Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 April 1893 — Page 6

gljeJcmotroticSfntinti RENSSELAER, INDIANA. J. W. McEWEN, - Puixisheb.

ITS STATUE IS CAST.

FIGURE FOR INDIANA’S MONUMENT READY. Completed In Chicago—The Colossal Form Will Tower 300 F eet In the Air—Will Be the Finest Martial Memorial In the World. Bnllt at a Cost of 5200.000. The colossal bronze statue of “Indiana” which is to surmount the State soldiers’ monument at Indianapolis has been successfully cast in Chicago. This bronze casting is an ideal female figure, whose dignity of bearing and beauty of form are a credit to the artist. Thirty feet in

“INDIANA."

ever witnessed in the State. President Harrison and members of his Cabinet were present and made speeches. Gov. Hovey, all the State officials, and the National and State departments of the G. A. R. were present. Special poems were read and campfires held at night. Indiana claimed that when completed its monument would be the noblest structure on the continent and that there would be no soldiers’ monument in the world to equal it. People who have seen the plans say the statement is correct. In Circle Park. The nearly completed monument stands in Circle Park, near tlie Capitol Building. The ground base, including the approaches, is three feet above the grade of the adjacent street. The terrace, 110 feet in diameter, is 12 feet high, and is reached by 24 steps 75 feet in length. The diameter of the base of the pedestal at the terrace floor is 52 feet. Sixty feet above it recedes to 36 feet 6 inches. Here the pedestal is united with the shaft, 25 feet in diameter. Ascending, the shaft diminishes to 12 feet 6 inches at the line beneath the capital, which is 20 feet 6 inches in diam-

INDIANA STATE SOLDIERS AND SAILORS' MONUMENT, INDIANAPOLIS.

eter, and is supported by eagles 7 feet high carved in stone. A balustrade of stone projects four feet above the platform or floor of the capital. This platform is reached by an elevator and 6tairway from the interior of the shaft, and from it the surrounding landscape is seen. On it stands the turret, an iron frame covered with copper, 8 feet square and 19 feet high. Upon this a bronze globe 8 feet in diameter wlli be placed, and on this the stathe, “Indiana,” thirty feet high, will stand. The pose of this figure will make a striking silhouette effect against the sky and its expression from every point of view Is the elation of victory. In it is combined all that is represented beneath. It is the poem of the monument. The 6word, held in the right hand with the point turned down, typifies the power of the army, to which the vic-

CROUP ILLUSTRATING WAR.

tory is due; the young eagle upon the head is emblematic of the freedom resulting from that victory; and the torch, carried aloft in the left hand, is the light of the civilization resulting from that victory and that freedom. Heroic Periods. There are three astragals. The first is twelve feet beneath the capital, and represents on the four sides of the shaft the years of the Mexican and civil wars, being the heroic periods of the State. The second is sevehty-Dine feet below the first, and represents the navy at the period of the civil war. The third astragal is twelve feet below the second, and represents the army by illustrations ©f the arms of the service and other Eight feet above the terrace are platforms for groups of “War" and "Peace." The conception of “War” by the architect, as shown id the sketches upon the eastern panel and sub-jpedestaJ of his model of the roonpaifßtt begins with low and high re-

height and several *tons in weight—one of the largest and heaviest statues ever cast in America it will stand in its solitude 300 feet in the air, holding a torch in its colossal hand. The monument is being built in Indianapolis at present. The cor-ner-stone laying took place August 22, 1889. That occasion was pronounced the greatest demonstration

cheering; in their front a Union and rebel soldier are fraternizing, the latter in a recumbent position, as though wounded or exhausted, and the former offering him succor; on the right front of the group a soldier Is sitting upon his plow, to which be has returned, with a sheaf of wheat lying in front, while another returned soldier is embracing his wife farther hack. In the front-center Columbia again appears, with extended arm and wand, proclaiming peace. Towers High In Air. The shaft is 270 feet high. The bronze figure, “Indiana,” completes the 400 feet. Bruno Schmitz did the architectural work and brought the plaster model with him from ‘Germany. This' did not Include the Brewster figure at the top. The cost complete will reach $200,000.

liefs upon the former, culminating In full projections, one being a winged figure, the Spirit of War, bwsng $ flag and cheering the army in advance and below on to victory; an« other, a mounted cavalryman, only the head of the horse and the arm 6f „a soldier being in full projection aa he charges toward the front. Below, and in advance upon tbe sub-pedes-tal, are the round figures, of somq sixteen feet, completing the group, in various poses, charging over the fallen enemy that is being trampled under theft feet, while in the front-

GROUP ILLUSTRATING PEACE.

center stands Columbia, with right hand raised aloft, as the inspiration of battle.

