Democratic Sentinel, Volume 17, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 January 1893 — Page 6

®l)c motrotitSf ntinel RENSSELAER, INDIANA. >: H * 3w. McEWEN, - - PunusmtE.

GREAT MEN FOR SPORT.

PASTIMES OF THE NATION'S v CHIEF EXECUTIVES. Arthur, Harrison and Cleveland w Hunters and Fishermen-Grant's Fasf Horses ( and Jackson’s Cob Pipe—Lincoln Attended Theaters Washington Enjoyed the Chase. Presidential Amusements. Cleveland is probably the most thoroughgoing sportsman that has ever oooupied the Presidential office. At the same time tb« methods of hunting r and fishing which he prefers are not suoh as are regarded with the highest . approbation by experts in the use of rod and gun. He doea not care to cast the l fljr for trout, but prefers to troll for bluefish. Quail, which afford the finest sport In the neighborhood of Washings' ton, have never served as game for him, success with them requiring patient walking and great quickness. He has found it more amusing to shoot ducks from behind a blind in the Chesapeake, or to kill deer with anight light in the Adlrondacks instead of stalking them iby day. President Harrison is a duck hunter. Though a poor shot, he is very fond of the sport, and he also has popped away ,at these water fowls in the Chesapeake. The ducks of that region have been Presidential game ever since the Gov-

WASHINGTON AT THE END OF A FOX CHASE.

ernment began. It is probable that George Washington bagged many a braee of them. In his day eanvasbacks were thick in the Potomac. Subsequent Presidents have mostly taken a shot at them. It will be remembered that Mr. Harrison, three years ago, mistook a pig for a coon in the Virginia

[?]R. CLEVELAND TROLLING FOR BLUEFISH.

woods And killed the animal. Unfortunately, It was not a wild, but an educated pig, belonging to a colored person in that vicinity, who received payment for it from the club which was entertaining the President as its guest at the time. Mr. Cleveland earned the reputation of being the hardest working President that the ctountry has ever had, accord-

lag to a Washington correspondent in the Globe-Democrat. In that respect he even excelled Mr. Harrison. Nevertheless, during his term at the White House he found time for an occasional •game Of billiards, at which he is quite expert. He is also a particularly good whist player, and puts up a strong game of poker now and then in compaay with a few Intimate friends. He does not care much for driving, which has always been Mr. Harrison’s favorite amusement Mrs. Cleveland used to attend the famous paper-chases whioh amused the society of Washington When she was a bride. Arthur ■ Fisherman. President Arthur was a really scientific fisherman. Sport with rod and reel was his favorite outdoor enjoyment. On one occasion he and Gen. Sheridan went out to the Yellowstone Park to fish, hunt and camp out They got away so far out of reach of the telegraph that the Chief Executive of the nation practically forsook the reins of government tor many days. If anything serious had happened to require action by him, as might very possibly have occurred, it would have been necessary to put scouts *n his trail to hunt him down. Mr. Arthur tried his best to get some fun ,*at of his term of office, bqt he found it very difficult. The President is the hardest-worked man in the United States, and he can hardly take a vacation, without carrying the shop with feist. Wjleo Mr. Cleveland went up into •■fptjßPQi Woods, he still remained to ■ ■

PRESIDENT HARRISON HUNTING DUCKS.

some extent In harness, a line of couriers connecting his camp where he went with the nearest telegraph office. Mr. Arthur was very fond of the theater, especially comedy, because he liked to laugh. Above all things he delighted in giving little stag dinners at the White House, to which he invited the men who talked best and were most congenial. The billiard table on which Mr. Cleveland has played and will play again at the White House was originally purchased for President Garfield. Gen. Garfield had. the present billiard-room in the basement of the Executive Mansion fitted up for that purpose, and he played there a great deal with his most particular friends. He was very fond of all kinds of games. He was a first-rate horseback rider, and held an honorary membership in the Washington BaseBall Club. Before he became President he used to attend the base-ball games regularly. President Hayes was nothing of a sport. In fact, it may fairly be said that he had no amus'ement whatever. He cared nothing for driving, and he was never known to play any games. He was socially disposed, however, and used to receive visitors commonly in the evening together with Mrs. Hayes. Gen. Grant’s favorite game was “Boaston.” He used to play it a great deal with Gen. Van. Vliet and Gen. Rufus Ingalls, the latter formerly Chief Quartermaster of the Army of the Potomac. Both pf these officers are still living and on the retired list. The amusement in which the hero of Appomattox found most pleasure, however, was driving. He was extremely fond of speeding over the road holding the reins of a faster trotter Nearly every afternoon he drove out in a buegy with his fleet mare “Julia." He also owned a dark bay charger named “Cincinnatus,"

