Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 January 1893 — Page 6

HgjOrmotraticSenlinel RENSSELAER. INDIANA. J. W. McEWEN, - • - Publisher.

PANAMA CANAL WRECK

ENGULFS MANY GREAT MEN CF FRANCE. Brazen Thefts Amounting: to Over Sixty Millions—Machinery Valued i*JU*®o,ooo,000 Rotting:—Vegetation Covering the Intended Route—Thousands Starving. The Crisis in France. The exposure of the corruption, mismanagement and stealing in Panama canal affairs has aroused the in-

dignation of Frenchmen to a pitch that threatened to overthrow the government and replace republicanism with monarchy. The Dministry was hurled »from power unceremoniously, and those displaced deem them-

president cAßNOTgeives fortunate in escaping with this chastisement. The scheme to build the isthmus canal called for so much capital that Frenchmen of all classes were appealed to for subscriptions. The

small farmers and shopkeepers were enlisfed and the response became national in character. The assurance from government officials that the enterprise would pay and that De Lesseps, who built the Suez canal, would repeat on a larger scale his success in uniting the waters of the Atlantic and Pacific in the center of this continent, was * a bait that took exceedingly well. As a consequence francs by the hundred millions poured into the canal treasury until $2G0,000,000, as Americans reckon money, was in-

DE LESSEPS' RESIDENCE AT COLON.

vested. To insure this result the . Parisian and provincial press were s paid $4,000,000 to advocate the proposition. To make sure of the passage of the hill through the Chamber of Deputies $10,000,000 was given to the •membera who influenced legislation.to that end. In addition some $19,000,- , 000 was used in advertising the scheme. In various ways some S6O, - i 000,000 was squandered after this ■ fashion. The balance, $200,000,000, i was spent on the construction of the . canal, at least half being wasted by mismanagement. The abandonment of the project was decided only when

there was no more money to expend, and this stoppage compelled De Lesseps and those associated with him to acknowledge the canal a failure, with of realizing a farthing for the tens of thousands who had invested, the savings of a lifetime in the project The report shocked France, while 1 4bdazed the multitude who had been “Iceptr i Q rignorance of the progress of tiji’eiftfelprise, precipitated a panic { f( oq.t|j.e Bourse and all Paris went wild oypr the confession. In the Cham- ' her of Deputies the Government was scored unmercifully and the Ministry dismissed from power. Baron de Reioach, the leading banker after Rothschild in Paris, who lent his name to the scheme, was so overcome with remorse that he committed suicide. He was worth $60,000,000, but this did not exempt him from the torture that drove him to self-de-struction. So desperate had popular feeling become that it would have required but little to convert the republic into a monarchy. Hie only argument that counted against it was that Frenchmen were swindled under the empire about as much as they had been under the republic, and that the meditated change would not have secured the desired end. Consequently the most aggravated part of the crisis has been passed without recourse to such a doubtful measure. Yet Parisians admit that were there a Napoleon to appeal to the empire would be re-established. De Lesseps, who was once the idol of his nation, i» now held in loathing, with none so poor as to do him reverence. The colossal failure of the canal is laid at his door and he is the most despised man to France to-day. Tbe great engineer has been transformed into the greatest of swindlers * ■ **•* ‘

and the most heartless of foes to the thousands who trusted him only to he ruined thereby. Irretrievable Rain. Now that the Panama Canal scheme has been proved to have been a gigantic swindle, the parallel of which may not be found in history, an inventory, as it were, of the work done on the canal has been made, and the result is alike astounding, scandalous and profoundly sad. Apart from the financial loss, which is enor-

mous, and the corruption, alike shameful and monumental, there has been frightful loss of life, and even now thousands of misguided laborers are living *on the isthmus, a prey to fever and sometimes starvation, hoping that the work will be resumed and that they may earn enough money for support or to take them back to their homes. France expended 1,300,000,000

A PANAMA RAILROAD.

francs on the Panama Canal, and almost nothing remains to show for this vast expenditure. In the first flush of the canal scheme Panama was to become a new El Dorado, a place where money could be made as it was during the gold excitement in California and Australia. The tonnage of the world would pass through the canal. New towns with the French names and French inhabitants would grow along its route. Colon would blossom into vigorous life, and the ancient city of Panama would throw off its lethargy and become one of the foremost seaports of the world. Those were flush times on the isthmus, and the officials of the canal found leisure to lay out parks and gardens and plan great estates for themselves. Even the sleepy natives awoke. They began to dream of wealth and bustled around as if they did not live in the land of to-morrow. The merchants did a great business. The money-changers were never idle, and cash flowed from the canal treasury into a thousand channels. Everybody, if he only talked canal and believed canal, could get rich. But now the inevitable crash has come. The new towns have faded away. The parks and the gardens are abandoned and there is nothing but desolation. The property of the canal company is rusting and rotting in neglect. The machinery, dredges, cranes and other appliances are strewn in confusion from Colon to Panama. Many pieces have sunk deep in the swamps, and others lie where they were tossed from the boats or the tram-cars years ago, never having seen a minute's use. Several of .these dredging machines cost more than SIOO,OOO apiece. An expert who recently visited Panama says-that machinery, the cost of which was $90.-

NEAR THE CITY DE LESSEPS.

