Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 September 1893 — Page 5

"NEW STYLES IN HATS.

BRIMS ARE SLASHED, TWISTED AND TURNED. A aide from Tills, Which Has Been Carried Almost to the Verge of Eccentricity, There Are So Startling or .Radical Changes Observed. Millinery Modes. Sew York correspondence:

a i OST of what is iul startlingly new in /"1 the fall hats and kJ 1 bonnets lies in the |f ' way brims are Ra slashed and then pfe turned up, down and eornerwise. Aside from evi- ) ) dence in plenty s> J that originality / has expressed itself to the verge of eccentricity In bis particular, there are no star- * ** tling or radical changes to be seen

in the coming millinery modes Some shapes have settled into favorites, and there are a few new ideas on old lines. The Continental or Napoleon better suits felt than it did straw, and will be woyn in all shades and colors. There is a distinct movement in favor of planning the hat to contrast in color with the costume, while the rule that in style of shape the headgear must harmonize with the dress worn is more imperative than ever. Summer usage of flowers still prevails and with questionable taste. The single victorious, full-blown rose is again a startling feature, and, let us hope, one that will not last till snow falls. Purple in its modified tints, red, brilliant and cardinal, and bronze greens will be worn. Bright emerald green and a rich shade of purple is a new and more daring combination than any yet made. One that is more artistic is deep purple and deep red. This, in a little hat justly named sweet pea, has the anchorites of one variety of that flower for its combination of color. It takes the French woman to skillfully “consider the lilies” when she plans a new scheme of color. Hats are trimmed more and more simply, a single tuft of feathers, a rosette, a Bingle flower often making the entire trimming. The popularity of jeweled buckles has revived a “new” fashion from olden time, the Cavalier’s hat. This is one of the few novel ideas. A particularly beautiful model is of etnineilce purple velvet, a low-crowned wide-brimmed

FOR AN AUTUMN OUTING.

hat, the brim curving gracefully aw if aocording to its own will. A little to one side of the front an amethyst buckle holds the end of a magnificent black plume. The quill is white, cut square and is of good length, protruding beyond the buckle. The plume itself sweeps back and to the side, its weight beading the brim of the hat lying against the hair. This old-time model finely suits the great capes worn now, and the type of woman illustrators have made so popular. Buckle and plume make such a hat far from inexpensive. Crystals may be used, but genuine jewels are more frequent. A fall modification of the everlasting sailor 1b one that knows itself a “sailor.” The model is deep bronzegreen felt, with velvet brim exactly matching. There is no hat band, but an old-time topaz and emerald necklace is substituted, the clasp in front holding just one bronze and green cock’s feather, set at a jaunty angle. At last a halt hae been called to the rioting hat pins. It has gone forth that ornate hat pins may be used only with elaborate hats. A new traveling hat comes from Paris, and when Paris starts to do anything in the “severe English” way, she turns out something much more hideous than English itself could be. This model is more like a “billycock” hat than anything else. It is all of soft, rough brown cloth, the brim stitched into some stiffness. Two big buttons which look as if they were sealskin but are not, are set to one side. The hat is big, sets down well on the head, and it transforms the average woman into something between a newsboy and an Irish comedian. Theater hats are still mere butterfly things or fillets. The latter are more and more elaborate, twisted goldjeweled bands, and wreaths £t exquisite flowers being frequent. These do

FOR A MIDDLE-AGED WEARER.

not set on the head, but literally bind it, coming well down on the forehead and at the sides. The style is becoming to almost all faces, but, of course, demands very careful dressing of the hair. An effort is being made to substitute elaborate coiffures for theater bonnete. This, however, is hooted by the milliners, as why should it not be? Milliners must live, just the same as other people. Very rough straw will lie worn almost into the winter. At the same time an effort will be made to observe “All Saints' Day” as a time for change from fall to winter wear. This comes early in November, and in Paris it marks the adoption of felt, velvet, and fur, as here Easter used to be the signal for blossoms and new spring toilets. This will hardly amount to more

