Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 September 1893 — An Unlooked-for Customer. [ARTICLE]

An Unlooked-for Customer.

Theophrastus Escuiapius Stubbe, proprietor of the “Universal LifeEverJasting Golden Bitters,” was in his office, and about him were gathered an eager group, listening to an account of the wonderful cures he had wrought with his medicine. By and by a man in somber garb—a thin, pale-faced man, sedate and melancholy—entered the office ana inquired for the proprietor. “I am the man,” said Theophrastus Escuiapius Stubbe, with dignity. “You are the proprietor of the “Universal Lite-Everlasting Golden Bitters?” said the pale visitor. “1 am. How can I help you?” “I have come to sec if I couldn’t 4et, you to establish an agency for your bitters in our town. i want you to send a smart man—one whocan sell a large quantity of your medicine.” Theophrastus rubbed his lianas and smiled exultingly. “You see,” pursued the somber visitor, “my business is getting dull, xnd I thought with your help we might revive it.” “Can’t you take the agency yourself, my friend?” asked the greatStubbe. “No, no,” said the melancholy man, with a shake of the head. Tt wouldn’t do for me. People might think that I was interested!” “Ah! What is your business?” “1 am an undertaker!”