Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 January 1893 — A COMING QUANDARY. [ARTICLE]

A COMING QUANDARY.

Teacher (of a class of physics)—Of what is paper now chiefly made? Pupil—Of wood. Teacher—ls the world's supply of wood inexhaustible? Next Pupil—lt is not. It is consumed in the arts and manufactures many times faster than it grows. Teacher—Then what will the world use for a substitute when the wood is all gone? Third Pupil—Paper.—[Chicago Tribune. MIGHT JUST AS WELL HAVE LOST. Bunker—Nice hat of yours. Hill—Y’es. That hat cost me SB. Bunker—l thought you won it on the election. Hill—Did. I bet with my wife.— Clothier and Furnisher. A SERIOUS FAULT. “Do you think my son will ever make an artist?” asked a fond parent of the painting-master. “YVell, sir,” replied the teacher, cautiously, “I think there would not be the slightest doubt of his becoming a great artist if he were not unfortunately colorblind.”

NOT A SUCCESS. Inventor—What do you think of my flying machine? Capitalist—H’m, it doesn’t carry me away. TOO INDEFINITE. The Voice from the Telephone—la this Mr. Titters? Titters—Y'es; who are you? The Voice from the Telephone (sweetly)—Y T our fiancee, love. Titters—Er—can’t you be a little more explicit?—[Chicago News Record. TAUGHT lIOW TO SHOOT. “The young idea how to shoot,” he taught, And with success, to me he proudly said, ‘Twas true; for, as he spoke, as quick as thought A paper pellet hit him in the head. TIIE REASON. “Do you wear eye-glasses because you think you look better with them?” asked Miss Pert. “I wear them because I know I look bettfer with them,” answered the shortsighted man, sadly. NOT lIIS TO CIVE. “Your money or your life,” said the gentleman at the safe end of the revolver. “But, my dear man, I can’t give you either,” protested the victim. “They both belong tomy wife.”

VEItV CONSCIENTIOUS. Studcns—Waiter, where is my bill? Man of the World—That is not the Way to ask for it. You should say, “VVuiter, I would like to settle my account.” Student—lndeed! Well, lam sorry to say that I am not such au accomplished liar as to be able to make that statement. —[Fliegeude Blaetter. EXPLAINED IN PART. Tanks —What led you to suspect last night that I had been drinking? Mre. T.—l can’t imagine, unless possibly it was the fact that you were drunk.— [Buffalo Quips. WONDERFUL FLIES. At the Post Office. Postmaster—What a wonderful instinct flies have! Lohrnann has just-sent me a telegram in which he says that a cask of honey is on its way to me, and I’m hanged if there is not a swarm of flies already at the post office window waiting for it. —[Fliegende Blaetter. THE P. S. BOTHERED lIER. “Haven’t you written that letter yet, Anne?” “Yes. George, dear. That is, all except the postscript. I’m trying to think of something to say in it.”— [Harper’s Bazar. nONORS STILL EASY. Mother—The paper says a cat out West has four kittens with six legs each.

What do you think of that ? Little Ethel—That’s—lemme see—that’s twenty-four legs. Well, our cat has six kittens with four legs each, an’ that’s just as many.—[Good News. A CASE OP LOCKJAW. “Lockjaw must be a very unpleasant thing to have.” “It is indeed. I carry a scar in the calf of my left leg from a case of it.” “Of lockjaw?” “Yes. A hull-dog and I had it together.” —[Hater’s Bazaar. A POPULAR TAX. Binks—l read a curious article the other day advocating a tax on beauty. Jinks—Good- idea. They won’t have much trouble in collecting it.—[Quips. GREEN ENOUGH. She—Did \-oar grandfather live to a green old age ? •

He.-Well, i should say sol He waa buncoed three times after he was seventy. —[Life. J MUST BE WORN OCT. I imagine the Statue of Liberty in New York must be cold these wintry days—But it is not strange, for she has had but one New Jersey all these years! —[Buffalo Quips. A mother’s description. “Your little girl has red hair, hasn’t she, Mrs. Minks ?” “No, indeed. Her hair is a rich auburn, tinged with light terra-cotta.”— [Chicago News-Record.