than an effort, for already velvet and felt are offered as an immediate change from lace, straw, and Plata, having had its “run" in dress goods, still shows la millinery. Soft ana heavy silk scarfs with ends tied into points are coming in. These scarfs are about a yard long, and are to be passed about a nigh-crowned rough straw hat, the scarf being spread wide at the back, and a feur-in-hand knot, with its ends in the air made at the side of the front. The scarfs are made in plaids so daring that they suggest the “bandanas” of the Southern negreas, but the general effect is quite as trig as can be. These hats look as if “any one can do that, ” but you can’t. You cannot buy the scarf, you cannot buy the hat, and if you could, you couldn’t tie the four-in-hand knot with its legs in the air in the right way. Milliners have long since usurped the right to supply the morning cap. In that direction they have widened their field and now dictate a headdress for Miladi when she receives in the afternoon. The happiest design for the “matinee coil” is a jeweled net, made square and pinned on the head diamond wise, with one point on the forehead and a point at each side. The hair is to be coiled low. This is harking back to the net Juliet, Desdemona and Francesca wore. The same shape is

A THIRD BONNET.

shown in velyet embroidered richly, but you positively must have a beautiful head and a "graceful low knot of hair. Five handsome examples are chosen by the artist for subjects of as many sketches sos these columns, und a few words of description should accompany them. In the initial picture there is a lovely little bonnet of green glace velvet. It is ornamented with an Alsatian knot of metallic blackbird’s wings and topped bv a dainty aigrette tipped with blackbird’s tufts. Next is a hat intended for autumn outing made of cream mouselline de soie and trimmed with ostrich feathers and bows of cream satin. The third model is a bonnet for an older woman and iB a simple and comfortable one. Made of light green chip, its beauty is enhanced by a fan of lace fastened by a jet ornament, and by a bunch of pink roses placed at each side. The tie strings are of black ribbon velvet. Black could be substituted for the green chip, and for matron’s wear dark-red roses would be preferable to the pink, or almost any other flower could be used. The third bonnet shown, in the fourth illustration, is formed of corn-colored ribbon ruching framed by a border of jet. There is a puff of the ruching in the front, and two small black feathers on the right side, for ornamentation, the latter being fastened by a bow of black ribbon. A shape which is quite novel, and one which is much displayed in the stores, is last portrayed. Whether it will be seen outside the shops is still uncertain. It is in black chip and trimmed with an aigrette-like bow of lace and with roses and moss-green ribbons. Black velvet strings fall down the back, and fasten at the side beneath one large red rose. The knot of ribbon in front lends an air of newness and the. upright lace bow makes the hat possible for faces which could not

A NEW SHACK OF HAT.

bear the effect of the flat hats now so much worn, but which are trying to other than small, piquant faces. The trimming of hats will show breadth of effect in front, and this will be quite a distinctive feature of the fall millinery. Fancy feathers and spreading wings will'be much used, and despite the efforts of the humane ones whole birds will be seen again. Jet is in evidence in all the devices of millinery. It is found in crowns and brims cf both hats and bonnets, makes up whole bonnets, forms edges and borders of innumerable pretty lace-like designs, and in countless kinds of ornaments. Cut steel rivals jet for some of these purposes, and wings and ornaments are shown in steel wire as light in its effects as lace. Velvet roses promise to be plentiful, and no attempt seems to have been made to have their colors follow nature. Thus black, brown and green roses, springing from as unnaturally hued foliage, may blossom on hats outdoors even while the snow blows and drifts. , Copyright, 1893.

Among the Gems.

Artificial agates are now made by so many different and effective processes that the stone has lost most of its value as a gOm. The Russian Fcepter is of solid gold, three feet long, and contains among its ornaments 268 diamonds, 360 rubies and fifteen emeralds. After the conquest of Mexico and Peru, emeralds were so abundant that one Spanish nobleman took home three bushels of them. Nero’s eye-glass, through which the near-sighted tyrant watched the gladiatorial games, was an emerald cut into the form of a lens. With the funds raised by pawning the Regent diamond Napoleon was enabled to undertake the campaign that ended at Marengo. The diamond, though hard, is one of the most brittle of stones. A iall on a wooden floor will sometimes crack and ruin a fine diamond. Amber, often classed among gems, is a fossil product. Most of the specimens inclosing insects are manufactured from gum copal.

