Democratic Sentinel, Volume 18, Number 3, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 February 1894 — Page 6

I• ' t'* S ■ - ' , BDf Jlf mocratirSf nliiif I RENSSELAER, INDIANA. 1. W. McEWEN, ... Publishxr.

OLD-TIME SCHOOLS.

HOW GRANDFATHERS’ IDEAS WERE TAUGHT TO SHOOT. Hie Temple* of Learning Sixty Tears Ago —The Guides Up the Hill of Knowledge—His Rod and HU Spelling-Book-Former Not Spared. The Old Teacher. r To the majority of young people of the pretent generation the old-time school and schoolmaster are absolutely unknown,says the St. Louis Globe-Dem-ocrat. The present system of education is, it is true, an evolution, but the process has been so rapid that the well-lighted, well-warmed and every way comfortable and convenient t chcol-roomcf-lhe present has little resemblance to the loghouse, with its one room and utter absence of ct mforj,, from which the school of to-dav may be said to have sprung. During the first third of this century school houses were tolerably abundant, but as the majority of the people lived in no great degree of comfort, they did not deem it necessary to provide their children with any sunerfluities. nor to establish the school in any better edifice than that owned by the majority of those who lived in the district and patronized its educational establishment. Generally, therefore, the district school house was of logs, or, at best, of boards, and built by the common labor of the community. But then, as now, what was everybody’s business was nobody’s business, and as the whole district was interested in keeping the school house in repair, nobody did # the work, and in course of time, and generally no ‘ long time at that, it fell into a condition not far removed from ruinous. The ’’master,” being employed cnly by the term, and feeling no particular interest in the building, generally forbore to complain, lest his patrons should conceive that he was “stuck up,” so made only such repairs as were absolutely neceseary. When a log rolled away, leaving a large hole in the wall, he and some older boys filled it with mud; if the house were frame, and a board

cracked or a knot fell out, he nailed a bit of board from the end of a flourbarrel, or a barrel-stave, or a clapboard, or a shingle over the aperture to keep out the wind during his term of office. When the log that had for a generation done duty as a step gave out he shoved a large stone into position, and *»thuß, little by little, the house got old and shabby." Its grounds were always spacious, for the pupils generally had all outdoors to play in, there being, as a rule, no inclosing fence, a fact always greatly to the advantage of strolling swine, that, when the house had a floor, as it sometimes had, formed a comfortable nest underneath for the sake of the shelter and warmth, and often, by their “noisy disputes as to which should have the inside place in the pile, disturbed what little pretense of order existed among the pupils. The school house was located as near as possible to the center of the district, but always close to a spring, as fresh water was a necessity, for no toper that ever beat a barkeeper out of the price of a drink ever sported a thirst half so vigorous as that which existed among

THE FAVORITE PUPIL.

the pupils of a district school on a warm spring afternoon, and two of the boys "were always daily deputed to make trips to the spring for water. In the winter time wood was a necessity equally great. It was supplied by the

patrons of the school, each taking his tarn in sending round a load which, in the form of cordwood, was dumped on the ground immediately behind the temple of knowledge. It was chopped Into sticks of convenient length by the big boys and carried in by those of less

advancement, a roaring fire being deemed one of the necessities of educational progress. And so it was; for most of the pupils were compelled to walk a considerable distance in order | take their daily dose of bircli and edu- | tion, and much direct warmth was needed. No anthracite stove for them, with its slow, even radiation; what they wanted was a heat that was almost enough to form a “crackling" on one-half of their bodies, and if, at the same time, the other half was froezing, that fact was regarded as a dispensation of Providence against which there was no remedy. When the master was a man he was

often some farmer’s son of the neighborhood who, having ambition above that of his fellows, had determined to “read law 7 ’ or to study medicine, and resorted to school teaching for the purpose of suporting himself until fitted for the practice of his profession. Women teachers were not in favor, there being a prevalent idea that they were not strong enough to thrash the boys as the boys ought to be thrashed, and so were relegated to the teaching

