Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 May 1893 — Page 6

gl)t llrmocrfltkSfntinrl RENSSELAER, INDIANA. j. W. McEWEN, - - Fptjjsheb.

BOYHOOD OF COLUMBUS

EVENTS THAT OCCURRED DyRING HIS YOUTH. * Famous Monuments that Were Begun In His Youth—The Ruees War and the Turks —Siege o!' Constan;iuopie—Building of the Bastile. Childhood of Old Chris. To realize how great have been the changes since the toypo.od o: the discoverer of the new world i 6 a matter of no little difficulty to people of the present time. Columbus was loin in 1445, four and a half centuries ago, but sin ?e that time the world has moved so fast and gone so far that, in po at of progress, the time of Pericles is not further removed from our own. The boyhood of the great navigator is, therefore, of interest to us, since the scenes he daily beheld, the topics he fc«ard lonstantly discussed, the events of his period, the customs of his contemporaries, are as

AN ANTWERP HOUSE—TIME OE COLUMBUS.

diverse as possible from those with which we are familiar, and, by comparison, the world of his youth is a world with which the general reaier is as little acquainted as he is with the pres-

A ROYAL GROUP OF THE FIFTEENTH CENTURY.

ent state of learning in Timbuctoo. Yet thrilling history was being made while Columbus was a child at his mother’s knee, and as the boy grew older, fond „of bopks and immersed in study as he was, he could not fail to hear something of the great events which were thon, in default

SALLY-PORT OF ANTWERP POUT.

of newspapers, passed from mouth to mouth, along the quays and through the streets of the bustling city of Genoa. In those days the fleets of Genoa covered the Mediterranean, and daily arrivals brought intelligence from all quarters of the known world. News spread with wonderful rapidity, considering the fact that newspapers, telegraphs, postoffices, were all lacking; news of the battle t)f Agincourt, fought thirty years before. Columbus was born, was told in Borne, over a tnousanc. miles away, before the end of a week; the results of Creasy, a hundred years earlier, were known all over Europe within a fortnight. Sometimes, .of course, exaggerated, the accuracy of this hastily transmitted intelligence was wonderful. A gentleman in England, whose brother was kilted and whose two : sons were wounded when Joan raised the siege of Orleans in 1429, learned the fact' in six days, and started to the relief of his boys on the seventh. vVhen intelligence spread like this, a great center of busin*fi- population such as Genoa was aisd have been a center of news, aid Columbus, when a lad of 6, may have heard the news of the final expulsion of the English from France in 1451, and when a lttcle older he must have heard news of the war begun in 1453 in England between the rival houses of York and Lancaster, in which roses were the embleme and the kingdom the prize. No doubt, among his comrades hp had heard tales of the terrible Turks apd, of the. still-more terrible Tamerlane, who, forty-three years before the, birth of Columbus, had defeated and captured the Sultan Bajazet, and imprisoned him in aatiroa cage for the amusement of the savage troopers who ', composed the conqueror’s army. ,Tples like this fascinate the boys of every century, and Columbus was probably no exception to the rule that boys delight In stories of adventure.' <- - ■ ■’ The year before Cohimbus was born Ladislas of Hungary was defeated and slain at Varna by the Turks, and the memory of this great national disaster was doubtless revived by the terrible defeat of the Turkish cavalry by Hunniad.es when Columbus was 5 years old. When he was 8 the city of Genoa was stirred to its depths by intelligence that alarmed the world. Constantinople, in spite of the heroic resistance that for months had excited the admiration of Europe, had fallen before the victorious arms of Amuratt, and swift ships flying before the southeastern gales had brosjjht the dismal news to Venice and Genoa. The capital _of the East was the tfadihjg post for Eastern Europe and Asia Minor, and thousands of merchants la Genoa, Venice and other ports of the klediteranean saw their business swept baa stroke. Ebr a long time there had been talk of sending aid to the beleagnred Constantine Palteologus, sad the last vessel that escaped from

