Democratic Sentinel, Volume 18, Number 22, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 June 1894 — Page 6

Slje J emo cr atir Sen ti nel RENSSELAER. INDIANA. I. W. McEWEN, - • -

THE FIRST TELEGRAM

•ENT FROM WASHINGTON FIFTY YEARS AGO. Disheartening Trials of Inventor MorseHow He Secured the Aid of the Govern-ment—Fac-SimUe of the First Message Ever Transmitted. Invented in 1833. It has been fifty years since the first telegraph line was completed and the first message, “What hath God wrought?” was transmitted from Washington City to Baltimore. Prof. Samuel F. B. Morse invented the telegraph in 1832, but did not perfect it so that It could be operated for three or four years thereafter. Even then, being a poor man, he

PROFESSOR MORSE. INVENTOR OF THE TELEGRAPH.

found it impossible to put it in op-i eration. After he had exhausted every resource within his power to enlist capital in the enterprise, the thought came to Professor Morse of presenting the matter to the United States Government and asking its aid. He fully believed in the value of his invention and felt convinced that if he could only get a line in operation the telegraph would at once take a foremost position as one of the great inventions of the age. He foresaw that in a few years the lines would be extended and instantaneous communication would be established between the cities of this country and would extend over Europe, though the wild dream of ocean cables never entered his mind at that time. He reasoned that his enterprise was a proper one for Congress to aid, and finally, in 1837, he made his appeal for an appropriation of 830,000 to enable him to construct a line and put it in operation. The application to Congress was met with derision and Jeers. One Congressman moved that one-halt of the sum asked for be appropriated for experiments in mesmerism. Representative Sam Houston suggested that “Mlllerism” was equally entitled to recognition and aid from Congress, and Congressman John White, of Kentucky, who occupied the chair,

FAO-SIMILE OF THE FIRST MESSAGE.

remarked, amid great laughter, that “it would require scientific analysis to determine how far the magnetism of mesmerism was analagous to that to be employed in telegraphs.” There was but little faith in the reliability of Prof. Morse or his proposition, but finally after the bill had passed from one committee to anotbef and had been pigeon-holed time and again it did pass the lower house along toward the end of the session, but did not reach the Senate. The next session it had about the same experience, and, in fact, the bill fared along from year to year with little prospect of ever becoming a law until 1843. Yet Prof. Morse had not grown utterly discouraged. Passed at the Last Moment. The last day of the session of 1843 arrived. The telegraph bill had passed to the third reading in the Sedate, but there were 119 bills ahead of it Professor Morse gave up in despair. He had spent all his money; he had spent hia time for six years trying to obtain the desired aid from Congress, and nowall was to end in failure The case seemed hopeless. There was but four hours remaining of the session. Professor Mbrse was a sanguine man and an earnest Christian. During his struggles be had been filled with hope, and

that hope had urged him on to the consummation of his cherished object. He had done all he could, he bad exerted all the influence among his friends it waxpossible for him to exert, and so he determined that so far as he was concerned he could do no more. He went to his room in his hotel not knowing what to do—only to give up all hope. He had prayed often to God to help him, and now he thought the only chance for success was from omnipotence. He afterward told an old college friend that in this extremity he knelt down alone in his room and brought the matter in prayer to God. Then, resolving to worry no more about the matter, the inventor went to bed and slept. The next morning, March 4, 1843, while Professor Morse was yet sleep ing, a knock came at his door and awakened him. Upon going to the door he received the card of a young lady, Miss Annie G. Ellsworth, daughter of his old friend, who was then commissioner of patents. As soon as possible he dressed himself and went to the parlor to meet Miss Ellsworth, who, with great enthusiasm, gave him the news that his bill had passed.