and a pair of carriage horses of fine action, “St. Louis” and “Egypt.” The General carried into the White House his army habits of regularity. After breakfast every morning he was accustomed to take a walk, always with his left hand behind him and his right hand holding a lighted cigar. His favorite dishes were rare roast beef and boiled hominy. IJncoln Love 1 Shakspeare. President Lincoln was too seriously and anxiously busy during his tonahcy of tho White House to indulge in many amusements. The favorite occupation of his leisure moments was reading Shakspeare. He went to the theater a good deal, especially enjoying the plays of Shakspeare. His favorite character was Falstaff, and ho-, had a cordial personal liking for James H. Hackett, who was the greatest Falstaff this country ever produced. Their intimacy was broken up by Hackett’s ambition to represent the United States abroad as a Minister Plenipotentiary. Mr. Lincoln did not think it proper to confer this honor upon the actor, and a break in their friendship was the result. That iB the way in which* presidential friendships usually end. A President can hardly venture to indulge an intimacy with anybody, because if he does so the person admitted to,confidence almost invariably demands something which can not be granted. In this respect a President of the United States is most unfortunate. Scarcely any tramp is so entirely friendless as he. Those whose friendship is most desirable shrink from approaching him lest their motives be lniseonstrued, and ho js perpetually surrounded by a crowd of political and other sycophants. It is hardly possible for him to have a real friend. President Pierce was enormously popular. Every day he took a regular constitutional from the White House to the Capitol along Pennsylvania avenue and back, bowing to everybody right

and left. He and his wife paid social visits regularly, quite contrary to usage, to the families of their New Hampshire friends who had clerkships in the departments, and he entertained them as guests. President Harrison the first used to go to market early in the morning two or three times a week, and on one occasion he was caught in the rain,

INTERVIEWING PRESIDENT TYLER.

the result being a cold vthlch caused his death. Mrs. Polk would not allow dancing at the White House when her husband was President. » ......, President Tyler whs a very social man and enjoyed a game of poker for small '? -V<

stakes. He lived very simply at the White House, as if on his plantation, attended by the old family slaves, He always asked visitors to take something from the sideboard in the dining-room, which was garnished with decanters as well as with a bowl of Juleps In summer aud a bowl of egg-nogg in winter. In this sort of hospitaUty he expended nearly all his salary, which was only $25,000. He had one remarkable ex-

JACKSON'S COB PIPE.

perience with a notorious woman named Ann Royall. She edited a paper called the Paul Pry, and made herself so offensive in various ways that she was indicted as a common scold under the old common law, and only by a very narrow squeak escaped immersion by the “ducking stopl. One day she caught Mr. Tyler bathing in the Potomic and succeeded in Interviewing him by sitting on his clothes until he told her what she wanted. This exploit has certainly not been excelled by the doings of any of the modern unterrifled female reporters who contribute so much that is interesting to contemporary journals. Jackson's Cob Pipe. The favorite solace of Andrew Jackson’s leisure was smoking a corn-cob pipe. He declared that no other vehicle for the absorption of tobacco smoke was so sweet and delightful. It is said that his wife also, during her lifetime, was addicted to the corn-cob. As will be remembered he introduced a new order ol things at the White House, disdaining aristocratic refinements and doing away with the elaborate etiquette previously in vogue. His favorite sport was cockfighting, and at home he owned a breed of birds which were regarded as invincible. Some of them he brought to Washington to fight; but, much to his disgust, they were defeated Little is known about the diversions in which James Monroe found recreation. Jefferson sought to escape‘from the anxieties of government by playing the fiddle. Neither he nor Madison was a sport in any sense. John Quincy Adams was the pedestrian President and swimmer. Gen. Washington was in his prime a great sportsman. He was particularly fond of fox hunting, keeping a pack ol hounds from imported stock and several hunters. With these he hunted almost every day. In fact, he lived in all respects as does the typical country gentleman in Virginia at present. The story that Washington once threw a stone across the Potomac was long ago exploded, buch a feat would not have been possible for any man who was not constructed after the pattern of a rifle. The fact seems to be that he did throw a shilling across the Rappahannock. But, whether he did or not, Mr. Depew declares that the greatest exploit of his life was to “throw a crown across the Atlantic."