Constantinople boro an urgent appeal for help. “ Coip6<qpiekly,' or we are Lost, ” said the letter dispatched from tb* unfortunate monarch. in Geh.oa and Venice fleets were preparing 10 put to

sea; mercenaries, hired in Italy, Switzerland. on the t anks of the lihine, gathered from the strolling bands of , freelances, recruited even in far-away England and Scotland, were gathering in both cities, ready to embark with the first favorable wind; but before the wind came the news arrived that the Turkish cannon,novel and much-dreaded weapons, had made a breach in the walls; that Constantine, sword in hand, had fallen among his troops, and that Ihe crescent had replaced the cross on the giant dome of St. Sophia. When the future discoverer was 11 he no doubt witnessed the illuminations that were ordered in every city in Europe in honor of the brilliant victory of the Hungarians over the Turks before the walls of Helgrade, and, possibly, a few years later, may have stood among the crowds that gathered before the posted proclamations of the reigning pontiff, i ailing the world to arms against the cruel infidels. Those were stirring times, for what with the wars of Christendom against the Turks in the East, the Moors in Spain, the continual warfare that was going on by sea and land against the merciless corsairs of Morocco and Barbary, the wars of Christian kings against each other and against their own subjects, the never-ceasing contests between rival noblemen, the private feuds of free cities, the ravages of the plundering companies of knights

and retainers who hired their swords to whomsoever could pay, and were ready, at the promise of higher pay, to turn their lances io-day against the employers cf yesterday, and the universal desolation wrought by famine and the Black Death, Europe had plenty of subtalk about and gossip was "plentiful. “ t The boyhood of Columbus antedated even many of those monuments which we are accustomed to as mementos of a hoary antiquity, says the Globe-Democrat. When Columbus was 5 years old, Pope Nicholas, after long pondering the subject and gravely considering the cost, determined on tho construction of a grand church at Home, a church which should as much surpass all the others of i hrlstendorn as Home* in sanctity surpassed other cities. He began'by tearing away the ruins of the basilica of Constantine, but got ,out of funds when the ground was ready for the foundation, the work stopped, and in the boyhood of Columbus the site of St. Peter’s was a large excavation in the center of Home. Thus it remained during the whole life of the discoverer, and not until 1506, the year of his death, was the work resumed by the laying of the first stone by Julius 11, St. Paul’s, in London, was a homely

building, whose aisles were used as the most convenient passageway across a public square, and whose walls resounded to the voices of the buyer and seller, while the greater of Paris was contained in the limits of the island where "'no# stands the Cathedral of Notre Dame. The grand Cathedral of St.

A QUEEN'S CARRIAGE.

Albans, England, whose gates'andjdoors have forages been the admiration of, architects- and builders, was not then in' existence. A roomy atjd well-filled monastery stood hard by, -the rich and comfdrtable abbot of which had more than once received a sharp remonstrance from the King for not erecting a church proportioned to the wealth of the community. At last, unable to resist longer the King's wishes, he, with

,much reluctance *nd some grumbling at the oOst, laid the foundations when Columbus was 0 years old, and then the gates were built round which, when Columbus was 10. the Yorkists and

THE BASTILE.

Lancastrians fought the first battle of the Hoses war. When the explorer was 12 he, no doubt, saw many of the Cologne Jews who at that time were expelled from the German capital, and as we know little of his early travels he may even have been at Cologne, and there have seen the foundations of the Cathedr .1 which is now one of the wonders of the Christian world. Its first stones

were laid 200 years before he was born, but the work went on slowly, and in his youth the walls were scarcely ten feet high, while a small roofed inclosure In one corner served to shield worshipers from the weather. Three years after his death the work ceased altogether, and was not resumed until 1842, nor was it until 1880 that the grand pile was finished, over 600 years from the commencement of the enterprise, which thus covered in its construction nearly half Middle Ages and the whole of modern times. In the,travels of his early days it Is not impossible that Columbus may have visited Antwerp and there have beheld in their prime the fortresses which, now in decay, were then just finished and the prido of the stout Dutch city that hoped by means of them long to preserve its independence. The Antwerp forts, however, dwindled into insignificance in comparison with another fortress which Columbus may have seen, and which had then just been completed, the famous Bastile of Paris. .Erected as the cltatel of Paris, it was the principal defense of the city, and was then dei mod one of the strongest fortresses in the world, rivuling even the giant structures that the barons of William the Conqueror had erected In England, ts> hold in awe the vanquished Saxons. Nearly 100 years after the death of Columbus Henry IV. and his veterans assailed it in vain, Its thick walls and lofty battlements defying every attaok. Jn Columbus' boyhood it was fcpowp only as a castle, not having then been pul to the vile uses of tyranny that afterward made it infamous, in the eyes of the French nation and brought about its demolition at the hands of the infuriated rabble. But Columbus did not need to travel to Paris to see a model prison,

