Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 March 1893 — Page 6

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BUCKING INTO SNOW.

WHAT SEVERE WINTERS MEAN TO RAILROADS. Thrilling Experiences of Trainmen on the Prairies Rotary Plows Which Scatter Snow Like Chaff—How the Lines Are Kept Open. Terrors of the Drifts. Of all seasons of the year for railroad Ben winter is the worst. To train and engine men it means extra work and increased hardships; to the officials added cares and anxieties; to the stockholder extra expenses and diminished dividends. It takes a much larger force to do a given amount of work in winter than it does in.summer. The oil or "dope” freezes in the boxes on the cars, making the journals turn hard and re-

quiring much more power to naul them. The snow makes a “bad rail"—that is, it makes the rails so slippery that the adhesive power of the engine drivers is reduced so that much less than the usual number of cars can he hauled up a grade and trains cannot make time. Then the ground is frozen hard, the

LAST RESORT OF THE OLD WAY.

frosty rails are more likely to break under the weight of trains, and a broken rail may cost half a dozen lives. The whole summer is devoted to preparations for winter. An extra force of men is employed in the shops in get-

ting motive power and rolling stock in good condition for the struggle in frost and snow. Hundreds of men are busy with steam shovels, gravel trains, and getting the roadbed in shape, and numerous bridge gangs look alter bridges and culverts. When the i 'ls once frozen about all the trackmen oan do is to patrol the track looking for broken rails and loose bolts, and shovel snow out of frogs and switches. When a joint sags in winter it cannot be leveled up with gravel tamped under the ties. ’ It must be “shimmed." A “shim” is a wedgeshaped piece of hardwood board about eight inches wide which is driven between the rail and the tie until the joint is level with the rest of the road. But it is with the first snow-storm that the trouble begins. When word is passed to the dispatcher that a blizzard is raging along the line freight trains already on the road are ordered to “tie up” at coal and water stations, passenger trains at eating stations, and trains not left terminal stations are “abandoned,” that is, ordered not to 1 deavo. When a train out on the road during a blizzard leaves one station and fails to report at the next in due time the dispatcher does not need to be told that that train is stuck hard and fast in a drift somewhere between the two stations. Accordingly he orders out a snow-plow and a way-car or two to pick up sectionmen to shovel out that train. This relief train stops at each sectionhouse on its way to pick up the “gangs, ” so that it soon has a good-sized force on board. The plow, or relief train, hurries to the last station tbs *• snow-bound train left; then proceeds under full control until the train is fenpg. The railroad men being familiar with the bad portions of the - are able to mua a jfcyto where the lost train will be fouad. ilipon reaching it the section riaeht ,ordered out to shovel the snofr away from the wheels, tbeagfow-plow couples on to the rear car'and assists the engine hauling the train %j>ack ootof the drifts Then snow wap,* and train back up to the torpsrmit the train to sidetrack and let the plow take the lead to clear the track. Or perhaps the relict pals may bo sent from the opposite mtm I >■

dis action—that is, meeting the snowbc and train. It depends . upmitj WbiQh wi y the train can be reached" the most re idily. When all trains are safe everybe iy simply waits until the storm ahfetes. Then comes “snow bucking." Hi ilroads within 300 miles of Chibago,

CENTRIFUGAL SNOW EXCAVATOR.

according to the Tribune, have but little “Snow bucking” to do. Did engineers on the Northwestern tell of times, when Chicago was somewhat smaller than now, when they had as hard battles with the drifts as any road west of the Missouri. One tale is told of a passenger train that ran into a

THE ROTARY SNOW PLOW.

snowdrift on “Buckhorn" Hill, a few miles south of Milwaukee, and stuck there twenty-four hours before it was shoveled out. The engine was buried completely except a small hole over the smoke-stack melted out by smoke and gases. On another occasion the same winter six engines coupled together made a run for a drift. The snow was packer, so hard that the engine carrying the plow left the rails and climbed up on the snow. When they came to a stop and got down to investigate, the other engine men found the front engine sticking up in the air at an angle of twentyfive degrees, and the engineer and fireman lying under the engine between the firebox and the tank. They were not seriously hurt. In the good old days that veteran railroaders tell of snow-bucking was done by means of a “push-plow.” which was fashioned something like the plows farmers use, except that instead of throwing the snow all to one side, as a big farmer’s plow would do it, threw*it equally on each side. In other words, the push-plow consists of two concave surfaces joined at an acute angle sloping up at an angle of forty-five degrees from a horizontal plate of steel at right angles to and two inches above the rail. The plow is constructed of heavy iron and massive timbers. It is the width of a car and the top is on a level with the bottom of the headlight. It is bolted on the front of the engine whore the

