Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 May 1893 — Page 6

®|je ilcmocrflticScutincl RENSSELAER, INDIANA. jr, W. McEWEN’, - • - Publisher.

ZANTE'S AWFUL FATE.

BEAUTIFUL ISLAND RUINED BY AN EARTHQUAKE. Paradis ? of the lonian Group the Center of ah Eruption—Hundreds of Lives Lost and the Chief City Rendered Uesolate—The Calamity Foretold. A Frightful Catastrophe. Zante, the largest and most beautiful of the lonian Islands, recently experienced the most destructive earthquake that has ever visited the island. This is saying a great deal when it is considered that earthquakes of a serious nature are by no means uncommon in these regiops. The city of Zante sustained irreparable damage, as it seemed to be the very center of the upheaval. It may be a curious coincidence or ndt, -but it is very singular that Prof. Falb in liis prediction should have been so fatally correct. This gen-

tleman, who can now be considered an indisputable authority on earthquakes, had cautioned the people to be prepared for a shock, which he said would occur during or immediately following the total eclipse of the sun, which took place on the 17 th. The earthquake did arrive on the day designated, and the loss of life and property in consequence was appalling. The city is but little better than a huge ruin. The streets were made impassable and in most cases totally obliterated by the enormous masses of stone and timber from the wrecked houses. Hundreds of lives were lost. The night following the principal shock was marked

TENTS AFTER THE CATASTROPHE.

by tremblings of the earth and terrific noises, which almost frightened the life out of the people that remained id the city. Nobody dared to sleep, and there was the greatest lamentation and expression of grief on all sides. All open spaces were crowded with terror-stricken people. Invoking Aid from a Saint. The day after the church dignitaries held a solemn, imposing service, beseeching the intervention of St. Denis, patron saint of the island. The relics of the saint were placed In a gold case on a pedestal in view of the immense crowd kneeling on the bare ground. The greatest devotion was evinced, and the people seemed greatly pacified. The island of Zante or, as the Greeks call it, Zakynthos is by far the most beautiful of the lonian Islands. Nothing can surpass the loveliness of its scenery or the delights -of its exhilarating climate. Were it not for the periodically occurring earthquakes it could be con-

VIEW OF THE PORT.

sidered an ideal earthly paradise. This charming little spot seems to unite all the requisite conditions for an existence of unalloyed pleasure. Olives, oranges, the most delicious grapes and other tropical or semitropical fruits grow here in a riotous luxury. The only blemish in this ravishing picture is the fact that Zante is the very seat of volcanic eruptions which, from time immemorial, have persisted in upsetting one’s equilibrium as well as causing undesirable movements in real estate. The island, encompassed by an abrupt rocky coast, comprises an area of about 438 square kilometers and has some 44.000 inhabitants. The

AFTER THE EARTHQUAKE,

—■— capital bearing the same name is situated like an amphitheater at the foot of a hill on the eastern coast. A large citadel crowns the ton of the hill and the city is or, perhaps rather was the best and most substantially built city of all the lonian Islands. Chorche* in Ruing. It hat nearly seventeen thousand Inhabitants and is the see of a Greek archbishop and a Catholic bishop. It had a number of very handsome churches and other buildings, but most of these are now in ruins. All the prominent and historically inter-

Jesting structures are nothing ferns I heaps of stones and a chaos of broken i timber and twisted iron. Among i the mostqotqd buildings thus swept i away was the Church of St. Mark. ' This was a fine specimen of Venetian , architecture of the tenth century. : The ancient Venetian castle, splendidly situated far above the city, and which served as the residence of the

Governor of the island, isalso a thing of the past. This was one of the most charming spots in the island. The castle itself was built of heavy, richly ornamented blocks of marble, and contained treasures of old Gobelin tapestry, paintings and, above all, an almost priceless collection of rare Venet : an glass. The grounds about this place were laid out as a pleasure garden, almond,

GENERAL VIEW OF THE TOWN.

