Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 June 1893 — Page 6

*'•: »" •'• . v v ~ “ 1 ■ ]£* ' E&t JltraorrotirScntiiifl RENSSELAER, INDIANA. 9. W. HcEWEN, - - Publishes.

HOME OF “MOONSHINE.”

■STILLS HUNTED OUT BY REVE- ‘ NUE OFFICERS. Service in Which They Are Engaged by Uncle Sam — Moonshining on tbe Increase in the Mountains One* Vourth. of Kentucky’s Whisky Outpqt Illicit. Foes of Illicit Distillers*

PIKEYILLE, •J® kS Ky., corregjßfA spondent o f Bpfju th e Chicago sgpftJ Times says Hlpf that many changes have recently been 2 s made in the revenue officers of the

State, and, when the interests of the •moonshiner" of the mountains of Eastern Kentucky are involved the entire community is more or less effected. While the element actually -engaged in the illicit distillation of whisky is an inconsiderable portion -of the inhabitants of this section of the South, it is hardly an exaggeration to estimate those indirectly connected with the traffic at 50 per cent, of the people. For this reason the ■entire valley of the Big Sandy, extending over the watershed of the Cumberland into the “knobs” of East Tennessee, have been awakened to 'the fact that many new faces have been recently introduced into the ranks of the small army of Federal officials engaged in destroying illicit -stills and chasing the dangerous individuals who operate them in the Kentucky mountains. Kentucky is srecognized in Federal circles as the legitimate field of the class of offenders commonly known as “moonohmers”—those who manufacture and sell whisky without complying with the regulations of the government relating to the tax on the product of the stills. Wliat Made the Moonshiner. Before the expenses incurred by die Government in the civil war ren-

AL AND HENRY HENDERSON.

dered the tax on spirits necessary, private stills in Kentucky were considered quite essential, and it was the boast of many of the historic characters of the State that the finest article their sideboard afforded was the product of grain raised and manufactured wholly on their plantations. When the tax on distilled spirits in 1861 was suddenly increased from 10 , (Cents per gallon to $1.20 the idea of j -avoiding the collector of internal j revenue became an object to men ■who manufactured thousands of gallons of whisky for the country trade, j This drew the country manufacturer dnto the depths of the mountains and I was the death knell of private stills i conducted in an open way. This gave iairth to the “moonshiner.” The ueadiy conflicts that have tak- ' «n place between revenue officers aud the moonshiners in the mountains of Kentucky since the close of the war would till a dozen volumes and furnish some of the most thrilling stories of daring, desperate courage and cowardly assaults. To day the industry is in its zenith. The recent agitation on the subject of increasing the tax on whisky, thereby augmenting the profit of those who avoid paying the duty, has increased the force of illicit still workers until every secluded spot in the Kentucky mountains is. concealing one or more unali stills which are being operated day and night. The favorite locations of these stills are on the bluffs overlooking tbe Big Sandy River and 4&s branches, to which access is diffi-

cult and probably known to none out those residing in the neighborhood. There is little danger of the native Kentuckian betraying to prying revenue officials thd knowledge they Though in later years the business of illicit distilling has grown in sufficient proportions as to be regarded In the light of a distinct industry in the mountain regions of Kentucky, the crudeness of a quarter of a century ago continues to characterize the manner in which the alcohol is -separated from the whisky. And yet the art of distilling has rapidly advanced among Southern moonshiners, «s even a novice can attest on sampling the article turned out by the mountain still of to-day and that of « few years ago. How ‘‘Moonshine*’ Is Mat’.e. The still consists of an immense oven constructed of stone, on which * large covered iron kettle is placed. •From this leads a small iron or copper pipe, through which the vaper escapes into a vessel, after being con deoscd by passing through a coil of pipe. The eutirc outfit can be pur--chased for SSO. The quality is determined by the skill manifested in leaping a regular fire under the kettle- If the heat becomes too intense, 4listillatioQ occurs too rapidly. Then