The group of “Peace” begins in a similar way upon the western panel, on the opposite side of the monument from “War.” In the distance, in low relief, the victorious army is seen marching off the field, while above, projecting from low into high fblief, with arm extended into full projection, and partly over the group below, is the winged Spirit of War again, offering a wreath as a crown for the victors. In the right-rear of the group of round figures, upon the subpedestai Projecting below," are soldiers celebrating their triumph by

The Late Leopold Morse's Little Joke.

Mr. Morse was too much of a man to be ashamed of his calling, and never failed to turn the tables on anyone who chaffed him about it A story used to be fold of a visit paid to his store in Boston by a Washington swell, who had met him at the Metropolitan Club here, and who thought to have a little amusement at his expense, the visitor entered Mr. Morse was Just in the act of bowing out a customer to whom he had sold a large bill of goods. “Ha, Morse!” cried the Washingaoni'an, “how I wish the fellows at the club could see you now l . I watched the way you handled that poor wretch. It was artistic, but it wouldn’t do so tell away from home. What will ybii'give me to keep quiet about it?” The clothier looked his caller in the face without a smile. “I must gif you someding to buy your silence?” he asked, soberly. “Certainly. It’s only fair that I should rewarded for holding a good thing back.” Mr. Morse turned to one of his clerks: “Choseph,” he said, “get down one o’ dem monkey chackets ve sell vor two tollars and a quarter. Let dis chentlemao ’af it for one.toller and sefenty-flfe cents —he's a frlent of mine.”—Kate Field’s Washington.

A Pair of Pets.

Training will do many things, but it has seldom brought together two such incongruous mates as 1 in this story told by the St. PauTGlobe: Little Barbara had been sick, but was convalescent “Are you my doctor?” she said, waking up suddenly and ,finding a strange lady at her bedside/ “No, dear,” said the strange lady, “I am your trained nurse. ”/ “Ah, that’s better, ” exclaimed the little girl. “I shall like you very much. Trained nurse,” che continued, pointing to a cage hanging hear the window, “let me intnWuce job to my trained canary.” »

Suggestive to Doctors and Scolds.

Dr. P. was not really a surly man, bqt the burry of his large and ard- ' lions practice made him appear so Kimetfttfces, Directly opposite his office lived Mr. Bradley, whose wife was an inveterate and loud-voiced scold. She had never had occasion for the Doctor’s services except for one thing, and that was to set her dislocated jaw several times. It had been first injured in an accident some years before, and had never fully recovered; any unusual strain was liable to throw it out of joint again. One morning, as he was preparing in haste for a long round of professional calls, his ears were assailed by the din of Mrs. Bradley’s scolding. She was giving her husband a violent “curtain lecture,” and no doubt the Doctor was nettled by the ~ound. “J hope she woqlt put her jaw out of joint with her clack, and come over here to have it set,” muttered he to himself. But the next moment in she came, holding her chin in one hand, and with the other pointing into her open mouth, which she could not shut, and mumbling, “Ah, ah, ah!” “Yes, yes, I know!” exploded the Doctor; “you’ve got your jaw out a scolding your husband. I expected it! I expected it! Well, sit down here, and I’ll put it down in a wink!” shoving a chair toward her as he spoke. She began to sit down, but, just as she was almost seated, the Doctor discovered that the chair did not face the light as he wished, and gave it a slight turn. Somehow, between them, the chair was so misplaced that she missed it, and sat down with a tremendous thump on the floor. It is an ill mishap that brings nobody good. The force of her collision with the floor did a neater job in setting her jaw than tbe Doctor could have done. Yet, all the ame, Mrs. Bradley did not like such § style of surgery. Scrambling to her feet, she squared off, with battle in her attitude and fire in her eyes, to give the Doctor a lingual thrashing. But she had met more than her match. The Doctor flung opep the door, and seizing her by the prm, marched her out and down the steps, exclaiming: “Go right home and stop scolding forever, for I’ll never your jaw again#” Home she went, and it is said she never scolded any more. The incident is suggestive to doctors and scolds. ’

He Went to Walk.

