 men and have those red skins rounded qp once and for all is something I cannot understand. “Why, down in Arizona, we lived for fifteen years in a state of terror on account of the marauding band of Apaches that had things pretty much their own way all this time, in spite of all that the government troops could do to keep them in check. “I call to mind particularly Old Victorio. There was a warrior for you. He commanded a band of some

two hundred bucks. . They were the Chiracahua Apaches, and the murders, robberies and depredations committed by that band during those ten years in which they were on the warpath are almost incredible. ‘•Old Victorio was nearly ninety years of age when the trouble began. He ruled those red skins with a rod of iron in spite of his years. And he was paralyzed, too, completely paralyzed. He was only able to use his left arm a little, just enough to lift a cigarette to his mouth. “He was constantly in the saddle, and had to be strapped on like a bale of goods. His band had the finest ponies to be found anywhere. They would sometimes appear at one place and in less than twenty-four hours you would hear of them at some place 100 miles distant,. All throughout southern Arizona and northern Mexico Old Victorio continued his raids until the settlers finally gave up in despair. The government troops appeared to be utterly powerless in the matter. “Why, that band of red skins would sometimes plunder a wagon train right under the noses of the troopers, and by the time the latter were mounted and ready to start in pursuit, they would be out of sight. The next day, perhaps, the wires would tell of some fresh depredation committed by the same band in a section of the country over 100 miles away. ■ “This old war dog, however, Was ! finally rounded up and shot He ! died in the saddle, fighting to the i last, and his band, what was left of | it, dispersed. Of course the settlers , heard of It and were delighted. Dismay followed, however, when Cochise took the field. This Indian ran things pretty much the same way for five years, and then came old Geronimo. “The Indians of the Northwest are much more numerous and better armed. You may take my word for it, gentlemen, we haven’t seen the last of the Indian troubles. We've hardly seen the beginning of them. The government will wake up to the fact before long, too.”—New York Herald.

FOOLED THE BANDITS.

A Strange Adventure with Road Agents in Mexico. When you are traveling alone, particularly in a country like Mexico, where bandits are even now too numerous, always carry two revolvers, one of which may be worthless, but put a good gun out of sight, says an experienced traveler. A friend of mine, McCoy Shepard, was traveling alone from Acapulco to the City ol Mexico. He knew the language ol the country well and had little thought of danger, but he went prepared for business. He put in the holster of his saddle a 44-callber revolver loaded with cartridges that barely had enough powder in them to blow the bullets out of the muzzle, and then in the small of his back be hung the handiest 38-caliber he could find when in ’Frisco. It happened that as he was coming down out of the main range three road agents stepped from the iocks beside the road and had him cornered before he could whistle. They were armed with shotguns as well as machetes, but for some reason did not shoot before they spoke, as not infrequently happens. They Invited Mac to get down, and he did perforce. Then one of them took the revolver from the holster. “Good. It is big,” said he. “Yes,” said Mac, “but it is a worthless thing after all. I never want to kill any one. I only carry it because I must make people think I am armed.” The bandits laughed at that It was incredible that such a pistol should be worthless, and they said so. “But, gentlemen, I will put my hat in the road and you may shoot at it with the pistol. The bullet will not go through the hat.” At that he took off his hat, a gorgeous Mexican affair that cost S3O in Acapulco, and put it on a rock not ten feet away and stepped back to-

HOW HE FOOLED THE BANDITS.

ward but about five feet at one side of the bandits. They were interested at once. The idea was novel to them. The man with the pistol aimed deliberately and fired at the hat. Then the three ran to look at the effect of the shot. Mac’s turn to shoot had come. Whipping out the unnoticed revolver he shot two of them down before they could turn on him. Third did no more than turn round before he caught his dose as well.

Passing of Whitechapel.

The district of Whitechapel, London, is rapidly ceasing to be, as it is g< aerally considered, a distinctly cockney-populated locality. In 1891 one in every five inhabitants of the district was a foreigner, and since then there has been a great influx of foreigners, mostly Russians and Russian Poles. More than two thousand of these foreigners settled in the district during last year, driving out almost as many The birth rate in Whitechapel is fortyone, as compared with twenty-five in the western districts of London, and forty-seven in Russia. Even if immigration should cease it is considered pretty certain that the Russians and Poles will soon predominate in Whitechapel.

Numismatic Curio.