the output of the still becomes bitter, due to the great quantity of fusel oil secured. To remedy this, the liquor must be redistilled or be permitted to stand for years until mellowed by age. From these crude stills whisky successfully competing with the finest .article manufactured by the trust is being daily produced. That the moonshiners are well organized and have a chief who directs ths, common affairs of the craft in the Kentucky mountains is no secret to the revenue officials. At present Joe Bowman, one of the best-known moonshiners in the South, occupies that position. He has had undisputed charge of this element in Eastern Kentucky for years. Skill with the rifle and innate shrewdness has thus far enabled Bowman to defy the Federal officials. Several times he has been cornered, and on such occasions his daring and disposition to die rather than be captured has always been too much for the detectives. He has been shot a score of times, and on such occasions disappears from his usual haunts for months at a time, but finally returns from his enforced

AN ILLICIT STILL IN FULL BLAST.

exile more active in getting the product of his stills to market than ever. The death of several revenue officers is charged to his ready rifle; but, whether justly, is a question, as the fight between the moonshiners and detectives usually occurs when a number are represented on both sides and the tiring is general. Under these circumstances, those familiar with the terrible contests assert that it is not pessible to tell who fired the fatal shots. Be that as it may, the chief of the moonshiners has been present when several deputy marshals have been killed in the mountains, and will stand an excellent chance of being hanged if ever captured. Tlie Intreplft Hendersons. It has been a few weeks ago only that nine detectives, making a raid in the mountains near the head waters of the Cumberland, where a number of stills operated by Bowman’s men arc known to be located, engaged for a tew hours in an animated encounter with the moonshiners' chief. The party was in charge of Harry and A 1 Henderson, two of the best revenue officers in the country. Bowman and three other moonshiners were surprised in a small glen in the mountains. The surprise was equally as great on the part of the officers, as no moonshiners were thought to be in that locality. Theofficers were on top of a hill overlooking the camp of the outlaws befoie either side was aware of the presence of-‘the other. The discovery was made by both about the same time. Tney were about 100 yards apart. The rifles of the moonshiners were leaning against trees some distance from where they were at work renovating an old still. The guns of the detectives were leveled in a moment and the outlaws called upon to surrender. Two of the men, observing the slight chance they had to escape, promptly threw up their hands. Bowman paid no heed to the challenge. He at once jumped for his gun. He was followed by his third companion. The posse opened fire on the two men. At the first tire the man who followed Bowman received a bullet in the leg that tumbled him over, but the chief was not touched apparently. He reached his gun, and (lodging behind a tree returned the j fire of the posse. This was characteristic of the man. He stood his i ground for several minutes, butnotic- ' ing that his companions w'ouid do nothing to save tnemselves he slowly

THE AWFUL FIGHT OF THE HENDERSON BROTHERS.

retreated into the mountains despite the efforts of his pursuers. He wounded two officers slightly. The Henderson boys sent the posse here with the prisoners and followed Bowman. Neither party dared expose sufficient of their persons to afford a target for a Winchester bullet, and the chase was slow. Bowman finally escaped after shooting the hat off A 1 Henderson’s head at a distance of 200 yards. The Henderson brothers are the heroes of a number of exciting conflicts with moonshiners. The last fatal affair of the kind in which they figured prominently occurred near Cumberland .Gap last fall, in which they, with three companion officers, were ambushed by ten moonshiners. Two moonshiners and one detective were killed in the fight. The revenue officers were accompanied by Bob Clay, who enjoys the distinction us being the only negro deputy tuar-

shal In the South. He has earned the reputation of being a most efficient officer by several years’ experience in Kentucky and Tennessee, during which time he has found it necessary to kill several moonshiners, and carries several testimonials of the esteem of Bowman and his men in the shape of gunshot wounds. An Awful Fight. The fight in which the Hendersons and their negro deputy distinguished themselves particularly was the sequel of a raid they had made In tho mountains of Northeastern Tennessee a few months before, in which they had surprised several moonshiners at w-ork and captured them and destroyed their stills with a quantity of illicit liquor. In return ten of the friends of the prisoners watched their chance and surprised the Henderson brothers as they were en route to their home in Kentucky. They were riding along the mountain road, when they were suddenly fired upon from the timber a hundred yards away. Their horses were' killed at the first fire and one of ihe brothers shot in the arm. The other was