There is a story of a French dog whose breakfast was forgotten, whereupon he" ran into the garden, and returning with a sprig in his mouth, deposited it at his master’s feet. It was a sprig of forget-me-not. The truth of this story is perhaps open to question, but a story almost as remarkable comes from a Florida correspondent whose veracity is undoubted. Jack is a handsome Newfoundland dog. Every evening at 9 o’clock he is taken to walk by his master, who has an orange walking? stick, which he particularly likes and usually carries. Every evening on the stroke of 9 Jack rushes to the hat-rack in the hall, noses about among the walkingsticks and umbrellas until he finds the orange-wood Stick, and immediately afterward appears before his master carrying it in his teeth. He wags his tall and prances delightedly about, and shows as plainly as possible that he will be a broken-hearted dog if his friend and master omits the usual evening stroll. One evening the family were in the sitting-room with some guests. A shower had come up, and it was raining hard when the clock struck 9, The strokes had hardly died away when Jack danced gayly into the. room with the orange-wood stick in his mouth.

“No, Jack,” said his master, “we cannot go out to-night. It is raining too hard. We should get wet. Just listen to it rain, Jack.” With that the host turned his attention once more to his guests, and presently they heard Jack pulling over things in the hat-rack. They supposed he was putting away the walking-stick, like the clever dog that he is. A few moments later a .beseeching little bark was beard. There in the sitting-room door stood Jack. He had an umbrella in his mouth. Everyone flew for the rubbers, water-proof, - and hat of the man pf thq house, and that gentleftian, bearing the umbrella so persuasively offered him, took Jack out to walk without father delay.

Work of a Marriage Bureau.

Tbe Berlin Marriage Bureau, which has ramifleatjons all over the world, has In the last eleven years received 19,959 propositions from all civilized countries. In 12,706 cases husbands were desired, in'7,253 wives; 5,916 women and 5,104 men communicated directly with the main office; the rest made known their wants through agencies. The youngest woman who asked for a man .was 16. years an'd 4 months, the e]dest*=72. The corresponding ages of male applicants were 18$ and 79. The average of the women was 265, of the men 295. v Matches were brought about for 4,399 women applicants and 5,41 J men. The average fortune of the men was £730, of the women £930. ' The smallest purse offered by a, woman was £13., -It was the whole y fortuq,e of a girl of twenty-ope years. i The largest fortune of a Woman applicant - was £IOO.OOO. The- projjferties of the men in search of wives variecP between £73 and £30,000. . > Trier© JVere 516 women and 307 men communicated wi th the Bureau ’-who had apparent physical deformities. There were 2,311 men and 1*409 womeff who had been married, 1,129 men wished second wives to care for their first wives’ children. The occupations of the pien were: tradesmen 5,002, members of learned professions and artists 706, army officers 63, §jtate officials 809. The rest of the/candidates did not give their occupations. Of the women 1,503 ha<i their own business establishirrentsi s' 7 s *.

Secret of Success.

Ujyfniof thirty years ago, when DaVgr Maydole was a roadside blaok--Bmi*h at Norwich, New York, six ca/penters came to the village from toe next county to work on a new

church. One of thjsm, having left his hammer behind, came to the blacksmith’s to get one made, there being none which gave satisfaction inf the village store. “Make me a good one—as good as you know how,” said the carpenter, “But,” said th* young blacksmith, who had already considered hammers, and nadprrived at some notion of what a hammer ought to be, and had a proper contempt for cheapness in all its forms, “perhaps you don’t want to pay for as good a hammer as I can make.” “Yes, I do; I want a good hammer.” So David Maydole made a good hammer that perfectly satisfied the carpenter. The next day the man’s five companions came, and each of them wanted just such a hammer, and when they were done the employei came and ordered two more. Next the storekeeper of the village ordered two dozen, which were purchased by a New York tool merchant, who left standing orders for as many hammers as David Maypole could make. And from that day to this he has gone on making hammers, until now he has one hundred and fifteen men at work for him. He has never pushed, never borrowed, never tried. to compete with others in price, because other men had done so. His only care has been to make a perfect hammer, to make as many hammers as people wanted and no moie, and to sell them at a fair, reasonable price. Now, here is a bit of good advice, boys: Whatever you undertake, do it perfectly, with your might, and you will succeed.