WATER FOR THE SCHOOL

of summer terms, which were attended only by little boys whoso big brothers were at work on the farm, and little girls whose oldor sisters were at home helping their mothers in the housework. The main reliance of the neighborhood in an educational line, however, was some old fellow who had come down from a former generation as a teacher, and who, like Goldsmith's pedagogue, with words of learned length and thundering sound, could amaze even the old farmers of the neighborhood and cause them to

assign him a place of honor onlv a little* lower than tnat reserved tor the circuit preacher, who, once or twice a month, came round to eat their chicken and administer a dose of gospel. These hoary guides up the hill of science were always highly honored for their ability to preserve order in their educational institutions, which they did by an unsparing use of the birch. “Spare the rod and spoil the child" was a maxim forever on their lips, and no child ever spoiled on their hands for want of its observance.

A SEVERE PUNISHMENT.

A thrashpole about six feet long stood constantly in the corner of the room to be appealed to in extreme cases, but for ready usd; a lighter weapon was always in hand. They were choice in selection. Peach tree switches were rejected as being too

Kmbsr: a good stout birch, or In default of it, a plum switch, would coll around the legs of the offender and extract the most ear-splitting veils and howls, without, leaving much impression on the cuticule. This instrument of torture was applied on any provocation at all. on the theory that anvthing the youngster did deserved a thrashing, and that if -he had not done anything he might at any moment do something and-thus deserved,*on general principles. to be trounced anyhow. Thrashing, therefore, was his main hold for securing not only the respect and ol>edience but also the affectionate regard of his pupils, but in facetious

ABCED ARIANS.

moments he would sometime# devise milder punishments, such as standing in the corner, sending a boy to sit among the girls, or a girl to sit among the boys, a proceeding that was certain to cause the sheepish sufferer much anguish of mind and resulted in hiding the face behind the upraised elbow, a gesture that hasonot yet passed out of use in our schools. There were no “frills ’ on the old pedagogue’s learning. He taught the three Rs —reading, writing and arith-metic-—"otherwise and more frequently known as “ciphering.” In the early days of this century, artificial appliances for educational purposes were few in number, and if every two of the younger pupils, the abecedarians, as they were called, had a spelling book, the supply was deemod quite adequate. Spelling was done by a primitive method—a distinction was made between the capitals and the small letters, the former being designated as “big.” In spelling Aaron, for example, the

pupil was taught to say “Big A, little a, r-o-n, ron, Aaron.” The final letter of the alphabet was designated as izzard, sometimes contracted to zed. When a vowel of itself constituted a syllable that fact was stated in the .spelling, according to the formula, “a,

TOEING THE MARK.

by itself, a,” but rapidity of pronunciation and the natural course of abbreviation soon shortened this to “a bissel pha,” so that in spelling acre, for example.” the general oft'oet would bo, “a bissel pha, c-r e, ker, acre. ” In over, this performance would be varied to “O bissel pho, v-e-r, over.” The crowning event of the day was the spelling class, participated in by all the members of the school save the smallest. In this field parade of his force, the old schoolmaster lined up all his pupils, male and female, causing them to toe the mark made on the clap-boards composing the floor. This was for the purpose of securing discipline, and with a long wand in hand he would zealously watch the line while giving out the words to be spelled, occasionally administering a smart tap to an offending toe that transgressed by crossing the limit. The words were “given out” from the spelling-book or dictionary, if the teacher had one, and were >spelled in turn by the pupils, who went up or down according to their success in spelling. Rigid rules of procedure were laid down. The word must be pronounced clearly after tne master had given it out, and each syllable must be religiously repeated, with idiotic precision, after it had been spelled. Not only so, but with each, every preceding syllable must also be conjoined or the result would be a “miss,” no matter whether the word had been correctly spelled or not; Thus, “Constantinople, C-o-n Con.s-t-a-rr stan, Constan, t-i ti, Constant!, n-o no, Constantino, p-l-e pie, Constantinople!” The competition incited by these spelling matches was very hot, and as there was usually some small incitement besides in the way of honorary mention or occasionally over a prize at the close of the term, the interest was generally intense.