“THE PEOPLE WANTED A CHANGE, AND THEY GOT IT.” Benj. Harrison. BUT THE CHANGE WAS MADE IN 1889, AND WE ARE STILL SUFFERING FROM IT.-Puck.

REPLIES TO A REPUB.

CLEARLY SHOWN WHY PRICES GO DOWN. - They Become Lower in Spite of end Not Because of Protection—The Oemocratlc Party Is Pslsely Accused—Not a T.aok of Currency. Answer to a Protectionist. The Courier-Journal has the honor to acknowledge the receipt of a letter from a Democrat in Illinois, who admits that he has been talked to a standstill by an intelligent Republican of his acquaintance, and he appeals to this paper for help. Here is the substance of the argument submitted by the Republican: Granted that a protective tariff Increases cost of (roods to consumers at first, it always results in cheaper goods ultimately. For instance, wlre*nailH cost, when first invented, 10 cents per pound: s tariff of Bix cents was proposed, bnt Mr. Mills exclaimed, “Oh, that will never do. 'Twill make them cost 1C cents," bnt the tariff was put on and is on to-day, vet the wire nails sell at three cents per pound. Again, steel rails were costing $35 or S4O per ton; a tariff of $26 was put on, whioh stimulated home production so that now they sell at $25 per ton, although the high tariff of S2O is still on for foreign rails. So Is It ever the case that a protective tariff, by Increasing production, tends to lower price of goods. Again, while he prices of manufactured goods are still at a high figure, the farmer'ean well afford It, because It makes a larger margin of profit. A thrifty farmer can sell, say, $1,200 worth of produce and spend SSOO in clothing, tools and other manufactured articles. Now let protective tariff be removed and the scale of all prices comes down exactly one-half. The farmer sells the same produce for S6OO and pays $l5O for his purchases, thus pocketing $460, where he formerly pocketed S9OO. If the purchasing power of $460 is equivalent to the former S3OO, the fanner might still be no worse off: but then low wages at. the mills have m an time driven many operators to the farms to become competitors of the fanner, and also his market at the mills is smaller, and he Is not su'e of selling all his produce, as In former years. We make room for this long extract in order to present the argument entire, and also because the last part of it is an answer to the first part. The first argument is that protection is right beoause it makes prices lower. The second argument is based on the assumption that the removal of protection would lower prices one-half. These two theories cannot stand together. The pretense that protection lowers prices Is based on the impudence of protectionists claiming credit for what happens in spite of them. Owing to the many discoveries of this century, the use of steam, the introduction of improved machinery, and many laborsaving inventions, labor has been growing more and more productive. It happens, therefore, that the labor of a man will produce, with the aid of machinery, ten, twenty, or even fifty times as much of some objects of desire as it would one hundred or two hundred years ago. This has had. two results. It has cheapened commodities and it has raised the wages of labor. Commodities are cheaper because they cost less labor, while wages are higher because they produce so much larger quantities of commodities. This change has occurred under high and low tariffs and under free trade.

