Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 June 1893 — HUMOR OF THE WEEK. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR OF THE WEEK.

STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Mmoy Odd, Cartons, and Uajhifels Phases of Homan Nature Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Wold Artists el Our Ovu Day. Wad* of Way down ITlt. It takes the professional fisherman to tell catchy yarns.-—Troy Telegram. Heir - raising Intelligence “Triplets at your house.”—Boston Courier. Jagson says it is astonishing how bad most good fellows are.—Elmira Gazette. ith the expert tailor taking one’9 measure is largely a matter of form. —Troy Press. “I’ve got the drop on you,” said the ink-bottle to the new carpet.— Rochester Chronicle.

All work and no play makes the girl with a -piano popular next door. —Binghamton Leader. It is a strong boarder who can eat three plates of bash without turning a hair.—Boston Courier. Too many bright young men try to make their conversation spicy with cloves.—Galveston News. A gun is quite human in one respect It generally kicks when it is discharged.—Rochester Democrat No changes made in the postoffiee will ever make some males more regular than they are now.—Philadelphia Times. Every man “has bis influence,” but sometimes has a hard time to find it when he is in a hurry.—Cleveland Piaindealer. One of the poets says we can’t live without cooks and many ladies say they can’t live with them.—Philadelphia Times. Tiie fellow who bet on a popular oarsman and got stuck says there’s always a thorn to the rows.—Binghamton Leader. That a talent for money-making isn’t always a good thing many an imprisoned counterfeiter can testify.— Buffalo Courier. “I will now attend to this writ of attachment,” said the young lawyer who was composing a love letter.— Washington Star. Preventing locomotives smoking in the city streets doesn’t imply trying to stop their “chew-chewing.”— Philadelphia Times. Caduy —l’d like to marry Miss Riche on one account. Fadby-WWhat is that? Cadby—Her bank account. —Harvard Lampoon.* When it comes to dime museum attractions the fat woman can put the living skeleton in the shade every day.—Elmira Gazette.

Did the term “Woolly West” originate in the unpleasant fact that mmy an investor has been fleeced there?—Lowell Courier. “Captain, why do they distribute liquor to sailors on shipboard? “Well, you know, every Jack should have his gill."—Philadelphia Record Miss Ricketts —Why don’t you marry Mr. Munn? Arc your parents opposed to it? Miss Giddy—No, but Mr. Munn seems to be.—Vogue. At a Chicago ball: Porker —Sir, what do you mean by walking over that lady-’s foot? New-Yorker— Thunderation, mau, do you think I’ve got wings? Preceptor —Of course you want to go to heaven, Willie? Willie—l should say not. I ain’t enough stuck on pulling off grandpa’s boots for that. —Detroit Tribune. Little Boy —The hens out West must be awful little. Mamma—Why so? Little Boy—Uncle John says he’s seen hail-stones there as large as lien’s eggs.—Good News. In spite of the fact that indelible ink has been found in banana juice, every one who steps on the peel is inclined to do considerable remarking.—Chicago Inter Ocean. It’s a big job to lick the Columbian stamps, but this country can do it. It was a bigger job to lick King George's stamps in the revolution, but still we got there. —Philadelphia Times.

“I want,” said the astronomer, “an inscription for my new telescope which shall be in the nature of an address to the stars.” “How would •Here’s looking at you’ do?”—Buffalo Express. “How siiall I enter the money the cashier skipped with?” asked the bookkeeper. “Under the profit and loss?” “No; suppose you put it under running expenses.”—Society Journal. Sufficient Evidence. —Sambo— “Whar you get dat chicken?” Mark Antony—“Xebber you mind 'bout dat chicken. ’Taint yours." “How you know ’taint?” “’Cause I found hit in youah coop.”—New York World. Do you think because a young woman always appears neat and tidy that she spends the greater part of her time with thread and needle. Before coming to this conclusion it is well to examine her mother’s left forefinger.—Boston Transcript