CHANCE FOR RICH MEN.

Let Them Unite In an Effort Looking to Improvement In Country Roads. Millionaires who don’t know how to lay out their money to advantage will find a good suggestion in an article by ex-Governor James A. Beaver on good roads. He says: “It is not impossible for us to hope for some improvement, even under our present unsatisfactory laws, in certain favored localities and under exceptional conditions. An example or two which will appeal to the readers of the Forum will best convey the impression desired to be made. A. J. Cassatt, whose country residence is In Montgomery county, adjoining Philadelphia, well known in railroad and business circles and in the community at large as an engineer of brilliant attainments and as a railroad manager of large and varied experience, and who is also a lover and breeder of fine horses, was a few years ago elected—probably partly as a joke and partly in the hope of securing the benefit of his knowledge and experience—a road supervisor for the township in which he lived. To the surprise of many he accepted the position, levied the highest amount of tax allowed under the law, summoned his neighbors and secured voluntary contributions'from those who were interested in good roads for driving purposes, and as a result during his official term secured for that township the best common roads in Pennsylvania. Another gentleman In one of the suburbs of Philadelphia, anxious to benefit his kind and to secure for his neighbors the greatest comfort and convenience in everyday life, located, laid out, and built at his own expense some two miles of model public road, which he presented to the municipality in which he lived. These two practical examples furnish by busy business men arc suggestive of what can be done, even under existing circumstances and discouraging legal surroundings. “As to the practical results arising from the improvements just referred to, there have been undoubted enhancement of the valus of real estate, an influx of desirable population, and the largest possible increase to the comfort and convenience of all the people of those regions who make use of these roads. If a good road, thoroughly constructed, will endure for a thousand years with ordinary repairs, what better monument can a man who wishes to benefit his kind raise to his memory, how can he contribute to the welfare oi his fellows more fully and for a longer period, and how better perpetuate his memory than by following the example of the gentleman last mentioned, and by giving his own name to the roadsthus constructed?”

Simple but Shrewd.

On a recent rainy Sunday two nige-looking, well-mannered men stationed themselves in the vestibule ol the English Church and relieved all who entered of their umbrellas, saying that the vicar disliked having wet umbrellas carried into the church. When the services were ended the people looked for the two men, but they had quietly stolen away—and also the umbrellas, without waiting for the benediction.

IOWA HAS PURE MILK.

The HawJceye Inspection System— A Good law That Is Kl|fi<lly Enforced. There are no pale, sickly or unhealthy babies in Iowa; they are all lat and jolly. This highly satisfactory condition of Hawkeye infants is,

directly due, so Dairy Commissioner Tupper claims, to the fifst-class milk law in operation in the State and the able manner in which it is enforced. lowa, it is admitted all around, has one of the best dairy laws