THE GATE OF ST. ALBANS.

for in his native city there was an establishment of this kind which, in his day, rivaled the later reputation of the Bastile. The men of the fifteenth century had littlo of comfort in their dally lives, and, not knowing what it was, never missed it. Even the palaces of those times were built without the

THIS GENOA PRISON.

slightest care for what the moderns consider comfort; and in the royal residence less regard was shown for the convenience of its occupants than is now displayed in the cottage of the laborer. Even In the Tuileries, begun oyer 100 years after the birth of Columbus, ,no systems of sewerage or drainage.jwjas provided, and ihe slops of every description were thrown fnto the court yar<E, through which the palace attendants constantly passed and repassed. When royal dwellings were of this description little regard would naturally be shown for the comfort of prisoners, 'and no more cheerless place of abode can -be imagined than the huge State Prison of Genoa. Its forbidding exterior was indicative of the internal arrangements. No provision was made either for heat, light or ventilation, and many of the cdHs were so Jar undergrtemd that no ray of daylight ever illuminat'ed'theit interior. Bfit thpse.were merciless days, and the prisoner was fortunate if he escaped withoniy a term of imprisonment, for in TiheiriSwer tiers were torture chamber where evidence was extracted from luwless wretches by savage torture. Executions Were then public, and one of the worst features were the insults heaped on the condemned by the rabble that always attended an execution. These outrages were not only not discouraged by the authorities, but on oo-

A SPANISH GALLEY.

casions when It was anticipated that public sympathy would be extended to the condemned, bands of ruffians were hired to attend the execution and curse and maltreat the unfortunate victim. Hanging, burning, drawing and quartering were then accepted modes of execution, and on more than one occasion the young Christopher no doubt saw in the street before the great Genoa prison the carts containing the mangled remains of 6tate prisoners, while before the ghastly tokens walked the masked executioner t, bearing on poles the heads of the : ondemned. The days of Columbus’ youth were days when the highest ladies of the land rode in rude carts drawn by two horses, as shown in the Illustration, a conveyance then considered the height of respectability; indeed, so select was it that ere his boyhood ended royal edicts in France and Spain forbade the use of su h vehicles to any but members of the royal family and of the highest ranks of nobility. They were days when ladies who from fatigue or overexertion fainted were bled at once until they fainted again, and were then sent home on a cot placed on a big horse and a little horse side by side, so that the improvised bed was in a reclining position. ’They were days when kings wore their crowns all day long and every day, when the most gorgeous costumes, made in the most extravagant styles, and of the most glaring colors were worn. They were days when the entrails of serpents wore considered an infallible cure for alimentary diseases, and when the hair and hide of a iox, burnt under the nose of a patient, was regarded as an excellent specific for rheumatism, because the fox was fleet, and burning his hair in the presence of the slow-paced rheumatic was conjectured to quicken hl3 steps. They were days when feuds were settled by private battle, and when the adjudication of a lawsuit was determined by single combat, under the idea that providence would surely fight for the right. They were days when Europe was ruled by a horde of petty despots, each in his own little castle oppressing the poor and robbing the stranger They were days when no property was secure if either the ndbld or the king wanted it for his service—when the king owned the property of the nation ana disposed of it as though it were his own. They were days when science was not yet born and when ecclesiastics solemnly confuted the statement that the earth was round with the assertion that it must be square, for the Bible spoke of the four corners of the earth. With the story how the boy outgrew the Ideas and prejudices of his youth—ideas and prejudices which were the common property of his time—and by the sheer force of reason solved the problem of a new route to the east by the way of the west, the pages of history are filled. But the old na’rrative gives us little idea of the struggle that he must have undergone before ho finally succeeded in bringing others to a belief in his own sentiments, nor does It picture for us the curious evolution of the man from the unfavorable circumstances which surrounded his boyhood.