HOW THE ROTARY WORKS.

pilot is usually carried. In light snow one engine is sent out with the plow, again two, three, or even five engines are coupled together, according to the depth and extent of the drifts to be encountered. The push plow simply pushes the snow to the sides of the road. The engine or engines are always run at their highest speed, for their weight and momentum are depended on entirely to carry them through. If they were to run slowly they would stick in tho drifts and would have to be shoveled out. It is perilous business,for the snow packs so hard out on the great prairies of Kansas, Nebraska, Minnesota and Dakota that it often throws the plow from the track, particularly if it is a side drift, with the snow deeper on one rail than on the

other. Sometimes the plow slides up on top of the frozen snow without throwing the engine in.the ditch. Hardships, as well as danger, are connected with snow bucking. When running fine snow sifts In through the crevices in the cab, and, falling on the boiler-head, melts, filling the cab with steam. The clothes of the engineer and fireman are soon wet through, and they continue in that condition until their trip is finished. The cold air comes in through the same places that the snow does, so the men are not only wet but cold. The engineer is under a great and' constant strain to keep his engine up to its maximum capacity and watching the road. The fireman has no easier time than the

RESULTS OF BUCKING SNOW.

engineer, for the coal soon gets so full of snow that only the most expert fireman can keep steam up to serviceable pressure. Sometime an engineer and fireman are out from fifty-six to seven-ty-two hours on a snow-plow without a moment's rest and perhaps 1 but two or three meals during that time. As an exampie of what engine-men are sometimes called upon to endure, take the case of an engineer on the Northern Pacific, who was sent with a snow-plow west from Brainerd in the midst of a blizzard eight years ago to keep the road open. He was to be followed by other plows at intervals of a couple of hours. The officials hoped, in this way, to prevent a blockade. This engineer, after proceeding fifty miles, stuck in a drift. It was so stormy that he could not see the length of his engine. He had & big tank of coal, but the water was low, so he and the fireman took turns shoveling snow into the tank, where it was rnoltod by the “heater” —that is a small pipe to convey steam from the boiler to the tank, to prevent the water freezing. The storm lasted fifty-six hours. All the men had to eat during that time was one small lunch. When the wind went down, they found they were near a farm-house. There they procured food until relief came twenty-four hours later. The engineer was the only one of thirteen caught out on the road in that storm who kept his engine “alive. ” Five engine-men were frozen to death. If the snow is very deep the plow is followed by a “drag-out” and a gang of 200 or 300 shovelers. A “drag-out” is another engine to pull the plow engine out of a drift when it gets stuck. On coming to a deep cut the plow stops while the shovelers are brought up to “break” the snow. This is done by digging trenches across the track at a distance of 100 feet, more or less, so that the plow may not have a solid mass of snow to encounter. Then the plow engine backs up for a mile and a half and makes a run fqf the cut. By the time it strikes the drift it is going sixty miles an hour. The shock Is terrific. Often the plow buries itself completely and comes to a full stop in going 400 feet. The concussion throws a ton or so oi coal from the tank forward upon the deck of the engine. Sometimes it breaks the machinery so as to disable the engine totally—as the engineer would put it —“she strips herself. ” Then the shovalers come up and dig the snow away, and if the engine is all right the process is repeated until that cut is clear. It used to be a process of days to clear a division with push plows and shovelers. Each succeeding storm made matters worse, for the snow was simply pushed aside, not thrown out of the way. By the close of a hard

PASSENGER TRAIN FOLLOWING ROTARY.

