Democratic Sentinel, Volume 18, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 January 1894 — Page 6

iiggctnocraUtScaimri RENSSELAER. INDIANA

CARE OF CLOTHING.

VALUABLE HINTS WHICH WILL SAVE TIME AND MONEY. A •«anptet«'* Wardrobe bat Taj taMtva or Kipemlr. HiOaaai ad Baaaa tag Well on a Small Tinidfi Bill ad What Clothes Too Bsj. Bagge*tioa» (or Woo. There are few men who ucapriie the Importance of economy la wearfag apparel; few who take proper eare of their clothing, and still fewer who know how to make the beat of what they have, so as to eaasa their limited assortment to answer all the purposes of an extensive wardrobe. A society man or a man of ample means, of course, need give little thought to these matters. It la the “middleman” who needs advice; the ene who caDnot keep up with the whims and caprices of fashion; it ho cannot afford to comply with every suggestion of his tailin' and who most either take care of his own clothes or have his wife or some one else do so for him. A complete wardrobe con-

EEFECT OF TOP POCKETS.

sists of a dress suit. Including a “Tuxedo," the ever popular frock coat, the modest diagonal or corkscrew, and thedistinctivolycaaslmere or cheviot business salt—at least three changes—and four or live pain of trousers, varying In color and pattern so as to answer for any occasion and look suitable with any coat and waistcoat. In addition a man should possess overcoats for spring, fall and winter wear, besides an ulster lor very severe weather. By exercising a little care in banging np or laying down garments, by aslng the brush and whisk broom now and then, and by having the tailor examine them at intervals, their preservation and their neat appearance will be insured. When arriving at business in the morning, an office coat should be donned. The business coat should not be thrown carelessly

COAT CARELESSLY HUNG.

•d a chair or in some corner, but should be hung on a hook or over the back ol a chair, and protected from dost A mistake is often made In hanging a coat on a hook without regard to the hanger, and its weight causes the cloth to bulge cot la the most conspicuous part, which draws the garment entirely oat of shape. The ordinary wire coat-hanger sold en the street is preferable to the use •f the tape hanger attached to the garment, hut a wooden shoulder, easily and cheaply made, should be provided, broad enoogh to prevent the break which the wire shoulder occasions. When sitting down the trousers should be pulled op a trifle at the not enough to shortea them conspicuously at the, ankle, but Just sufficient to prevent the usaal bulging, which makes them so unsightly. * Side pockets in trousers tare the waistcoat to a considerable extent, says the New York World. The

THIS IS THE WAY TO HANG TROUSERS.

“top pocket” compels the lifting of the side of the 'waistcoat whenever the hand is placed therein, which wears off the edge or the Hnding . I and causes wrinkles aerorn the body of the waistcoat at the hollow of the waist. During the night the grousers should be placed over a chair In preference to hanging them up by the buckle straps. The latter coarse, to some degree, draws them out of fthape. Thi owing them carelessly os a chair produces wrinkles or creases. The use of the modern trousers stretcher does to some extent preserve the shape, but unless properly used it does more harm than good. The waistcoat should be laid flat on the table or elsewhere, instead of hungup at the shoulders. Usings table upon which to brush garments is preferable to any other course, and a little household ammonia should be used to remove spots which the brush or broom doe* art displace. Carelessness while eating prodnew these spots more than any other .

cause, particularly with portly gentlemen. Those who are careless in this respect should always cover their chest with a napkin while eating. The cost of keeping one’s clothing In good order is trifling, either in time or money. To have a tailor examine them occasionally and put them In order is the best and most prudent course. It 4s a considerable saving In the end. In selecting a tailor for this purpose, one should be ebusen who makes the renovating and repairing of clothing a specialty, otherwise the charges will be unreasonably high.

DEFENDED THE INNOCENT.