Nursery Hygiene.

The room especially set part for the children of the family should be the best-aired, the sunniest and driest in the house. At the same time it should be so situated as to be kept at a temperature as nearly uniform as possible. As a'general thing it should be on the south side of the house. Any excess of sunlight, if such exists, can be easily controlled by shades. Since the nursery is, as a rule, occupied both night and day, it should he as large as possible, to facilitate a thorough supply of afresh air. Considerations of air, sunlight and cleanliness should be paramount, and all questions of decoration should be entirely subservient. this end everything should be simple in construction. In all but exceptional cases the nursery is the scene, at some time or other, of one or more of the diseases incident to childhood. On this account all materials that might serve as a lurking-place for dust and disease organisms should be excluded. The furniture should be plain, so as to he easily kept clean. It should also he light, or else furnished with strong castors, so that it can be easily moved about. Pictures on the walls were better omitted. The nursery floor should have particular attention. While the ideal floor may not be always attainable, the ideal should be approached as nearly as possible. A floor of closely joined hard wood is the best, since it is most easily kept free from dust. Over this should be laid rugs or carpets, which should be frequently taken up and beaten. Nursery closets, too, should he carefully looked after. They should he always open to inspection, and no accumulation of soiled clothing should he permitted. Open shelves are recommended, since, while clean linen and other necessaries are easily keDt upon them, they are less apt to be made the receptacles of “tuckedaway” neatness than are shelves inclosed by doors. The habitual use of disinfectants should have no part in the care of the nursery. The necessity for their use should be avoided by means of scrupulous cleanliness. A room in which disinfectants are needed should be inhabited by no one, least of all by children. The ventilation of the nursery is an important matter. The essential thing to be secured is a frequent change of air without draughts along the floor.—Youth’s Companion.

Farm Help.

One of the best farmers in Minnesota says: “The complaints we hear so frequently these days about poor, incompetent help Is due more to the treatment given it by employers than the fault of the employed. I never treat my help as chatties or slaves; I interest them in my welfare by taking an interest in theirs, jay them all they earn anil pay it promptly. I encoui*age by commending work well done, but hold them responsible for failures. I give them good food and good beds, and my wife manifests the same solicitude for the hired man or woman that she does for the members of her own family. 1 have never yet had a man leave me of his own accord."

Keeping the Fire In.

A common trouble in country blacksmith shops, even in private houses, is the going out of the Are while the smith or servant is doing work away from it. This annoyance can be prevented by keeping at hand a box containing sawdust. When the fire seems to be out throw a handful of sawdust on the coals, and a good blaze will quickly follow. This may seem a small matter, but there are many who will And the suggestion a useful one.

THE KING AMUSES HIMSELF.

Be Is Happiest When He Thinks He Has Killed a Peasant with His Gan. The one insane monarch who now occupies a European throne, King Otho of Bavaria, shows no symptoms of recovering from his mental malady. lam told that he has lucid intervals, which are very brief, and occur but rarely, and it is as well, for these fleeting gleams of reason only serve to make the poor man miserably unhappy, for while they last he realizes his own wretched condition to the full. Everything is done to amuse and interest him in his ordinary state, which is that of hopeless as well as dangerous insanity. He spends his days in unceasing occupation of an insignificant and mechanical nature. Atone time he worked from morning till night in rolling cigarettes. Then he took to peeling potatoes, and bushels upon bushels of them were provided for his amusement Of late' his favorite pastime is by no means of such an inoffensive nature; He has taken to shooting peasants, and will sit all day long with his gun at the window, waiting for this new kind of game on which to exercise his skill. Even this freak his guardians have contrived to satisfy, without injury to any one of his subjects. His gun is loaded in his presence, as he always insists upon seeing the powder and shot duly put in, but for the latter his attendant substitutes dry peas. Orders have been given that no person shall be allowed to pass along the road in front of his dwelling, lest King Otho should tire upon him or her and be driven quite wild by seeing his intended victim walk off unhurt But at stated intervals a man in a peasant’s garb makes his appearance on the road. The King takes aim and Arcs, and the man drops down, to all appearance, dead. The supposed body is removed by two of the guards, and some hours later the performance is repeated, to the immense satisfaction of his Majesty. The make-believe peasant is a figurant from one of the minor theaters of Munich. Generally he simply drops on hearing the shot, and remains motionless, but occasionally he varies the performance by dying very hard," turning round two or three times before he falls, and then expiring in terrific convulsions, a catastrophe that*always greatly interests the royal maniac. Philadelphia Telegraph.