“The Lord be praised; He has answered my prayer,” replied Professor Moise. “Last night when 1 left the Senate I thought there was no possibility of my bill being passed. I came to my room and left it all with the Lord, and here is the answer to my prayer.” Miss Ellsworth explained to the inventor that her father had remained in the Senate chamber until the last, and just five minutes before the midnight hour—the time of adjournment —he saw the opportunity and procured the help of a Senator at whose side he was sitting. This Senator moved the passage of the bill for humanity’s sake, for the nation’s sake, and It was passed. Professor Morse said to Miss Ellsworth: “You shall have the privilege of sending the first message over the first line when it is constructed.” He immediately went to work to carry out his plans, which required more than a year to complete. He put advertisements in the leading newspapers of New York, Baltimore and Washington lor bids to furnish 100 tons of lead pipe and four insulated wirea The bids were let and the materials were supplied, and the lead pipe, with two wires, was laid eighteen Inches under the ground from Mount Clare depot in Baltimore to the Relay House, a distance of nine miles. When the test was

made it was found that the electric current would not pass from one end of the line to the other. There was a leakage somewhere which could not be found, and Professor Morse was forced to abandon that plan. He then adopted that of elevating the wires on poles, and completed the two wires from Baltimore to Washington by May 24, 1844. Professor Morse had an office in the Supreme Court rooms in the Capitol. On the eventful morning the connection was completed, and after testing the current of electricity was found to be perfect and stiong. Morse and then Miss Ellsworth were at the instrument4b the office at the Capitol. Alfred Vail was at the Mount Clare depot in Baltimore. And uow Professor Morse called upon Miss Ellsworth to send the first message, which had been suggested to her by her mother: “Whit God hath wrought” —a genuine inspiration. This was flashed across the wire from Washington to Baltimore and .the first message had been sent , • V How the Earth’s Help Whs Discovered. As first put into operation the telegraph employed two to form the circuit, Professor Morse not knowing that the earth woffld compete the circuit. Amos *Keodall, then Postmaster General, is authority for

the story telling how Morse discovered that the earth was a conductor of electricity. After about ten daj«’ working a countryman came into the office in the Capitol to tell Professor Morse that one of his wires was down out at Bladensburg. Morse said he “guessed not—the wires were working all right,” and paid no attention to the information. The next day another man came in and said that if Professor Morse did not look out wagons would catch in bis wires and tear them all to pieces; that both wires were down at Bladensburg. Morse wanted to dispute the man’s statement even then, but finally determined to go out and see for himself. He found that more than 100 yards of wire had been torn out by passing wagons, and the ends were grounded. Then for the first time it dawned upon him how the earth might be of assistance in telegraphy. He connected the ends, returned to the city and ran the two wires to the ground, not knowing that one would be sufficient. Then he had two wires to Baltimore and could operate one or both. Professor Morse ordered additional instruments and put the second wire into service.

TOOK THE CAR.

How Two Englishmen Succeeded In Getting Lower Berthe. There is a decision and energy about Englishmen sometimes which arouses admiration, says the Los Angeles Herald. A case in point occurred on Monday. Two men, whose clothes, monocles and accent forcibly announced their nationality, called at the ticket office of the Southern Pacific Railroad and asked for two lower berths on the train to San Francisco. “They are all gone. You can have uppers, though,” was the response. “Oh, no; doneher know me friend is beastly ill, and he cahn’t go unless he has a lower berth. He must have one, doneher know?” The agent was sorry, but as he only had upper berths, he could do nothing. Then the spokesman insisted on seeing Mr. Crawley, and that official again explained the absence of any lower berth, only to receive the reply: “Aw, yes; but we must have a lower, doneher know. ” “All right, If you must, you must," answered the official. “They will cost you just 8269. We have an extra car here, and can put it in for you at that figure, it upper berths are not good enough.” “Awl Yes, thanks awfully.” They paid the money, the empty Pullman was coupled onto the train, and the boys at the depot say that before the cars left the Englishmen had made the porter make up every berth in the car. They said they had paid for each of the sections and they proposed to cotpe as pear as possible to getting their money’s worth.

Bonners, Reasons.