lemon, orange and pomegranate trees being planted in great abundance. Innumerable marble statues and splendid mosaics were scattered throughout the park at frequent intervals. All there is left of this is a heap of ruins and an area of blackened earth. The Governor himself barely escaped from being killed and was seriously wounded. There were exciting scenes at the jail and workhouse. The massive wall% caved in here and there and the frantic prisoners could be seen clinging to the window bars in desperation clamoring for help. The poor wretches that escaped from being crushed to death by the falling walls were unable to get out, as all doors bad become obstructed. The hospital was badly damaged, but the patients were rescued and taken to the residence of the Catholic bishop, whose house had escaped the general destru-tion. «• The number of ruined houses in Zante exceeds 3,000, and there is not a house left that is not more or less damaged. The damage done by the earthquake in the interior is incalculable. The shocks seem to have been greatest In the southeastern part of the island, near Cape Chien. Five of the most nourishing villages in this vicinity were wiped out entirely. Zante has frequently been the scene of severe earthquakes, notably those that occurred in February, 1042 and 1740, and in October of 1840. This year’s earthquakes have nevertheless been by far the most destructive, and it is a question whether Zante will ever recover from the

The proper arrangement of draughts for the ventilation of sleeping-rooms has perplexed all. One thing, however, is certain. It has been proved by actual experiment that a layer o( air lies against the walls which ia subject to very little movement even when there is a strong circulation in the middle of the room. It Is, therefore, important that abed should not be placed close to the wall. If kept there during the daytime, it should be moved at least several inches out into the room at night. Alcoves and curtains should be avoided. In an alcove inclosed on three sides a lake of air forms, which may be compared to the stagnant pools often observed along the margins of rivers. A few yards away a rushing tide may be moved swiftly along, but these placid pools fire unruffled by the current. While placing the bed, especially the head of jit, where it will be shielded from the strongest draught, there should stjll be enough motion to the air in that vicinity to Insure fresh supplies constantly throughout the night. The prevailing lack of appetite for breakfast, as well as many cases of anaunia and worse diseases, are due to the breathing over and over again of the same in-re-stricted bed-rooms, where beds are too often placed In alcoves or are shielded by curtains, which are far too seldom shaken out in the fresh air.

Nature Invariably does two things when she tries to grow a tree, she protects the bark from the hottest sunshine, and roots from severe changes of temperature. Both these points are invariably overlooked by man. Observe a maple or elm or birch as it shoots up from the ground. Its sides are clothed all the with small twigs, unless removed by knife or browsing. Any tree starting in an open lot is thus protected from the sun. Otherwise the extreme heat will rupture cells, and the bark will dry or split. As far as possible there must be equal development of cells on all sides of the tree. But care of the roots is even more important. The feeding of a .tree is at unequal depths, but most of it is near the surface. If the sun be allowed to strike directly on the soil the finer rootlets that do the foraging are destroyed, and extreme droughts will affect the roots for a foot in depth. What is worse, the extreme chang*s of temperature also affect the tree and suck its life away. In some cases such conditions are produced as encourage the development of fungi or other enemies to plant life. Nature guards against this by laying down each autumn a layer of leaves to emulch her forests or solitary pets.—St Louis Globe-Demo-crat

PRINCIPAL STREET.

Ventilation of Sleeping-Rooms.

Trees in Nature.

JUST A LITTLE TOO LATE.

A Tale with a Moral for Wanderers from ... ,7 r - Home. ■ It; was no vary exacting ambition that Robert Young’s mother had cherished all her life. She lived very quietly op the Western prairie farm to which ’ she and her husband had gone .together when they were both young. She did not expect to be rich, or even think about it. She was content i with the homely round of her daily life. Sometimes her husband used to soy that if they had only happened to go here or there, where some of the friends of his youth had found copper or silver, or struck oil, they also might have been worth millions; but the wife always answered, “It- wa’n’t to be, John, it wa’n't to be. And we’ve done pretty well, as things go; but I should ’a’ liked one good black silk dress.” This was the only wish that Robert Young had ever heard his mother express, and he used to say to himself when a hoy: “Bless the dear mother! She shall have it the very first money I earn.” Robert’s father, too, planned in his own mind the same thing; but one year the harvest turned out badly, and another-the children had diphtheria, and so it was that the good black silk had never been bought. It was a strange thing that the son of John and Itachel Young should have been an artist; but Robert began to draw before he could write, and at last he got hold of a box of colors through the kindness of one of his Sunday-school teachers, and then he made pictures that dazzled the eyes of his prairie neighbors. As he grew older he got orders for portraits from proud parents who were willing to give five dollars for a daughter’s or a son’s likeness; and he saved these small sums until, by the time he was eighteen, he had enough money to take him to Boston, where ho hoped to find a good teacher, and to do something really worth while. His struggle in the city was hard enough, Jto begin with. Every snowstorm was a friend to him, for wherever he shoveled off steps and sidewalks they were sure to want him again, he did his work so "cheerfully and so well. lie paid for his lessons by taking care of the studio of the artist under whom he studied. He was ready to do any honest thing to earn an honest;peuny, and at last, even In Bostoh, people found out that he had a special talent of his own, and began to IVqy ijvjs pictures. Them,were so many things at first to do with the money he earned! He must have a little studio of his own where people could come, and it would not answer for the artist who had his own studio to live like the youth who used to shovel off sidewalks. Ho did not forget the good black silk dress, or the mother who Was to wefir it; he only waited.