A Ua That Saved a Man from a Senseless Mob. Ton all know what happened to bone thieves in Nevada thirty years ago. Well, not long after the gold fever broke out I went West to do what I could to help the souls of aome men who were seeking their fortunes in that wild country. I established myself at gulch; and as I was not too much of a prude in religions matters, I really won the confidence of the mining community, who felt a bit of pride that they had a parson among them who wanted to see things done “on the square. ” One evening as it was getting,dark I was standing in front of my cabin, which was a quarter of a mile from the miners’ huts. Suddenly a man whom I did not know, but who might have seen me before, came running toward me. He was almost dead from fatigue and terror. The perspiration dripped from his face and hands, though it was a cool evening. His Jaws were so parched that he conld scarcely articulate a word. He fell on his knees before me hoarsely whispering: “Innocent, innocentl" while he glanced back over his shoulder with a look of dread, his eyes almost bursting from their sockets. In a moment I grasped the situation, and without a word hurried him into my cabin and concealed him. Five minutes later a party of angry miners, one of whom carried a noose in his hand, drew up before my door. I met them with a cool, inquiring look. “Parson, we’re after a horse thief. Have you seen a stranger about here?" I looked the leader straight in the eye. I knew he would believe me without question. “Yes, ten minutes ago I saw a man running toward the river.” They wheeled about and were gone. They searched the bank until dark, and then concluded that he had drowned in trying to cross the stream, gave up the hunt. About 10 o’clock the man whose life my falsehood had saved struck over the hills and doubtless reached one of the neighboring camps. The missing horse returned to the stable of his own accord about dinner time the next day. I may add that 1- my conscience never troubled me on the score of what I did.

The Dead Letter Room.

An Interesting portion of the Dead Letter Office is the room in which an accumulation is made of those articles on which an insufficient amount of postage is paid, or which have been incompletely or wrongly addressed, writes Alice Graham McCollin, In an interesting sketch of the presiding genius of the Dead Letter Office, In the Ladles’ Home Journal. It is a most heterogenous collection, ranging in kind from skulls to confectionery, and in value from one cent to one thousand dollars. Sales of these articles are held annually, and after they have been held for claim for over two years, and after every effort has been exhausted to find the owners the parcels become matters, of public investment. Most of the packages contain articles of too small value to be sold separately, so parcels containing the contents of several packages are made up and sold at an average price of sixty cents each. The attempt is made to have articles in each package worth that amount The original wrappers are removed from the parcels, and new ones, on which is written a description of the contents, substituted. This description is also entered In the auctioneer's sale book, and from this description, not from a personal examination, the purchase Is made. The sale Is held in December, before the holiday season, and continues for about a week. The proceeds, like the money found in unclaimed letters, are delivered to the Third Assistant Postmaster General for deposit in the United States Treasury.

Dressing the Children.

For the litt'le girl’s gowns, after white has been laid aside, soft cashmeres of gray, wood or steel blue are fancied, and occasionally one sees a toilette made of old rose or of the faintest shade of yellow, writes Isabel A. Mallon, in an article on “Dressing Our Little Women,” in the Ladles’ Home Journal. However, this, of course, Is the gown selected for a festivity, and not the one preferred for general wear. Pretty plaids are especially liked for the girl of seven, and with such a gown she will almost invariably have a coat of the same material, with very wide Empire revers, faced usually with a bright color, while her hat is a large felt one, trimmed with rosettes, wings, or feathers. The shoes and stockings of the small women continue to he black, the former being for state occasions es patent leather, and for general wear of soft kid.

The Main Thing.

Little Henry’s. father and mother wish him to be a French scholar, and knowing that a foreign language is most readily acquired in childhood, they have given him a French governess, with whom he is expected to talk French. Henry gets along pretty well, hut is not yet to be mistaken for a natiye Parisian. The other day he discovered that the barn- was on Are. He ran into the house quite out of breath. “O madamoiselle, ” he exclaimed, rushing into the school-room, “I don’t know whether it sla feu or le feu, but anyhow there’s a big blaze in the bam!” ' .*■ ■■■—.•■' ....I.;,:, t ..... Braxii. will greatly oblige the rest of the world by making up its mind as to what kind of government it wants and remaining in that fame of mind four or five consecutive weeks.

WILLIAM T. STEAD THE LONDON EDITOR.