caught beneath his horse and could scarcely manipulate his rifle. He was doing his best to keep their assailants at a distance, when the negro Clay and two other officers riding in the rear heard the firing and lost no time in coming to the rescue. The outlaws were closing in on the Henderson brothers when their companions came up. One of the officers was killed a moment later, but tho intrepid manner in which Clay and his companion charged the ambuscade compelled the moonshiners to retreat. A 1 Henderson succeeded in extricating himself from his dead horse about the time the re-enforcements arrived, and, springing on the horse of the man who had been killed, joined in the chase of the enemy. He killed one and wounded two

JOE BOWMAN, CHIEF OF THE MOONSHINERS.

others, while his negro companion shot one fatally and captured another. In the fight both the Hendersons were shot almost fatally. I’robably one of the most efficient assistants Uncle Sam has in suppressing illicit distilling is a young lady of this vicinity, Miss Hattie Hart She is a school teacher, and knows every glen and cavern in eastern Kentucky, having spent much time in the woods with her father. She furnishes revenue officers all the information in her possession on all occasions. She is a typical Kentuckian, and declares that she is opposed to moonshining because she knows it is productive of evil. She is the only person in the State who ever defied this lawless element and lived unmolested. Sho

has frequently been warned to leave the country, hut merely laughs at the threats of the moonshiners. The efforts of the revenue force in Eastern Kentucky appear at present to be directed more against preventing the moonshiners marketing the product of their stills than toward destroying the source. The new officer in command in this district, Col. John D. Edwards, has declared hi/ intention of deviating from th< course adopted during the last twenty years in dealing with illicit distillers, and threatens the source through which their whisky is placed before the consumer. The usual course is to ship it down the Big Sandy in flat boats to the Ohio, where secret agents see that it is distributed all over the country. This channel is to be closely watched in the future as an experiment. Time will change everything but a counterfeit dollar.—Elmira Gazette.

SECOND-SIGHT SHOOTING.

An Old Marksman’* Sad Shot at a Fleeing Convict. One night an old fellow came to the stockade where the convicts were penned and said that he had heard that more guards were needed. “We do need more guards,” the Superintendent replied, “but do you think that you can serve our purpose?” “Yes, I think I can.” “But you’ie pretty old.” “I know that, but I've got my second sight, and I can shoot a gun about as well as I ever could, and that’s one of the main requirements, I reckon.” “Ves; ihc orders are strict —shoot any convict that attempts to get away. But it strikes me that you are a little too old.” The old fellow stood under a lamp swinging from a crossbeam in the guardroom. His gray whiskers and his white hair, catching the moving j light and the following shadow, gave him a weirdly venerable look. “Now, you may think I'm too old, hut I’m not,” he urged. “I’ll Kill any man that tries to get away; and not only this, if they sho Id try to over# power me they'll find me the handiest man with a gun they ever saw. Cap'n, 1 wish you’d give me the place, for I need it. Somehow I haven't the heart to do much of anything, and for a good while I have just been drifting from one place to another. Family’s all gone—wife’s dead, and my children are scattered everywhers. Give me the place, Captain, and I’ll do my duty.” “What is your name?” “Well, I have been called ‘Old Ambrose’ so long that I hardly know what my other name is. Reckon you’d better call me Old Ambrose.”

“I don't know whether to take you or not, Mr. Ambrose.” “Old Ambrose, if you please.” “All right then, Old Ambrose. As I was saying, I don’t know whether to take you or not. A number of convicts have got away lately, and the lessee is held responsible, and he, of course, looks to me.” “Didn’t I tell you I'd got my second sight?” “Yes, that’s all very well, but still lam afraid. But wc do need another man. Are you willing to get up mornings at 5 o’ clock?” “My dear sir, I can’t sleep after 4 o’ clock.” “You can stand a diet of corn bread and beef?” “My dear sir, wheat bread gives me dyspepsia, and beef is my only meat. ” “All right, Mr. Ambrose ” “Old Ambrose, sir.” “All right then, Old Ambrose. I’ll try you for a while, any way. Tomorrow morning you will go with a gang to the second embankment, about two miles from here, and you’ll have to get up earlier than 5 o’clock.” “All right, sir.” “And 1 think you’d better turn in now, so as to get enougli sleep.” “I will, sir.” “By the way, your gun’s in the corner.”