A Train of Exiles.

All travelers in Siberia desire to see something of the criminal exiles. When, therefore, I was informed that a detachment was on its way from Tomsk, I took a conveyance and drove out to meet it. We had driven a considerable distance without seeing the slightest signs of life on the deserted highway, when suddenly on the crisp, frosty air, I distinguished a faint, distant sound, so peculiar and weird that it at once attracted my attention, as it was evidently approaching us. It was not unlike the noise which would be produced by hundreds of small birds singing all at once, yet I could see nothing of any sort anywhere on the vast plain. As well as I could, with my limited Russian vocabulary, I drew my driver’s attention to it. To him it was neither novel nor interesting; he knew what it was at once. “The arrestanti are coming,” he remarked briefly; and shortly after, on ascending a rise in the road which had concealed them from our view, there came in sight a big body of men coming slowly along, and I discovered that tbe strange noise which had so impressed me was produced by the heavy chains they wore. But then, alas! all preconceived illusions vanished, for it was a loathsome and depressing sight, rendered doubly so by the bright sunshine. There was about it absolutely nothing of the poetic, such as I had been led to expect. It was simply a huge crowd of what looked like—and probably was—the very scum of the earth, for all races seemed to be represented, making as villainous and evil-looking a lot of men as one could possibly see.

The Taming of Animals.

There are few benefits which we owe to our forefathers greater than the endless skill and pqtience with which they tamed those animals which we call at the present day “domestic.” It must have required a steady perseverance, extending through countless generations, to have succeeded in inducing such essenttally wild and mistrustful animals as cats to lay aside their timidity and suspicion, and to become the faithful friends of man. The people who accomplished this great benefit for posterity had more leisure tliaD their restless and hardworked descendants; they were, generally speaking, members of slave states, in which the food supply was plentiful, and in which we may suppose that both masters and slaves had plenty of time on their hands. In some cases the obvious utility of the animals caused them to be tamed; in some cases this very utility came to invest them with a special sanctity, which; as in the case of the cat in Egypt and the cow in India, afforded an additional guaraptee for their preservation. The ancients seem to have tamed almost all the existing animals known to them that were worth taming; had they known the American bison, they might have added him to the list ol draught animals we possess; possibly, too, the weasel, stoat, and polecat might have been reclaimed and employed as a useful foe to vermin. It is' certain that some animals which were once lamed have been allowed to relapse into a wild state, such as hawks, monkeys, and crocodiles in Egypt, and weasels in Greece and Rome.

Memories.

Among the numberless stories told or General Butler since his death is this, extracted from the Boston ■ Globe: Tbe narrator had an important law case on, and i elievefi that “Ben Butler” was the man to win it. Butler was in Washington, so he went to the capital, and after two days succeeded in obtaining an interview with the General, who declared that he was overwhelmed with work. He would not take the case for a thousand dollars a day. “General,” I said, as he turned abruptly to his work, “I was born in the same town with you.” He grunted, but wasn’t otherwise affected, so far as I could see. “Do you remember, little Miss ? And the boy who used to send notes to her, and the boy who used to take them? I am the boy who took the notes.” “And I am the loy who sent them,* said the General. He held out his hand. “I guess I’ll take your case aftex all,” rie said. And he did and won it.

Lite Insurance.

Of the 812,000,000.000 of life insurance written in the world, $5,500,000,000 is placed in the United States. Between the years 1880 and 1890 there was $2,500,000,000 new life insurance written in this country and but $1,000,000,000 In the whol* British Em Dire.

GUIDING MARINERS.

The Lighthouses of To-day and of Andes] Times. Lighthouses have their origin in the mists of antiquity. As soon as man began to plow the deep with ships some means of guiding the mariner into port or of warning him off dangerous reefs had to be devised, and tbps we read in ancient works of the erection of Are towers at the entrance to ports to serve the double purpose of defense against invasion and of friendly guidance to safety. In the ancient world there were towers at Ostea, Ravenna, Captase and

THE PHAROS AT RHODES. [A lighthouse said to have been 500 feet high and to have endured 1.600 years.]