The Protectionists, however, assuming that no one knows what is going on abroad, have tried to account for this universal tendency by ascribing it to laws passed in the United States, although it has gone on here under a revenue as well as under a protective tariff. Apart from these improvements in machinery, it is competition that cheapens commodities, and this competition stimulates invention. It is the manufacturer most pressed by competition who is most likely to discover devices for saving labor, according to the old adage that “necessity is the mother of invention.” This competition is inconvenient to manufacturers, and they try to diminish it by shutting the foreign producer out of the market. By this means tltey are able to keep prices higher than would otherwise be possible. In process of time domestic competition may spring up and help to reduce prices' but, of course, the domestic competition alone cannot, ordinarily, make prices as low as both foreign and domestic competition would. Steel rails afford a very good illustration of these principles when the whole truth about them is told. The use of steel for rails was made possible by the cheapening of steel,and that was due to anew process. If protection had made them cheap in America, free trade would have made them high in England. The fact that they were $lO a ton higher under protection shows what the tariff is for. The general decline in the price is due to invention; the difference between the English and American prices is due to protection. The Republicans cannot adhere to the theory that protection cheapens. It is a wholly artificial theory, and they are always forgetting all about it aud talking about the ruinous prices at which goods will have to be sold under free trade. They are continually telling the wool-growers, for example, that the bare prospect of free wool has put down the price. This shows plainly enough that there is no sincerity in the plea that protection cheapens. If protection really cheapened the product no producer would ask for it, for every one wishes to sell at the best possible price.— Louisville Courier-Journal (Dem.). A False Accusation. The Republican party is trying to make it appear that the present unsatisfactory condition of things in this country arises from an uncertainty as to what the Democrats are going to do, says the Burlington Gazette. We do not believe a word of this. This crisis has been threatening the country for 6ome time. Even President Harrison, in one ol his later messages to Congress tc4d the people that to avoid such a condition of things the Government Had oome to the relief cdthe situation.

It has been seen by the wise men of the nation, and they have predicted it, let whichever party assume the reins of power. It is a natural consequence of a false system of legislation, which has instituted a false system of general business methods and a wrong basis for our financial conditions, and all together have brought about a condition of national affairs whioh is giving alarm to all our people. This condition of things can only be permanently remedied by a salutary system of legislation which shall partially at least undo what has been wrongly done in the way of legislation. That is what the Democratic party has been put into power to do, and if it does not do its work with a master hand and in the spirit of alacrity, a reckoning day will soon come upon it, and the people will ask why their pleadings have not been heeded. Road the writing on the wall, and act accordingly. Not a Lack of Currency. The Hon. John De Witt Warner presented a memorial from the New York Chamber of Commerce to the House, during the silver debate, praying for the repeal of the silver-purchasing clause of the Sherman act. Mr. Warner explained, for the benefit of Western and Southern Congressmen, that the Chamber of Commerce “is not composed either exclusively or mainly of bankers,” but of business men who are borrowers and not loanei-H of money. They are big merchants and traders who are interested in the prosperity of the whole country. In reply to questions from various Representatives, Mr. Warner said that he was willing to advocate each and every plank in the Democratic platform. He expressed himself as follows regarding the question of whether or not it is a lack of currency or a lack of confidence that is now afflicting this country: “If this country has learned anything from the present crisis so that it has been burned into its memory as with a red-hot iron, it has learned this, that while the currency has been increasing as fast as gold can be brought from Europe, and as fast as Government notes can be printed, money has been getting scarcer than before. Men are beginning to learn that the real money of commerce, the real currency for the transaction of business, does not consist in silver or gold, but in the confidence of business men. “That, sir, is the matter in which the chamber of commerce is primarily interested. We want the Government, not to help us to do business, but to let us alone, so that we can have facilities to do business. This law is a destroyer of confidence, an interference with the development of this country: and we ask to have it repealed. “We want that repeal, not as an end, but as a means; as a means to the reinstatement of the public confidence, so that, as in former flourishing times, every bale of cotton as it reaches the press, every bushel of wheat as it reaches the elevator, every ton of ore as it lies on the dock, shall be a basis of credit and be current money throughout Christendom.