Editor William T. Stead, of London, who has for some time been studying poverty and crime as they exist in Chicago, has formulated a plan for a better spiritual and material condition. He issued a call to ministers of all religions to form a federation which should be a mighty force in purging municipal affairs of the evils that infest them. In response to his circular many clergymen gathered and the following plan was suggested : That the city be divided into districts, each district to be placed under the care of a church. The members of this church should visit all the houses, tenement and otherwise, in the district, seeking for destitution, both spiritual and material. Physical destitution should then be reported to the proper channels, and religious preferences should be reported to the church for which a preference had been announced.

A ROMANCE OF THE WAR.

Gratitude Shown by a Soldier for Kind Treatment Years Ago. Just after one of the big battles, in which the Union soldiers won a great victory, a number of wounded #vere brought to Harrisburg. Harrisburg at the time had many hospitals in churches, schools and factories, and they were crowded so much that the patriotic citizens volunteered to take the wounded to tbeir homes and care for them. Among those who did this was William D. Martin, of 314 North Third street. He had a son in the army, and naturally his heart went out to the sick and wounded comrades. There was taken to his house a young soldier who was suffering from four bullet wounds and hurt so badly that it was hardly expected he would recover, chronicles the Harrisburg Telegraph. Mr. and Mrs. Martin nursed him carefully, ministering to his wants, sent for Dr. Rutherford, the elder, to treat him, and in every way made the young soldier as comfortable as possible. For a long time there was no improvement, and Dr. Rutherford expressed the opinion that the lad would die. But Mr. and Mrs. Martin would not have it that way. They determined to save his life, and after long weeks of suffering the soldier boy, under their careful nursing, began to improve. He became strong' and well, ! and one day there came a time for I him to again shoulder his gun and go jto the front. As he bade Mr. and Mrs. Martin good-by he said, with tears in his eyes: “If I live I shall never forget you. You will hear ! from me again.” Occasionally they would hear from him in the army, and when the war ended he returned to his home and | began business. In the years that j followed Mr. Martin received letters 1 from his soldier lad, and an occasional inquiry as to his business affairs, I his prosperity, etc. Recently, after ; the lapse of thirty years, came a re- ! ward unexpected for Mr. Martin. ! The soldier boy he and his good wife had nursed back to life and health and strength has written him a let- | ter telling him that hereafter he I shall take no thought for the future | so far as finances are concerned, that j the writer is well-off in this world’s 1 goods and proposes that Mr. Martin | shall share them with him. As a j consequence Mr. Martin has gone out : of a business that he has conducted ; for the better part of half a century, | and his declining years are made glad by the return of the bread cast upon the waters thirty years ago.

A STORY FROM COLORADO.

The Truth and a mountain Lion Pretty Badly Stretched. A Colorado man has tamed a mountain lion, writes a Denver liar. It is i the toughest of beasts—so tough a | butcher could not cut its shadow with i a hatchet. Dave Snyder, Jr., of 631 Champa street, Denver, shot one of i these yellow terrors in Gracd Can- | yon, but the lion failed to die, and bit Snyder through the arm. Then lit was captured by the dogs. To be ! revenged, Snyder fastened the aaii mal between two tall pines, standing I seventy feet from each other. It took a double team of mules and six drivers, with two gallons of Utah whisky, half a day to bring those trees together. The plan was to cut the rope and let them lly apart, Grecian style. The great crowds of first citizens expected to see menageries and fiddle strings drop for an hour. The two mining towns of Silverton and Ouray, including Dave Day’s “Solid Muldoon” printing office, shut down business to see the fun. At the words, “Let her go, Miss Gallagher!” the rope was cut. The tall trees flew back with the swish and roar of a cyclone. But the lion didn’t drop. It stretched. High up in dizzy midair the people saw something like a huge yellow sausage (with hair on it) seventy feet long. Two big eyes and a row of teeth gleamed at one end and a bushy tail wagged at the other. The lion’s roar also stretched as thin as a razor and cut the ear like the scream of a buzz-saw. The brute’s fur, however, didn’t stretch, so there was but a single hair to each square inch of mountain lion. The pluck , of the .beast took the people by storm. They ordered its life spared. Accordingly the trees were felled and the lion released. When taken down to earth, its anatomy shut up like a Sixth avenue concertina. Alas! the

stretching had, done its work too well. The lion was now sixteen feet in diameter (half an hour before dinner), with a growl like an ocean fog horn. But the terror was thoroughly tamed and it won every heart. The sheriff used the brute for hunting train robbers. When it got within half a mile of a Bitter Greek outlaw, it stood on its hind legs and shot its head forward like a catapult, pulveriz : ng tbe ; . cruel robber. And its teeth did tbe rest. On returning home the smiling countenance of the lion reached town 20 minutes ahead of its tail. Moral: Never stretch the truth with the hair.