that were ever framed. From the very day it went into effect, however, the quality of the milk used in the principal cities in the State has steadily Improved, and now it Is found that the products of the dairy there are way above the legal standard. Milk to be good must, according to the law, contain 3 per cent, of butter fat. During the month of July, out of the many tests that were made in various parts of the State, there were only four dealers whose milk was 1 per cent, higher than the legal figure, while the bulk of the milk barely passed the law. Tests made a month later, however, showed the milk of fifteen dealers to contain 4 per cent, of butter fat, and now it is rarely that the tests show less than 3.50 or 4 per cent. Commissioner Tupper is uow satisfied that there is no State in the Union where purer milk is sold. The law provides that any person who shall sell, or exchange, or expose for sale, deliver or bring to another for domestic use, or to be converted into any product of human food whatsoever, any unclean, impure, unhealthy, adulterated, unwholesome or skimmed milk, or milk taken from an animal having disease, or was taken from an animal fifteen days before or less than five days after parturition, shall, upon conviction thereof, be lined not less than $25 nor more than SIOO, and be liable in double the amount of damages to the persons on whom such fraud shall be committed. The law authorizes the dairy commissioners to appoint agents in every city having over 10,000 inhabitants, and to collect samples of the milk sold in such cities. It is their duty to forward such samples to the office of the commissioner in Des Moioes. The compensation of such agent at any one time is not to be more than $3 for collecting and delivering the same to express companies. The law also provides that the number of times samples are.collected in each city shall not exceed an average of thirty times during any one year.

AN INDIAN IN CONCRESS.

Charles Curtis, a Quarter-Blood Kavr, Elected from Kansas. Kansas is always doing something unexpected in political fields, and at the recent election it again did a notable act in choosing a quarter-

blood Indian to represent the Fourth District, including the capital city of the State. Charles Curtis, Congressman-elect, is the son of a quar-ter-blood Kaw Indian and Captain O. A. Curtis, of the Kansas Volunteers, Fifteenth Regi-

CHARLES CURTIS.

ment. His grandmother still lives on the reservation in the Indian Territory and is very proud of her offspring’s prominence. Hewasbornin North Topeka Jan. 25, 1860. His mother died when he was 3 years of age, and he was brought up by his father’s parents. He was literally the architect of i>is own fortunes, having been a jockey until his 16th year, commencing as soon as he could manage a horse. He rode horses summers in Texas, Arizona, Colorado, Louisiana, lowa, and Missouri and attended school winters, thus securing an education. In 1876 and 1877 he drove a night hack to support himself, going to school daytimes. In 1878 he had the rights of majority conferred by the district court of Shawnee County. In 1879 he entered a law office and In 1884 was elected County Attorney. He received the Republican nomination for Congress last June, made a house to house canvass, and was elected by a majority of 3,000 over a fusion candidate. A striking incident of his canvass was the appearancee in his audience in the south part of his district of his Indian grandmother, who wept tears of joy at the “big talk” of Charlie. When the speech was over he went down to her and kissed her, amid the applause of the crowd. He is an eloquent speaker and has a striking appearance.

Ennui of Officers.

Alluding to one or two conspicuous recent instances, the New York World says: Neither neuralgia nor drink nor insanity nor debt is necessary to make a United States army officer feel like committing suicide. Slow promotion and lack of occupation causes many an ambitious man to occasionally wonder if life is worth living. Nevertheless very few undertake to decide practically that it is not. Nothing is easier to demonstrate than that men who are worth anything at all must sometimes vary either their employment or their enjoyment. The profession of arms opens up the most glorious possibilities in times of war, especially in the service of a nation which is as well calculated to take care of itself as the United States. But it may prove exceedingly lonesome as it is certainly monotonous in times of peace in a country like this, where the arts of peace are always to the fore, except in the very heat of conflict. In. Germany, on the contrary, these hypochondriacs would be the jqlliest of fellows, having men whom they could command almost absolutely and having for their imperial master a young.fellow who may not correctly understand the first principles of campaigning, hut who loves military reviews better than he loves even the empress and his children, and almost as well as he loves his all-important self. „ In other armies in Europe also the Jaded, lonesome American officer

turnea European could reflect that millions were toiling and delving for him. Here he sees hundreds of thousands coining money and getting cartloads of enjoyment while he lives off of reveille and taps. But, save for the few thus inconvenienced, it is all right A commercial nation, easily mobilizable, does not need to imitate tottering despotism in turning its brave officers and men into mere janizaries.