Robert Bonner went to the New York Herald one day, and asked the business manager, Mr. Elliott, if he could have a page of the Herald for next morning. Mr. Elliott said: “Certainly—two if you like." “Then I’ll take four,” said Mr. Bonner. “All right. You can have four.” “Then I’ll take eight,” was the prompt response of Mr. Bonner. After consultation with Mr. Hudson, the editor, it was arranged that Mr. Bonner was to have eight pages, but no more, as to give him more space would tax the resources of the com-posing-room. “Oh, you won’t have much to set up,” said Mr. Bonner; “I want only this six-line advertisement in small type, set in the center of each column.” It was so printed next day. It was the announcement of a new serial blood-and-thunder story by Sylvanus Cobb, Jr. The morning the advertisement appeared, Mr. Bonner’s minister rushed to his office to remonstrate with him on the extravagance and absurdity of paying forty-eight times for the insertion of the same insignificant an nouncement “Now, why did you do it?” the minister asked. “I had two reasons,” Mr. Bonner replied; “I was, not going to be bluffed by Joe Elliott, and I wanted to find out if you read the Herald. I see you do.”

Why Did He Do It?

A Southern magazine, by way ot illustrating the transitoriness of fame, says that less than twenty years after the close of the Civil War the following conversation took place at a Chicago railway station, where a soldierly passenger had just stepped from a train. “Who is that fine-looking man?" said a prominent citizen of the city to an ex-Confederate. “That is General Buckner,” was the reply. “Who is General Buckner?” “General Buckner of the Con. federate army, you know, who surrendered Fort Donelson. ” The prominent citizen seemed to be collecting his thoughts. “Oh,” he said, “he surrendered Fort Donelson, did he? What did he do that for?

Caustic Wit of an English Judge.

Lord Bowen, besides being a great Judge, was a great wit. How happy, for instance, was the amendment he proposed when the Judges were drawing up an address to the Queen on the occasion of her Majesty’s jubilee: “Conscious as we are of our shortcomings,” said the address; “conscious as we are of one another’s shortcomings,” suggested Lord Bowen. Not long ago Lord Bowen was called upon, it is said, to sit in the Admiralty Court. Upon taking his seat he asked indulgence on account of his inexperience in admiralty business. “And may there be no moaning at the bar,” he added, “when 1 put out to sea.” Sometimes his wit was very incisive—as, for Instance, when he remarked, “Truth will out, even in an affidavit.”—Westminster Gazette. Europe begins to fear that she is losing her laborers and will shortly resort to some plan of keeping them from coming to this country. Thia is the most cheering news that wt have heard in some time, and will save the United States the trouble o: erecting barriers at the ports of entry to keep out the labor that Europa worries so much about losing. Brown—-That will be a great debate between Yale and Harvard. Jones —On what subject? Brown—- “ Should the pitcher be placed back five feet?”—Puck.

WATARI KITASHIMA.

Ba L« the Fira* Ordained Japaneae rraMke* ta Amerira. The first Japanese ever regularly ordained to the Christian ministry in this country has lately been put in charge of a Unitarian parish at Vineland, N. J. The young man is Rev. Watari Kitashlma, and was born in western Japan in 1868. Hia father, who was at one time a Shinto priest, is a physician, and has charge at present of the only Christian hospital in Tokio. Watari was brought up as a Buddhist and received a good education in bis own country. While he was

WATARI KITASHIMA.

so occupied his father was baptized and allied himself with the Presbyterian Church. Watari also was baptized and became a Presbyterian and resolved to devote himself to the ministry of that body. He determined to come to America and so, at the age of 16, with scarcely any knowledge of English and with no relatives or friends here, he set forth for America. He landed at San Francisco and soon made friends there. He also entered a school there and continued his studies, during the progress of which he became a Unitarian. Watari soon announced himself as a candidate for the Unitarian ministry and went to Allegheny College. Meadville. Pa., in preparation for this post. Later he attended the Harvard Divinity School, whence he was graduated last year. While there he preached ninety-six times and lectured sixty throughout New England. He then began preaching at Shirley, Mass., and a short time since was ordained and became pastor at Vineland.