“Thank you, sir.” Early the next morning the old man moved out with the squad, and just before the embankment was reached he thus addressed a brother guard: “I hate to do this kind of work, but the truth is I’m hardly fit for anything. I’ve traveled two hundred miles since 1 had a regular job, and I made a dead set at this one. and I'm going to keep it if I can. I reckon ail a man lias before him is his duty, and I never had my duty to scare me yet. I hope I won’t have to shoot at one of these convicts, for, as I said last night, I’ve got my second sight, and a man that ever could shoot can shoot better than ever when his second sight comes.” Old Ambrose stood at one end of the embankment It was just about daylight. Suddenly a convict fell, rolled down the embankment, and then, springing to his feet, made a break for a wood not a great distance away. “Halt!” Old Ambrose cried. The convict paid no attention. Three times did Old Ambrose cry halt, and then fired. The convict fell. “You got him,” said the construction boss, coming forward. “Yes, and I know he’s done for. I was going to shoot him in the leg, hut just as I pulled the trigger he stepped in a low place. I’m going over to see the poor fellow.” The construction boss went with him. It was now broad daylight. The convict lay on his face. The construction boss turned him over. “Merciful God!” Old Ambrose cried, sinking upon his knees. It was his son.—Chicago Journal.

ANIMAL CENSUSES.

A. Fhase of the Population Question but Seldom Considered. We are accustomed to take into consideration the population of a country or town in thinking or speaking of it, but we consider this matter from a somewhat restricted—that is, a human—point of view. If we looked at it from an equine point of view, and considered countries and cities as to their horse population, these regions and places would be changed about a great deal in rank and importance. Populous countries would all at once become thinly inhabited, and certain great cities would disappear from the face of the earth. Thus it would be, alto, if we looked at the matter from tbe mule’s or the pig’s or the sheep’s point of view. Certain cities of Eastern Asia, for instance, have no horses at all. The Tuamotu archipelago, which extends in the Pacific Ocean a distance of fifteen hundred miles, is put down in the official publication of the United States Department of Agriculture on the farm animals of the world as possessing only two horses. They must be lonesome animals indeed, unless they are so fortunate as to have the same owner. The most populous horse country in the world is Russia in Europe. It has twenty millions of horses. The United States comes next, with a horse population of more than sixteen millions. In proportion to the number of inhabitants, the United States is far richer in horses than Russia. But in that proportion the United States is in turn far surpassed by the Argentine Republic, where, according to

the latest accessible figures, there are a few more horses than people. The countries of Western and Southern Europe are thinly populated with horses, compare l with the American continent and Russia. Italy, with a human population of more than thirty millions, has only seven hundred and twenty thousand horses. But it has almost twice as many mules and donkeys as horses. Spain has only a few more than three hundred thousand horses, or about one horse to every sixty people. Most of the “cavaliers” of Spain ride on donkeys. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland has only about two million horses.

The United States is th ; most populous mule country in the world. It is also, by many millions, the most populous pig country, possessing over forty-six millions of swine. There is here also a larger proportion of pigs to the human population than in any other country—larger even th in ip Ireland, a country which is popularly but mistakenly supposed to be the Utopia of the pig. The country of the sheep, par excellence, is Australia. On that continent there are a few more than three million people, but there are sixty-two million sheep—that is to say, twenty sheep to every man, woman and child. In the United States we have only about forty-seven million sheep, which, though a larger sheep population than that of any other country except Australia and the Argentine Republic, is not proportionately so great a number as several other countries possess. British India has more cattle than any other country, but the United States has almost as many—upwards of fifty-two millions. However, the Argentine Republic again leads in the number of cattle in proportion to human beings. If the cattle in Argentina were divided equally among all the people, every man, woman and child would have five cattle to take care of, and there would be enough left to give one additional “critter” each to almost a million of the people. Considered from the point of view of farm animals, the Argentine Republic is probably the most important country in the world.