QUEER ARCHITECTURE.

Three of the Fatuous Leaning Eell Tower: In Italy. Of the bell towers or campaniles of Italy the most famous is the campanile of Pisa. Hundreds of tourists

bologna leaning toWebs. cled by eight rows of pillars rising one above the other.. It was begun in the twelfth century and ing. During its construction the foundation settled, throwing the bollding out of plumb, Notwithstanding its leaning position, the tower is perfectly solid. In its upper story there are seven bells, one of which is a giant of six tons’ weight. In Bologna there are two leaning towers. One of these, the Torre Asi Nelli, is 320 ,feet high and four feet out of the perpendicular. The defect is due to accident in its construction. -The othertower, the Torre Garisenda, was actually begun with the intention of building a leaning tower. The builders could' hot, however, carry it beyond 163 feet high, and at this height it is ten fest out of perpendicular. The two towers stand near each other in a square in the center of Bologna.

Prompt Reply.

Some business is best done quickly and with few,words. Other business, of a more delicate nature, is commonly entered upon in a mote leisurely manner,or Now and then, however, a man is found who makes jno such distinction. Farmer Jones sought an interviewwith Widow Brown. He had long prided himself upon his short-horn cattle; she was, in her way, as proud of her poultry and pigs. “Widow Brown,” said he, “I am a man of few words but much feeliDg. I possess, as you know, between three and four hundred head of cattle. I have saved up eight hundred dollars or so, and I’ve a tidy and comfortable home. I want "you to become my wife. Now, quick’s the word with me; I give you five minutes to decide!” “Farmer Jones,” said Widowßrowh, “I am a woman of few words—l’ll say nothing of my feelings.possess, as you know, between three and four hundred head of poultry and about ten score of pigs.“ I have nigh twelve hundred dollars well invested—my late husband’s savings and my own earnings. I tell you I wouldn’t marry you if it were a choice between that and going ,to the scaffold. Sharp’s my word, and! give you three minutes to clear off my premises!”

Caloric.

“During your arctic expedition,” some one asked an explorer, “how did you get warm when your fuel gave out ;” ££ I “simplest thing in the world,” answered the tl j explorer. “Two of us were Republicans and two Democrats, anti whenever the thermometer in the hut went below the freezing point we talked politics."

FOND OF COWBOY SADDLES.

£B(llfh ud Gcmtsi Bay dieh. of the Finest Goods 11* de In Cheyenne. All over North America for many years Cheyenne saddles have been famous, and every equestrian, outside of the United States cavalry and of the northwest mounted police of Canada, has either had his horse tricked out with Cheyenne leather or has wished he had. The fancy work on saddles, holsters and stirrup hoods that once made Mexican saddlery famous and expensive long ago was copied by the Cheyenne makers, who kept up the fame and beauty of American horse trappings, but made them so cheap as to be within the means of most horsemen. In the old days when Western cattle ranged all over the plains and the cowboy was in hislglory, that queer citizen would rather have a Cheyenne saddle than a best girl. In fact, to be without a Cheyenne saddle and a first-class revolver was to be ho better .than the sheepherders of that-era. When a reporter of the New York Sun found himself in Cheyenne the other day the first places he looked for were the 6addle-makers’ shops. He was surprised to find only one showy, firstclass store of the kind, and instead of there being a crowd in front of it there was no sign of more business than was going at the druggist's, near by, or the stationer’s over the way. In one way only did the reporter find his hopes rewarded; the goods displayed in the windows were beautiful and extraordinary. There were the glorious heavy hand-stamped saddles; there were the huge, cumbrous tapaderos; there were the lariats or “ropes," the magnificent bits that looked like Moorish art outdone, and there weje the “mule skinners” and the fanciful spurs, and, in short, the windows formed a uiuleum of things that a cowboy would have pawned his soul to own. The metal work was all such as a cavalry man once declared it, “the most elegant horse jewelry in creation.” Englishmen and Germans now buy the fanciest and the best trappings to send abroad to their homes. Handstamped saddles cost from SBS to $lB, but $35 buys as go id a one as a modest man who knows a good thing will care to use. Cowgirl saddles were on view—seven of them —with rigging for side seats and in stirrups made in slipper shapes. It is not that there are really half a dozen cow-giris in the world or half a dozen women like the Colorado queen or the lady horse breeder of Wyoming, but there are Western girls who have to ride a great deal, and they have fond fathers and brothers and still fonder lovers; hence the manufacture of magnificent side saddles, all decked wi’th hand-stamped patterns and looking as pretty as the richest Bedouin ever dreamed of horse gear being made. There is still a good trade in cowboy outfits that are ordered from Montana, the Dakotas, Wyoming, Colorado and Texas, and similar goods go to the horse ranches of Nevada, Idaho and Oregon. Moreover, as long as men ride horses there will be a trade in fancy outfits for them.

