Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 November 1893 — Page 6

glje jPf raonrotitSentinci RENSSELAER. INDIANA. J. W. McEWEN, - ■ - Publisher.

MIGHTY OF MUSCLE.

SAMSONS WHO HAVE FLOURISHED IN EVERY AGE. lone Marvelous Deeds of Old-Time Athletes—A Man Who R%p a Mile with an Ox on His Shoulders, Killed and Ate It la a Day. feats of Strong Men. In all ages the world has had its prodigies. There were Sandows before now, and the pages of history are lined with the feats of strong men. Of all the athletes of the past Milo is one of the best known after the biblical Samson and the mythological Cyclops. It is recorded of him that he once ran a mile with an ox on his shoulders, then with a blow of his fist he killed the beast, and ate it In one day. It is optional with the reader which to admire —his great strength or his wonderful digestive ability. He perished through overconfidence in his strength. In attempting to tear asunder a forest tree, partially split by woodcutters, he was caught and held-.fast by the closing of the fissure, and -was there devoured by wolves. Polydamas of Thessalia was a man of extraordinary strength and stature. As Hercules had- done, he alone, without arms, killed an enormous lion that was devastating the valleys of Mount Olympus. With one hand Polydamas could hold back a chariot drawn by two horses. He could break the trunk of a tree as any one would break a small stick. The King of Persia, wishing to witness the feats of this marvelous

COOLD SUPPORT THREE HORSES ON HIS CHEST.

man, called him to his court. He had opposed to him three of the strongest men of his army. Polydamas killed the three by simply giving each a slap on the ear; he was about to slap a few more when the King, satisfied, stopped him. Like Milo, he died through over-confidence in his strength. He attempted to support a mass of __ rock that had given way, but he was securely buried under it. It is said that the Roman Emperor Gains Julius Maximus was a marvel of strength, being able to squeeze the hardest stone to powder with his

COULD TEAR OFF AN OX’S HORNS.

Augers. He was upward of eight feet to height, and his wife’s bracelet could serve him as a ring. Salvius of Borne could walk up a ladder carrying 200 pounds on his shoulders, 200 pounds in his hands, and 200 pounds fastened to his feet. Astonishing: Feats. Athanatus could run round an arena carrying 500 pounds fastened to his feet, lccus could hold fast the most furious bull and tear away its horns as easily as one would pull up radishes. L. de Boufflers, who lived in the sixteenth century, could break a bar of iron with his hands. The strongest man could not take, from him a ball which he held between his thumb and first finger. While standing up. with no support whatever, four strong soldiers could not move him. Sometimes he amused himself by taking on his shoulders his own horse, fully harnessed, and with that heavy load he promenaded the public square, to the great delight of the inhabitants. , Another strong-man story from the wonderful sixteenth century relates to a soldier. One

HANDLED MONSTROUS DUMB-BELLS.

day he took up an anvil weighing 500 pounds and hid it under his cloak. Often to amuse his comrades he went through the rifle drill with a cannon. Oncejhe squeezed to pulp the hand of a man who wanted to fight him. v "■ Bantus’ sister was also remarka-

Sh* threw one out pf a window and kilted the two others with a pillar she tore down and used as a club. Augustus, son of the famous Maurice Marechal de Saxe, who commanded tire French at Fontenoy, was also a matfVel of strength. On one. occasion he twisted with bis fingers only a long nail into a corkscrew, with which he drew the corks of half a dozen bottles. He could break with his hands the strongest horseshoe. The only opponent who succeeded In resisting him was a woman, a Mile. Gauthier, an actress. Augustus tri<?d with hes to see who could put down the other’s wrist, and after a long struggle he won, but

MILO'S FEAT.