“If that law, which puts it out of our and your power to restore that confidence, is once repealed we can cooperate with you in helping on what will be the greatest reaction of prosperity that this country has ever seen —in which, from Texas to Maine, from Florida to Washington, all will be blessed, and we with you will share in the benediction.” A Pecultar Parallel. Under the heading, “The Deadly Parallel,” a great many of our partisan Republican contemporaries are publishing the following extract from the Utica Herald: Opening of President! Opening of President Harrisons mennage to Cleveland's message to Congress, December, Congress eight months 1899: ; later, August, 1893: In submitting myi The exlstenoe of an annual message to'alarming and extraCongress, I have great business altsatisfaction in being nation. Involving the able to say that the; welfare and prosperity general conditions as- of all onr people, has fectlng the commercial constrained me to call and Industrial inter- together an extra sesests of the Unlted aion of the people's States are ib the high- representatives in Goriest degree favorable, gress, to the end that A comparison of the through a wise and existing conditions patriotic exercise of with those of the most the legislative duty favorable period In with which they are the history of 'the solely obarged present oountry will, I believe, evils may be mitigated show that so high a de- and dangers threatengree of prosperity, and lng the future may be so general a diffusion averted, of the comforts of life, were never before enjoyed by our people. Can’t they see that the thing is loaded? Have they not learned to keep their hands off campaign literature from New York? Did not Harrison assume the office after Cleveland, and did not Cleveland again take up the work where Harrison left off? Is not the whole argument in favor of Cleveland, and, according to the Herald, may ’we not expect a condition at the end of his present term similar to that which obtained at the inauguration of Harrison? If all this is true, is it not a good thing for the country that Grover was successful? The Herald is quoted by the directories "as a Republican paper, but its editor must bo devoid of tact and foresight. —Cedar Rapids Gazette. They Squirm. Republican journals and politicians are following the cue to protest against any disturbance of the tariff. Business, they say, demands rest and certainty. l'o proceed to obey the people’s mandate for a reduction of taxes, after the monetary danger is removed, will, they insist, “unsettle” our industries. There has been no talk of precipitate action. The intention of - the Democratic party is to reform the tariff with due caie and deliberation, and to give business ample time to adjust itself to any changes—six months at least. The Republican prole it is inconsistent and impudent. Ten times since the war tariff was passed have the Republicans revised cr amended it In gen-

eral bills. They have been persistent tariff tinkers. But always, with one exception, the duties have gone up, up, up! The average duty of 32 per cent, in the original war tariff of 1862 had increased to 384 per cent, in 1874. Under the "reform of the tariff by its friends” in 1883 the average rose to 42. Then, with a surplus of revenue of nearly 8100,000,000 annually, came the McKinlev revision of 1890 covering every schedule, and last year the average duty on dutiable articles imported for consumption was 48.71. This is the record of the Republican tariff tinkers who now ask that their new tariff of abominations lie permitted to stand in order to secure stability to business. This continual tax-raising is the answer of the monopolists to the people’s demand for relief from oppressive burdens! They have never hesitated to “disturb industry" when they wanted their bounties increased. They will not prevent the relief demanded by the people by bringing out again their tattered old campain bugaboo.— New Age. The House for Honest Money. The House of Representatives must bo thanked for doing thoroughly what it has done somewhat tardily. And perhaps the country is to be congratulated upon the tardiness because of the greater thoroughness. As it is, no one can say that the house has aotod hastily or without due deliberation. Ample opportunity has been afforded for exhaustive argument of the various questions involved in all their important aspects. The result is the comploto rout of the allied forces of dishonest and destructive monetary legislation and a more complete assurance of future safety to the business interests of the country than a vote without full discussion would have been likely to afford. At first the silver people predicted,, with the utmost confidence, that thei Sherman purchase clause could not be repealed unless something equally or more satisfactory to them should be coupled with the repeal. As the debate progressed their confidence diminished, until at last they conceded the unconditional repeal bill would pass the House. But they would not concede more than twenty-five or thirty majority, while not many even of the advocates of repeal claimed a majority! of more than forty to sixty, and the very few who ventured to predict a majority of 100 were regarded as visionary enthusiasts down to the very hour when the voting began. The first vote was on the Bland lti to 1 amendment. The number voting was 348, or only six less than the whole number of members of the House, and the majority against the proposition was 102. Tho Blandites were driven from their first ditch by more than a two-thirds vote.: Then the 17 to 1 ratio was beaten by a majority *f 140; then the 18 to 1 by 137; then the 19 to 1 by 132; then the 20 to Iby 103. This last was the widest departure from the present ratio which the silver men would deign to consider at the outset. It was the last ditch of the free-coiners, the ditch in which they were going to exhibit their full strength, and yet the majority against 20 to 1 was one greater than that against 16 to 1, and the number of votes in favor of it four less. And finally, to complete the stampede of the silver forces from their last ditch and their final dispersion through the woods and swamps, the House passed the Wilson bill by a majority of 131 in a total vote of 349, giving 240 affirmative votes, or sixteen more than two-thirds of a full House.—Chicago Herald.