Such Fun Too Costly Now.

Popping at a man with a pistol because you do not happen to like him is going to have in the future some disagreeable consequences. In the good old times if the man shot at got hit and the doctors cut him up and killed him, there would follow a trial, of course, and some inconvenience to the shootist, but acquittal usually was the result, and the shootist bore thereafter all the honors custom decreed one who bad “killed his mam” Those good old times are gone, however, for the United States District Court in Mississippi has stepp.d to the front and put a price on killing or trying to kill a man that will be prohibitory. As related by the Mobile Register it happened this way: “James A. Mayfield, James H. and George D. Sisk met one J. M. Ross in Amory, Miss., two years ago and filled him to the muzzle with cold lead bullets. They did not like Ross, so they loaded him . with lead arid tried to sink the life out of him. Ross, however, managed to pull through and did not die: on the contrary he lived to bring suit in a United States Court, demanding that his assailants pay him 810,000 damages done to his anatomy by the coid lead they had sprinkled into him There was a hot legal contest, with talented lawyers on both sides, John M. yien, of Tunica, appearing for the defendants and J. 11. Watson, of Memphis, for the plaintiff, and the jury, after two hours’ deliberation, brought in a verdict for Ross for the full amount claimed. People may judge wh it a catastrophe this proved to he for the defendants by the fact that as soon as the verdict was rendered they made a general assignment for the benefit of all their creditors.

How to Fumigate a Room.

The proper way to fumigate a room is to close the doors, windows, tireplace, etc., pasting strips of paper over all the cracks. Fumigation by burning sulphur is most easily accomplished. Two pounds of sulphur should he allowed for every room from ten to twelve feet square. It is better to divide it up and put it in several pans, rather than burn the entire quantity of sulphur used in one pan. To avoid the danger of fire, these pans should be set on bricks, or in other and larger pans filled with water or with sand. After pouringa little alcohol on thesulphur and properly placing the pans about the room, the furthest from the door of exit should be lighted first; the others in order. The operator will need to move quickly, for no one can breathe sulphurous flames with safety. After closing the door, the cracks around it should be pasted up, as was done within the room. Six hours at least is generally necessary to fumigate a room properly; at the end of that time it may be entered and the windows opened; and they should be left open as long as is convenient, even for a week if possible. After fumigation, a thorough process of cleaning should be instituted. At least the walls and ceiling should be rubbed dry; much the better way is to whitewash and re-paper. The floor and the woodwork and the furniture should be scrubbed with a solution of carbolic acid or some other disinfectant.

A Salt Water Bath at Home.

A cup of rock salt added to the water for a cold or cool bath will lessen the shock to persons who can not take a plain cold bath, and will also refresh and invigorate one much like a sea bath. Dissolve the salt thoroughly In the water. This is more quickly done in warm water than cold; hence it can be done i-n a bowl, then poured into the cold bath. A warm salt water bath, from 83 to 90 degrees, will induce sleep in a restless or feverish child. Add a cup of salt to six gallons of water, not rinsing the skin afterward, but rubbing it down with the hands. “llow did our brother, the editor, die?" “Dead game.” “But I mean spiritually?" “Chock full.”—Atlanta Constitution

OLD ST. DAVID’S.

1. Church with an Interesting History and Many Memories. In 1685 there cauie from Radnorshire, Wales, a company of people who settled in Pennsylvania at a spot they called Radnor Valley. Here in a sheltered dale they erected what is now one. of the oldest churches in this country, a building whose aged walls are covered with a luxuriant growth of ivy, and which is surrounded by venerable oaks of two centuries’ growth. Tradition says the first church on this site was built of logs, but the present stone cliflce dates from May 15, 1715. No pews were at first provided, but everyone was at liberty to carry his own chair or stool. Afterwards the custom arose of selling fioar spaces on which purchasers might erect pews to suit their individual fancy. ' There is a decided flavor of primitive times in the tradition that in this building the Colonists assembled to take measures for resisting an anticipated attack by the Indians under Pontiac. Revolutionary memories