BUENOS AYRES TO CHICAGO.

The Long Pedestrian Trip of Two Hardy Hungarians. Two adventure-loving Hungarians —Antonio Blim and Louis Budinich —early in August, 1892, started to walk from Buenos Ayres to Chicago. They propose to write a book when they have completed their long pedestrian trip, recounting not only their experiences on the journey, but giving as well data of the countries through which they shall have passed, that they hope will prove of value

ON THEIR LONG WALK.

to prospective settlers in the southern countries. They have recently reached Panama, where they were made much of by certain high off!-, cials, who aided them in raising a considerable sum of money to continue their journey, for their funds had become sadly depleted. Leaving Buencs Ayres, Blim and Budinich traveled first to Bolivia, stopping at the chief points of interest on the way. From Bolivia they journeyed up through Peru, Ecuador, and Colombia. Thus far they have traveled 8,900 kilometers. Much of the country through which they have passed is practically uninhabited, and they have been exposed to all manner of hardships. The accompanying illustrations show them in their walking outfit.

TRICKS OF THE TRADES.

How to “Deacon” Apples at Both Ends of the Market Barrels. “Apples are apples this year,” remarked Uncle Dave, as the four oldtimers again met to crack chestnuts. “Yes, boys, dear is the word. 1 priced a barrel of Baldwins this morning, and $4 was asked. I bought the barrel, and had it sent to the house. It was a stiff price, but they were good apples.” “How do you know that?” queried cld Bob. “Why, I had the man open the barrel, and could see myself.” “Still, the barrel may have been deaconed,” remarked old Bob. “‘Deaconed,’” repeated Uncle Dave; “what does that mean?” “I’ll tell you,” said old Bob. “In preparing and putting up apples for market, the practice of ‘deaconing,’ as it is called, is very extensively followed, that it means the topping off of a barrel of the fruit with the best and largest specimens. -It is said the term ‘deaconing’ originated in , the fact that some one holding the office of deacon in some church somewhere in New England had distinguished himself by adopting this system in putting >ip his apples for market. “At first the practice was to ‘deacon’ the apples at one end of the barrel only, but an incident led to* an improvement A dealer in a Maine town, who understood the trick, at one time sold a barrel of apples to a ; customer and lecommended them as j the choicest grown. In due time ! the barrel was opened and found to : contain a very inferior quality; where- I upon the customer, feeling that he I had been imposid upon, made bom-i

pliint to the seller, who very coolly observed that he must have opened the barrel at the wrong end. This experience, however, made him more careful in putting up his apples. Instead of Meaconing’ the barrels at one end he “deaconed’ them at both ends. ” —Boston Herald.

BESIDE MARBLE FRONTS.

I In Exclaalva Astor Stroet an “Unemployed* Founds a Plebeian Ingrain. In this moving and spring cleaning time grounds on which carpet can be beaten are quoted high on domestic exchanges and their valuA is sure to [ be as far above par as is Yerkes’ street railway stock in parts of the city where houses are thick. It was in one of these parts the other day that one of the “unemployed” who had been hired for the occasion by a family that was wrapping up its penates and other bric-a-brac in burlap, preparatory to a shift in flats, went forth looking for a bit of grass on which to pound an ingrain. In fact, it was in the most exclusive section of the North Side. On Astor street the “unemployed” spied a vacant lot. He made for it and presently his stout three feet of rubber hose, which be had nailed to a broom handle, was raising a cloud of dust. It floated lazily towards the windows of the two splendid mansions that walled the grass plot in on either side. “Whose carpet are you beating?” was the testy query that was shortly pelted down on the pounder. “Oh, it’s one I’ve got a job to clean” he replied with meek indifference. This was too much for the irate questioner. “That land is outs,” she said, with the hauteur of Clara Vere de Vere, “and don’t you bring another carpet there to beat. ” “No, I won’t, but I guess I’ll finish this one,” and the rubber hose continued its plebeian thud in the aristocratic street until the carpet had yielded up its dust. Then the “unemployed" took his renovated burden and went back to the stuffy flat. As he dropped the carpet to the floor he said, in answer to a question as to where he had given it an airing: “Oh, over there on Astor, between a couple of marble fronts.