visit this yearly not so much because it is beautiful as because it is curious. Instead of risin g perpendicularly it is built leaning, standing like a tree which Ithe winds have bent in its growth. It is 17 9 feet high a n d i s 13 feet out of per pe ndicular. Thetowler is built of white marble anti is encir-

Quit© a Fascinating: Little Novelty from Over the Water. ’ Here is a fascinating tea table just brought out in England. It is the most charming contrivance imaginable. When closed, as you will see by the accompanying sketch, quite an ordinary-looking pretty little table, but by simply lifting the two flaps

which fall over and close on the top, up springs the tea equippage complete and ready for use, * the whole resting on a movable tray with crystal base. This magic table will be extensively adopted by those who

have dainty crockery and who will feel it a comfort to have it more safely housed than is possible in the ordinary china closet.—Lady’s Pictorial.

Legouve’s “Memoirs” contain a story which illustrates the absentmindedness of Louis Philippe. The brother dramatists, Casimir and Germain Delavigne, had decided to get married simultaneously, and thought it their duty to inform the King of their intentions. Casimir was deputed to convey the news. “Sire, my brother and I intend to marry on Sunday next,” he said. “Indeed! At the same, time?” asked the King. “Yes, sire.” “And at the same church?” “Yes, sire.” “Then J need not ask whether it is the same lady!” ' Another and more curious exampleof absent-mindedness is given in the same volumes. The hero in tliis'case was Ampere, the electrician and mathematician. He was holding a formal reception, and appeared in hid drawing room in his Academician’s dress, coat, waistcoat, hat, sword, and all complete, except only the inexpressibles. Of the same Ampere it is told that he once wrote to his son, Jean Jacques, the critic and his- j torian, who was in Kome, a letter so touching and miserable, that the young man hastened home, convinced that his father was seriously' indis- ! posed. Next morning at breakfast the father was taciturn and thoughtful. At last he said, “Do you know, Jean Jacques, it is very strange, but I really thought that 1 shou!d be pleased to see you again? lam not. Do you think of returning to Kome to-day?” And this was when the journey between Paris and Rome meant at least a fortnight’s hard" traveling.

A NEW TEA TABLE.

TABLE CLOSED.

TABLE OPEN.

Absent-Mindedness.

MEMORIES OF CHILDHOOD.

Th«ir FoMfMor, However, Felt Obliged to Atk a Few Question*. A man six feet high, with the side of his head wrapped in dry goods, went into a Mcnroe street dental emporium the other day and sank wearily into a chair. In response to the proprietor’s “What can I do for you?" the large man said: “I have a toothache that is breaking my heart, and I think that I ought to have a fang drawn; but, you see, I haven’t been to a dentist since I was a boy, and I want to ask you a few questjons before you go to work. ” “Go ahead?” “I want to know whether you prop a man’s jaws apart with an iron wedge and then tell him to ‘look pleasant, please.’" “Certainly we don’t” “I want to know whether you fasten one hand in the victim’s hair and brace a knee against his throat,

and then draw his tooth as though you were pulling the cork from a beer bottle with a corkscrew.” “Why, that would be murder; 3>ou feel no pain at all.” “That’s what the dentist told me when I was a boy. I want to know whether you use a jimmy to draw a tooth when the pincers fail, and also whether you will replace, free of charge, any sections of the jaw that may be removed during the operation. ” “We won’t hurt you at all.” “Then you may go ahead; but I have a friend at the foot of the stairway. He is a larger man than I am, and he can punch a hole through a stove lid; and if I yell once he is coming up here eight .steps at a time to knock down the ceiling with you. Do you want to go ahead?” “I am afraid not; you had better go up street to the veterinary surgeon.”—Chicago Tribune.