George Russell, of Raywick, Ky., has an Irish shilling which is probably one of the first issues of thatcoin. It is a family heirloom that has been bequeathed to the oldest son in his family through successive generations. It is silver and about the size of our twenty-five cent currency. Mr. Russell has bequeathed it to his son, Kelly Russell, with its tradition. Schnapser (School Commissioner) —Us I buy meinselluf dree kegs of beer effery day vot vill I has at der endt of one year? Scholar—De kegs.

HUNTING THE ELK.

WTly It Ha* VtnUtied from tbo Plain* of the West. Elk-bunting on the plains of the West is now a thing of the past, for the elk has been banished from the wide, timberless tracts by the advance of civilization and now seeks refuge in the wild hill lands or timber tracts of mountainous regions. Little over a decade ago the elk roamed in vast herds over the plains and less than two decades ago herds of 1,000 elk were not uncommon sights. Elk-hunting then was an exciting sport and profitable, too. An army lieutenant thus gives an account of a hunt he participated in on the Loup River, Nebraska: Our party swept in a swing! ng gallop over the ridge beyond which were the unsuspecting elk. By the time the dumfounded brutes had “bunched”—

A HERD OF ELK.

the first act of an affrighted herd—we were right among them. Many of the older hunters dropped their carbines across their saddle-bows, and pulling their revolvers delivered a deadly fire at blinding range. Dashing through this little bewildered herd like a gust of wind, the hunting party swung to the left of the slope of the long ridge where, from 150 to 200 yards away, the main herd had “bunched,” 600 to 800, if not 1,000, strong. With all the rough rattle of shots, the hard hitting of horns against horns, and the drum-like clatter of the hoofs, there was a singular silence, Incongruous with so much rapidly varying excitement; for orders had been given that not a whisper should be heard till the elk had broken in an organized run in a definite course. As the western wall of elk-horns opened in that direction, with a princely buck at the head, there went up from us a yell that clove the very clouds, and scat tered the band only to bunch again. That shout delayed them hardly three seconds, but that three seconds made a success of the hunt, and before it ended we were among them. Far down on my right the Marshal’s carbine had been knocked from hia hand by the horns of a plunging buck, while near me, on the left, a burly corporal, with empty, smoking pistol, brought the barrel down like a club on the head of an elk that was trying, in the crush, to push its way directly over his horse. The elk fdll to the ground stunned. It was hand to hoof and horns for a brief second or two, and then the great surging mass broke and the long chase began. After it was ended we assembled at camp, and then the wagon brought in the carcasses of nineteen elk.

“THE FOURTH POWER.”

An Attempt to Indicate What It Looks Like. In a recent number of St Nicholas the above question was asked, more as an amusing puzzle than as a seri-

“THE FOURTH POWER.”

ous mathematical problem. Two clever correspondents, however, have sent answers. Paul R. Heyl, of Philadelphia, incloses a model in wire open work and writes: “When we wish to represent the fourth power (which, being of four dimensions, we may call a hypercube), we may do so in solid perspective by placing a cube diagonally above another and a little behind It, and joining the corresponding corners.” He refers inqdirers to a book, “Scientific Romances. ” A younger correspondent, Arthur Howe Carpenter, of Deadwood, 8. D., also defines the properties of the fourth power figure: “It is a figure bounded by eight cubes, just as a cube is bounded by six squares; it has sixteen corners, twenty-four squares, and thirty-two edges.” One of the correspondents says that this model shows as nearly as possible “what the fourth power looks like;” what it really looks like cannot be shown. This figure has many of its qualities, but the thing itself is only a theory of geometry.

Wilkins Won His Case.

Mr. Sergeant Wilkins once defended a breach-of-promlse case for a singularly ugly little man, which he told the defendant, after reading his brief, must be “bounced” through. And the Sergeant did bounce it through in a truly remarkable manmr. “Gentlemen of the jury,” he said, at the close of a most eloquent speech, “you have heard the evidence for the plaintiff; and, gentlemen of the jury, you have seen and admired that most bewitching plaintiff herself. Gentlemen, do you believe that this enchanting, this fascinating, this captivating, this accomplished lady would for one moment favor the advances or listen with anything save scorn and indignation to the amorous protestations of the wretched and repulsive homunculus, the deformed and degraded defendant?” His client looked up from the well of the court and piteously murmured: “Mr. Sergeant Wilkins! Oh, Mr. Sergeant Wilkins!” “Silence, sir!” replied the Sergeant, in a wrathful undertone. “Gentlemen,” he continued, bringing his first down heavily on the desk before him, “do you think that this lovely lady, this fair and smllingcreature, would ever have permitted an offer of marriage to be made to her by this miserable atom of humanity, this stunted creature, who would have to stand on a sheet of note paper to look over twopence?” The jury at once gave a verdict for the defendant