Rhodes, the latter of which lives in history as one of the great wonders. In the Island of Pharos, opposite Alexandria, a lighthouse said to have been 500 feet high, was erected which, after standing 1,600 years, was destroyed by earthquake. Caligula, the Roman Emperor, to commemorate his victory over the Britons erected a light tower at Boulogne. After a time it fell into disuse, but in 810 Charlemagne repaired the tower and reignited the fire. In 1540 the English converted the tower into a fortress. Here it stood until 1614, when its foundations caved in and it fell. In England Wolf’s Rock lighthouse, off Land’s End, is said to have been the most difficult erection of any on the British coast. It is built on a rock seventeen feet above low water, but submerged at high tide. The tower is 116 feet high and was erected in 1869. Each face stone is dovetailed vertically and horizontally in the adjoining stones and every stone is bolted to the course below it by bands of metal and steel. The history of lighthouses in this

MINOT'S LEDGE LIGHTHOUSE.

country previous to the Revolution if involved in obscurity. Before 1789 the expense of keeping up the few then existing was born by the individual States in which they were, but after that year the Federal Government assumed the responsibility of erecting and maintaining lighthouses. Previous to 1852 the lighthouse system was under the control of the Fifth Auditor of the Treasury, but subsequently a Lighthouse Board was organized. The board is attached to the office of the Secretary of the Treasury, who is President of it. The Minot’s Ledge Lighthouse is perhaps the most famous of any on our coast. Minot’s rocks lie southeast of Boston Bay, and for many years has been the terror of mariners and the cause of numerous shipwrecks. On the most seaward rock a tower was erected in 1848, but it was destroyed by storm in 1851. Congress made an appropriation for the erection of a new tower, and in July, 1855, work was commenced. The tower was completed September 15, 1860, at the cost of $300,000. The work of construction was most difficult, aS a good portion of the foundation lay below low water. To enable the workmen to land on the rock at all a perfectly smooth sea and low tides were necessary. There were times, even in summer, when for months a landing was impossible, and although work was prosecuted in cutting the foundation rock in shapes to receive the stones it was three years before the first stone was laid. Tbe tower from the lowest stones to the top of the pinnacle is 114 feet 1 inch. The diameter at the base is 30 feet.

Did You Know This?

A man weighs less when the barometer is high, notwithstanding the fact that the atmospheric pressure on him is more than when the barometer is low. As. the pressure of air on an ordinary-sized man is about fifteen tons, the rise of the mercury from twenty-nine to thirty-one inches adds about one ton to the load he has to carry. “Excuse me, ” says the young business man to the typewriter, “but I’d like to make a suggestion." “What is it?” she asked. “You ought to try your skill as a peacemaker.” “I don’t understand.” “In your letters, I mean. Your nouns and verbs don’t seem to quite agree."—Washington Star.

Royal "Triptolorgy."

Horaee Walpole Humorously de> scribed as “triptology” George the Third’s habit of repeating three times any remark he might make. It was emphatic thinking aloud, and the author of “Gossip of the Century” gives this instance of the “triptological” habit: The King was very fond of the Weld family, and frequently stayed at Lulworth Castle, their country seat. One evening he attended a ball there, and the daughter of the house, a handsome woman, danced so gracefully that the King expressed aloud his admiration in the characteristic form: “Fine woman, fine woman, fine woman! Dances well, dances well, dances well!” The habit ran in the royal family, and his son, the Duke of Cambridge, inherited it. The Duke attended church on Sunday mornings, and would express in an audible tone and with threefold repetition his approbation of the service and opinion of the sermon.

On one occasion the officiating clergyman pronounced the exhortation, “Let us pray.” “Aye, to be sure; why not? Let us pray, let us pray, let us pray!” responded the Duke from his pew. On another occasion, while the ten commandments were being read, the Duke thus emphatically indorsed the eighth: “Steal! no, of course not! Mustn’t steal, mustn’t steal, mustn’t steal!” William IV. did not inherit his father’s “triptology;” but when any question was brought before him on which he was not prepared to express an opinion he would say, “That’s another matter.” On his death-bed, watching through an open window the sun sinking below the horizon, he said reflectively to the Archbishop of Canterbury, who stood near: “Ah, my friend, I shall not see another sunset ” “We don’t know that, sire,” answered the prelate, “and I pray heartily that your majesty may see many more. ” “That’s another matter* replied the King.