winter a great portion of the lino would be lined on either side by precipitous cliffs of snow. Sometimes these cliffs became so high that the only way fresh drifts could be cleared away was by shoveling the snow upon flat cars and hauling it out to a place where it could be got rid of. But methods of snow bucking have improved with other branches of railway service. In 1886, J. 8. Leslie, of Brooklyn, an employe of the Ballway Mall Service, perfected a rotary plow which was designed to cut and throw snow from the track as nearly like the shovel in humau hands as it Is possible to utilize steam power. This first rotary plow made its trial trip on the Union Pacific Ballway In the winter of 1886 and 1887, making a record of 3,000 miles through snow that sometimes reached a depth of fifteen feet, at a cost of 16J cents a mile for operating both rotary and pusher. This was remarkable when compared with the cost of the old methods of snow bucking. The rotary has been Improved since then until It Is considered perfect. Now an entire division can be cleared of snow in a day without discomfort to tho men who do the work. The plow simply starts from one end of the division and keeps going at the rate of twelve to twenty miles an hour until it gets to the other end, and that is all there is to it. When it goes through a drift it opens a room s passage, throws the snow entirely out of the way, and “flanges, every foot of road. Flanging is cleaning out the snow between and below the level ol the rails. The rotary has been introduced on a large number of the Important lines between the Atlantic, and Pacific coasts. Thousands ot miles of track have been cleared by it without the loss of a single life, it.is claimed, or the wrecking of a single engine. Compared with the long lists of costly wrecks and numerous fatalities by the old methods of enowbucking this is something remarkable. The rotary is also in use on the German and Russian Government lines. Another plow built and operated on the same principle as tho Leslie rotary snow plow is the Jull centrifugal snow excavator. Instead of a flat wheel made up of cone-shaped scoops as in the Leslie plov%the Jail plow removes the snow by means ot a great auger with the point directed down. It Is operated in precisely the same way as the other.

An Absent-Minded Man.

Johns Hopkins University still gossips of Prof. Sylvester, the marvelous mathematician who came over from England to teach the science in which all his interests centered. His mind was ever occupied with mathematical problems, and all sorts of things happened to him on the streets of Baltimore. The most amusing episode of his life on this side, however, grew out of a voyage, to Europe. While abroad he made some highly important .calculations, but on reaching Baltimore he found that the paper on which he figured was missing. So important were the calculations that he took a steamer back to England in order to look up the papers. He did not find them, and started back to the United States deeply disappointed; but during the voyage he accidentally discovered, in a pocket of the overcoat he had worn on the previous voyage, the very thing he was iD search of.

The Reason for It.

An old law tract assumes to give in this simple language the origin of the tenancy by the law or courtesy of Eqgjand: |tjwas called the law of, England, because It.w&s invented in England on behalf of poor gentlemen who married -gentlewomen, and had nothing to support themselves after their wives’ death.

TRULY A DEPRAVED CAT.

He Killed Duckling* and Used Dead Bate to Divert Suspicion. James Grogan, a Wortendyck, N. J., peddler, who is familiarly known as “Ginger* Grogan on account of the color of his hair and the heat of his temper, owns a large yellow cat’ that, according to its owner’s story, should either be deprived of all its nine lives as a fitting retribution for its stupendous treacher or elevated to the loftiest pinnacle of honor and emolument as,the reward of hitherto unheard of feline sagacity. “Ginger” says that some time ago his house was infested with rats that not only attacked everything gnawable but established such familiar relations with the yellow cat that they often ran over her back with impunity. The peddler tried “rough on rats,” which killed half a hundred of the pests, and drove the rest from the house to the barn. This was a doubtful victory, for the banished rats began to prey upon a brood of halfgrown ducks that Grogan is raising. They would not touch any more of the “rough on rats, ” probably because they liked the flavor of the ducks better. Recently the cat took up her quarters in the barn, and remained there day and night. One morning last week Grogan, going to the barn, found the dead body of an immense rat, torn and bloody, with the cat growling over it. She had killed It but had not breakfasted from It Close to where the rodent had been slaughtered lay the bones and feathers of a duckling. Everything eatable about it had been consumed, and the cat apparently had pounced upon the rat Just as he had finished his meal. This was a very praiseworthy thing for the yellow cat to do, but when she did it on eight successive mornings her owner’s gratification was qualified by the loss of just that number of young ducks. He thought she ought to kill the rats more expeditiously, and he hid himself in the barn to ascertain why she was so slow in killing them. He says that he saw his cat kill a duckling. devour it, and then drag the hones to a position near a rat hole and wait patiently until the smell tempted a rat to come within reach of her claws. Then she slaughtered it, and sat by its body growling until her master saw her, hoping thus to direct suspicion, that might otherwise be leveled against herself, in the direction of the dead rat.