Who Passed the Sherman BUI? It may be of some interest to know how the vote stood- upon the passage of the Sherman bill in the Republican Congress which forced it upon the people of this count™. The vote in the Senate stood as follows: Republicans for-it, 29: Democrats against it, 26; and this included the full vote of the Senate for and against the passage of the law. In the House the vote was as follows: Republicans voting for it, J2l; also one Independent. Against it were 90 Democrats. And this is the full vote upon the adoption of the bill in both houses. One Democrat in the House and fifteen Republicans not paired refused or neglected to vote. Thus it will be seen how the Democrats stood then upon this compromise measure. They did not compromise much one way or the other. They were solidly against the measure, and have none of the responsibilities of its evil effects to carry. of Republicans. The Ohio Democratic platform puts it thus truthfully and forcefully: The financial situation is the unfortunate legacy of a Republican administration. It is the natural result of the McKinley tariff, the Sherman silver law, extravagance < f the revenue of the party lately in power, and the creation and fostering of trusts and corrupt combinations by that party, all combining to shake credit, ,to create distrust in the money of the country and to paralyze its business. On His Own Platform. The Ohio Democrats have made revenue reform the direct issue, with the author of the tariff plank in tho National Democratic platform leading their ticket in opposition to McKinley, the framer of the-protection plank in the National Republican platform. The convention approved “especially" those portions of tne adopted by the national convention at Chicago referring to the tariff and to currency legislation. Will Drop the ♦♦Gov.*’ Gov. Wm. McKinley Jr. has dropped the “Jr." from his name. After election he will drop the “Governor,” and than will be known limply as plain BiU McKinley.

THE JOKERS’ BUDGET.

JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Why It Was Small—lt Stood the TestTfte Debtor’s Philosophy-Klin All Spoiled, Etc., Etc. WHY IT WAS SMALL. “That is a pretty big buckwheat cake fora boy of your si/.c!” said papa, at breakfast, to Jimmieboy. “It looks big,” said Jimmieboy, “but really it isn’t. It’s got lots of porouscs in it."—[Harper's Young PeopleFUH A 1.1. SPOU,ED. Little Diok—Did you have a good time in the country? Little Johnny—No; mos’ died. We boarded at a farm-house. “Wasn’t it nice?” “Yes, nice ’nough; but on the train a ole lady gave me a cent, an’ when wo got to the farm, 1 found out that there wasn’t a store within twenty miles.”— (Good News.

TRULY IIEATHBN. Mother—See here! You told me you belonged to a Boys’ Literary Society. Small Son—Yes’m. “And you said you spent the time reading about the heathen." “Yos’m." “Huh! I have bceu informed that it is simply a club, and the only books you have are dime novels." “Yes’m; but they is all about Indians wot has never been converted.’’--|Good News. THE DEBTOR'S PHILOSOPHY. “Why did you take that trip to the Bermudas if you knew it would cost you so many hundreds?” “Ah, but I escaped two creditors whom I owed f 18."—[Chicago Record. IT STOOD THE TEST. She hid her lovely auburn head Upon his manly breast. “I will be yours," she coyly said, “That ring has stood the test.” —[Detroit Free Press. A SEVERE TRIAL. lie—ls there anything I can do to Srovc my affection so that you will not oubt it? She—There is. Marry sister. Sho is older than I am and mamma is determined to not let me marry till sister is disposed of.—[lndianapolis Journal. FRIENDLY FRIENDS. Jiuks— See here, old bay! You ought to do something to reduce your flesh. You are becoming fearfully stout. Miuks —Say, Jinks, you aro about the fortieth friend who has made that, offensive remark to-day, and I’m getting tired of it. It worrios me. Jinks—That’s all right. Worry reduces flesh.—[New York Weekly. TOO FACETIOUS. “What’s tlie matter with Biggs? lie has discharged the new typewriter that he engaged only this morning." “B>gg ß Mked hor if she spelled correctly, and she said yes, whenever she had occasion to use the word.”—[Chicago Inter Ocean. A SEASONAIII.K CALL. “It is so beastly hot that 1 think I must call on Miss Millions.” “What bus Miss Millions to do with the weather?” “She always gives mo such a cold reception, don't you kuow." A PASSIONATE VEARNINO. Mrs. Wcarie—l just hate my husband’s relatives, every one of them. Mrs. Brightlie—Oh, I just love my husband’s relatives. I fairly dote on them, and am ’most, dying to tee them again. “Whore do they live?" “In Chicago.’’—[New York Weekly. EXPLAINING IT.