OLD ST. DAVID’S CHURCH.

also cluster around it Like the great majority of the Church of England clergy of that period the rector, in conformity with the liturgy, continued to read the p-rayefs for the King and royal family, which caused so much dissatisfaction that he was obliged to resign “on account of age and infirmities.” At this same time the lead in the window sashes was converted into bullets and the communion service, given by good Queen Anne, was carried off. The sons of liberty had little respect for anything belonging to the Church of England. Sixteen unknown dead from the battle of Brandywine are said to have been buried near the gallery steps, and the superstitious inhabitants used to tell doleful sterics of ghostly visitors in tattered regimentals seen wandering nightly in the ancient churchyard, in this yard lie the remains of Gen. Anthony Wayne, over which was erected the handsome monument dedicated July 4, 1809. Propositions have been made in recent years to reconstruct and modernize this ancient building, but happily a sentiment has prevailed against any change. The quaint features of the venerable pile command the reverence and respect of a large element of the parishioners. No church in America possesses a more unique history. Established during the reign of William 111., it is closely connected with many stirring events in this country's history, and it is one of the few structures we possess which have stood unscathed by the ravages of time and the hand of the iconoclast.

LOGGING CAMP AT THE FAIR.

Life of Michigan Lumbermen Represented In a Unique Cabin. A logging camp is to be seen at the World’s Fair grounds, just west of the Live Stock Building. It forms a rude but attractive picture, buried away as it is between tall and glistening buildings. The camp belongs to the Michigan exhibit fond is considered one of the glories of the Wolverine State. Standing on a mt, 22 by 78 feet, its thick logs seem to hold the earth in their firm grasp. Wild forest scenery only is needed to make the logging camp realistic as well as

MICHIGAN'S LOGGING CAMP.

picturesque. Lying near it is a low wagon holding 36,050 feet of timber. This load is one of the biggest shipped out of Michigan on one car. The logs are arranged in the form of a pyramid thirty feet high, and in the most airy way possible. But for the thick chains hound in and out of the logs one could imagine the heaps toppling over at the slightest breath. Some of the logs measure three feet in diameter.

The Lucie Glacie .

The most novel and interesting feature in the Lucie Glacier, Alaska, as described by Mr. Israel C. ltussell, is a glacier river which bursts from beneath a high archway of ice, and flows for about a mile and a half through a channel excavated in the ice, then to enter the mouth of another tunnel and become lost to view. The stream is swift, and its waters are brown and heavy with sediment. Its breadth is about, one hundred and fifty feet. For the greater part of its way, where open to sunlight, it flows between banks of ice and over an icy floor. Fragments of its banks and portions of the sides and roof of the tunnel from which it emerges are swept away by the swift current or stranded here and there in midstream. The archway under who h the stream disappears is about fifty feet high, and the tunnel retains its dimensions as far as one can see by looking in at its mouth. Where the stream emerges is unknown. Maryland has a sect numbering 2,000, whose principal claim to individuality Is that members believe, and state vociferously, that they live without sinning. Neighbors, who have observed the sect with some care, believe that it labors under error. People who do not sin in any particular are so scattered among the asylums of the country that 2,000 of them could hardly he together in Maryland.

HUMOR OF THE WEEK.

STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Mmoy Odd, Cartons, and Uajhifels Phases of Homan Nature Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Wold Artists el Our Ovu Day. Wad* of Way down ITlt. It takes the professional fisherman to tell catchy yarns.-—Troy Telegram. Heir - raising Intelligence “Triplets at your house.”—Boston Courier. Jagson says it is astonishing how bad most good fellows are.—Elmira Gazette. ith the expert tailor taking one’9 measure is largely a matter of form. —Troy Press. “I’ve got the drop on you,” said the ink-bottle to the new carpet.— Rochester Chronicle.

