Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 June 1893 — Too Mortuary. [ARTICLE]

Too Mortuary.

A Congressman tells this story: “When I was about 30 I hung out my shingle in a small town in a Southern State, and, being Irom the North, I dicl not receive at first the agreeablo recognition I expected. One blatherskite of a fellow made himself so obnoxious that one day I slapped his jaws. I was feeling pretty good when I was knocked out by receiving a challenge from Mr. Blatherskite. I tried to get out of it some way, but couldn't, and finally accepted his ci allenge and chose double-barreled shot guns at ten paces, I didn’t hear anything from my man for twenty-four hours, and then I had a personal call from him. ‘I have come in,’ he said, after a lew preliminary remarks, ‘to make a statement about this duel. What I’ve got to say is that shot-guns are too doggoned mortuary for me, and if you have no objection, I’ll apologize and call it square.’ I accepted the situation graceful!}*, and ever after Mr. Blatherskite was most respectful.”