with the greatest difficulty. The power <Jf Mile. Gauthier's arm was far beyond the common, and with her fingers she could roll up silver plate as anyone would paper. Had the Strength of Twelve Men. Thomas Topham, who lived iu London id 1710, is said to have possessed the combined strength of twelve men. Once having some words with a neighbor he took an iron spit and twisted it round the man’s neck with as much ease as if it had been a handkerchief. He could roll up a pewter dish weighing seven pound with hia

hands as if it had been a piece of paper. He could also squeeze together a pewter quart pot while holding it at arm’s length. He could crack cocoanuts as easily as anyone would crack hazelnuts; break a broomstick of the largest size by striking it against his bare arm; lilt two hogsheads of water; lift his horse over a turnpike gate; carry the beam of a house as a soldlir would carry his rifle, and lift two hundredweight with his little finger over his head. Athletes of to-day will not give credence to this. He broke a rope fastened to the ground that would sustain twenty hundredweight and lifted an oak table six feet long with his teeth, though half a hundredweight was hung at the extremity. With one hand he raised a man who weighed twenty-seven stone. Once seeing a watchmaa asleep in his box he carried away both man qnd box a long distance. It Is said that having been placed on some duty at the entrance gate of h race course he refused to allow a four-horse coach to go through. On the driver whipping his horses and attempting to pass Topham took hold of the hind wheels of the coach and upset it and its occupants into the roadway. Topham, who kept a public house in Ishington, had a wife who quarreled with him to such an extent that she drove him to commit stilcide. . i; . ■ Lincoln's Reputed Feat. Some of the feats of later days are noted as fellows: Jonathan Fowler, a Massachusetts fisherman, once walked out knee-deep through the mud and filth of a sea shore at low tide to a shark left by the retiring water, shouldered it, and brought it alive on his back to the shore. The shark weighed 500 pounds, quite a load considering that It was not the most portable of articles and that the man had to wade through mud. Abraham Lincoln, the martyr President, was a man of great strength. Hft'bould bury with one blow an ax in the trunk of a tree deeper than any other man, and he Is said to have thrown across the roadway a pigeon house weighing COO pounds. These would be remarkable if the figures were available to sustain the record, but they are not and hence we must leave margin for some guess work and additions.

The Potato Centuries Ago.

It has been proved beyond a doubt that at the time of the discovery of America the cultivation.of the potato was practiced with every appearance of ancient usage in the temperate regions from Chili to New Grenade, ati altitudes varying with the latitude. The name of the discoverer of the potato is unknown, but Du Candolle sums up the history of its discovery as follows: *The pot ato is wild in Chili in a form which is still seen in our cultivated plants; it is doubtful whether its natural home extends to Peru and New Grenada; its cultivation was diffused before the discovery of America, and it was introduced in the latter half of the sixteenth century into that part of the United States now known as Virginia and North Carolina, and the potato was imported into Europe first by the Spaniards and afterward by the English at the time of Raleighls voyages to Virginia." I ; ' Dk. Miquel, the Prussian Minister of Finance, evidently knows on what side his bread is buttered. Speaking of his boss, the Emperor William, at a publie dinner the other day the doctor said: “He is a man of the modern type. He is complete master of the great questions df the present day and is in sympathy with everything tending to ’progress:* ; That dose of taffy ought to secure for the doc the Order of the Holy Wienerwurst.

AN UNSELFISH ACT.

The Unidentified Hero of a Western Town. In a ■Western city last winter, says tlje Youth’s Companion, a fire nearly consumed a hotel occupied almost wholly by wealthy families, among whom were many children. It was after midnight when the alarm startled the inmates from their sleep. The flames rushed through the elevator shaft, shutting off that way of escape, and the electric lights went out, adding darkness to the confusion and horror. One lady, a widow, with a little child, was groping her way with him through a corridor, stifled by the smoke and pursued by the flames, when in the midst of it a figure darted to her side, took the boy in his arms, caught her by the hand, and led her through the smoke and danger out of the house. “You have saved my boy I” she cried. “Who are you?" “One of the bell-boys," he said, giving the child to her. She was not satisfied with the answer and held him fast. “I can’t see you, but I must know who you are! What is your name?” “It doesn’t matter, Mrs. P——he said. “It’s just one of the boys;” He turned quickly away in the darkness, and still remains unknown. Yet he knew that she had great wealth, and would probably reward most generously the man who had saved her child. Many good men have accepted fame and fortune as the reward of noble actions. But there is something in the choice of this poor hotel servant, to let the secret knowledge of his unselfish deed In his own heart be his own reward, which comes as an inspiration into our commonplace lives. The late Prince Consort of England once said: “The man who embodies to me most strongly the idea of Integrity is a poor Highland gamekeeper. If I ever did a dishonorable action I should not meet Davy’s eye. He would know it." Some of our readers may occupy positions as humble as that of the bell-boy or the poor Highlander, and jsometimes, perhaps, revolt agaiflst their lot. They should remember that God, now as in the days of David, often chooses a poor lad to anoint him and make him a king among men.