Monkey Jokers.

No one will doubt that monkeys have a keen sense of humor which enables them to relish a Joke. It is not to be supposed that they care whether the fun is at the expense of one of their own species of ours. Their jokes are necessarily practical. In the New Review Mr. R. S. Garner describes one of these. In a large cage in the Philadelphia Garden were kept at one time about twenty monkeys. Among them were two big, wise-looking apes with gray beards and hair, and with the mien of stoics. They had very long, straight tails, and a habit of sitting high up from the ground, and allowing their tails to hang at full length. In the same cage were three or four brown Cebus monkeys, who were much devoted to exercise and fun. While the big monkeys would cling to the side of the cage,’or sit on a perch some ten or twelve feet from the ground, one of the little brown monkeys would stealthily creep up to one of them, and suddenly grasp the end oi the long tail and swing with all his might. Of course the “big ’un” could not lift his tail because of the little monkey clinging to it He could only climb down the sideof the cage with his burden until he could reach the floor. During this operation the brown monkey kept swinging until his own tail touched the floor, at which instant he would release his hold and spring to the top of the cage, followed by the outraged monkey amid the screams of the others. By the time he had reached a point where he could attack his little tormenter, who would show some signs of resistance, and cause him to pause for a moment, another brown monkey would seize his long tail and take a swing.

Thought It Was Part of the Initiation.

The members of the Independent Order of Enthusiastic Good Fellows were operating on Mr. Timberwheel, a few weeks ago, putting him through the operations supposed to be necessary to convert the ordinary citizen into an Enthusiastic Good Fellow. They were almost through with the initiation when some kind of an explosion in the store over which the hall was situated blew the building into the middle of the street and interfered with the ceremonies. Beady bands set to work and extricated the people from the debris. Fortunately no one was hurt very much, but . after a census had been taken Mr. Timberwheel was found to be missing. A search was instituted, and before long he was found in an adjoining yard, where the force of the explosion had landed him. He sat in a lodge-room chair and his eyes were still blindfolded. “Why on earth didn’t you take that thing off your eyes and get out of the chair when the explosion occurred?” asked one of the Enthusiastic Good Fellows. i. “Explosions” echoed Timberwheel, “Why, I thought that was part of the initiation. "—Christian Advocate.

Why a Shadrach Is So Called.

Every child knows the wonderful story that tells how the three Hebrews, Shadrach, Mesliach and Abednego, went through the fiery furnace at the bidding of cruel King Nebuchadnezzar, and yet passed forth unscorched. It is rather curious to find, at the present day, the name of one of these Jews used in a sense that is meant to commemorate the miracle. Such, however, is the case. It seems that sometimes a bit of iron or iron ore goes through the smelting furnace without being affected by the heat. And a piece of iron like this the miners in parts of the Ignited States, and it may be in other countries, too, called a shadrach. The men further believe that a shadrach has the mysterious power of enabling the human being who possesses it to remain cool when he or she might otherwise become overheated, that is, passionate and angry. Boggs —“The United States Senate is the great National Theater, after all.” Foggs—“How so?" Boggs—“Seats in the body of the house cost more than those in the gallery.”— Smith, Gray & Co. 's Monthly.

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. Jokes and Jokeleta that Are Supposed Se Ban Been Recently Born—Sayings and Doings that Ars Odd. Curious and Laughable. Let Us L*hgh. The successful gambler is necessarily a winsome chap.—Troy Press. Two great foes of the church—the golden calf and the leathery oyster.—Rara’s Horn. Choir singers are rarely Intimate. They are mere chants acquaintances. —Binghamton Leader. We are willing to endure the crinoline if the girls will agree not to use barbed wire.—Utica Observer. When the legislator “calls for a division” he doesn’t always refer to the vote. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Some orators are badly stuck by the time they reach the point of a discourse.—Cleveland Plain Dealer.