HOW TO PACK

Fairalar and Illustrated Beason* for the Demand for Foreign Product*. Recent reports from J. Q Monaghan, United States Consul at Chemnitz, give the reason for the demand

AMERICAN BALE, 500 POUNDS.

for certain foreign productions over American, as for instance cotton. He says: - “The packing of American raw cotton causes a deal of anxiety and complaint here. The jute cloth covering it is so torn before the bales reach Chemnitz that the cotton is exposed to mud, water, fire, and theft. Of the original six or eight iron bauds, two, three, four, and sometimes more are loose or broken; the cotton bulges out, takes up dirt and dust when in a dry place, mud in the docks, sea water when in the ships, and rain water when on land, on wharves, or in transportation by boat, rail or wagon. In transport every gust of wind tears away pieces of the valuable commodity. The cus-tom-house floors, wharves, and freight cars are usually covered with pieces torn or dropped from such bales, and the danger from fire is great, for cot-

INDIAN BALK, 400 POUNDS.

ton Ignites easily, and sparks from cigars or locomotives, fanned by the winds, even those caused by the movement of a train or wagon, could cause not only the burning of the cotton, but of other valuable property. “Contrasted with the packing of Egyptian and Indian cotton, the American must be regarded as very bad. Both Egyptian and Indian have close, compact, tough coverings, are rather long and smooth, and; leave little or none of the cotton exposed. The Indian and Egyptian bales are so tightly pressed, so well covered and bound, that injury from Are, water, dirt, dust, etc., is minimized. Take this table as to space occupied by the different bales: Amerl. . Egyptian. Indian, can. Weight (pound*) 700 wo 475 Space oocupledfcu bio ft.) 15 10 23 “The Lloyds, who can pack into their vessels’ holds 16,000 to 18,000 bales of Indian cotton, can take only 6,000 to 10,000 American, when, according to the ratio of weights (4 to 4j), they should take in 14,000 bales.

EGYPTIAN BALE, 700 POUNDS.

Consider this in the figuring of expenses, where 83, $4, $5, etc., is paid per cubic yard for ocean freights. ” Queer Stationery. When the petals of the great aurel magnolia are touched, However lightly, the result is a brown spot, which develops in a few hours. This fact is taken advantage of by a lover, who pulls a magnolia flower, and on one of its pure white petals writes a motto or message with a hard, sharppointed pencil. Then he sends the flower, the young lady puts it in a vase of water, and in three or four hours the message written on the leaf becomes visible and remains so.

London’s Narrow Streets.

A proposed law that any new building erected in London shall have its front not less than twenty feet from the middle of the street has brought out the fact that there are in the heart of the city thirty-two miles of streets less than forty feet broad. If the principle were generally applied, on a plan of reconstruction of streets, land to the value of about $40,000,000 would be sacrificed.

Natural Result.

A man living in Hastings, B. C., taught a pet monkey to drink a gin and beer half-and-half every morning before breakfast. Strange as it may seem, the anthropoid acquired a liking for this beverage, and when it was stopped the monkey took revenge on the man by biting off one of his ears. One thing led to another until the monkey was dead and the man so badly off that two doctors were called in.

Thought He Was a Witch.

In 1745 Dr. Watson stretched a wire across the Thames and sent an electric shock through it from one observer to the other. He was accused of witchcraft and had much trouble in proving his innocence. Papa— “ How is it, Alice, that you never get a prize at school?” Mamma —“And that your friend, Louisa Sharp, gets so many?” Alice—(innocently)—“Louisa Sharp haa such slever parents.”—Tid-Blts.