BATTLE OF TRENTON.

Fitting Monument to Commemorate Washington’s Victory. The recent dedication of the monument in the city of Trenton, N. J., to commemorate the great victory

trhnton monument. M aßsachqsetts, Connecticut and Pennsylvania paraded the flower of their national guard, and fifteen Governors and their colonels, together with cabinet officers apd many prominent men, joined in the historical festivities. The shaft, costing $60,000, commemorates the battle of Trenton, which occurred after the stirring scenes in and about New York. Washington Is represented iu the statue as he appeared when he came down Pennington road on the morning of the memorable 26th of December to the spot where the monument is erected, and there ordered Captain Alexander Hamilton, the 19-year-old artillerist, afterward the distinguished financier and statesman, to fire on the enemy then advancing up Warren street at about where St. Mary’s Cathedral now stands. For fifty years the subject of the erection of a monument to commemorate the battle of Trenton has been discussed. It was not until May 7, 1884, when the Trenton Battle Monument Association was formed, that matters assumed any shape. An appropriation of $15,000 was secured from the State of New Jersey, and after some delay the Congress of the United States made an appropriation of $30,000, and individual subscriptions to the amount of $15,000 were secured.

Portuguese Characteristics.

The men of Portugal are as fond of show as are the women. Their fingers are nearly always loaded with rings, and about their bodies hang chains as thick as ropes, from which are suspended bunches of trinkets. The Portuguese dandy is fond of anything tbfit draws attention to hi 9 much-esteemed person. Above his showy vest he wears a cravat of rich colors, and in his buttonhole a fullblown rose. I know lam safe in saying that most of the promenaders whom I have seen on Sundays in the chief thoroughfares with riding whips in their hands and handsome spurs on their heels have never set foot in a stirrup The spur is to them a sort of sign of nobility which they arrogate to themselves, a relic of the privileges of the old chivalry. Where is the Portuguese, be he muleteer or calker, whose ancestors did not wear golden spurs at the battle of Ourique or of Aljubarrota? I have noticed that a good many officials work in spurs as if about to go to battle, and when these knights of the quill peacefully render up their line, bureaucratic souls to God, I have no doubt that their spurs will be laid on their tombs. But fiave we any right to dwell so long in a half mocking spirit on a people of such numerous and trustworthy moral qualities, and who, but tor their unfortunate Indolence and their exaggerated egotism, might be held up as a model to other nations? For the Portuguese are naturally good, hospitable, honest In their dealings, generous and brave, are very certain that in the even&ofi

any threatening of the independence of their country we should once more see this heroic nation, in whom slumbers a powerful national spirit, rise as one man against the invader, as in 1388 and 1809.

A Camel-Shaped Rock Been on an Arizona Stage Road. Curious rock formations are to be found all over the world, but most of them require a long stretch of the Imagination before the objects they are said to represent can be seen. In Arizona there is one that is deserving of first place. It is a short distance cast of the stage road, between Tucson and Oracle, and stands on a knoll several feet above the surrounding sandhills. When first seen the effect Is startling, and the mind has to get over a shock before the peculiar object can be comprehended. It is a most perfect representation of a camel, and is formed of one piece of granite. No effort of the imagination is required to perceive the “ship of the desert” standing like a sentinel in the midst of the sand and almost verdureless hills. This curiosity is of colossal size, but perfectly proportioned. It is about sixty feet high and is very white and smooth. There are very few fissures on the surface, and they, strangely, are In the proper places to form features. TJie only real projection from the surface is exactly placed for an eyebrow. The two bumps are plainly to be seen, and the neck is curved beautifully. The rock is really a solid piece rising from the ground, but the effect of legs Is produced by a clump of dark-colored brush that grows beside the stone. The white stone shows plainly at both sides of the brush, and the effect of legs Is unmistakably produced. The strang-

won there by George Washington on Dec. 20, 1776, was an event of national interest. President Cleve1a n d formally dedicated the monument to the admiration of the present generation and posterity in general. Governor Flower and staff attended the ceremonies, and the West Point cadets added splendor to the great military 'display made. New Jersey,

est part of It is that it looks like a camel from all sides and at all times of the day or night. There is do disguising the resemblance. How the rock got into its present shape is one of the great mysteries of nature.