“A HARD SUM”

Arithmetic was "Wnght frofii one boot:, the teacher’s. ..Each pupil who had advanced so far ‘provided himself with a half quire of common letter paper. This was folded in half and sewed at home by one of sisters. The teacher announced the rule under which the e camples, or “sums" as they were called, were to-be performed, and each pupil w tote thefwords as directed by the master. After the rule had been clearly written at the top of a page the “sutos* under that rule were also given out ana in turn placed in the manufactures book.' At the conclusion of the term each pupil thus had his own arithmetic, that 1 is, as far as he had gone, for classification was almost unknown, and in a'nchool of twenty pupils forty classes were bv no means uncommon W riting was done from a copy set by the master, the writing or copy books being of the same nature a* the arithmetic folios. The home flock of geese was plundered for pens, and when the feathers were brought to the school by the pupils, they were manufactured into pen# by the ready knife of the master, before whom always lay a pile of pens that “would not write,” and consequently needed immediate attention. Progress in “ciphering” seldom went furth or than the rule of three, and the opiijioh among scholars as to the merits of arithmetic in general was very aptly expressed by a bit of doggerel: ,v.

Multiplication Sf a vexation. Division is as bad; The Rule of Thiee It puzzles me, And practice makes me mad. The school day began when the master got to the htiuse in the morning and ended at about “twq hours by sun,” in order that the bovs might have time to get home, feed the stock, water the horses, ~ond milk before night. “Turning out the master” was practiced even in better communities, as a recognized method of obtaining a holiday, ar.d on such occasions the oldest boys went early to school, entered and barred the door against the pedagogue until he made.terms. The old-time mqtba’ls were rough and ready, and the people of the present smile at their simplicity, but they made sturdy inen and women, who knew little l of books, but had an immense stock of health and self-reliance. They had a small supply of manners, too, for in many of these schools the teacher made a specialty of deportment, and, every boy as be left the school for pome was expected to turn round in the door, make a bow to the teacher, say “Sarvent, sir;” make another to the pupils, with “Sarvent, ladies and gentlemen. ” after which he took his departure. Besides, the “boarding round” done by the master brought hijn in contact with most of the families of the district, and gave them the benefit of hipjsuperior wisdom and culture. The old school is supposed to. Lave passed away, and the old teacher'to have become extinct, but the supposition is far from correct, for in many country districts of the West and South tho conditions of educational life are by no means so far removed from what "has been described but the people would recognize the picturOpfind there are many still young who could claim the oldtime school as identical, in most particulars, with that in which their young ideas were first taught to shoot.

THE NEWSPAPER WOMAN.

She Hag to Work Faithfully, and la Judged by Her Merita. It has been loosiejy estimated that there are several thousand newspaper women in this country. In reality there are less than two hundred and fifty, says Lippincott’s Magazine. There is a distinction between newspaper writing and writing for the newspapers; and the young lady who “does a little spacework” in the intervals of her social or business engagements was not considered in the Compilation of these statistics. The two hundred and fifty writers who have been considered are newspaper women in the best sense or the word. They hold staff positions on journals of good standing, or they have had experience which fits them for such positions; they have learned to recognize news when they hear it, and they know how to present it to the public in the most attractive form; they can judge of its comparative value and the amount of space it should be, given in a newspaper; they can edit their own copy, if necessary; they know something about the composing-room, and can distinguish between a form and a piece of type; ,J they have learned why it is not a §heer waste of material to write on but one side of their paper;“they know that a newspaper office is not a drawing-room, and that they cannot expect draw-ing-room manners ,in it; they have learned that the highest compliment an editor can pajr his woman “associate is to treat hqr as if she were a man, promptly reprimanding her for a blunder and giving her a word of praise for good work —if he happens to think of it. ( . 'Last and most important point o{ all, these women earn their living with their pens. jThis is the crucial

test. Luck, pluck and influence may keep one afloat for a few months, but the editors--4)f to-day are not kuowingly buying bad copy. If one particular editor be disposed to overlook the chalming Miss Blank’s errors of fact and grammar, the copy readers, the , associate editors, and the great power behind the throne will soon throw a search light upon them whioh can have but one result. Miss Blank’s work must stand on its merits. In no other profession does she have so many and such merciless erijics.

