Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 44, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 November 1893 — OUR BUDGET OF FUN, [ARTICLE]

OUR BUDGET OF FUN,

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. \ ■ Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to Hare Been Recently Born—Sayings and Doings that Are Odd, Cartons, and Laughable—The Week's Humor. Let Us All Laugh. Usually out of season—the board-ing-house pepper-boxes.—Elmira Gazette. The biggest &nd of a sinner generally feels religious in a graveyard. —Ram’s Horn. We suppose the ship heaves to out of sympathy for the seasick passengers.—Siftings. The largest expense of married life is frequently the little oner. .. Lowell Courier.

The toper devotes himself «o one absorbing topic, and that is himself. —Galveston News. There is always a right side to a man, but it is not always up with care.—Galveston News. advertising for a situation, a man explains: “Woyk is not so much an object as good wanes.”—Tit-Bits. In some houses there is nothiag thought of except to give the baby a chance to sleep.—Atchison Globe. Jagson says it’s a wise man who goes out of politics before politics goes out of him.—Elmira Gazette. Experience has proved that the longer an engagement the more liable it is to be broken off. —Albany Pres*. The English yacht builders mast comet down to the centerboard or keel over when a close race is on.—Picayune. The world judges a woman, not so much by what honor she "has as by what she has on ’er.—Danville Breeze.

Little boys cannot understand why yachtsmen are so anxious for a spanking breeze.— Rochester PostExpress. If a man changes his mind after proposing for marriage, he would do well to mind the change.—Boston Transcript The most industrious of stamp clerks is seldom anxious to get la two licks to anybody else’s one.— Buffalo Courier. A good idea sometimes flies by us so rapidly that we barely succeed irsnatching the tail feathers out of —Galveston News. Money on call is not to be had: that is, on one call. It takes many, and then you don’t always get itMartha’s Vineyard Herald. She —“lt is a rank injustice to say that a woman is inferior to a man in reasoning power.” He—“ Why?” She —“Because.”—Detroit Tribune. The differences as to the pronunciation of Valkyrie are now settled. She is pronounced a good boat, but a trifle slow.—Philadelphia Ledger. Lord Dunraven must have arrived at the conclusion by this time VLat yacht racing iff America is a stern reality.—Yonkers Siatesman. Little Boy —The preacher said there is no marryin’ in heaven. Little Girl—Of course not There wouldn't be enough men to go ’round. —Good News.

Their Future. —He —Of course, yiy prospects are not the brightest. We will have a great deal to contend against She —Dearest, we will have each other!—Vogue. The Great American Pocketbook Is going to have a big job getting on its ieet between the going to the World’s Fair and the coming of the holidays.—Buffalo Courier. The preacher was honest when he read: “Sinner, turn, why will ye die?” But the old man with the peacockbine whiskers got up and hustled out, all the same.—Plain Dealer. If revolutions never end in South America it should be remembered they come round regularly, and things that are round naturally have no end.—Philadelphia Times. “They call it the exchange,” said a city man to his country cousin as he showed him a certain stately building in Chicago, “because here you exchange your cash for experience. ” Mcs Newcombe Seems to be rather a good year this for fruit, Giles? Are all your trees as full of ,apples as that one? Giles—Oh, miss; only the apple trees.—Judy. The proposition, “might makes right,” was bad enough originally, but the anarchist sentiment, “dynamite makes right,” is a most unwarranted perversion. Washington Star.

“Humph!” sneered Miss McGay, “Here’s an advertisement in the paper of a man who claims he can cure freckles. He must be an’idiot. What people want is something to kill freckles. ” —Harper’s Bazar. “Wimmen’s suffrage?” said Mrs. Hollersnag: “not any fer me, es you please.” “Why not?” “Because I hev ter wait on Josiar enough ez it is without goin’ ter town an’ doin’ his votin’ fer ’im.”—Washington Star. Tourist (in Ireland) — “I would like a room with an iron bedstead.” Hotel proprietor—“Sorr, Oi haven’t an iron bedstead in the place—they’re all soft wood. But you'll foind the mattress noics and hard, sorr.”— Tit-Bits.

“Hedi/i, Jack, I understand you’re engaged.” “I am, old man, to the est, sweetest little woman on earth. The one woman calculated to make you a happy home, the embodiment of your ideal, the dream of your youth.” “Say, old man, how did you ever find that out? You—don’t know her, do you?”—Harper’s Bazar.

The latest caprice of women is to be lean. Surely this will prove of good to no one unless it be the Turkish bath people. The artists are setting their faces againstdimples and rounded figures, and depict womeu lean, almost lank. Such is the type affected by the intense Parisienne. FotLowiNG the well-known “you press the button” advertisement of a kodak firm, an Idaho undertaker came out with this awful head-line: “Yoiikick the bucket and wc do thq tost. 4