WIDELY KNOWN IN THE SOUTH.

Governor Northen, to Whom President Cleveland Wrote a Famous Letter. One of the most prominent of the group of Southern Governors is Will-* lam J. Northen, of Georgia, the “Ohio

QOV. WM. J. NORTHEN withiU the gift Of lii9 State he has become a national figure. A large part of his early career was spent as an instructor in the school-room, and the training he there acquired made him especially acute in his estimates of public feeling. The incident which has lately brought him into such universal public notice was the correspondence between him and President Cleveland on the silver question, a part of which has been made public.

It Is interesting, when one has had his attention called particularly to the fact, to note how often a peculiar attraction of manner which we admire In some one us our friends is Identical with or dependent upon« certain sense of well-being which Is the outcome of a condition of perfect self-control. And were it not incumbent upon us by the laws of society, we should do well, out of regard to our health, to place our bodies under the strict discipline of our wills. It is instructive in connection with this subject to notice how completely the body and its various functions may be brought under command of the will by those who will exercise the requisite patience. Muscles may be brought into action which were before unrecognized. Even the vital functions of the body may be affected. There have been not a few exhibitors who could actually control the heartbeat, making their pulses noticeably slower or faster according to their pleasure. The seemingly miraculous feats of acrobats are simply the result of continually placing particular sets of muscles under complete control of the will. And if we were disposed to profit by our investigations, we should do well to try and appreciate how important, to our physical being at least, the gaining of a complete control over our bodies may be. The student who has before him a difficult passage or problem must, if he would succeed, exercise sufficient will-force to place everything else in his mind second to the task before him. It is much the same in our daily life. Multitudes of petty things tend to make us forget our purpose in living, and if we are to rise above them, we must remember to unburden our minds of the “worries” that we may have room for the “realities.” We must shun excitemeut of every kind. We must live an even, temperate life; and we can do this easily enough if we have gained perfect control over ourselves.—Youth’s Companion. If the frock coat gets much longer trousers will be an unnecessary luxury. T,he of everybody is nobody's friend.

STRANGE FORMATION.

CAMEL-SHAPED ORAN ITS ROCK.

of the South.” Fpr many years he been well and widely known in the Southern States, says the Tammany Times, ,aud since his elecjtion in 1890 to the highest office

Self-Control.

MARVELOUS SPEED.

Wonderful Work of a Modern Perfecting Printing Pres*. To supply the Youth’s Companion’s hundreds of thousands of subscribers, says tie Companion, and not to employ the web perfecting printing press, would require the employment of several times as many presses as are In use. The comparatively oldfashioned “flat” press, properly “fed” and tended, prints one side of a sheet at the rate of two or three thousand impressions an hour. The web perfecting press, working for the most part automatically and five times as fast, supplies itself from a roll of paper, prints any number of pages at one impression, separates and counts the finished sheets, and delivers them in almost any desired form. Without this economy of time and labor, large editions could hardly be produced at moderate cost. With it, there are possible such marvels in cheap book-making as are shown by a New York publisher who has brought the best machinery to bear on the manufacture of cheap novels. His press, described by the American Bookbinder, has two cylinders, each of which receives electrotypes of one hundred and forty-four pages of a book. As the long strip of paper passes through the press, both sides are printed, making two hundred and eightyeight pages. Then the strip, after being carried over rollers which dry the ink, is automatically cut, folded, and brought together into the shape of a small volume, with the edges all trimmed. Every time the great cylinders go around a novel is printed, folded, and trimmed, and five thousand of these are turned out every hour, while, if it were necessary, the number might be incseased to eight thousand. From the printing-press these books are carried to a little machine that looks like a sewing-machine, and two wire stitches are taken in the back of each. The stitched volumes are then carried to the coveringmachine, where they are put side to side in a long feeding trough. At the end of this is a compartment large enough to take a book, carried on an endless chain running over wheels at each end. Indeed, there is a series of litile compartments on this chain, and as the chain moves along each compartment receives a book. As the book proceeds a wheel running in a glue pot presses against its back, smearing it with glue. A little farther along there is a pile of covers that comes up at the right moment, leaving a cover sticking to the back of the book. Of course the cover stands out straight on each side, but as it is carried all the way around on the chain, the glue has time to dry; and when the circuit has been made the book drops off on its back, and falling in between other books, the covers are folded up against the sides. Fifty books can be covered every minute.