Signal Whistles.

The inhabitants of Gomera, one of the Canary Islands, have evolved a whistling code by which they converse with each other at a distance. Each syllable has its own appropriate tone. The whistler uses both Angers and lips, and it is/asserted that communication canyfbe kept up at a mile’s distance. , Whistling is confined to Gomera Island and is quite unknown to therrest of the group. The adoption ofbthis mode of carrying on conversation is due to the I geological formation of the island, as it is intersected by numerous gullies and ravines. As there are no' bridges across these, intercourse between neighbors is often rendered difficult. A map living within a stone’s throw of Another may have to go many miles round to make a call upon his neighbor, and the Inconvenience of this led the people to i cultivate this manner of communicating with each other. “So your son John is courting a woman at last! I’m afraid, however, that he’ll be too bashful to propose' to her.” “He won’t need to propose; ! she’s a widow. VyHew York Press.

INDIANA INCIDENTS.

SOBER OR STARTLING, FAITHFULLY RECORDED. . An Interesting Summary of the More Important Doings of Our Neighbors-Wed-dingi and Deaths—Crimes, Casualties and General News Notes. Condensed State News. Geo. T. Ogden, one of the oldest and best known citizens of Kokomo, is dead. The work on the immense new tin plate works at Elwood, will begin February 1. The Big Four round house, Martinsville, was destroyed by tire, together with a locomotive. Lots *IO,OOO.

Harry Kern, the 7-year-old sen of Allie Kern, of Muucic, is suffering from blood poison contracted from the bite of a rat on his hand. Chesterton citizens were swindled by a stranger who claimed he wanted to purchase some land. He got rid of several counterfeit bills that were changed by his victims. The libel suit for $5,000 damages against the South Bend Tribune brought by O. D. Myers, a barber, was decided in favor of the defendant. The Tribune published a statement that Charles Garwood had been poisoned in Myers’ shop by the use of a lotion. At Muncie, a Walnut street electric car struck Mrs. William Patterson, wife of the Western Union telegraph office. She was in feeble health, and is believed to be fatally injured. She was knocked several feet and was picked up unconscious. She was going home from church, and two other women with her had a narrow escape. John Riplinger, foreman ior W. E. Grey, the bridge contractor, was instantly killed at Franklin, while unloading a derrick at Mr. Grey’s stoneyard, near the junction. The timbers were very heavy and in lifting them from the wagon, Mr. Riplinger was overcome by the weight and the derrick fell on him. The dead man’s home was at North Vernon, where he had a wife and six children. Judge Koons, of the Delaware Circuit Court, has decided that the Barrett law, enabling street improvements to be made with a series of ten years in which to pay the assessments if over SSO, is constitutional. The question was tried on complaint of the Heekin Land Syndicate of Cincinnati, the syndicate alleging that the class legislation part ot the law made it unconstitutional. By. the decision Muncie will get a large sum of money due from this source. *