Learning Their Lesson.

Engine horses which are expected to rush from their stalls at an alarm of fire differ as much in their capability for learning that duty as schoolboys at their tasks. Half a minute is the maximum time for companies in a first-class department to make ready and leave the house. And the ordinary time is fifteen or twenty seconds. At a night alarm the men slide down on poles from the loft, the horses scramble to their feet, the doors in front of them fly open, and out they rush. Each horse goes to his proper place, and the driver, from his seat, let down the harness. Two or three men, standing at the pole, snap the collars together, fasten the reins to the bits, and off they go. The author of “Road, Track, and Stable” says that teaching a new horse to come out of his stall at the signal, and range himself alongside the pole, is not sc difficult as might be supposed. Imagine a pair of new horses assigned to an engine. The surroundings are more or less terrible to them, but they are very gently and carefully handled, and gradually lose their fear. Their tuition begins at once, and the driver is their teacher, assisted by the other men. The ordinary signal is given as if for a fire. The stall doors open, and the horse? are led out, put in position, and in a few minutes led back. This process is perhaps a dozen times repeated. Great pains are taken that the animals shall not strike against anything, or be by any means frightened. * The unusual spectacle of a harness suspended in air is apt to disturb them at first, but they are led slowly up to it, and induced to smell of it and inspect it on all sides. After they have been led to their positions a few times, they are allowed to come of their own accord when the signal strikes, though a man stands behind them to touch them up a little, if they do not start promptly at the opening of the doors. Two weeks constitute the average period of instruction, but horses have been known to learn in one lesson. Others, however, are months in arriving at equal proficiency. A pair of new horses in a Boston engine-house were led out three times in this manner. They were then left to themselves. The gong sounded, the stall doors opened and the pair trotted out, each going to his place beside the pole. They had caught the idea at once.

Selecting a Title.

From first to last Dickens did his work conscientiously, and the selection of titles was a matter of grave anxiety to him, many being rejected before one was chosen. The familiar name of Chuzzlewit, Howard Paul tells us, went through a curious process of evolution. First it was Sweezleden, then Sweezlebuck, then Sweezleway. None of these would do. The Sweezle then became Chuzzle, and there was a new series of Chuzzletoe. Chuzzleboy, Chuzzlewig, and, finally Chuzzlewit. For “Hard Times” nineteen or twenty titles were rejected. Here are some of them: “Heads and Tails,” “Two and Two are Four,” “Our HardHearted Friend,” “Bust and Dust,” “A Mere Question of Figures,” “Mr. Gradgrind’s Facts, ““Black and White. ” “David Copperfleld” was especially troublesome. Even after he had fixed upon the hero’s name it took him some time to arrange the exact form of the title. During a sojourn in Genoa Dickens was puzzling his brain to find a , title for one of his Christmas tales, when the city bells rang out a peal of chimes. He was in a nervous, excited state, and the noise of the bells agitated him. But they gave him the title he was seeking, and he called the book “The Chimes." Another hovel for which he found it difficult to decide upon a name was “Bleak House." We might kave known it under any of the fol-

lowing titles: “The Solitary House that was Always Shut Up,” “The East Wind," “The Ruined Mill that Got Into Chancery and Never Got Out,” “The Solitary House Where the Grasses Grew.” No doubt Dickens invented some of the names of his characters, but many of the most remarkable were borrowed from signs that met his view in his journeys. I Imagined tnat Chadband was a made name—lt fits the character to whom the author applied it so exactly; but it was the name of either a baker or a grocer on the outskirts of the town of Warwick. Jull was the name of a confectioner; Pickwick that of a job-master at Bath. In later life the novelist collected and stored up names for future use, making use of such sources as directories and the small towns in railway guides.

To Clean and Preserve Harness.