"Just Like a Page.”

Court pages seem to have been forgiven a good deal of mischief, if we are to credit the annals of European courts. The thought suggests itself that the high dignitaries were at times weary of etique'tte and magnificence, and were secretly grateful to an audacious youngster for creating a diversion. One day an important official of France, who went often to Versailles, was waiting in an ante-chamber for the coming of the king. He leaned back in his chair, and rested his head against the tapestry on the wall. A page slipped up behind him, and with a great pin fastened the official’s wig to the tapestry. Just then some one cried, “Here is the king!” Up jumped the official, leaving the wig hanging to the tapestry, and confronting the king with bare head. He was not at all disconcerted, and said gravely, “I did not expect to have the honor of saluting your majesty to-day in the guise of a choirboy.” The king repressed a smile, and at once recognized the incident as the work of a page. He insisted upon knowing who was the guilty one, and then ordered him not to appear before him again until he had begged the official's pardon. The page retired after receiving his orders. At midnight he decided to execute them. He galloped away on horseback to the residence of the official, and waked the household and the whole neighborhood, declaring that he had a message from the king. The official got out of bed and put on some of his court garb in order to receive the king's messenger properly. A t last the page was ceremoniously admitted to his presence. Then the boy said, “Sir, I am here at the king’s command. I have come to beg your pardon for pinning your wig to the tapestry.” “Sir,” replied the official, calmly, “you need not have made such haste. ” Then the page retired with much bustle and ceremony. He appeared before the king the next morning, and was promptly asked if he had done as 'he was told. He answered that he had, as many witnesses could testify. When the king was told how the page had executed his orders, .e shrugged his shoulders and said, That is just like a page.”—Youth's Companion. Loud Brassey, the English yachtsman who went around the world in the Sunbeam, navigating her himself, takes with him on his cruises a large and powerful hand organ, with monkey attachment, of the kind familiar to dwellers in all the large cities. Upon this instrument his lordship is accustomed to perform every evening, finding in the operation a congenial form of amusement and exercise combined. Out in Washington they have mart bears. One story teller tells as of “a bear which stood down by a waterfall and caught the fish and threw them up the bank to another bear, which guarded them until they had enough for a dinner, when the two united in a square meal.*’ A wash-out never brings the same feeling of satisfaction to the railroad man that it’doetl to the laundress.— Buffalo Courier

IS A FAMOUS CRIMINAL JUDGE.

Doe* Many Kind Act*, Though Credited with Judicial Severity. The Becorder of the city of New York has the name of possessing a short temper, but for a baker’s dozen of years he has with cherubic resignation put up with having his name mispronounced by some 1,700,000 of his fellow-citizens, every one of whom is pretty sure to have that name on his tongue during some portion of the year. The Press, therefore, comes to the long-suffering Recorder’s rescue by informing the general public that Frederic* Smyth pronounces his name Smith. In repose and with the eyes closed, as they frequently are, as if to shut out the dismal outlines

BECORDER FREDERICK SMYTH.

of the court-room, Becorder Smyth’s face lookslike a death-mask of George Washington. When he smiles, as he does on those very unusual occasions when a lawyer makes a really humorous sally, it is a smile of dry amusement, and the face looks then like that of a cynical eighteenth century diplomat. The Recorder has a great fund of quiet humor of his own, which he keeps pretty much to himself. Everybody knows of this Judge’s severity toward evil-doers, and his reputation for bending the plastic minds of juries in the way that his strong mind inclines—which is generally for conviction—is widespread. On the other hand, none but habitues of the court are aware of his many kindnesses to innocent prisoners brought before him, nor of his encouragement of such young lawyers as he really thinks worth developing. His term expires next year.