A Good Audience.

The Rev. Lyman Beecher was once engaged to preach, by way of exchange for a country minister, and the day proved to be very cold and stormy. It was mid-winter, and the snow was piled in heaps all along the roads, so as to make the passage very difficult. Still the Doctor urged his horse thiough the drifts, till he reached the church, put his horse into a shed, and went in. As yet, there was no person in the house, and lifter looking about, he took his seat in the pulpit. Soon the door opened and a single individual walked up the aisle and took a seat The hour came for opening the service, but there were no more hearers. Whether to preach to such an audience or not, was only a momentary question with Lyman Beecher. He felt that he had a duty to perform and that he had no right to refuse to do it because one man only could reap beuetlt; and accordingly he went through all the services, praying, singing, preaching and benediction,, with one hearer. And when all was over he hastened down from the desk to speak to the “congregation,” but he had departed. So rare a circumstance was, of course, occasionally referred to, but twenty years after, a very delightful discovery came to light in connection with this service. Dr. Beecher was traveling in Ohio, and on alighting from a stage in a pleasant village a gentleman stepped up to him and called him by name. “I do not remember you,” said Doctor Reecher. “I suppose not,” said the stranger, “but we spent twoliours together in a house alone, once, in a stortn. ” “I do not recall it, sir,” replied the old minister; “pray where was it?” “Do you remember preaching twenty years ago, in such a place, to a single person?” “Yes, Ido indeed; and if you are the man I hive been wishing to see you ever since.” “I am the man, sir; and that sermon made a minister of me, and yonder is my church. The converts of that sermon are all over Dhio." In telling the story Doctor Beecher would add: “I think that was about as satisfactory an audience as 1 ever had."

Tall Buildings.

The Masonic Temple, Chicago, has twenty floors above ground, and a height from pavement to roof coping of 274 feet. The Pulitzer Building, New York, occupied by the World newspaper and by offices, has twelve above ground in the main structure, with a roof 191 feet above the pavement. On the top of this, however, is a six-story dome, in which the highest room is 280 feet above the ground. The New Netherlands Hotel, New York, now approaching completion, will have seventeen-floors, and reach a height of 210 feet above the pavement. Among the new buildings erected in Chicago are the Katahdin and Wachusett, each of seventeen stories, and 200 feet and 205 feet, respectively, from the pavement to the top of the roof. The Old Colony, another seven-teen-story building, will be 215 feet high.

Too Thin !

Gold leaf, when beaten into a sheet of the thickness of but 1-250.000 th of an inch, appears to be of a beautiful green when held up to the light. The burglar is not inclined to be talkative, but he is a grpat bore when he finds the safe locked.—Binghamton Review. The tongue wasn’t made to tell everything the eyes see or the ears hear.