A Dog’s Career.

Recently there died in Boston, and was “buried at sea” with something like funeral honors, a dog who had lived a useful life, as well as an extremely long one for his kind. His name—a very inappropriate one, for he seems to have been a dog of staid habits and serious life was Sport; and he was believed to be twenty-five yea: s old when he died. He was known to be more than twenty, for it was twenty years ago when he a large bull-terrier, who looked then as if he might be an old dog was found wandering about T Wharf in Boston. He seemed to be a friendly fellow, and his appearance must have been favorable, for several men who belonged to a sailing craft tried to coax him aboard their vessels, and several storekeepers also offered to adopt him. He declined the advances of all save the men who were in the employ of the Sprague Towboat Company, which had an office on the wharf. To the concern he steadfastly attached himself, and was adopted by the crew of the tugboat Chatterton. About half his time he spent on board this tug, and the rest of it about the company’s office. It was here that he developed his most useful trait. About the company's premises many cans of oil were kept, and for this, as well as for other reasons, smoking was forbidden. Nevertheless, not infrequently employes of the tugs and others came smoking about the premises. Sport early learned what the rule was, and made it his business to see that it was not transgressed. Whenever a man entered the office with a pipe or a cigar, Sport went at once to him, followed him about watchfully, and if he approached the oiltanks, he would seize him by the trousers’ leg, growling at the same time. This always had the effect to stop the smoking. Sport was a large terrier, weighing fifty-six pounds, and as the boatmen said, “had a head like an anvil.” He never hurt any one, but had been known to give a smoker a slight pinch in the leg if he did not desist from his smoking. The men placed his body in a stout box, weighted with grate bars. A small flag was tacked to the box. Then the tug steamed with the box a distance of ten miles outside the harbor, and there the coffin was slid off the gangplank into the depths of the ocean.

The Bomb Brougham.

The bomb brougham is a weird vehicle which has been seen very frequently of late in the streets of the French metropolis. When an infernal machine is discovered the bomb brougham is sent for and the dangerous concern gingerly deposited within it. It is then driven off to the last home of the anarchists’ abortive explosives. The vehicle has a hooded seat and a body well detached from it, hung on a perfect system of springs. In fact, no monarch ever traveled in greater comfort than does the unexploded bomb. It is considered safe to the utmost degree, and its actual seat in this array of rubber and delicate springs is such that not the least Jolt or agitation can by any possibility upset its uncertain temper. An ambling and ancient horse draws the bomb brougham, and it is driven by a little, middle-aged hero who was once in the artillery. In transporting this class of fare no little caution is necessary. Lonely streets are chosen for the bomb’s journey; the police know that vehicle when they see it and signal to other vehicles to keep out of the way, for a collision with the bomb brougham might scatter a deal of discomfort for everybody concerned.

Rare Book.

It is reported, notes the Critic, that a copy, in excellent condition,of Poe’s “Tamerlane” (1827), one of tho rarest books in the world, has recently been discovered and is held at sl,625. It is said to have been picked up in a second-hand bookstore in Boston sixty years ago, and to have remained in the possession of the purchaser ever since. It Is no disgrace to wear good clothes, provided they are paid for.

IOWA SOLDIERS’ MONUMENT.

Impoaln* Granite Shaft to Bo Crested In Dm Moinee at a Com of •160.000. Governor Jackson, D. N. Richardson and Mrs. Cora C. Weed visited Chicago recently to inspect the models for lowa’s monument to her soldiers and sailors. The models were pronounced satisfactory tn every respect, and the work will now be pushed forward as rapidly as possible. The monument is to be 133 feet high. It is an imposing gray granite shaft, surrounded by heroic bronze figures. At the base of the monument are four figures, each eight feet high, representing soldiers of the navy, infantry, artillery and cavalry. The naval figure represents a sailor swinging back a flag, which sways behind his athletic frame. The Infantryman is a young soldier, apparently just home from the war, and crowred with a laupel wreath. The cavalryman bears an upraised sword, entwined with flowers. The artilleryman, with cap doffed, holds a swab aloft On one side of the base a statue of lowa appears. The figure represents a young mother, with hands clasped to her breast. The coat of arms of the State and other emblems are appropriately arranged about the figure. The figure History, unrolling the blank scroll, appears on