George Parent, a farmer residing near Union City, burned up $360 the other day. He has the renting of the Dr. James farm and had iust sold the grain raised the past season. He was in A 1 Lamport's grain office, counting the money and preparing to send it to Mrs. Dr. James at Marshall, 111. The money was lying on a table and after doing some figuring on a piece ot paper he gathered it up and threw it in the stove. Upon returning to the desk he discovered the money gone and went to the stove only in time to see it consumed in ashes. Five Burglars made a raid on the Panhandle depot at Crown Point the other night, The night operator,Harry Pilling, was hound and tied fast in front of two revolvers and relieved of sls. They then drilled three holes in the safe and exploded powder in them, but the safe stood the charge. While their work was going on two freight trains were let go by the station, the burglars having taken down the signal, but fortunately no harm was done. The third train stopped on orders, and it is supposed this scared them away. Pilling .was found by the train men and liberated. At times for soveral months obstructions have been placed upon the Indianapolis and Vincennes Railway tracks just west of Martinsville. On Dec. 2!) a tie laid across the rails wrecked an engine. On Jan. 16 a large stone was found on the track about the same place. Obstructions have several times been seen on the tracks and removed by farmers residing near. The Pennslyvania Railway detective has been woi’king on the case for several weeks, and the other day he had Henry Murphy placed in jail to answer to the" charge. Several young farmers are implicated. Perry Morrison is said to have made a confession. Patents have been issued to Indiana inventors as follows: George A. Foster and C. E. Hoffman. New Albany,dental plugger; John C. Groseclose, Bargersville, fence; Elijah Hays, Warsaw, nut lock, vehicle brake and car coupling; Charles M. Eller, assignor of one-half to S. E. Urmston, Indianapolis, fence post; Henry F. Kulilmann, assignor to E. Kuhimann and J. R. Barth, Indianapolis, split pulley; Daniel A, Marmon, assignor to the Nordyke & Marmoit Company, Indianapolis, return air purifier; Jas. T. Mathews, Shelbyville, wrench; Arthur ,T. F. Mill, Aurora, radial drill: Cyrus P. Reist, Lebanon, support for fence post; Milton S. Smith, Rolling Prairie, rail fence.

A large part of Maumee Township, Allen County, bordering on the Ohio State line, is in a wilderness, but is of excellent farming land and easily and profitably cultivated when once cleared. Several sections of this land belong to the estate of the late Hon. Joseph K. Edgerton, and the other day a big deal was closed w Hereby a colony of progressive Omish farmers purchased 1,200 acres of this land for $15,000, being sl3 an acre. The colony is composed of eighteen families from Allen and Adams Counties, Indiana; Allen, Fulton, aud Putnam Counties, Ohio, and Tazewell County, Illinois. They will commence to fell timber and will clear a largo part of their purchase money from that source. They expect to have half of their land cleared ready for use next spring. v - Warden French of the State Prison North, wants the State Board of Charities to frame a bill and recommend its passage by the next Legislature, providing for classifying the convicts in the Indiana prisons into three grades, the system at present used in Ohio and other States. It has been stated in the papers that Mr. French proposed doing this, but ho writes to Secretary Bicknell, of t ( he State Board, that the construction of the prison makes it impossible , ; ust now to successfully carry out such a system”, which, however, he regards as hn admirable thing and one that should be adopted in this State. Webb Oaks. aged. 15, was assisting in moving a house at Edinburg, when one of the sills slipped off a jack and he was caught under the house and crushed to death. It is a current report at Bed ford that the Baltimore and Ohio Southwestern Railway is likely to purchase the Bedford Belt Railway and the Hoosier stone quarries, which include four different quarries directly connected with the Belt Railway. It is asserted that representatives of the B. & O. Southwestern were at Bedford looking "p the records as a preliminary step towards making the deal. It is also stated that the company has had an option on this property for some time.

CHINESE PRISON.

Horrible Ijutitattoa* of Cruelty and ladecency. A Chinese prison is a horrible inititution. Its outer door is barred with bamboo and is guarded by petty soldiers or policemen. The prison or “caugue” contains two rooms and two yards. One room and one yard are for men. The other room and yard are for women. The space set apart for vyomen is very much smaller than

MEN IN THE “BOARDS.”

