Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 April 1893 — OUR BUDGET OF FUN. [ARTICLE]

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS BAYINQS AND DOINGS HERB AND THERE. #«kM u 4 Jokalvt* that Arm Bnppou4 tm Hava Baaa Bacantlp Born—Saxtac* aai Doing* that Ar* OdA Carton* and Laaghablo. Let Us Loath. Nana—“l love to ride in the trolley cars.” Maud—“ Why?” Nana—- “ Because you see so many “snarks.” “Does Ying Lee show any evidence of conversion?” “Yes, he wants to marry his Sunday school teacher.”— Philadelphia Record. Jason says, speaking of school discipline, the hardest thing to keep in order at a cooking school Is your stomach.—Elmira Gazette. “The pleasantest way to take cod liver oil,” says an old gourmand, ?is to fatten‘pigeons with it and then eat the pigeons. ”—Tid-Bits. “My sweetheart is neither beautiful nor young,” said Downes; “but she is as good as gold.” “Ah! it’s the gold you’re after!” said Bigbee.—TidBits..

“This,” said Farmer Begosb, who had listened to cheers till he bad a headache, “is another reminder of the hollerness of life.”—Washington Star. Mrs. Da rle y—George, dear, why is love said to be blind? Mr. Darley —Because he has had the wool pillled over his eyes so often.—Detroit Free Press. Mamma (pathetically) What would my little girl do if I should die? Little Flossie—l don’t know; I suppose I should have to spauk myself.—Life. Getthere —“Did you ever attend any of Miss Budd’s ‘at homes?’ ” De Bore (sadly)—“N-no, but I’ve attended a good many of her not-at-homes. ” —Exchange. The rumored combination of the whisky and sugar trusts is very ominous. The next thing we hear they will be getting into hot water.—Detroit Free Press. Crosse—“l hear Gerkin is in a terrible pickle. How does he take it?” Blackwell:—“Oh, he’s as cool as a cucumber about it. He isn’t as green as he looks. ” —Puck. Her Bosom Friend— “Oh, what a dear little ring!” Herself (blushingly)—“Yes; it’s my engagement ring. ” Her Bosom Friend (sweetly) —“Where did you buy it?”—Quips.

Al Pine “How uncomfortable Diogenes must have been, living in a tub!” Archy Teck “Yes; and it wasn’t the stationary kind, either.— Puck. Leading Man (to native)—“Where do the actors stop when they come down here?” Native—“ Most of ’em stays in the cemetery, two turnin’a to the right as you go down the road.” —Quips. Watts —“ What’s the matter with Braggs? He walks around with his nose away up in the air and wqn’t look at anyone.” Pott9—“He sprained his neck looking for the comet.”— : Indianapolis Journal. Bei^le —-I suspect that Carrie is going to get married .at last Mr. Manning was having a long talk with her last evening. Kate—But was he serious? Belle—Serjous? . Positively sad.—fßoston Transcript First Little your sister; begun takin' mosic lessons yet?”' Second Little Girl—“ She’s takin’ somefin’ on th’ piano, but I can’t tell yet whether it’s music or typewritin’.”—Good News. Thomas —“l say, Governor, nobody ever called you a donkey, did they?” Mr. Closely—“No, of course not.” Thomas —“That’s what I thought In this book it says large ears denote generosity.”—Texas Siftings. Anxious Mother —“ls that new neighbor’s little boy a nice boy?” Little Johnny—“Yes’m. When teacher asked him who hit him with a spitball he said he didn’t know, and he saw me hisself.”—Street & Smith’s Good News.

“I know why so many of our girls are unhappy when they are married to foreigners,” said Maud. “Why?’* asked Mamie. “They can’t get well enough acquainted with their husbands to pronounce their names.”— Washington Star. His Daughter’s Letter. —“ Dear Father —We are all well and happy. The baby has grown ever so much, and has a great deal more sense than he used to have. Hoping the same of you, I remain your daughter, Molly. ” —Tid-bits. Miss Poetique —“How dreamily delightful is the soothing sound of old ocean’s waves rolling up in the moonlight upon the silver Miss Practical—“ Yes, I always did like to hear the water sloshing around pn the beach. * —Somerville Journal. “Papa, dear,” said the old man’s testy daughter as she bent fondly over him during his last illness, “forgive me for asking you, but what are you going to leave your darling daughter, when you die?” ‘Fatherless!, cried the Irascible old gentleman, as he rolled over with bis face to the wall.—Texas Siftings. Small Artist— “Mamma, I painted this little girl in the picture and I’ve got the bureau alongside of her painted, but I want to paint a rouge box on the bureau and I can’t make it look right.” Mamma—“Why do you want a rouge box there?” Small Artist—“l’ve got her cheeks too red and’ I want it to look as if she did it her Self. ” —Exchange.