Imperial Telephone Etiquette.

Emperor William 11. has his own imperial way of using the telephone. Despite mistakes caused by the Emperor’s refusal to name himself at the opening of the conversation, as other people do, he-invariably introduces his telephoned orders merely with the words: “1 command that,” and so forth. As soon as the chief of department hears these words he motions that his .subordinates-must at once leave the room. The significance of this arrangement is supposed to be that the chief is having something like an audience with his Majesty and that it would be presumptuous for a person not summoned to hear the imperial voice to occupy the room into which its tones are conveyed. At the end of the conversation the Emperor walks away without saying “good-by,” and the chief with whom he has conversed must listen for five or six minutes afterward to make sure that the imperial ordeis have been completed. Then he calls back his assistants and the usual etiquette is resumed.,

A Cotton Picking Machine.

There has been no revolution in the production of cotton since Whitney invented the gin and took the “seeding” of it out of the hands of the old women and children. Now, however, there is a prospect of another great change. Over 600 machines have been invented in the last twenty years for picking the cotton from the boll and all have failed to give satisfaction. But still another is to be tested, and cotton men believe it will be successful. It will pick, it is said, 10,000 pounds a day. An ordinary field hand can pick of the short staple about 150 pounds a day, and of the long staple about 350, so that the new machine will do the work of about forty men. Fifty ceuts a hundred pounds is considered fair wages in the cotton belt. The machine, therefore, will earn SSO a day.—New York Tribune.

An Irreverent Spouse.

A good man who lives in a thinly settled locality has the misfortune to be extremely deaf. His voice is remarkably loud in his devotions, and it is reported thathis morning prayer can be heard for half a mile. A neighbor, not long since, having occasion to visit his house in the morning found its owner at prayer, and, not wishing to interrupt, he waited outside. The tones of the voice within grew louder and louder. Each sentence was spoken with more vehemence than the preceding, until the prayer ended with a prolonged shout of “Amen!” The visitor was about to knock, when the sound of the wife’s voice arrested him. With a skill born of practice, she almost rivaled the tones of her spouse as she shouted: “Well, 1 guess you’ve drove all the rabbits out o' the swamp this morning!”

The Wretch.

One day the swell artist was passing the house of the younger one, says the Boston Globe, and the latter calleu to him: “Mr. Chrome, I have just finished two pictures, entirely different In subject, and would like to have your opinion of them.” The great man said he would be only too happy to look at them, so, ushering him into the house and opening the parlor, the owner pointed to two pictures hanging on the wall, and said: “There they are. One' picture is t of my father, copied from an old-fash'ioned ambrotype; the other is a painting of Lily Pond.” The artist, after adjusting his eye-glasses and looking carefully at the paintings a moment, turned and asked: “Which one did you say was your father, Mr. Madder?”

An Immense Ore Dock.

An immense ore dock is building at Onesta, Minn. The structure, which, it is said, will be the largest on the lakes, is to be 2,500 feet in length, 50 feet wide, and height above mean water level 524 feet

ERICSSON'S LAST VESSEL

The Destroyer, Which the Aged Inventor Designed bat Never Saw. No certain limits can be fixed to the progress which science will make in naval warfare, as from year to year there seems to be a pretty even race between the builders of stronger

THE DESTROYER.