that for men. But the women’s quarters and the men’s quarters are alike in being entirely devoid of any provisions for personal comfort or fo' personal decency. Chinese prisoners are by the gov. ernment provided with absolutely nothing but the space beyond which they may not pass. If their friends thrust food to them through the bars of the prison fence the law does not interpose. Otherwise the prisoners may starve. I used to take food to the Shanghai prison yards, says a writer. I used to buy Chinese food at a cheap chowchow shop, and when I reached a prison fence hire a coolie'to feed the poor starving wretches. I did not quite care to feed them myself. And it was quite impossible for them to feed themselves. No Chinese prisoner can reach his mouth, for his neck is invariably locked into a board which is about three sept square. It is very heavy and galls the neck. It blisters or ossifies the shoulders. The “pig-tail” drags heavily over it, and pulls the poor enlocked head uncomfortably to one side. It prevents the Sands from lifting rice or water to

WOMEN IN THE “BOARD” PUNISHMENT.

the craving mouth, and from brushing from the tingling nose one of the myriad insects that infest the prisons and the prison yards of China.

AN ACTOR’S BIRTHPLACE.

Glimpses of the Quaint Old House In Which Joe Jefferson Was Born. At the southwest corner of Sixth and Spruce streets, in Philadelphia, stands the house shown in the accompanying illustration. It is a roomy tbree-§tory brick dwelling with a high attic, a structure of the genuine old Quaker City type—green shutters, marble steps and all. In architecture it is unmistakably colonial, but time has wrought many changes, an<J what was once a parlor Is now a salesroom for Florentine casts. Curious clay busts and quaint groups peer through the windows of the erstwhile bed-rooms, in one of which Joseph Jefferson first saw tho light in 1829, nearly sixty-five years ago. It was in 1826 Joseph Jefferson, the seeond, met and married Cornelia Burke, the widow of Thomas Burke, a well-known Irish comedian of that day, and herself a popular singer and dancer. Mrs. Burke was nearly a decade older than Joseph Jefferson, who was barely of age when he married, and she already had one child by her former husband, called Charles Burke, who, like his father, after.

JOE JEFFERSON’S BIRTHPLACE.

■ ward achieved success in comedy. Immediately after the marriage Jo- : seph Jefferson rented the house on ■ Spruce street, and here young Joe, now our old Joe, was born three years later. Coming down from a long line of actors on his father’s side, as well as inheriting talent from his mother, Joseph Jefferson, third, very early made his bow to the public. It is said his first appearance was at the 1 age of four in Philadelphia. Certain it is he played in New York in 1837 with both his parents and half-broth-er, Charles Burke.

Scraps.

Carefully gather the scraps from the table and give them to your fowls. There is no kind of feed which will produce a more liberal return of eggs. There are hundreds of families who throw these scraps ipto the waste bucket to be taken away by the swill man, and buy corn for the fowls, when the former is by far the best feed for egg production. Corn or grain should also be fed, but onfy to a comparatively small amount

The poet Burns was in ecstasies when he had “dinnered wi’ a lord,* but he wasn’t in it with Chauncey Depew when he had interviewed the Pope. And now Chicago is trying to steal our millionaires. We thought-the Windy City abounded in million airs. —New York Journal

HUMOR OF THE WEEK

STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Many Odd, Curious, and Laughable Phases of Unman Nature GraphicaUv Portrayed . by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day —A Budget of Pun. Sprinkles of Spice. A good hostler knows how to curry favor with a horse. —Florida TimesUnion. An honest man usually feels compelled to add 20 per cent for men who are not —Atchison Globe v An editor thinks that people of the right stamp are those who inclose return postage.—Texas Siftings. TTie dentist who devotes himself to pulling aching molars is necessarily a painstaking fellow.—Buffalo Courier. It Is a singular fact that the “blunt" man is apt to make the most cutting remarks.—Glens Falls Republican. _ There isn’t a hack or carriage in town that has the rich, heavy rumble that accompanies the beer wagons.— Atchison Globe.