All work and no play makes the girl with a -piano popular next door. —Binghamton Leader. It is a strong boarder who can eat three plates of bash without turning a hair.—Boston Courier. Too many bright young men try to make their conversation spicy with cloves.—Galveston News. A gun is quite human in one respect It generally kicks when it is discharged.—Rochester Democrat No changes made in the postoffiee will ever make some males more regular than they are now.—Philadelphia Times. Every man “has bis influence,” but sometimes has a hard time to find it when he is in a hurry.—Cleveland Piaindealer. One of the poets says we can’t live without cooks and many ladies say they can’t live with them.—Philadelphia Times. Tiie fellow who bet on a popular oarsman and got stuck says there’s always a thorn to the rows.—Binghamton Leader. That a talent for money-making isn’t always a good thing many an imprisoned counterfeiter can testify.— Buffalo Courier. “I will now attend to this writ of attachment,” said the young lawyer who was composing a love letter.— Washington Star. Preventing locomotives smoking in the city streets doesn’t imply trying to stop their “chew-chewing.”— Philadelphia Times. Caduy —l’d like to marry Miss Riche on one account. Fadby-WWhat is that? Cadby—Her bank account. —Harvard Lampoon.* When it comes to dime museum attractions the fat woman can put the living skeleton in the shade every day.—Elmira Gazette.

Did the term “Woolly West” originate in the unpleasant fact that mmy an investor has been fleeced there?—Lowell Courier. “Captain, why do they distribute liquor to sailors on shipboard? “Well, you know, every Jack should have his gill."—Philadelphia Record Miss Ricketts —Why don’t you marry Mr. Munn? Arc your parents opposed to it? Miss Giddy—No, but Mr. Munn seems to be.—Vogue. At a Chicago ball: Porker —Sir, what do you mean by walking over that lady-’s foot? New-Yorker— Thunderation, mau, do you think I’ve got wings? Preceptor —Of course you want to go to heaven, Willie? Willie—l should say not. I ain’t enough stuck on pulling off grandpa’s boots for that. —Detroit Tribune. Little Boy —The hens out West must be awful little. Mamma—Why so? Little Boy—Uncle John says he’s seen hail-stones there as large as lien’s eggs.—Good News. In spite of the fact that indelible ink has been found in banana juice, every one who steps on the peel is inclined to do considerable remarking.—Chicago Inter Ocean. It’s a big job to lick the Columbian stamps, but this country can do it. It was a bigger job to lick King George's stamps in the revolution, but still we got there. —Philadelphia Times.

“I want,” said the astronomer, “an inscription for my new telescope which shall be in the nature of an address to the stars.” “How would •Here’s looking at you’ do?”—Buffalo Express. “How siiall I enter the money the cashier skipped with?” asked the bookkeeper. “Under the profit and loss?” “No; suppose you put it under running expenses.”—Society Journal. Sufficient Evidence. —Sambo— “Whar you get dat chicken?” Mark Antony—“Xebber you mind 'bout dat chicken. ’Taint yours." “How you know ’taint?” “’Cause I found hit in youah coop.”—New York World. Do you think because a young woman always appears neat and tidy that she spends the greater part of her time with thread and needle. Before coming to this conclusion it is well to examine her mother’s left forefinger.—Boston Transcript

Scrubbing the Floor.

i: n incident is told by Dr. Scoffern wh ch illustrates in a pleasant way the guod humor and geniality which belonged to Michael Faraday as much during his later as his earlier years. Professor Brande, during the year 1851, was lecturing at one time on a newly discovered method of purifying sugar by sugar of lead; while they were in the laboratory Scoffern accidentally let fall a retort of corrosive liquid. In an instant, he tells us, Professor Faraday threw some soda on the floor; then down on his hands and knees he went, slop-cloth in hand, like any humble housemaid. “Laughing, I expressed my desire to photograph him then and there; he demurred at the pose, begged me to consult his dignity, and began laugjiing with a childish joyousness.” Hilariously Doyish upon occasion he could be, and those who knew him best knew he was never more at home and never seemed so pleased as when making an “old boy” of himself, as he was wont to say, lecturing before a juvenile audience at Christmas time.