At last'came a spring when he had been fairly prosperous, and he planned to go home tor his mother's birthday in August, and to carry the dress with him. But just then he received an inVjtqtiion that flattered him. His former teacher was going to Ipswich for » summer of sketching, and asked Robert to go with him. It seemed an opportunity too good to be lost. So. he went to Ipswich, and the summer flew by as if on wings, and Robert did not go home in August; he only wrote a letter. It was October before he started for the far-off prairie farm. Once on his way, he hurried forward by night and day until he reached the little station that was nearest to his home. He had written when he should arrive, but jhe ; did not see his father waiting for him as he had expected. He felt a momentary sense of injury; but just then an old neighbor came up“l s’pose you might as well ride home ’long with me,” he said. “I told ’em I’d fetch ye, as long as yer pa couldn’t” “Couldn’t! Why?” “Waal, I sort ’er hate to tell ye, but yer mother she had a shock er palsy yesterday, and yer father don’t like ter leave her jest ylt.” There was a strange choking in Robert Young’s throat. The good black silk dress was in his valise, but he had brought it too late.

ON FIRE IN A CYCLONE.

The Frightful Peru of a Steamer During a Recent Transatlantic Trip. One of the most exciting and eventful voyages of the present exciting season at sea was concluded the other dhy when the steamship Cresswell reached her dock at Philadelphia, and Boatswain George Doeman was lifted into an ambulance and taken to the Pennsylvania Hospital. Capt. Ralston told a Times man the story of the voyage thus: “We left Hamburg March 16 and stopped at Dartmouth, England, and after taking on some World’s Fair goods started for Philadelphia. On March 28 a heavy gale sprung up and at noon the next day a terrific sea swept on board, carrying away the starboard lifeboat and captain's gig, and breaking in the engine-room skylight. On March 30 theatorm, which had lulled, .suddenly increased to a regular cyclone. In spitsfof the most clever steering one of the big seas toppled on board, stove; .wheelhouse and chartroom in, carried over four cases of goods for the Chicago fair and smashed in the after skylight. At the time all hands thought the Steamer must founder, as she had fallen off into the trough of theses She was rolling her lee the water pouring in through the broken skylights and threatening to put out the enginerdoto. sites. ’‘While in this precarious condition dtensp tolnmes or smoke were seen rolling up through the broken skylight and that cry which is far more appalling on board ship than on shore rang out amidst the tui moil of the elements, ‘Fire! Fire!’ I had good officers and a well-disciplined crewi I immediately ordered the boatswain to pipe all hands to fire drill. The men took their stations, md ip spite of the terrible peril from uhe elements the most perfect discipline was maintained and the fire was fougit with heroism. Those on shore can have but a faint Idea of our situation. A furious hurricane blowIngfthe steamer tossed to and fro like a toy boat in a whirlpool, huge cliffs of angry water upreariDg themselves all around us, and a raging fire in the coal bunkers. While fighting

the fire a furious blast ffom the southwest blew away our last remaining storm trysail with which we were trying to keep her head to the sea. After eight hours’ hard work the fire was put out, and then the exhausted crew sought to get some rest. “However, the storm, which had lulled, broke out with redoubled fury. On April 2 a sea came on hoard which resembled a tidal wave. It literally overwhelmed the steamer. All hands thought the vessel was gone. I was washed off the bridge, cabins were gutted and the forecastle skylight smashed. The starboard lighthouse was knocked into kindling wood and all remaining boats smashed. Boatswain George Doeman was found lying on the deck jammed in between the main funnel and some of the wreckage. He was lifted out and said, ‘I think my back’s broken,’ but, suddently recollecting a duty he was on when knocked over, he exclaimed: ‘Look to that mizzen stay; it’s nearly chafed though!’ Doeman’s thigh was broken. Several times other waves swept on board before the storm broke on the 3d. Thick fogs were encountered op the Bth and 9th inst., and twice-the vessel was nearly run down.”