ships and the inventors of more destructive and far-reaching projectiles. To vary the famous old paradox, no sooner docs one invent an invincible steel, iron or tin clad than another invents an irresistible shot or torpedo. Capt. Ericsson had but just revolutionized naval warfare with his monitors when he began the construction of a vessel to insure their destruction. He died before completing his plans, but the United States Naval Department was so satisfied with his plans that it intrusted their comp'etion to Engineer V. F. Lassoe and others familiar with them. The vessel built under their instruction is now completed and is aptly named The Destroyer. She is 130 feet in length, with.a team of 12 feet, draft of 10 feet and displacement of 250 tons. Her bow and stern are long and sharp, her upper deck low, with no rail, and the protections to her engines and boilers are of the best and so arranged as to permit her to run at the enemj head on. Eight feet under water is the alleged destroyer. It is of steel, projects 27 feet 4 inches in length and weighs 1,525 pounds. From 30 to 40 pounds of powder propel the torpedo at a velocity of 548 feet per second, and in the forward end of it is a charge weighing 300 pounds, which is exploded by a percussion cap when it strikes. A tube runs the entire length of the vessel just above the keel, fixed with watertight cap at the bow. Becent experiments show, the engineers report, that at a distance of 600 feet three shots out of four would strike and destroy an enemy’s vessel.

SLEEVES STILL DEVELOPING.

Those Now In Style Are Copied from Every Period. Sleeves present most surprising phases of development, and are copied from every period, quite regardless of that to which the gown itself belongs. The Henri 11. model is nicely adapted for combinations of two materials, one of which is slash-ed-to show puffings of the other and contrasting color. Now, 1840 sleeves are sometimes shirred down at the shoulder, to give the desired flare at the elbow, which is decidedly more novel than the puffing out at the

STYLE IN SLEEVES.

shoulder. All kinds of draped sleeves arejised, which give great possibilities in the remaking of gowns. One shows a frill falling from the shoulder over a puff that finishes at the elbow. Another has a drapery with a deep flounce falling over the elbow. Three full ruffles sewed around an old sleeve above the elbow modernize it very prettily, and two puffs with an elbow ruffle also furbish up an old sleeve with fashionable grace. All this draping and ruffing may be done with materials quite dissimilar to the original sleeve, and a little touch of black satin in almost any dress combination gives a style quite new and Parisian to the gown.

A Story About Meissonler

Meissonier inherited his artistic genius from his mother. His father kept a shop and thoroughly despised the aspirations of the young-man. “Very well,” said he one day, “if, instead of learning my business, you are determined to enlist in the army of long-haired and long-bearded tramps that die of starvation, you can go. But I don’t want you to die of hunger. A man can live on 10 cents a day. I’ll give you 15 francs a month. That is the best way to enable - you to find out if you are really born a painter, as you say. But every time you are without the price of yoifr dinner come here and dine with us.” Meissonier accepted the offer. He began by peddling his sketches, but was not successful, and the 10 ' cents a day was not always sufficient to keep him. Every time that he was sorely pinched by hunger ho came to his father’s house at dessert time. “Have you dined?” was the usual question of his' father, and “Yes, sir, I have come just to join you in a cup of coffee,” was Meissonier’s regular reply.

Wanted a Dark Breakfast.

Gov. Russell’s little soa Eustis surprised his mother one morniDg, a short time ago, by exclaiming: “Mamma, I want a dark breakfast. ” Mrs. Russell was at a loss to know what he meant, and demanded an explanation. “Well,” replied the young hopeful, “last night you told Mary to give me a light supper, and I didD’t like it. Now, mamma, please, do let me have a dark breakfast”— Boston Globe.

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINCS HERE AND THERE. Jokes and Jokeleta that Are Supposed to Have Been Recently Born—Saying, and Doing, that Are Odd, Carton, and Laughable. Let l’s L'tugh. A blanket trust is intimated—at least a Boston sheet so states. —Lowell Courier. The military prisoner is forced to be guarded in ail he says and does.— Troy Press. The undergraduate is one who is trampled to jelly in a foot-ball rush. —Picayune. It is doubtful whether a blind man can possess the prophetic gift; he U no seer.—Lowell Courier. “That air is very familiaT,” said the musician, as a gust of wind took his hat away.—Lampoon. Scatters— “ls Miss Dofid up to the times?” Luinsy—“Oh, yes. She wears French heels. ” —Nast's Weekly. It’s an open question which is the more objectionable, a boisterous girl or a girlstrous boy.—Dansville Breeze. “I’m onto your game,” as the fly remarked when he settled on the checkerboard. —Philadelphia ’ Record. Mex who never take a stand anywhere else frequently have to take one. in a street car.—Detroit Free Press.