A Monolith from Wisconsin for the World', Fair. A great brownstone monolith will stand in Jackson Park, Chicago, during the World’s Fair as a specimen of what is produced from the vast quarries of Wisconsin that lie along the shores of Lake Superior. The pillar, for which the* claim is made that the world never saw its

A. & C. TUPPER.

obelisks, Mr. Prentice remarked that he could * surpass the largest ■Egyptian production from among his quarries on the Bayfield short of Chequamegon Bay, or on one of the numerous Apostle islands. To Mr. Fifleld it hardly seemed feasible, but the earnestness of Mr. Prentice and his declaration that if the State of Wisconsin would accept ‘and ’erect the monument he would deliver it to the State without cost, for a State exhibit at the World’s Fair, so impressed Mr. Fifleld that he opened communication with the Board of World’s Fair Managers. This correspondence, although appearing to the commission to suggest an impossibility, led them to make a visit to Ashland, and, in company with Mr. Prentice, to view the quarries. After looking over the ground, they practically accepted Mr. Prentice’s generous tender, and agreed to take the stone as soon as it was broken from its bed, and move and erect the same on the grounds to be designated by the Fair officials at Chicago. Accordingly work was commenced at once with five steam channelers and about forty men, and the work has been pushed until the large pillar was worked out. The monolith is of Lake Superior brown stone Mr. Prentice’s {..first proposition to furnish the monolith was for a stone just a trifle larger than the Egyptian obelisk, which is ]OS feet 7 inches, exclusive of the foundation, and 9 feet square at the base. He first intended the monolith to be 106 feet in length and 9 feet 2 inches at the base, but upon a later consideration decided to have it 115 feet long, 10 feet at the base, and 4 feet square at the top. The apex will be about 5 feet long, and will be tapered to about a 6-inch tip. The entire monolith will rest upon a foundation of granite 10 £eet high and 12 feet square.

In “charging” the little wax cylinders used upon the Edison phonograph for recording and reproducing speech or song, the singers or instruments whose notes are to be recorded, are placed as closely to the large speaking horn of the phonograph as possible in a room from which all other sound is carefully excluded. If there is more than one singer or instrument they are grouped in a semicircle. Four or five, sometimes as many as seven phonographs, are arranged also in a semi-circle. The sounds are recorded on all simultaneously, but not with equal perfection, some of the cylinders being better than others. By this process, if a large number of cylinders are needed to supply all the phonographs controlled by the company, the music is simply repeated as many times as is neeessary. After testing the cylinders are then ready to be placed upon the phonographs at the railway stations, seaside resorts and other public places, where the curious audience of one drops a nickel in the slot and then smiles to himself and wonders why every one else doesn't smile in enjoyment of the feast of song. A much more rapid process is used by Mr. Edison in his works. What is called a “master record” is made upon a single cylinder, which is used similarly to the matrix in t the stereotyping process for reproducing or multiplying the cylinders as many times as may be desired.

Hear the town of White Oaks, N. M., lives one of the most remarkable women even of this most remarkable age. The house in which she lives, a low, white-walled adobe building covered with green vines and fitted out with rich carpets, artistic hangings, books and pictures, exquisite china and silver, and all the dainty belongings with which a refined woman loves to surround herself, was built with her own hands. The huge ranch on which it is located, with 8,000 cattle, is managed entirely by Per. It is she who buys or takes up the land, selects and controls the men, buys, sells, and transfers the cattle. She is also a skillful and intelligent prospector, and found the valuable silver mine on her 'territory, in which she now owns a half interest. She sings charmingly, accompanying herself on the piano or guitar, and handles a cambric needle or water-color brush as dexteriously as she uses an adze or a jackplane. She entertains delightfully at her home whist parties, little dances, and even an occasional german. Her name is Mrs. Barber, and she has been twice a widow. A woman who can run a ranch, build a house, manage a mine, and engineer a successful german deserves a prominent place in the ranks of women of genius.

THE BIGGEST OF ITS KIND.

THE MONOLITH.

Photographic Black.

She’s a Genius.

A BEAUTIFUL CATHEDRAL.