HUMOR OF THE WEEK

STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Many Odd, Carlon*, and Laughable Phases of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Word Artiste at Our Own Day —A Budget of Fun. Sprinkle* of Spice. The sky, unlike man, is most cheerful when bluest—Texas Siftings. Elsie—Oh, uncle, I am so fond of you! Uncle—And why? Elsie—We always have Jam when you take lunch with us.—Fliegende Blaetter. The boy who is continually carrying on in school doesn’t carry off much when the honors are distributed.—Yonkers Statesman. Tompkins—“ Did your new play meet with a warm reception?” Van Clive—“ Well, rather. The critics literally roasted it.”—Harlem Life. Business man—You want a situation as floor walker. Have you ever had any experience? Applicant—l am the father of twins.—Philadelphia Record. Ethel—Was the wedding a very brilliant one? Gladys—Oh, very; they had to employ four detectives to watch the wedding presents.—Somerville Journal. “Old man, I’m engaged to Miss Dashe. bhe’s- a dear girl.” “Yes, she is so. She cost me about SSOO the winter I was engaged to her.”— Brooklyn Life. Should Prof. Garner, in his simian studies, go so far as to get at the monkey literature, a collection of their tales might catch on.—Philadelphia Times. Teacher—Her dress was plain. Can you express that idea in more polite language? Littfe miss (one of the four hundred) —Her gown was ghastly.—Life. Bride of a year (weeping)—You used to say I was sweet enough to eat. Groom of the same period— Yes, and I wish to heaven I had eaten you.—Life. Squildig—“Do you have any difficulty meeting your bills?” McSwllligen—“No, indeed! My great difficulty is in avoiding them.”—Detroit Free Press. “How is Dykins getting on with the farm he bought?” “Pretty well. He tells me he saved money on it last year.” “How?” “Let it to another man.”—Tld-Bits. Seward—“ Were you aware that Noah understood all about electricity?” Baldwin—“No; did he?” Seward—“ Most assuredly; he made the arc light on Ararat.”—Brooklyn Life. “Er faultrflnder,” said Uncle Eben, “gits mo’ int’rest from ’is inves’ment dan any uddah man in de wurl’. He kin stah’t wld nuffin’ an’ hab trouble ter las’ ’im his whole life.”—Washington Star. Editor—l want an article written on “How to Make Poultry Pay.” Contributor—Well, you’d better ask the man who does the fishing stories, then; he’s the best liar on the staff. —Ally Sloper’s. “1 don’t think it right for doctors to charge some patients more than others. ” “Oh, I do; life is worth a great deal more to a man who has a million dollars than it is to me. ” Newport Daily News. “How does Tankins manage to keep up his extravagant mode of living?” “He has credit” “How did he get it?” “By pretending to be worried almost to death over the income tax.”—Washington Star. A lecturer informed the Professional Woman’s League of New York that human life is largely controlled by stars. This is especially true of impresarios and theatrical managers. —Philadelphia Record. Mrs. Ludlow—Marie, are you quite sure that the water is the right temperature for baby’s bath? Marie —Oh, yes; sure I always know, ma’am. If it’s too hot he’ll turn red, and if it’s too cold he’ll turn blue.—Vogue. Miss Bleeker—l’m so interested in our reading club. I wasn’t at first, but I never miss a meeting now. Miss Beacon—What are you reading? Miss Bleeker—Well, we-’re not reading anything at present. We’re making preparations to give a dance.—Puck. Mr. Curio (who is making a first call on the bride, hazards a passing remark to break an awkward pause)— That’s a spirited little picture over there. Mrs. Naivetl—l’m so glad you like it. It was your wedding present to us. Mr. C. (endeavoring to conceal his chagrin)—Mine! Mrs. N.—Yes; we exchanged your Apostle spoon!—Life. “I—l’d like to marry your daughter, sir,” the youth confided to the fair one’s, severe parent. “You—want —to marry—my —daughter!” he thundered. “Young man, will you be good enough to tell me what your prospects in life are?” “Well, they seemed pretty good when I talked with your daughter; but, seeing you. I’ve come to the conclusion that I haven’t any.”—Washington Star. Paying a Compliment. Dibbs (who has been waiting in his friend’s studio) —Ah! here you are at last. Your dog has been paying a good compliment to that bit of scenepainting. I had to drive the little beggar off. Dauber (agreeably surprised)—Whit was he doing? Dibbs —Oh, he mistook that river for real water, and he started lapping it! By the by, what rivet does it represent? Dauber (savagely)—River be hanged! That Isn’t a river, it’s a prairie Are. —Tld-Bits.

Canadian Canal.

The Hurontario Ship Canal Company of Canada has been incorporated by the Canadian legislature for the purpose of constructing a ship canal from Toronto, on Lake Ontario, to Georgian Bay, near Collingwood. The stock capital of she company is $65,000,000, of which $1,000,000 must be paid and 10 per cent subscribed before it has legal existence. One clause in the' frapqhisp requires that the directors must be British subjects. A number of American capitalists are interested in the scheme. It is a revival of the old project which had been advocated at intervals for many years.