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. fokai and Jokelet* that Are Supposed to Have Been Recently Born—Sayings and Doing* that Are Odd, Carious, and LaufhaJale—The Week** Humor. Let U* All Laoxh. A scenter shot: Shooting a skunk. —Union County Standard. W hex a man fails his friends say he has gone up.—Galveston News. Jagson says you never know how empty a man is until he’s full.—Elmira Gazette. When young ladies preside at a church tea they reign as well as pour. —Lowell Courier. What an awful blow It would be to a long-haired musician to become bald.—Atchison Globe. It is impossible to have the last word with a chemist, because he always has a retort.—Boston Courier. Patient—“ Doctor, I feel that lam at death’s door.” Doctor (enthusiastically)—“Oh, don’t fear. We’ll pull you through. ” —Puck. Bride—Why do they give us so many things we are too poor to use? G-oom—Yes, this cook-book, for instance.—Detroit Tribune. When people are slow and behind the times there is nothing like counting them to bring them to their census. .—Rochester Democrat. She—“ All of which convinces me that you married me for my money. ” He—“ Well, It may not seem probable, but I honestly loved you.”—Life. Teacher—“ What happened when the man killed the goose that laid the golden egg?” Dick Hicks—“ His ‘goose was cooked.”—Brooklyn Life. “Did Dumley’s marriage involve any financial responsibility?” “Oh, yes; his wife requires him to earn enough to pay his laundry bills.”— Judge. Beloved—“ Why, what a time to be calling! It’s half-past 9. The lights are out at HO.” Lover—“ Just like me. J’m always early.”—Detroit Tribune. Spectator—Doesn’t it require a deal of courage to go up In a balloon? Aeronaut—Not a bit, ma'am. It’s the coming down in it.—Boston Transcript. Tramp—“ Please, mum, have you any cold vittles?” Housekeeper—“l am sorry to.,say, sir, that everything is hot.” (Slams the door.) New York Weekly. Traveler—“ Will you find out for me when the next train moves?” The Other Man—“l find out? Why, man, I’m a police detective.”—Boston Transcript. Wool—“I suppose it’s not a commendable thing to confess, but I must say I hate children.” Van Pelt—“ Why don’t you join Mr. Gerry’s society?”—Life. Miss Softly (who has been attending a course of lectures) —“O, Professor, I saw such a funny old fossil in the museum to-day! I thought of you at once.”—Vogue. Student—“l will tell you frankly that I shall not be able to pay for the suit till next year. When will you have It ready?” Tailor—“ Next year.”—Fliegende Blatter. • “I see your hired man is an octoroon.” “Oh, no. He’s a white man. He’s been eating some of my daughter’s cooking-school experiments this week and he’s bilious.”—Judge. Teacher—“ Can any of you tell me what is meant by “home industries?’ ” Billy Bright (promptly)—“Up to our house they’re mostly sawin’ wood an' carryiu’ In coal." —Buffalo Courier. Hicks—“ ‘Cold in death.'* Do yon think that a good expression?” Wicks—“lt depends a good deal upon the kind of a life which has been led by the deceased. ” —Boston Transcript. At the Salon. —“Can you tell me what that picture represents?” “That is Queen Cleopatra. Have you never heard of her?” “Never in my life. I so seldom read the papers.’*— L’lntransigeant. “Made an awful mistake at the Gotrox’s reception. Stepped up to 'one of the guests and told him to call me a horse and carriage." “Did he do it?” “No. He called me an ass.” —Indiafiapolis Journal: Matrimonial Advertisement.— “A lady, young, pretty, bright and poor, desires to make the acquaintance of a man with the opposite qualities, with a view to a happy marriage.”—Fliegende Blaetter. Cholly—l should hate to marry such a bright woman. Why, last week her husband sent her a telegram saying he should stay late at the office and she sent an answer to the club that she would sit up till 3. —Life. Deacon Goode—“l hear that Mrs. Tollings is very ill. It is no doubt trying time with you at home.” Tollings—“You may well say that, deacon. Taking care of the furnace Is alone enough to make life miserable.”—Boston Transcript. “Where is Ella?” “She left the ball-room a few minutes ago, saying that she didn’t fancy being squeezed in the crowd.” “Was Charley with her?” “Yes; and ’l think- that by this time he has found a place where there is cojcrowd.”—Judge. Visitor—l am most grieved to learn‘of.your mistress’ illness. Nothing serious; no great cause for alarm, I trust? The New French Mkid— No, monsieur; uozzing beeg, nozzing grande. Sonmlng—what you call leetle, petite. Visitor —What is it? The New French Maid—Eet is what zey call ze little—small—small-pox. —Tid-Bits.

Letters.

Letters which it is desired to protect against unauthorized opening (by moistening the pasted portion) may be securely sealed by using a solution of oxide of Copper in ammonia as paste. When applied to the paper it dissolves the cellulose, and on drying, the two surfaces adhere Indissolubly together. Even monkeys coming to talk won't throw any additional light on the buzz-saw business. Monkeying with that speaks for itself.