SOLDIERS MONUMENT FOR IOWA.

the opposite side of the monument. Above these groups and surrounding the base of the shaft proper are four equestrian figures, Generals Dodge, Crocker, Curtis and Corse. Under the gables of the base are figures of Generals Belknap, Hatch and Winslow, the fourth space being reserved for the coat of arms of the State. There are two bas-reliefs on the base of the monument, one portraying the battle of Fort Donelson and the other the battle of Shiloh. About this base are arranged thirtytwo portrait medallions of lowa officers. These have not yet been selected. The granite shaft is ten feet in diameter. At the base it is sixty feet. Above all a heroic figure of Peace, twenty-two reet high is to be raised. This figure rests on a capital twelve feet high and thirteen feet wide.

CROSSED THE OCEAN 600 TIMES.

The Record of a Canard Captain Who Has Never Lost a Life. Thirty-seven years ago Captain William H. P. Hains entered the service of the Cunard Steamship Company, and except that his bushy hair and luxuriant Dundreary whiskers are now pure white there doesn’t

CAPTAIN WILLIAM H. P. HAINS.

peem to be much change in his appearance from that day to this. He has just passed his 70th birthday and has been a sailor since 1838. In the course of bis long career as a master mariner he has never lost a life; indeed, it might almost be said that no ship which he commanded ever met with a mishap worth more than incidental mention in the log. Capt. Hains has crossed the Atlantic 600 times.

Old Iron.

Prince Bismarck is unlike a great many of the world’s men of force in possessing a strong sense of humor. He seldom appears in public without leaving behind him, as it were, a good joke, not infrequently at his own expense. During his recent visit to Berlin, in the course of which he met od most affectionate terms the Emperot William, with whom he had long been at variance, a member of the court asked him how he had stood the journey. “Admirably,” said the invalid prince. “Ah,” said the courier, wishing to flatter him, “you aie indeed a man of iron!” “Iron, eh?” rejoined Bismarck; •well, perhaps; but the iron, you must admit, has got pretty badly rusted! ”

What of It?

A German physiologist who devoted himself with great patience to the counting of the hairs on different heads, to ascertain the average number on a human head, found that, taking four heads of equal weight, the number qf hairs, according to color, was as follows: Red, 90,000, black, 103,000; brown, 109,000; fair; 140.0U0. One of the belles of Waterbury has joined the Salvation army. This will effectually wind up her Waterbury social career.

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. Jokes and Jokelet* that Ara Supposed U Have Been Recently Born—Sayings and Doing* that Are Odd. Curioaa. and Laughable—The Week's Humor. Let Us AU Laugh. One must first learn to think to stop before he can stop to think.— Galveston News. Little Girl—“ You bad cat, where’s my bird?” Cat—“Oh, he’s just gone inside. ’—Life. Someone who believes that “brevity is the soul of wit” writes: “Don’t eat stale Q-cumbers. They’ll W un " Tid-Blts. Paddy’s latest feat was to pawn his gun, preparatory to a day’s shooting, in order to buy cartridges.—London Truth. _ This is the season when the man who has been at peace all winter has a falling out with his hammock— Atchison Globe. No smile is so genuine as that of the hen which, perched on the fence, watches the man next door making his spring garden.—Yonkers Statesman.