Unresisting Prey to Tigers.

There are some unfortunate Indian villagers who appear to live all their lives in constant peril. On the one hand stands the man-eating tiger; on the other the .Arms act warns them to beware of acquiring lethal weapons. They have nothing for it, therefore, but to trust everything to official protection, and this, it appears, sometimes proves anything but a safeguard. Only the other day the miserable inhabitants of Anami, a hamlet in Bengal, implored the Lieutenant Governor to take action before they were gobbled up. A particularly hungry tiger had established itself close to the village, and almost every day witnessed a fresh outrage. At one time, the beast showed a preference for cattle, and the milky mothers of the herd had their ranks thinned. But this kind of fare required to have its monotony relieved at intervals by the substitution of “long pork,” with the result of some inhabitant becoming acquainted with the digestive tigrine apparatus. The villagers were quite willing to make war upon their striped foe; at least they professed to be. But they possessed no arms, that being forbidden by law, while the state did not attempt to afford them any protection beyond the general offer of rewards for tiger killing. Similar cases are by no means uncommon; they often come to light ic the native papers, by which they are adduced as arguments for the abrogation of the Arms Act. That remedy would be far worse than the disease; if all the people in Indian were allowed to carry deadly weapon* there would be no end to battle, murder and sudden death. Efficient state protection is the proper remedy for an evil which would scarcely exist at all but for the interference of the state with the liberty of the subject. Perhaps the Indian Civil Service examination will hereafter include some tests of sporting prowess; it is a much more necessary kind of education than many of the subjects whict are taken up

Imitation Ebony.

Oak wood may be made to resemble ebony by.covering the surface repeatedly with a hot saturated solu. tiou of alum for forty-eight hours, and then brushing over with the following logwood decoction: Boil 8 oz. of logwood and 8 oz. of water, filter through linen and evaporate by gentle heat to one-half its original measure. To every quart of this add 10 to 15 drops of saturated solution of indigo, perfectly neutral. After applying this dye to the wood, rub the latter with a saturated and filtered solution of verdigris in hot concentrated acetic acid, and repeat till the desired intensity is obtained. Oak thus treated is said to be a close and handsome imitation of ebony.

He Knew Better.

A weli-known New England clergyman once exchanged with a brother clergyman and was entertained at the house of a parishioner "who was even too hospitable. She insisted upon his eating a large piece of mincepie for dinner, and the minister yielded, against his better judgment. The consequence was that he became violently ill, and was unable to preach that afternoon. The doctor was summoned, and while he was ministering to his agonized patient, the latter looked up and said, feebly, but with an inimitable twiokle of the eye: “Doctor, I’m not afraid to die, but I’m ashamed to!”

He Mispronounced It.

The Housekeeper’s Weekly tells how a boy was led astray by a misunderstood title. He was about eight years old, and was looking over the book-shelves for something to read. A volume bound in read attracted him. It was Pope’s “Essay on Man. ” He read it for a few minutes, and then threw it down. “It may be easy on man,” be said, “but it’s hard on a boy.“

HUMOR OF THE WEEK

STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Many Odd, Carious, and Laughable Phases of Homan Nature Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Word Artists of Oar Own Day —A Budget of Fan. Sprinkles of Spice. Uncus Sam (to the boomers): “That settles it."—Galveston News. The shotgun should meet the robber who attempts to rifle pockets.— Picayune. A man on pleasure bent may have acquired a shoulder stoop from bicycle riding. It is the telescope which lens enchantment to the distant view.— Lowell Courier. After all, why should a young man be always pursuing his studies. —Plain Dealer. The bald-headed man can tell us all about “parts” unknown.—Glens Falls Republican. When it comes to jealousy and crowing, man is about as bad as a rooster.—Dallas News. No matter what may be said of Senator Stewart, none deny that he is on his metal.—Plain Dealer. Teacher —“ Define memory.” Dull Boy—“lt’s what we always has till we come to speak a piece.”—Good News. First Twin— “ Well, what do you think of this world, anyway?” Second Twin—“ Pretty rocky.”—Rochester Democrat. Most of the wrong deeds charged against a man are those he committed trying to get. his rights.— Atchison Globe. The poet who found “books in the running brooks” certainly had no reason to complain of dry literature.— Washington Star. Some dentists seem to think it necessary to bave a showy sign in order to have a strong pull with the public.—Newport News. Ne"~ Congressman —“ls Senator Silverstate a man of his word?” Fifth Termer—“ Well, not quite as bad as that.”—Detroit Tribune.