ALEXANDER I. OF SERVIA.

A-Bixteen Year-Old Kin£ with a Man’s Head. Alexander,the “boy King” of Servla, whose recent coup d’etat has created quite a flurry In European politics, is a sou of ex-King Milan and ex-Queeu Natalie, and was born Aug. 14, 1876. He does not appear to have inherited the vices and weaknesses of his father, but is a manly young fellow, and has made a favorable Impression

KING ALEXANDER L.

wherever he has been. His life has been a stirring one. Ills associations have been almost entirely with men of affairs, and gray-haired professors at that, and at 16 he is older than a man of twice his years. It is generally believed that his bold stroke of defying the Regents, subsequently placing them under arrest and* proclaiming himself King, was inspired by Natalie, who has never forgiven the Regents for expelling her from the country.

Good Advice. Mr. Chauncey M. Depew has written for Donahoe’s Magazine an article in answer to the question, “Should young men go Into politics?” Mr. Depew answers no—that is, he strongly advises young men not to adopt politics as a career. But this answer is based upon present conditions—upon the low estate in which we find American politics to-day. How the tone of public life is to be raised unless young men of strong and conscientious patriotism and unselfishness enter it and strive to improve it, he does not tell us. Taking things as they are, however, this passage from Mr. Depew’s article is admirable; “Every young man should be interested in politics, and take as active a part in the political affairs of his neighborhood as the time at his disposal from his business will permit. He should belong to some party and understand its principles. He should attend Its caucuses, and do such party service as he can. He should never fail to vote on election day; when there are movements on foot for reforms necessitated by corruption, or to put bad men out of office, he should be on hand and ready to fight for the redemption of his city, town or State. ”

Not to .Blaine. Sir Walter Trevelyan, who died in 1879 at the age of 82, had inherited an immense cellar of wines, said to have been then the rarest collection in the world. Some of the wines were' bottled in 1752, and others in 1777. But the baronet was himself a total abstainer, and bequeathed his wines to Dr. Richardson, bis colleague in temperance agitation, to be “employed for scientific purposes.” Sir Walter’s wife would have wine on the dinner-table. A visitor, after a glass of port from a bottle bought by the baronet’s father In 1784, offered to purchase the whole at a guinea a bottle. “No, sir,” said Sir Walter, “I mean to have the whole carried out some day and emptied into the Wansbeek.” One night Sir Walter had such a severe attack of the gout that he was obliged to ascend the stairs on his knees —he was too self-reliant to permit a servant to carry him. A friend suggested that he might console himself by reflecting that he was not to blame. “No!” he answered, “my father and grandfather drank the port, and I came in for the gout.”—Youth’s Companion.

Story of a Lustrous Diamond. One of the finest diamonds in the world was found not long since in the Brazilian sands. It _came in a novel form. A small quartz rock was found, about the size and shape of an egg, lying in the sand along the bank of the Amazon in Brazil. This Was carried home by a Brazilian peasant, who was attracted by its odd shape and light weight. For some time it lay in his home with a number of other geological specimens, a mere -curiosity. Happening one day in handling it to drop it on a stone block, it burst open and lay in halves on the block. The hollow interior that gave the light weight to the stone was tilled with blood red sand. In this sand lay the diamond, a sparkling stone of the rarest quality. The stone was later sold to a diamond merchant and left th* the finder exceedingly wealthy.