Every poor poet knows that writer's cramp is never so hard to cure as when it’s in tlie stomach.—Somerville Journal Teacher —“ What is arithmetic?” Ike—“ Arithmetic vas the science yich teaches us how to compute interest on money.”—Life. Enpec (sighing)—“Things are not what they used to be in this house.” Mrs. Enpec—“No; even you have greatly changed.”—Truth. Fangle —“A man is not necessarily a floor-walked because he walks the floor.” Gunso —“That’s so. He may be a parent.”—Vogue. A man should not imagine because a girl of 16 laughs at his jokes that he is a great wit; a girl of e l 6 laughs because she is 16.—Atchison Globe. Mrs. Wabash —“ How dil you come to marry your divorced husband, Helen?” Mrs. Lakeside—“lt was the only way I could get my alimony.”— Truth. Ella —“What mattes you think he loves you? Did he say so?” Ida — “No; but he hugged me. That is a round-about way of letting me know it.”—Life. St. Peter —Good morning; won’t you come in? Shade of Boston Girl —How dare you speak to me without having been introduced?—Arkansaw Traveler.

“Are you tired?” asked the poet, as he stopped in* one of his effusions. “Tell me truly.” “Oh, no,” she answered, “I have just been asleep.”— Exchange. “Wasn’t that a moving sermon on domestic charities by Dr. Monthly?” “Yej, indeed; old Skyuflynt actually dropped a tear in the plate.”—Harvard Lampoon. Maud —“There are no flies on Minerva Backbay.” Mab—“ Certainly not Those insects are not food of having their toes frost-bitten.” — Texas Siftings. “I never had so long a dry spell in my life,” said the Kentucky gentleman, who had been shut up for a week in a temperance town by the floods.—Exchange. She —“Do behave!” He—“ Just one little kiss! Your father has gone in!” She (gazing sky ward) —“Yes, but don’t you know that Mars’unusually near?” —Pittsburg Bulletin. “The difference,” said fche man with a weary look in his eye, “between my poem and my umbrella is that the poem is always returned with thanks:’’—Exchange. She —“ Why do you suppose Mr. Tompkins al.ways wears such an amused smile?” He—“ Well, he ought to. He has a keen sense of the ridiculous and is very self-conscious.” —-Life.

There is no need of the whole nation getting off about a consular agent being shot in the foot, but' it wouldn’t be surprising if it made him hopping mad. Philadelphia Times. Mamma —“And how did my little pet get to sleep last nigbt without mamma?” Little Pet—“ Papa tried to sing me to sleep like you do, an’ I hurried up and went to sleep so’s not to hear it.” —Exchange. H«e Kmew Her Failing. —Mrs. Dresswell (to her daughter-in-law)— Wait a minute! you haven’t seen, my duck of a new bonnet. Daughter-in-law’s husband (interposing)—Hasn’t she? Then you didn’t-buy it anywhere in this neigborhood.— I Fun. Sunday Morning. —Barker,(goi ng to his club) Good-morning, Miss Smithers. On your way, to St. Peter’s? Miss you are, too, I suppose? Barker (embarrassed) —Oh, of course. Miss Smithers— Queer we should be traveling in opposite directions.—Harper’s Bazar. “What is going to be played at the opera house to-morrow evening,’ Mr. McGinnis?” asked Mr. Lopgcoffln. “It isn’t decided yet,” replied McGinnis. “How is that?" “1 don’t know how it comes,” said Mr. McGinnis, “but I read in the paper this morning that they were going to play ‘Othello, or the Moor of Venice.’ but it did not say which.” —Texas Siftings.

What Marriage Really Is.

A disillusionized woman reports on her experience and observation of matrimony that “marriage is just this: You have a beautiful wreath and veil on your wedding diy. The first week passes well. The second week you have your mouth full of clothespins. The third you are trotting two miles with a basket looking for cheap meat. And after that you are looking for cheap meat all the rest of your life.” Maud —“ Goodness gracious’Haven’t you an overcoat on this bitter day, Mr. Murphy?” Murphy—“No; I take a peppermint every five minutes instead.”—Ally Sloper.