Democratic Sentinel, Volume 18, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 June 1894 — ANCIENT HISTORY. [ARTICLE]

ANCIENT HISTORY.

The Chicago Evening News Tells of the Rise of St. Coals. St. Louis now claims a population of 600,000, which, if supported by figures, makes the Missouri metropolis the fifth in size of the large cities of ttab United States. St. Louis was founded in the year 3001 B. C. by a protoplasm who was off his feed and didn’t care what he did. Having started the place, however, he didn’t feel like leaving and did not leave until he discovered that it was no place for a live, go-ahead proto—and he left. As nothing was ever heard of him afterward, it is believed by eminent authorities that he went up into the Ozark hills and kicked himself to death for having boomed such a town. About the twentieth century, B. C. the late Mr. Chedorlaomer made an expedition to St Louis and up to the day of his death he regretted it. In his memoirs he says: “Of all the dead, past-due burgs that I ever honored with my presence St. Louis takes the cheese. ” Mr. Chedorlaomer, was a close observer and knew what he was talking about The next person of note to visit the town was Shalmaneser in the year 701 B. C. He mistook it for a national cemetery and did not stop off, but proceeded on to Keokuk, lowa. The town wabbled on with indifferent success until William the Conqueror’s time, when some live business man built a morgue and then it began to grow. Abe Slupsky’s discovery of the Mississippi in 1421 gave'the town a boom and the census of J 4 26 gives it a population of 105. When it is recalled that only 4,500 years before all that there was of St. Louis was a protoplasm this rapid growth is fraught with interest. During the last t>oo years its progress has been a trifle slow but steady. Mr. Chedorlaomer would scarcely recognize the St. Louis of to-day. It has several business blocks, a postoffice and a railroad lands freight and passengers within walking distance of the town pump. Travelers between the north and south stop off for luDch. In business it is retrospective.