DECLINED TO BE DISCHARGED.

ri»e Colored Wood-Carrier of the Senate Hadn’t Time to Talk Nonwuse. One very humble office-holder of the Senate force will probably be left in his accustomed place. John Brown, the wood-carrier, is the most picturesque as well as one of the oldest attaches of the Senate. He wears a tall, shaggy cap, his clothes are the color of the wood he carries, and his face has the same mahogany hue. On his back and shoulders is a hod, like a large brick hod, always piled with such a load of wood that his old frame bends under it. The expression on his face has beeome stolid from hard work, and no one ever catches him smiling. He trudges in and out of committeerooms all day, and even on many a winter night till morning, to pile the wood that burns next day for the pleasure of Senators and their friends. There is an open fireplace in every committee-room, as without this the badly ventilated parts of the Capitol would be dangerous in their dampness. John Brown tends all the fires on the Senate side, and steals in and out of committee-rooms so quietly that he is hardly thought of; but Kate Field’s Washington says he is an artist at his trade and can make a fire burn when no one else is able to. Lately a woodpile fell on him, breaking his leg, and a few people who had an idea John Brown was getting old and useless found it took two young men to do his work, and then they growled all the time because they had too much to do. John has remained undisturbed for years in his place, no one having tried to oust him except once. Ser-geant-at-arms Bright once found the pressure upon him for places so great that in desperation he decided to discharge John. He sent for him and the old wood-carrier came shuffling in. “Yo’ want me, Mis tab Bright?” asked he. “Yes, John; I want to tell you I’m going to discharge you.” “What's dat, Mistah Bright? Discharge me? Oh, go ’long, Mistah Bright. I ain’t got time to talk wid you. Go ’long.” And John Brown put on his cap, shouldered his hod and shuffled out, still muttering that he had no time to talk of “sich trifling nonsense.” Mr. Bright was surprised, but that was the last attempt ever made to oust John, who is now considered indispen.^tble.

Good* But Not True. A story is widely quoted that Phillips Brooks, when about to graduate, went to the President of Harvard College for advice regarding the choice of a profession, and that the president said: “It is well, in such a case to lay aside impossible professions. Now, on account of the impediment in your speech, you could never preach.” This is so good a story that it is a pity to spoil it, but the Christian Union says that after the election of Mr. Brooks as bishop he was asked about its truth. “I did consult with the president," he answered, “and he encouraged me to choose the ministry; be did not tell me I could not preach because of my stammering, because I never did stammer, you know!” Then he spoke, with some amusement, of the permanence of such groundless reports, and said that he had that very week received a letter from an English boy who was a stammerer, and who begged to know, for his own sake, how Dr. Brooks had been cured. “1 shall have to tell him that I can’t help him at all!” he concluded, with a touch of i egret.

Fish Recognize Their Food* It is a well-known fact that seaanemones have a sense by which they recognize food. This has been studied lecently by Herr Nagel, at the Zoological Station, in Naples, and he has endeavored to localize it. Among other experiments a small piece of a sardine was brought carefully to the tentacles of one of the animals; the tentacle first touched, then others seized the food and surrounded it, and the morsel was swallowed. A similar ball of blotting paper, saturated with sea water, brought near in the same way, was not seized. If, however, the ball was soaked in the juice of fish it was seized with the same energy as the piece of fish, but often liberated again after a time without being swallowed. Blotting paper saturated with sugar acted like the other, but more weakly. If saturated with quinine, it was refused, the tentacles drawing back.

Treasure Trove. A curious story of treasure trove comes from Borne: “The Order of Benedictine Monks, while digging the foundation of their new monastery, on the Aventine Hill, which is to be dedicated to St. Stanislaus, fount! what they took to be an earthen pot full of common coins, w r hich the monks hawked about, selling them for a franc apiece. This fact would have passed unnoticed but the brethren quarreled over their booty and the police interfering captured over forty of the pieces out of the original 400 coins, which turned out to be gold medals of great value. Everybody connected with the find has been arrested except one workman, who managed to escape with sixty medals of the date of the second century, and struck by the senate and people of Borne in honor of the conquest of Armenia by Lucius Verus.”

Scaring Birds with Bell . ‘ Some of the farmers of the Eifel, the district that lies between the frontier of Belgium and the Bhine, adopt a novel plan for scaring the birds from the wheat. A number of poles are set in the corn fields, and a wire is conducted from one to another, just like the telegraph posts that are placed along our railways. From the top of each pole there hangs a bell, which is connected with the wire. Now, in the valley a brook runs along, with a current strong enough to turn a small water wheel to which the wire is fastened. As the wheel goes round it jerks the wire, and so tlie bells injthe different fields are set tinkling. The bells thus mysteriously rung frighten the birds from the grain, and even excite the wouder of men and women until they discover thersecreL This simple contrivance is found to serve its purpose very well

THE LIBERTY BELL.