“If I ever get rich,” said Tommy, “I mean to go to Italy and eat all the bananas i want, right off the trees.”—lndianapolis Journal. Carrutbers —What did you hold when you called Brobson, and he showed down four aces? Waite—l? Oh! —er —l held my breath!—Puck. And now with gas bills coming In That All up many pages. We wish within our Inmost heart We’d lived in the dark ages. —Chicago Inter Ocean. “Din you ever go to Bins, the tailor?” “Yes. Got two suits from him. One dress suit. One lawsuit. Very expensive man.”—Home Journal. Little Alice— “ What is a boor, mamma?” Cynical Mamma—“A boor, dear, is a man who has never been taught to lie.”—Detroit Tribune. Tommy —Paw, what makes the stars so bright? Mr. Figg—Oh, these astronomers are scouring the heavens all the time. —Indianapolis Journal. It will go hard in the next world with the newspaper space writer if he has to give account for every idle word uttered while on earth. —Boston Transcript! Mamma —Now, Teddy, we must all try and give up something while times are so hard. Teddy—l’m willing. Mamma—What will it be, dear? Teddy—Soap.—lnter Ocean. “Biffins appeafs to have taken a rather obscure place in the community.” “Obscure? Weil, I should say so. Why, nobody even brings him a petition to sign.”—Washington Star. Old Tomkins —l hear, you lucky dog, you’ve come into more money again, according to your wont. Young Jackson—Yo, you’re wrong. It’s according to my uncle’s will.—Funny Folks. Les Fiances. —She —“And are you sure you will like married life as well as you do your club?” He—“Oh, yes.” She—“ And are you so awfully fond of your club?” He —“Not very. ” —Life’s Calendar. TnE Earnest Youth. —“l thank you, sir, for your kind permission to call on your daughter?” “Remember that I turn out the gas at 10 o’clock.” “Ail right, sir: I’ll not come before that time.”—Life. Constance —“ Did he not go home after you refused him?” Clare —“No. He stayed right on and said, ‘All things come to him who waits.’ ” Constance —“And what came?” Clare —“Father was the first.”—Puck. A Bright Boy. —Kind Old Gentleman—And that is your brother? He appears to be a very bright little fellow. Boy (proudly)—You .bet he isl He kin swear like a car-driver. Curse for tb’ gent, Mickey.—Puck. First French Statesman —What Is the secret of the fine health you have at your advanced age? Second French Statesman—Sst! It is indeed a secret. I have fought a duel every month for the last twenty years!— Chicago Record. Clarence —“The little kangaroos must be very unhappy, mamma.” Mamma—“Why do you think so, Clarence?” Clarence —“Why, because they have pockets, but no tops or jack-knives to put in them.”—Harper’s Young People. Two little maids were talking about Santa Claus. “He’s a splendid candy-maker,” said one. “Isn’t he!” said the other. “Why, last Christmas his taffy was so like that my mother makes that I couldn’t teii ’em apart.”—Harper’s Bazar.

Cause for Thanks.

In driving with Whittier one day Emerson pointed out a small unpainted house by the roadside and said: “There lives an old Calvinist in that house and site says she prays for me every day. I am glad she does. 1 pray for myself.” “Does thee?” said Whittier; “what does thee pray for. friend Emejgop?" “Well,” replied Emerson, “wijgn I first open my eyes upon the meadows and look out beautiful world, I thank God tlwt I am alive and that I live so near Boston." '