But few people think of the economy of a little vigorous rubbing and oiling the harness. With modefate care a set can be made to last just twice as long as it ordinarily does.' Yet there is a greater object in view t an saving the wear and tear of the leather. It is a humane one. You can’t make me believe that a man loves his horse, no matter if he expresses his devotion in ,the strongest terms, if he is too mean or too lazy to oil up the harness and soften it. How hard the shoes 6n your feet get and painful and pinching when they become water-soaked and neglected for the want of some oil to soften them. It is exactly the same with the harness on a horse’s back. Did you ever notice that he never wants it on when it is in a stiff and unwieldy condition? A harness should be thoroughly washed at least once a week with pure castile soap and a sponge, and then oiled with neatsfoot oil in profuse quantities. Dubbin is also a good grease for the purpose, but neatsfoot oil is the best. After the application is made rub the leather dry, so as not to leave any grease spots on the surface, for if any are left the dirt collects and sticks fast. To complete the job the mountings should be rubbed up with some kind of polish. Putz pomade L* the best for the purpose. It comes in small boxes, costing about 5 or 10 cents each, and may be obtained from any dealer in turf goods. Harness should always be hung up by the hook in the saddle, the bridle suspended from a hook of its own and the lines tied nicely in the bit. Hang the hames and collar or breast-collar from a higher hook. When hung in this manner harness will never lop out of shape or get to looking awkward. Always be particular with youi reins and scrutinize them when cleaning for the purpose of detecting a flaw in the leather. The most distressing accidents have happened by tbe lines breaking when driving a frightened or uncontrollable horse, and a little previous attention will avoid the possibility of any such accident. Riding saddles should be put on a rack not less than three feet above the floor, to prevent the rats from gnawing the padding and the destructive vermin from settling there. Considerable care should also be exercised in keeping the back of the saddle perfectly free from dirt or any lumpy settlement. Nothing is more painful to a horse’s back, and skin disease often results. Buggy whips should be kept perpendicularly suspended from the cracker. This isthe only way to keep them straight Make a little slot in one of the beams above your head just large enough to slip the end of the whip in, and you have your whip slot. Keeping the whip hung this way also saves its lasting qualities. It is hardly necessary to say anything about how to keep robes,blankets, and rubbers clean a id dry. Everybody knows that a horse’s life is in jeopardy with wet covers as a man’s is with wet clothes. They should always be thoroughly aired and dried when used and kept in a dry place..—Farm and Home.

Where Tact Was Needed.

A distinguished foreigner visiting our shores, on meeting an American author of some distinction, blandlyasked him if he had ever written anything. Here was a stab to administer to a man’s vanity! A woman would never have made a blunder of that sort; she would have found out all about the writer’s books before she met him, and made some clever reference to them before she had been five minutes in his company. It is hard to imagine a situation from which a woman’s tact will not extricate her. An amusing story is told in this connection by a well-known authoress: While in Trouville, I met a young American and his wife. 1 knew the latter quite well. In fact, she had been a seamstress for me, and the man she married was one of Philadelphia’s Hundred and Fifty. She was clever, pretty, well educated, and an improvement in her fortunes enabled her to meet her husband in the regular way. He married her, but was not aware of the social position she had formerly occupied. I met them on the promenade and could hardly disguise my surprise; but her tact came to tjie rescue and saved us all from an awkward position. Here is what she said to me, even before I had a chance to catch my breath: “I am so glad to see you! We need no introduction. What a delightful time I had at you house in New York the last time you were so good as to entertain me! We would like to stay and talk with you, but have a pressing engagement,” and with this my friend’s pretty wife grasped her husband’s arm and pulled him away. While the whole proceeding may be looked upon as one in which assurance played its part, the wife displayed a tact that to me was charming. She was quite good enough for her husband, and knew it, but was afraid that in an unguarded moment I might say something that would give him an idea of the state affairs before she had the opportunity to enlighten him. That man will have a happy domestic life, for nowhere is tact more indispensable than in the home.

Half a Lifetime.

A man in Dakota was lately sentenced to prison for half a lifetime, and the Supreme Court has decided that the time means nineteen years seven months and four days.

A FIENDISHLY CRUEL RACE.