Philadelphia to the World's Fair at Chiea go —Greeting. The dear old bell! that Jong ago Hang out tor freedom’s Jubilee! That high and low with joy should know The glorious truth—our land was free! The dear old bell we love so well. What wondrous things Its tongue might tell. Through changes o’er a hundred years This sacred trust, a treasure rare. Through tolls and tears, with hopes and fears, We’ve guarded well, with watchful care-* This dear old bell we love so well, Of war's dread conflict It could tell. Now as a talisman of peace i It journeys on from Stale to State; JK All discords cease, faith, love increase, While welcome greetings on It wait— The dbar old bell we love so well. Of “peace with honor” It shall telL

How eloquent! though silent now. And scarred and seamed; its motto grand, Like holy vow. upon Its brow. Proclaims throughout our blessed land Dear Libertyour guerdon now— The dear old bell we love so well, Of Liberty to all shall tell! No South, no North, hut freedom’s land, A union great, secure and strong; Now heart to heart, hand clasped In hand. Our voices raise one choral song— The dear old bell we love so well, Of ieace forever may It tell! God’s blessings go with (hee. old belli And thee again with joy restore; And time shall tell what magic spell. What golden fruit thy mission bore. The dear old be!l we love so well. What wondrous tblugs it yet may tell. -Philadelphia Ledger.

A QUAINT RELIC.

One of the First Railroad Engines Ever Constructed. An exhibit at the World's Fair which is sure to excite no little attention is the old veteran locomotive John Bull, one of the first locomotives Jn 1831 Eobert L. Stevens, founder of the Camden and Amboy Eailroad in New Jersey, gave George Stephenson an order for a locomotive and the John Bull was result. For many years the engine was in active service just as it appears to-day. Finally, however, it was relegated to the side track and then stored away at Bordentown,

THE OLD JOHN BULL.

where it remained until taken out and started on its trip to Chicago, where it is now on exhibition. Together with the quaint old engine Robert P. Burt, of Janesville, Wis., who was the first to run the John Bull on the Camden and Amboy Road, will be' in Chicago during the

Fair. Mr. Burt guided the first locomotive that ever ran in the United States. This was the Comet and was run from Tamaqua •to l’ort Clinton, Ohio, ‘on wooden rails. Soon after Mr. Burt entered the employ of the Camden and Amboy

ROBERT P. HURT.

Road and ran the John Bull over the first iron rails laid in this country. Ever since that time until a few years ago Mr. Burt has been active in the railroad service of one road or another, and he is regarded as probably the oldest manipulator of the throttle in the world. He is a native of Glasgow and was born in 1810, but since the age of 18 he has lived in this country. A Remarkable Find. A dispatch from Berlin states that the Ornithological .Society has discovered in New Zealand a living species of bird almost twice as large is the ostrich and hitherto supposed :o be extinct. When the British settled in New Zealand they found skeletons of a bird sixteen feet high. The Maori natives called it the moa

and said that generations before it abounded in the country. Some of the natives asserted that a few of the great birds existed in lonely and almost inaccessible parts of the New Zealand mountains. The Maoris slaughtered the birds in great numbers. It is one of these birds that the Ornithological Society lias discovered.

Jaw-Breakers. Various papers are giving a list of the eight longest words in the language, as follows: Philoprogenitiveness, incomprehensibleness, proportionableness, transu bstanti ationa bl eness, suticonstitutionalist, honoribilitudinity, velocipedestrianastical, and proautionsubstantionist. But the last four are not found in the best dictionaries. Gorgeous! Charlemagne wore on state occ& •ions a silk gown worth SB,OOO.