A man with a broken leg is apt to do a good deal of darning while the leg is knitting.—Binghamton Leader. Talk is cheap. If you don’t believe it sec bow much you can get for the price of a shave.—Elmira Gazette. No man ever disputed a boundary line to' the extent of shoveling snow past his neighbor’s fence.—Elmira Gazette. The chambermaid knows how to put in a sweeping denial when accused of smashing the bric-a-brac:— Troy Pres 9. The young man who puts his foot on his knee in the street car is preparing to take lessons on the mandolin.—Picayune In the stutterer’s lexicon there is no such animal as a coon; he generally makes a co-coon of him.—Yonkers Statesman. St. Louis has a girl phrenologist. Evidently woman is getting to the head in the march of progress.— Boston Transcript “Is Haiikaway as dull as they say he is?” “Every bit Why, my foot went to sleep when Harkaway was talking last night”—Truth. “Did you ever go to Bins, the tailor?” “Yes. Got two suits from him. One dress suit. One law suit Very expensive man.”—Waif. Of course she knew it: Harry— Does she know you love her? Fred— She can’t help knowing it Why, she told me she had $20,000 a year.— Life. In case hoops do come there wouldn’t be inappropriateness in reviving the old song, “I’m Sitting ou the Style, Mary.” Philadelphia Times.

A recently published book entitled “Fairbairn’o Book of Crests” declares that only twenty-one American families are entitled to the use of a crest A contemporary gives the startling information that persons, should “dress quietly when attending the funeral of a dear friend. ”—Philadelphia Record. “Now,” said the editor, “I want you to write up Chicago’s magnificence as a pork center.” ‘’l see,” replied the reporter—“a pen picture.— Washington Star. “This is a temperance hotel, isn’t it?” asked one guest of another. “I think it must he,” was the reply. “I never knew it to be full."—Browning, King & Co.’s Monthly. Mrs. Muscavado— The NeWriches are people who don’t know who their grandparents were. Mrs.Rockoil— Oh, yes, they do, but they hope that no one else does.—Brandon Bucksaw. “Young man,” said the judge, sternly, “your face is familiar. Have you ever been in this court before?” “No, sir,” replied the young man, “I’m a faro dealer. "—Pittsburg Dispatch. Judge —Why did you not return the pocketbook you found on the same evening? Defendant—lt was too late. Judge—Why, then, did you not deliver it in the morning? Defendant —No use; nothing left in it. —Fliegende Blaetter. “My old aunt out in Brown County has sent me a jar of brandied peaches,” said Mr. Lashforth to a row of friends. “Now, while I don’t like peaches, still I fully appreciate the spirit in which they were tendered.” —lndianapolis Journal. Dudeleigh —Where is Mile. Kickup to-night? Mile. Souriante—She is unable to appear. Dudeleigh— Why? Mile. Souriante—She attended a little private party last night, and unfortunately stubbed her toe on the chandelier.—Brooklyn Life. Objecting Parents —Yes, I know how it is with you young people. You’d get along so long as the setris calm and it is smooth sail mg,? but what would you do in case of a squall? Practical Sailor—Weil, if the worst comes to the worst we cm employ a nurse.—Puck. The deacon’s wife wanted to. jot down the text, and, leaning over to her scapegrace nephew, she whispqj-ed: “Have you any cards about ybu?” “You can’t play in church,” Was the solemn, reproving answer, and the good woman whs so flustered that sbe forgot her text.—Anon.

Pertinent Question.

Old Aunt Dinah was a colored woman, who had a remarkably strong voice, and would sing and cry “glory" with such vigor as to be heard above all the rest of the congregation, but she was of an unpleasantly “saving” disposition. It was the custom at the missionary meetings of the church she attended to take up a collection during the singing of the hymn, “Fly abroad, thou mighty gospel!" in the midst of which Aunt Dinah threw back her head, closed her eyes, and sang away at the top of her lungs till the plate had passed her by. The collector, who was a man of plain speech, observed this habit of the old woman’s, and one evening when he came to her seat he stopped short, and, surveying her rapt countenance, said, bluntly: “Look a-hea, yo’ Aunt Dinah! What's de good ob yo’ a-singin’ an* a-singin’, ‘Fly abroad, thou mighty gospel,’ es you doan’ gib nuffln to to niiake her fly?”