“Look here,” said the indignant man to the dealer, “I thought you said this dog was a rabbit dog.” “Did I? Oh, yes—of course. Maybe you didn't handle him right.” “What do you mean?" “You want to try him with Welsh rabbits. His appetite for them is simply abnormal."-—[Washington Star. IS THIS FAMILY HOMBBTEAI). Mr. Van Clive—Do you know, I’ve wanted that lovely old chair of yours ever since I first saw it. Mabel (demurely)—The furniture and I go together. Mr. Van Clive—Oh, in that case I’ll call to-morrow with a carriago and express wagon. Polly—Ah, but she didn’t say they went to the first bidder.—[Vogue. AS OUT OF-DATE I*IOTURB. Mr. Sweetly—This picture looks much older than your sister. Younger Sister—l guess it is, for she's several years younger than when that was taken.—[Chicago Inter-Ocean. BUSINESS ! First Passenger—You say you don’t believe in giving every man a show? Second Passenger—Not much, Mary Ann. I’m running a dime museum circuit, and I’ve got shows to sell, not ot give away.—[lndianapolis Jourhal. A NATURAL CONCLUSION. Minnie—l had such a shock last evening. Just as I started to go into the house a great horrid man jumped out from behind a tree and tried to kiss me. What do you think of that? Mamie—l think he must have been crazy.--[Texas Siftings. THERE IS A MORAL TO TUIS. Bluster —What a fool I was to let myself be taken in that way! Satellite (trying to humor him)—You were indeed. Bluster Who's a fool ? You con founded little monkey! I’ll break every bone in your body if you call me a fool. —[Judge. AN ACCEPTED REBUKE. He pressed his lips upon her hand, She said ’twas out of place; He rectified the error And kissed her ou the face. COULD HOT ACCOUNT FOR IT. She.—You seem rather “blue” this eveuing, Jack. He.—Yes. I have had a headache all day. and I don’t know how I came to have it. She —What were you doi ig last night, eh, sir? He.—l don’t know what I was doing after about ten o’clock. —[Judge. A KIND BORROWER. “Can you lend me a fiver, Peter?” “I have only four fifty about me.” “That’s too bad. But never mind; I’ll take the four fifty and trust you for the other fifty.”

THE BUTTER ON THE BREAD. Beggy. —What did that self-willed, handsome sister do? Paula.—Oh, she married one of the assistant bookkeepers in her father’* bank. He is still an assistant bookkeeper. Peggy.—And what did the homely, modest girl do? Paula.—She married a little dude to please her father. He is now a member of the firm.—[Truth. LIFE PERFECTLY SERENE. “Ever quarrel with your w!fo?” “Nope.” “Have any trouble with your servants?” “Nope.” “Great Cicsar, man! how’s that?” “Ain’t married, and liye by myself.” —[Harper’s Ba/.aar. AWKWARD. Bashful Little Man' (who has just come) —Er, good afternoon, Miss Hildegarde. I er— Debutante (sweetly, but mistaken) — Oh, must you go? Good-by.—[Kate Field’s Washington. A GOOD SION. “John, dear, don’t you think Harry keeps pretty late nowadays?” “Umph! Glad to hear of something the young rascal can keep.”