ODE BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. Join u< Jokelett that An Supposed to Have Been Recently Born—Sayings and Doings that Are Odd, Curious and Laughable, Let Us Laugh. Some people’s eyes are a regular pair of stares.—Rochester Democrat. A man with a million can’t very well help being a capital fellow.— —Troy Press. , A Bootless Attempt. —To get. upstairs without .being heard by your wife.—Texas Siftings. The man who was dissatisfied with the menagerie said it was a beastly affair.—Binghamton Leader. It wasn’t until woman started in to improve her mathematics that she began to count for much.—Troy Press. The assertion that a woman can’t keep a secret is disproven by the way a spinster holds her age.—Boston Courier. Jagson says if most men’s consciences should talk out loud they would be sued for slander.—Elmira Gazette. Dot (aged 6, on conclusion of song by celebrated tenor) —“Papa, did that man make all that noise on purpose?” —Tid-Bits. TnE sawmill sometimes impresses the operator which the fact that it has an “off-hand” way of doing things.— Boston Courier. When two people get mad at each other, each begins to think of how much he has done for the other.— Atchison Globe.

No, Maud, dear, the chickweed and the eggplant are not members of the same botanical family.—Philadelphia Record. Dashaway —I have just been up in the mountains for a little shooting. Cleverton—Any luck? Dashaway— One guide.—Life. “Wa§ the charity ball a success?” “Oh, my, yes. Our deficit was only S4O, and the Charity Society will have to pay it.”—Brooklyn Life. “You must have perseverance,” said the young physician’s friend. “No,” was the reply, “what I want is patients.”—Washington Star. “Oh, mamma,” said little Ethel the first time she saw a Chinaman, “look at the gentleman with his eyes cut bias.”—Washington Star. You can tell more about a man’s character by trading horses with him than you can by hearing him talk in prayer meetings.—Ram’s Horn. Tourist —l understand they raise pretty nearly everything in this county. Farmer—Everything but mortgages, pard ner. —Buffalo Express “I don’t loike ownin’ me own home,” said Pat, after a year of proprietorship. “It takes all the fun out of not payin’ rint.—Harper’s Bazar. A lady says that she could always knew when she had taken just too much wine at dinner—her husband’s jokes began to seem funny.—Siftings. A farmer who wished to enter some animals at an agricultural exhibition, wrote as follows to the secretary! “Enter me for a jackass.” —Tid-Bits. It doesn’t do to be too careful. The man who bit a quarter and found that it was bad, left it in such shape that he couldn’t pass it anywhere.—Puck. From a Last Will. —“My faithful servant Johann is to receive 2,000 empty wine bottles, the contents of which he drank during my lifetime.” —Fliegende Blaetter. Postal Cler^ —“Madam, this letter is over-weight.’’ Cora Spondence —“Why, how is that?’’ Postal Clerk —“You have put two Columbian stamps on it!”—Puck. “What is the name of that exQueen of Hawaii—l never can remember it?” asked one Philadelphian of another. “Liliokawanamaker,” said the other.—Truth.

Agi^es —Why don’t you break the engagement if he is so disagreeable to you? Mamie—Well, you see, he’s given me hardly any presents as yet. —Atlanta Constitution. The process of trying to get an office is. very simple. First, the applicants file their applications; then the party in authority polishes them off.—Philadelphia Times. Fitz— -What does R. S. V. P. stand for? Mac—Well, to judge by the conduct of some society people, I should say it means Bush in, Shake hands, Victual up, and Put!—Puck. BAgeeigh —lt’s my Opinion that Brown hasn’t half the brains he thinks he has. Wagleigh—Probably not, but did you ever think how nicely he could get along with even less than that.—Detroit Tribune.

An undertaker in Union, Tenn., recently used his hearse in pursuing his daughter, who had eloped with his assistant Could the undertaker overtaker is a problem left unsolved by the accounts. Philadelphia Ledger. Fair Client—“l want to get a divorce from my husband.” Chicago Attorney—“On what grounds?” Fair Client—“ Well, we were married ” Chicago Attorney—“ That’s all that is necessary. I’ll send you the decree C. O. D.”—Puck. Mrs. Fitts —“You write such short letters when you are away. I don’t see why you couldn’t write me nice long ones, as you did when we were engaged.” Mr. Fitts—“Honestly, my dear, I didn’t suppose you would have any time to read them. In the days when we were engaged you had no housework to do.”—lndianapolis Journal.

Too Much Curiosity.

The new servant girl came to the lady crying and holding on to her finger. “What's the matter?” asked the lady “I’ve run a fork into my finger, and if it’s this plated stuff I’ll get lockjaw.” “Don’t be afraid. All my silver is genuine. I don’t keep any plated ware in the house.” Next morning the servant girl and all the silver were missing, and the table ware was all plated for some time after, until the times were better.