There is no parity between the pose of the preacher and the repose of the bald-headed men in the corner seats.—Plain Dealer. He —“ Has the time seemed long since I left, dear?” She—“l know it must have, for 1 can’t recall when you went/”—lnter Ocean. When a washerwoman changes her place of residence one may ask. her “where she hangs out now” without using slang.—Boston Courier. “I notice that you’ve got a new man to take up the collections in your church.” “Yes; the timqi are ticklish now. He gives bonds in ss,ooo.”—Judge. Brown— “ That wife of yours just fills the bill.” Jones—“ She more than does it. The last one that came in ran clear over to the next page.”—Detroit Free Press. Captain of Police —How far shall I go in carrying out this order to break up the anarchist meeting? Su-perintendent-Even to detailing a man to steal their keg of beer.— Puck.

“Don’t you think Leila’s complexion is lovely?” said one dear girl to another. “Yes; that’s one thing that 1 admire about her. She always buys the best in the market-”—Washing-ton Star. “Oh, George,” she cried, “how I wish you were a knight in armor!” “Yes,” he responded, dubiously, “except that those fellows did so much talking through their hats.” —Washington News. Jinks —Waite is a prince of good fellows. Filkins —Most people don’t regard him as such. Jinks—That’s true; but princes seldom get there by popular suffrage, you know.—Kate Field’s Washington. “Oh, 1 say, Smithers, why are gas meters like the Arabs?” “Don’t know, Jonesy. Because every man’s hand is against them?” “No. Because they evidently silently steal away.”—New York Recorder. Teacher (reading)—“The actor received an ovation at the end of the first act. What does ovation mean?” Bright Boy—“ Ovation is derived from pvum —egg —oh! „I know—he was pelted with eggs. ” —Exchange. The Inventor —Ah! ha! My fortune is made! Hooray! His wife— How? The Inventor—l’ve just perfected a duplex reversible device for automatically indicating to a woman whether her hat is on straight— Chicago Record. “What is the reason you only give me one egg instead of three, as usual,” asked Mr. Tipton Snooks, one of the Widow Flapjack’s boarders. “It is a fresh egg. I can give you half a dozen of the other kiDd if you want to swap,’’replied the landlady.—Texas Siftings. “Dat’s de mos’ wun’fullest t’ing, dat is,” remarked Uncle Eben, as he gazed at the electric light. “Dey done put de match to de udder end ob de connection, an’ when you turns on de spigot de light jes’ flows out” —Washington Star. Mrs. Backbay —What a solemn thing it is for two people to wed; to cleave to one another till death does them part Mr. Jackson-Parke— Isn’t it, though? I’m mighty glad that folks don't have to marry op any such cast-iron conditions nowadays. —lndianapolis Journal. Anxious Mother —“l wish, Susan, that when you give baby a hath you would he careful to ascertain whether the water is at the proper temperature.” Susan—“Oh, don’t you worry about that, ma’am; I don’t need no ’mometers. If the little one turns red, the water is too hot; if it turns blue, it’s too cold.”—Tid-bits. “I’m afraid you’re not enjoying yourself,” said the Boston hostess to her guest, Mrs. Suddencasb, as the orchestra finished the second movement of the symphony they had gone to hear. “Oh, yes, ” said Mrs. Suddencash, amiably. “I shall enjoy it immensely as soon as they quit turnin’ up and begin playin’.”—Chicago Record.

Husband (triumphantly) done it. I have played two games of cinch blindfolded.” I’d like to run out for half an hour. Suppose you mi* the br«jd, mind the baby, stir ths pudding, baste the roast, watch the vegetables and answer the door-bell for awhile. You needn’t he blindfolded.”—New York Weekly.

Vesuvius Affected by the Moon.

Prof. Palmier,i writes: “Vesuvius, the activity of which was rather increased last full moon and then decreased during the last few days, has again commenced to show signs that we may expect new eruptions and flows of lava.' From the principal crater^much smoke issues, and detonations are heard and redhot stones are thrown out. The eruptive cone in the Atrio del CaVallo emits smoke from its irammit with a certain force, while from its base the lava flows more rapidly. A smaller cone in the’ same place is not quite so active. For many days the seismic instruments have maintained a constant movement which tends to increase. ” —Scientific American.