Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 7, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 March 1893 — OUR BUDGET OF FUN. [ARTICLE]

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

- i■. t > ■ i HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed ta Bare Been Recently Born—Sayings and Doings that Are Odd. Curious and Laughable. Sprinkles of Spice. All France is now talking through its Panama.—Memphis Appeal. A dog’s bark does not always indicate that he is upon the seize.—Boston Courier. . The couple who “married for fun’ afforded a large amount of it in the divorce court.—Puck. ' ; “This Is undoubtedly a skip 'gamp, , r . said the man who had been cheated in the purchase of furs.—Washington Star. - . LaviniA —Yes, James and I are to become partners for life. Mabel —And you will be the senior partner. How sweet!—Judy, Mrs. Bilkins— What a commanding presence that lady has. Mr. Bilkins—Yes, I guess she’s married.— New York Weekly. However much we may Severe the wisdom of the ancients, a 20-year-old" eacyclopedia is a great accumulator of cobwebs.—Puck.

“In some respects the ancient Romans had the best of us.” “Give me an instance.” “They hadn’t got to lcarh Latin."—Half Holiday. Perhaps the strongest advocate oi an extra session is the young man whose best girl’s parents hold him down to one call per week. —Exchange. Photographer —Now, madam, a pleasant expression, please? Son-in-law (in the background)—Whew! I must not miss that!—Fliegende Blaetter. “Let’s go back and break a bottle, Cholly?” “Impossible, my deah boyl I’ve quit breaking.” “Why so?” “I’m broke already.”—Atlanta Constitution. “This,” said the youngster; as he gazed at his effulgent metal-tipped shoe, “must be what they call the light fantastic toe.”—Washington Star. Jess —To be safe, a young girl should keep her heart under lock and key. Jack—l fancied most of them did keep it at the bottom of their chests.—Quips. “My son is a smart hoy at a bargain,” said Hicks. “He sold a 82C gold piece his grandfather .gave him last Christmas to a coin collector foi sls yesterday.”—Puck. Mrs. Downycouch —Burglars broke into the church last night and took everything. .The Rev. Downycouch (absent-minded) —Did they take a collection?—Texas Siftings.

“How does Editor Scrabbleton manage to get such a reputation for originality?” “He waits till all the other people have expressed their views and then disagrees with them. ” Washington Star. Gilgal —‘“lf you want anything well done do it ■ ypurself,' is a good rule.” Mullins—‘T' know a better one. If you want anything well done tell the waiter to bring it rare.” —Harper’s Bazar. Timid Citizen (who has just escaped from a riot) —Who are you, sir? Policeman—l am a member of the police force. There’s my badge. Timid Citizen (vociferously—Help! help!—Washington Star. In Boston.— Tourist — I’d like a conveyance this afternoon at 4 o’clock. Liveryman—Yes, sir. Do you mean a vehicle or a blank legal form for the conveyance o'! real estate. —Pittsburg Dispatch. A London magazine has been suppressed for publishing one of Queen Victoria’s poems. It seems to us that the editor might have established an alibi by showing that it was not.poetry.—Memphis Appeal. “No,” said good old Mrs. Jenkins; “I haven’t any faith in these newfangled specifics. I’ve buried eight children in my time; and the good old-fashioned yarbs is plenty good enough for me.’’—Somerville Journal. Husband —“ Mercy! what have you got all the gas turned on full force for?” Wise —“As a matter of economy, John. I want to consume SI,OOO worth this year so’s to get the discount of 10 cents a thousand.”— Boston Transcript. Perterze Irnchzizkowskelowski Is a San Francisco cabinet-maker, and Perterje Zmuchzizkomskekovylowski is a Buffalo boiler-maker. The consequences of a chance meeting of these two men in a narrow Boston street would be too horrible to Contemplate.—Rochester Post Express.