When you go in to collect a bill, the man at the counter is less apt to inquire about the health of your family than when you go in to pay one. Atchison Globe. Judge Guffey—What passed between yourself and the complainant? O’Brien—l think, sor, a half-a-dozen bricks and a piece of pavin’ stone.— Raymond’s Monthly. Smythe—Do the hard times affect your business? Landlady (theatrical boarding-house)—Not at all; my boarders wouldn’t pay anyhow.— Raymond’s Monthly. Wife (at party)—That decollete waist of Mrs. Shapely fits her perfectly, doesn’t it? Husband (looking intently)—lt would if there were enough of it—Judge. From the barracks: Sergeant—On account of two short days of arrest that fellow makes a face like a zebra whose stripes have been washed away.—Fliegende Blaetter. “Did you tender your resignation?” said a man to an ex-officeholder. “I resigned by request, sir, but there was nothing tender about it. It was tough.”—Pittsburg Chronicle. The razor-toed shoe is the proper thing in footwear just now. Unfortunately, however, the prices are such that a man is liable to get strapped in buying a pair—Buffalo Courier. “What is Congress talking about now, dear?” said Mrs. Dukane to her husband, who was reading the paper. “About all the time, love,” was the comprehensive reply.—Pittsburg (Pa.) Chronicle. She—“l tell you, it won’t be long till we have our rights. ” He—“Oh, you are one of those revolting women, are you?” “Sir-r-r!” “Er—l mean you are in revolt, don’t you see?”— Indianapolis Journal. Mr. Grumpps—What Idiotic things they do print on the women’s page of this newspaper! Mrs. Grumpps— Yes, I wish they would discharge the fellow and put a woman in charge of it.—New Yoik Weekly. Mr. Casey (Aiderman) —Phwat do yez t’ink of these refarm clubs? Officer Klubbum (twirling his baton) — Well, they’re lighter to handle. But I t’ink ’twas wrong to do away wid der night-stick.—Puck. Parent—“ Aren’t you ashamed, daughter, to be seen in such a low dress?” Daughter—“ Why, papa, you said yourself that you wanted me to cut down in my clothes while the times were so hard.”—Judge. Old woman—l am sorry to hear little boys use such bad language. Have you thought what becomes of little boys who use bad language? Street urchin Yes. Dey become hoss-car drivers.—Brooklyn Life. Demonstrator (in clinic) —“You will notice that the subject’s right leg is longer than his left, which causes him to limb. Now, what do you do in such a case?” Bright Student—“l’d limp, too.”—Philadelphia Record. “Well, Mary, what did you think of the pictures at the Academy?” “Oh, mum, there was a picture there called ‘Two Dogs,after Landseer,’ but I looked at it for nearly half an hour and I couldn’t see no Landseer.”— Spare Moments. Managing Editor—“ Where’s our foreign letter?” City Editor—“l’m just going to send the boy up to Mrs. Hasher’s boarding house to get the copy.” Managing Editor—“ All right. Tell him to come back on the Broadway road with it. I want it headed ‘By Cable. ’ ” —Puck. Kirby Stone Good heavens! Haven’t you enough ball dresses now, without buying any more? Mrs. Stone—Yes, my dear, for ordinary occasions. But this is to be a “Hard Times” party, and will require something out of the usual. A couple of hundred will do, I think.—Puck. “Remember, witness,” sharply exclaimed the attorney for the defense, “you are on oaJh!” “There ain’t no danger of my furgettin’ it,” replied the witness. “I’m tellin’ the truth fur nothin’, when I could have made $4 by lyin’ fur your side of the case, an’ you know it.”—Chicago Tribune. Mrs. Chatt—l’m so sorry you hurt your fingers, Johnny. How was it the cracker went off in your hand? Little Johnny—lt was alidad’s iault. He was coming up the street, and I was going to drop it out of the window on his head, but he walked so slow that the thing went off before he got underneath the window.— Tid-Bits.

Remarkably Considerate.

A Cincinnati newspaper reports a striking manifestation of amiability on the part of a little maiden of that city. A beautiful new doll had just been given her, and as she sat holding it and singing to it, noticed that the old one,was not in sight. “What have you done with Beatrice?” asked the mother. “I’ve put her away,” answered the little giW. “If she saw me loving my new baby it might hurt her feelings."