TwUl Be the Handaomeet Building: In America. The Cathedral of St. John the Divine, the corner stone of which has been laid in Hew York, is to be one of the most beautiful buildings in the new world, and perhaps as exquisite as any that have been erected anywhere in modern ages. It has often been asked 4rhat the cathedral and the grounds will cost when completed, but ttiat is something that no man can tell. Whqn pressed for an answer it is said that the total cost will not be less than $7,000,000 and may be more than $10,000,000. It is very doubtful whether the cathedral completed will be ready for dedication under fifteen years. Some idea of its size may be gained from a description of its dimensions. Its total length will be 520 feet, its front width 192 feet, the height of the towers 248 feet, the height of the central lantern, which will be at the topmost point of the structure, 445 feet, and the height of the interior dome 253 feet. A building of this size will contain easily not far from 10,000 persons. The first part of the structure to be built is to be the choir and ambulatory, and this is so large that it will contain easily 1,500; its height is 154 feet, and height of its tower iOO feet. It is larger than most es the churches in New York City. It is so large that a dozen ordinary dwelling houses in New York could easily be contained within its limits, and yet, in comparison with the cathedral, of which it is ultimately to be the choir, it bears the same proportions that an ordinary exten-

equal in size, can trace its con ception to a jocular remark made by Frederick Pren t i c e, owner of the large quar r ies near Ashland, toexGov. Sam S. Fifleld. While converging on matters relative to ’monster pillars o f stone in the shape of

sion or single story does to a dwelling house. It will cost nearly $1,000,000, and, if no other part of the cathedral were ever to be built, the choir of itself would be esteemed an exquisite architectural structure, perhaps the finest in New York, and the subject of as much profesional interests is the much discussed and admired Trinity Church of Bqston.

THE COLUMBIAN COIN.

World’s Fair Half-dollar Which Sells for a Dollar. The Columbian half-dollar which the illustration below illustrates has an origin and a probable destiny that Harper’s Young People thinks will be unique. Several months ago the directors of the Columbian World’s Fair applied to Congress for the appropriation of ten millions of dollars toward the expenses of the gigantic enterprise that they had undertaken. After a long debate an adtwas passed that gave the World’s Fair five millions of dollars, and the directors

of the fair agreed to take the amount in silver half-dollars, which coin would be the price of admission to the fair. So great, however, is the interest in the event the minting of this coin commemorates, that it is probable that none of these coins will be in circulation for a long time to come, and that a great many of them will never be in circulation, as they will be held by collectors and others, who will prize them as souvenirs. The World’s Fair people are selling half-dollars at one dollar apiece; and as there are, perhaps, some millions of people who will be glad to keep the coin as a souvenir, the fair is likely to make a very considerable profit on the nation’s contribution.

Linguists tell us that the pronunciation is slowly but steadily changing. Sdmetimes it is going further and further away from the orthography; for example, either and neither are getting to have in their first syllable the long i sound intead of the long e sound which they had once. Sometimes it is being modified to agree with the orthograpny; for example, the older pronunciation of again to rhyme with men, and of been to rhyme with pin, in which I was carefully trained as a boy, seemed to me to. be giving way before a pronunciation in exact accord with the spelling, again to rhyme with pain, and been to rhyme with seen. These two illustrations are from the necessarily circumscribed experience of a single observer, and the observation of others may not bear me out in my opinion; but though the illustrations fall to the ground, the main assertion, that pronunciation is changing, is indisputable.

The Sabbath day's journey of the Jews was 2,000 yards, the traditional distance from the end of the Ark of the Covenant to the farther side' of the Israelites’ camp, where tiiey had made a stop in the wilderness, the point where the Sabbatical law was given.

Nearly every State in this country was represented in the 100 old army nurses that were present at the late Grand Army Encampment at Washington.

COLUMBIAN HALF-DOLLAR.

Pronunciation.

Biblical Item.

Noble They Were.

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERB AND THERE. Jokei u 4 Jokelet* that Arc Supposed to Bare Beea Recently Born—Saying* and Doing* that Are Odd, Curious and Laughable. • Tea-Table Talk. Paper bustles belong in the waist basket. —New Orleans Picayune. An obtuse angle—fishing for compliments.—Union County Standard. A comet crushed to earth will not rise again.—New Orleans Picayune. An ear of corn is supposed to be attentive to the corn’s-talk. —Boston Courier. The crockery trust is broken. It ran up against the servant girls’ trust.—Texas Siftings. “Mamma,” said Johnny, “if I swallowed a thermometer would I die by degrees?”—Boston Post Talk about your transformations! We have seen a square man turn' round.—Yonkers Gazette.

