Democratic Sentinel, Volume 18, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 June 1894 — BROTHER GARDNER EXPLAINS. [ARTICLE]

BROTHER GARDNER EXPLAINS.

The Limekiln Club and Its Jegtff Celebrated Motto. “Sense de last mootin',” said Brother Gardner, as he arose with a letter in his hand, “I hev redfeived dls yere epistle from de State department of Alabama axin’ if dia Limekiln Club has a motto, an' It wasn’t ober two days ago dat one of our moas’ prominent members put de same queshun. Of co’se we her a motto! 'Way back in de dim past, when dis club numbered only seben pussons and a dawg, we invented an’ adopted a motto an’ hev stuck to it eber sense. We doan’ parade it befo' de public on ebery possible occashun, but it hangs up in de library, whar all members kin see it, an’ I must confess surprise dat an ole member like Sir Isaac Walpole should be in doubt about It. De keeper of de seal will bring in de motto an' display it from de platform.” Lord Cornwallis Johnson, who holds the office of keeper, retired to the library and presently returned with the banner, on which was emblazoned the motto as follows: “Dar am no doubt some among ye,” resumed the president, “who doan’ exactly understand the me&oin' of dem words, which ar’ mostly Latin. Ad vicum bonis has four meanin’s—one for each season of de y’ar. In de Spring It. moans, ‘Hunt fur roots an' put in some sulphur an’ make yo'self a tonic.’ In de Summer it means, ‘Doan’ swaller de seeds of a watermillyon wldout chawin.’ In de Fall it means, ‘Whar yo’ gwine to git yo’r meat?’ an’ in de Winter It means, ‘Nobody can be real happy widout chilblains.' My idea In adoptin' dat motto was to git sunthin’ to kiver de hull ground an’ be wuth de money, an’ up to de present time I hain’t heard do fault found wid it. I will tako advantage of dis occashun to say dat our mottoes fur 1894 am now printed an’ ready to nail up, an’ will be in place befo’ de next mootin'. 1 will read dein, as follows, an’ in a loud voice: “Honesty am de best policy, an' dawgs not allowed in de hall 'cept on extra cold nights. “Truth must prevail, but de liar seems to git along about as well aa anybody else. “In union dar am strength, an" roastin’ cheese on de stove am positively forbidden. "Seok to gain de respect of yo’r feller men but always charge at least 6 per cent, interest when yo’ lend money. “I)o not put off till to-morrow what yo’ kin do to-day, an’ in case of fire in Paradise hall let the president git out fust. “Respect ole alge, an’ any pusson breakin’ a pane of glasH In any of da windows will bo expected to promptly settle for de same wldin HO dayß. “Rather than speak ovil do not speak at all, an’ any money found oa de floor arter do meetin’ adjourn* should be handed to the treasurer for safe keepin.' “Kind words are like dewdrops onde thirsty meadow, but no member of dls club should agree to whitewash a kitchen ceilin’ fur less dan half * dollar.

“De above mottoes ar’ all we shall need fur de cornin’ ya'r,” said Brother Gardner as he laid them aside, “an' dey won’t be put up wid de ideah of doin’ any pertickler good. All I shall ask of yo’ is to remember de motto of de club. Dar was a tiro* when I believed in mottoee. I believed dat de cooper who hung up in his shop de motto, ‘lt ar' better to b» honored dan to be rich,’ orter to b* patronized above all odders. I give nim an order fur two cider bar’ls, an*' both leaked, an’ he lied about it. I believed dat de shoemaker who put. up de motto, ‘lf I cannot be rich. I’ll be honest,’ was de man to mak«< me a pa’r of butes. Ho made ’em* an’ I nebber had a pooror pa’r. He not only put in de cheapest leather, but he left out half de pegs when peg* war only five cents a quart. A good many y’ars ago, when a rag ca®» pet an' a set of cain chairs war considered good 'nuff for anybody’s parlor, an’ when sassafras tea and barley could be found qn de tables of dorich, mottoes war all right. Dey seemed to make de meat go furdec an’ de apples sass to taste better. But in dls day an’ aige, when eberybody goes around wid a chip on hi» shoulder an' a dollar in his pocket, mottoes doan’ count. Only yesterday I was in a house wid ‘God Bless Our Home' ober de doah, ‘Love One Another’ ober a second, an’ ‘ Keep Yo'r Heart Pure’ ober *a third. De husband had run away wid de hired gal, de wife had sot de house afire to git de Insurance on do furnichure, an' de chill’en war pulling hair an' torturin’ de fam’ly cat, Some of yo' wondered why I moved last Fall. It was bekase a fam’ly wid a motto moved in next doah. Dey put up do motto of “Love Thy Neighbor so Thyself,’ an’ it wasn’t a week beforo I missed half a cord of wood an’ fur of my fattest chickens. It was only a question of time, if dey stuck to dat motto, when dey would git de rest of de chickens an’ clean out my cellar, an' so I moved away an’ got alongside a man who hasn’t eben a Gospel hymn book in de house. Let us now ad vicum bonis to our homes.'* —[New York Recorder.