Fright ul Practices of tbe Dahomeyans, Whom France Subdued. Shortly after the battle in which the French soldiers in Africa finally put the Dahomeyans to rout a couple of reconnoitering Frenchmen, turn-

THE SENTRY OF DEATH.

ing down a by-path leading to the high road, suddenly saw the gleam of the barrel of a rifle. One of them hastily put up his carbine and was about to Are when his comrade’s exclamation caused him to take a second glance at the object. What they saw was enough to make a toughened savage shudder. It was the sentry of death! A ghastly grinning skeleton, impaled on a sharpened pole, with its feet skewered, and with its gun fastened in hideous mockery to give the effect of a challenging outpost, greeted the sight of the horrified soldiers. From the make of the rifle it was easily surmised that this victim was one of the French pris- 1 oners that had fallen into King Behanzin’s clutches. A photograph taken in Dahomey and sent to the London Graphic illustrates a method of torture and execution of war prisoners that equals the Spanish Inquisition in cruelty.

EXECUTION OF DAHOMEYAN WAR IFISONERS.

The prisoners are hung head downward on a frame and left there to> die, while vultures and buzzards are encouraged to hover around them and attack them.

CYCLONE HOUSES.

A. Kansas Man Devises a Safe Scheme for His Neighbors* A structure for use in countries where hurricanes and cyclones are liable to occur, and which will afford a secure temporary shelter during the heaviest storms, is shown in the accompanying illustration from the tat. Louis Republic, and has been invented by a Kansas man. A number of posts are arranged in a circle and. inclined to connect with each other at the top, forming a conical shell, the lower ends of the posts being firmly secured to horizontal anchor beamssome distance below the surface of the ground. The framework is- covered by a sheathing of heavy planks,

THE CYCLONE HOUSE.

the top layers of which are nailed one upon the other and shaped to form a round top. The plank covering extends a short distance below the ground,and this covering is metal clad, making an earth connection for electrical currents, conducting wires also leading from the lower edge of the covering further down into the ground. A heavy door, also covered by sheet metal, allows access to tbe interior, which is suitably floored and is pr< v ded with a circular seat. Id the top are a number of vertical ventilating pipes or tubes, and there is also an underground ventilating pipe, terminating in the outer air just outside the building, and affording an ample circulation of air within when the door is tightly closed.

Too Cunning.

A man and woman found themselves wedged in a crowd in one of the streets of New York, says the Herald. They had come out to see the parade—it may have been at the recent Columbus celebration —and as things were they could 6ee nothing. The man had a bright idea. “When I give the word, Julia, you scream and faint.” Julia waited. The signal came, and she flopped over into her escort’s arms. “Give me air,” she gasped. “Airl air!” cried the man. The crowd parted, and the man and woman emerged at the front. The woman revived, and the pair made ready to enjoy the show. • Just then, however, an ambulance dashed up Some had turned in a signal. “You can’t be too careful about these cholera cases,” said the surgeon, with a wink. “I’d better take you both along for inspection." And they did not see the parade. Since the Cape diamond fields were discovered in 1867, 50,000,000 carats of stonee, valued at *350,000,000, have been exported. These "would load up two big coal trains.

HUMOR OF THE WEEK.

STORIES TOLD. BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. M*ay 044, Curious, and blSfh|blt Phases of Homan Katun Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Word Artists -of Our Own Day. Sprinkles of Spice. The condition of the sponge crop Is of absorbing Interest.—Troy Press. The poker-player does not use visiting cards when he is calling.—Picayune. Nails should be sold at auction. They go well under tbe hammer.— Picayune. The winter girl has one satisfaction—lt’s chappy weather. —Philadelphia Record. Sometimes a man is so deep that he is absolutely without foundation. —Galveston News. Geologists say the cradle of the deep has nothing to do with making the bed rock.—Texas Siftings. You realize that silence is golden when you cofhe to settle for a case of Mumm.— Binghamton Leader. Illustrious ancestry Is a glorious thing to have, but it won’t be taken as security for a hot stew. —Chester (Pa.) News. One is sometimes surprised at having bought goods so cheap—until after the peddler is gone.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Thompson —“ Suppose a man should call you a liar, what would you do?” Jones (hesitatingly) “What sized man?”—Tid-Bits. The worst about the average crank is that while he inevitably turns up he objects to being turned down.— Philadelphia Times. Bessie— He was very impudent. He put his arm aroffnd me twice. Jessie—Humph! He must have had a very long arm.—Puck. A man never realizes how much furniture be owns until he tries to walk rapidly through the house in the dark.—Etoile Beige.