Many a man who will fight If you kick his dog, lets his wife carry, in all the wood. —Ram’s Horn. Recipe for a d3meStic broil: First catch the hair on your husband’s coat-collar.—Boston Gazette. You never could persualde a horsecar driver that women know enough to vote. —Somerville Journal. The race question at present pertains not so much to immigration as to the America cup.—Philadelphia Record. As there are no railroads in the other world, Mr. Gould has probably seized the toboggan slide.—St. Louis Post-Dispatch. The winter girl who is described as dressed to kill would doubtless be classified as a fom of slay-belle.— Washington Star. No charge to florists for this advice: If you would have your plants start early put them in spring beds. —Lowell Courier.

It is now thdught Jjhat what was regarded a few days “ago as Biela’s comet was only the price of coal.— Binghamton Leader. Roosters are a good deal like men. A rooster never gives notice of finding a worm until after he has swallowed it.—Atchison Globe. If cats could only hold their backfence carnivals in the daytime they wouldn’t mew-till-late nights so.— Rochester Democrat. <• ' A man is satisfied to; make a reputation for himsdlf, but woman, bless her, wants to make one for everybody in the neighborhood.—Elmira Gazette. Officer Erautmeier — I guess Detter as you go to yail. Befuddled Stranger—Not mush I’ll go to Yale. I’m a Harvard man.—lndianapolis Journal.

Adorer —“ When we are married, darling, we shall be one.” Miss Ibsen—“Pm aware of that, Edward; but the question is, which one?” — Funny Folks. “You said you would die for me, but you get discouraged the first time papa kickß you down stairs.” “I never agreed to die for him.”—Detroit Tribune. -V : “I wish you would not take advantage of the relationship seemingly implied in your name to be so familiar,” said the hen to the hatchet. —Washington Star. Teacher James, what is the shortest day of the year? James (from experience) —* The day your father promises to give you a lickin' afore you go tobed.—Puck. Ethel (excitedly)—“He has known me only two days arjd put his arm around, me.” Eva—“ You mean, I suppose, that he knew you two days and only put his arm around you.”— Life.

‘ Tax Assessor —“Do you swear that you own nothing but the clothes you are wearing?” Charlie Lackland—“Well, I also own* a porous plaster, but I am wearing that, too.”—Seattle Soundings. Creditor —“I called to see if you could pay that little bill to-day.” Debtor—“ Come, now, this is a little too much. You press me about that little bill just as though I were a poor man.” —Boston Transcript. Sturgis —We indulge in domestic drama every night at our house. Parkes—lndeed! Who takes part? Sturgis—My 3-months-old daughter is leading lady, and I do a walking gentleman part.—New York Herald. Little Dick — “I- wish I had a pair of skates. ” Father —“Why don’t ,you pray for them?” Little Dick—- ' “Well, skates wouldn’t be any good without ice. I’ll tell you how we’ll fix it. You get the skates and I’ll pcay for the ice.”—Good News. “What a beautiful woman Miss ißarclay is. By Jove, she is a Venus,” said Hicks. “Bosh!” returned Mawson. “Look at her arms; they’re so thin you can’t see ’em. “That’s all right; she’s a Venus of Milo,” explained Hicks. —Harper’s Bazar. Jack— “ Did you lose anything on the game, Maud?” Maud—“No; you see, Jack Holworthy promised me ten pounds of candy if they won, and George Ely promised me the same if they were victorious. It was rather risky, I know, but I won.”—Lampoon.

Stub Ends of Thought.

Contentment makes pudding of cold potatoes. Idle men arc as great gossips as idle women. If a man's ability were as great as his discontent, everybody would be a .Napoleon. History’s heroes were selfish men. Bachelors are the unbuttered bread of the world. ' Sentiment is glorified prejudice. Writers are the only cooks who love to eat their Own victuals. Every man defends himself uncon sciousiy. There is one day in the week to go to church, and seven to lore thy neighbor'as thyself.

Did You Know This?

The Printer*’. Journal says the art of paper-making has reasfii£d the point where tt is possibre v to cut down a growing tree and convert it into paper suitable for printing purposes within the short space of twenty*four hours.