a strange expwukjsois. “Cyclones does some funny things,’ began the man with the ginger beaixi. The grocer almost showed signs of interest, while the man from Potato Creek stopped pounding his heels against the counter aud prepared to listen. “I was ketehed in a oyelone when I was farmin’ in Nebrnsky that carried me about u mile high,” continued the man with tho ginger beard; “but strange to snv, it didn’t damage my cto’es none. That is, with one exception. Atter they had picked me up an’ poured a little whiskey into me, au’ kinder got me ’round agin, they took me home an’ laid me on tho bed. My wife, she begun pullin’ off iny boots. She tuk one off, an’ then shu tuk the other off; an’ then she says: ‘W’y, paw; whatever has beeoino of your sooks? I know as well as I’m a-livin’ thet you put ’em on this mornin'.’ And so I did; but that there exhibition of the resistless forces of nature, as the paper called it, had pulled off both socks without disturbin’ of my boots at nil. And that ain’t no lie, neither." Tho man with the giuger beard then wandered out, and the grocer said to the mail from Potato Creek: “That there old cuss never comes in here hut what I always feel like the store was liable to bo struck with lightning, or something.” —[lndianapolis Journal. intuition. Mother --Mabel, stop pounding your little brother! What do von mean? Mabel—Well, 1 told him we’d belter play we was only engaged, but he wanted to play we was married.—[Judge. A WIHEIIKAD. Wisohead—There are two occasion ou which you should never seek to borrow from a man. Lunkhead—And wbnt are they ? Wiseliead—One is when he is just starting for Chicago to see the Fair. Lunkhead—Yes. Wisehoud—And tho other Is when he has jiutgot back.—[New York Press. GETTING to the point. Ho—Are we alone? She—Of course not. Only one person can bo alone, and there are two of us. He—Er—utn—but suppose we twowere made one .

Imperial Economy In China. In view of the preparations for tlie celebration of her sixtieth birthday next year, the Empress of China has issued au address directed against wastefuluess and extravagance. The ministers are enjoined to practice the strictest economy,, which, it is observed, will be in accordance both with Her Majesty’s tastes awh with the Interests of the people at large. Her Majesty also commands that there' shall be no offering of the customary presents of silks and other thiugs by the Ministers, Provincial Governors, com-inander-in-oliiof and generals. During the last year special sums wore given from the privy purse for the relief of the poor in the Metropolitan Prefecture of Shuntein Fu, and Her Majesty oomraands that an annual donation of 20,000 taels be made to them in future from the same source. For the year of the celebration sho bestows a similar sum upon the poor of each province throughout the Empire, and desires that the high authorities shall take charge of it* distribution.—[London News.

A Curious Growth*. Curious growths on trees are often found by explorers passing through the woods; but seldom has a greater lusus nature been seen than one which‘is now in possession of Andrew Irving, of Pembroke, near Ottawa. The growth bears an extraordinary resemblance to a squaw’s head, and is a portion of the limb of a birch tree which grew out of au Indian grave many years ago on Allumette Island. The features of Ibe squaw’s face are well defined, a growth around the forehead and chin being raised above the features as if by a covering of cloth used for winter protection. A portion of the original bark ia still ou the cranium. About three feet of the branch has been sawed off, making with the head a. ponderous staff. From the appearance of the grave and the growth of the tree, the portrait must be at least 100 years old, and it ia believed that no (tenon, either Indian or white, could have produced so remarkable a work.

The First Elevator. We are now informed that the “lift” or “elevator,'’ the apparatus which takes us from the ground floor to the top of the house in a few seconds, is not a modem invention. An ingenious contrivance of a similar nature was coustructcd in the middle of the seventeenth century, In Paris, by a' man named Velayer, who called his invention a flying chair. Velayer’s lift was not merely a toy; it became very fashionable among rich peopleon account of its utility. It was simply a chair attached to a rope, which was passed over a pulley—or something which did duty for one—and had a weight at its other end to counterbalance the ehair and the occupant It continued in fashion ustil a mishap occurred to the king’s daughter at Versailles. On one occasion the machinery failed to work when she was half way up, and there she stuck for three good hours before she could be rescued by her servants, who had to break away the wall to release her. “Flying chairs” were not mftch used at the court afterwards. AU traces of mud may be removed from black goods by rubbing the stains with a piece of raw potato.