Mr. Younghusband— “Darling, you have been weeping. What is it my sweetest love?” Mrs. Younghusband —“Horeseradish!”—Tid-Bits. Stranger (to Pat, drinking apollinaris) —“How does It taste, Pat?” Pat—“ Faith, it tastes like as if my fut was asleep."—Harvard Lampoon. “Young Nuwed is having a hard time In bis venture into matrimony." “How is that?” “Neither his wife nor his servant girl know how to cook.”—New York Press. He— Do you Jove me, darling? She—Sometimes I think I do, and them again, when you have on that hideous baggy new overcoat, I doubt the strength of my affection.—TidBits. Little Johnny— May I hitch the dog to my sled and have him pull me? Mother —I’m afraid he will bite you, Little Johnny—lt’s the other end I’m going to hitch.—Good News. A Gentle Hint.— Mr. Short—Ehi Beg pardon, Miss Wosalie, but—eh—isn’t that mistletoe that you have in your hair? Miss Rosalie—Yes, " Mr. Short, it is.. What of it?*-Harper’s Bazar. “Why did you arrest this man?” asked the judge, sternly. “For practice/’returned the policeman. “I’m new on the force, and I wanted to learn, how, your honor.”—Harper’s Bazar. Gent— l should like to have my photo taken, but I want it to be nice-looking. Photographer—Never fear, sir, it shall be so handsome that you won’t know it yourself.—Der Sehalk. * First Clothier— Your’re a fool to call that suit the Rip Van Winkle. Second Clothier—What would you call it? First Clothier—The never Rip Yam Winkle, man! —The Clothiers’ Weekly. Miss Porter —Did ypu notice the blank look of that gentleman who sat down on his silk hat? Mr. Murray—No; but I’m glad you didn’t hear the blank words he used.— Princeton Tiger. A Chance to Rise. —Butcher—l need a boy about your size and will give you *3 a week. Applicant— Will I have a chance to rise? “Yes; I want you to' be here at 4 o’clock every morning.”—Life. Mbs* Timothy Seed —“ Where’s Lizzie?” Miss Gaskett—“l just left her in the arms of Morpheus.” Mrs. Tlmfothy Seed (scandalized)—What! And she engaged to Joe Pender! Show me where she is this minute.”

Domestic Peace Assured. —Wife —“And so you got your life insured for my benefit! That’s lovely!” Husband —“Yes, my dear; but, just remember, if you drive me to suicide you won’t get a cent.” —New York Weekly. Mrs. Hicks —Why, Mrs. Dix, how pale you lcok. Mrs. Dix —Yes; I’ve -been having lots of trouble lately [with a boil. Mrs. Hicks—l’m so !sorry. Was it on your neck? Mrs. DiX —No; It was on my husband.— Somerville Journal. Salesman, (great store) —This coat fits your little girl nicely. Lady (thinking of next season) —Yes, it does now, but I think we’d better take a size larger. Little Girl—-Oh, yes, I forgot. We have to wait fjr our change. —Good ne we. “I don’t know what has come over our son since he went to work in a shoe store,” said Mrs. Blaggins. “He was looking at the calendar, and he spoke of the figure 6 as 3, and 4 as 2. His mind musu be going wrong.” “Oh,” replied her busbaDd, “thaVs all right. They have put him to work .selling shoes to the lady customers."—Washington Star.

Louisiana's Rice Crop.

A Louisiana man says that the rice crop of that State this year will be fully one-half of the entire crop of the United States. “The raising of rice,” he says, “has worked wonders for the interest of our State It has practically opened up a new industry in the agricultural lice, and hundreds of farmers who thought their lands valuless when the cotton gave out now find themselves in a position that will soon place them in one year •where cotton could not put'them in five. It is really the'most lucrative of all the new industries ia the South.”