000,000, lies rotting on the isthmus. It will never he moved. A large portion is already irretrievably damaged. It has suffered so severely from exposure that much of it could not he used even* if work were resumed on the Panama Canal, which is no longer classed among the proDabilities. Difficulties of Construction. What is left of the canal? The answer to this question can be altered every year, for the condition of the work is deteriorating very rapidly. The cut was to have been from Colon, on the Atlantic coast, to Panama on

the Pacific coast, a distance of fiftyfour miles. Suez is eighty miles long, but the obstacles presented at Panama were immeasurably greater. In the Culebra cut and the hills of Mindi the elevation of the isthmus is 300 feet above the level of the sea, and the excavation ifi those places had to be made through the solid rock, too. And then came the obstacle of the Chagres River, which was practically . insurmountable. The canal crosses and recrosses it.

THE QUTAY AT COLON.

FERDINAND DE LESSEPS.

Were it an ordinary, well-behaved river it might be easily managed. But it is a wild, wayward, untamed river, like the people of the country through which it flows. A heavy tropical rain comes, and it rises forty feet in twelve hours. What to do with so much water, for it flows into the canal as well, then becomes a problem that has vexed the best engineers in the world. The difficulty has been obviated partly by an intricate system of dams and locks, but no one can say whether it would have lasted or would have subdued the Chagres in its wildest moments. The canal, as originally intended, would have been 30 feet deep, from 200 to 250 feet broad at the top, and about 100 feet broad at the bottom. On the Atlantic side are 18 or 20 miles of canal, dredged to a depth of 16 feet by the American Construction and Dredging Company, and there are partial excavations and lines traced by the French all the way to Panama. At Colon, lying in the water, is a huge pile of grandolithic blocks, 70,000 in number. They were brought from the West Indies at a total cost of about 8 cents a block. They were intended for banking up the canal, but were dumped off the ships into the water years ago, and have been lying there ever since, a monument to the recklessness and corruption of the Panama scheme. The eighteen or twenty miles of partially cempleted canal will soon become nothing but a muddy ditch. The banks are caving in, and every time it rains huge masses of earth are washed into the canal. In a few years the canal, except where cut through the solid rock, will be filled up entirely by these heavy washings, and the vegetation will begin to grow again where the dredging machines tore it away.

Beyond Resurrection. Remaining on the Isthmus are many Europeans who still believe that the work will be resumed. But this is extremely improbable. Many calculations have been made as to the amount of money it would require to complete it. None fall under $200,000,000. Some run as high as $750,000,000, and a few go so far as to say that the canal cannot be built at all so that it will return a fair interest on the investment. But there is another difficulty. The concession from Colombia, under which the canal was to be built, expires next February, and, even if the concession should bo renewed, whence will come the capital needed for the prosecution of the work? The French people will give no more, and the capitalists of other countries are rather shy of Panama. Thus far only the financial loss has been considered. But there is another question that appeals to humanity. Negro laborers are now on the isthmus a prey to disease. At one time there were 60,000 negroes at Colon. They led a careless, merry life, and saved not one cent from their earnings When work ceased they were unable to return to their homes, and they are still on the isthmus, less the thousands who have perished. Some have become outlaws, and infest the localities on either side of the canal route.. In a short time the route of the canal will be covered with tropical vegetation, in which- wild animals will make their lairs.

Ortolans.

Perhaps the greatest refinement in fattening is exhibited in the manner of feeding ortolans. The ortolan is a small bird, esteemed a great delicacy by Italians. It is the fat of this bird which is so delicious; but it has a peculiar habit of feeding, which is opposed to its rapid fattening—that is, that it feeds only at the rising of the sun. Yet this peculiarity has not proved an insurmountable obstacle to the Italiafl gourmands. The ortolans are placed in a warm chamber, perfectly dark, with only one aperture in the wall. Their food is scattered over the floor of the chamber. . At a certain hour in the morning the keeper of the birds places a lantern in the orifice of the wall; the dim light thrown by the lantern on the floor of the apartment induces the ortolans to believe that the sun is about to rise, and they greedily consume the food upon the floof. More food is now scattered over it, and the lantern is withdrawn. The ortolans, rather surprised at the shortness of the day, think it their duty to fall asleep, as night has spread his sable mantle round .them. During sleep, little of the food being expended in the production of force, most of it goes to the formation of muscle and fat. After they have been allowed to repose for one or two hours, in order to complete the digestion of the food taken, their keeper again exhibits the lantern through the aperture. The rising sun a second time illuminates the apartment; and the birds, awaking from their slumber, apply themselves voraciously to the food on the floor; after having discussed which, they are again enveloped in darkness. Thus the sun is made to shed its rising rays into the chamber four or five times every day, and as many nights follow its transitory beams. The ortolans, thus treated, become little balls of fat in a few days.

Dangerous Jumping.

It is one thing to jump from a great height into opea space such as that of the sea, and it is another thing to jump down one hundred and twenty feet into a well. The feat may be seen performed any day at Delhi in India. So proficient are the men and boys who leap down the distance, both into a tank from the top of a mosque and into a narrow well, that while descending they purposely spiawl about in the air and display queer antics; but the moment they near the water they suddenly straighten out their bodies, and plunge down, arrow-like, with scarcely a splash. A dozen men and boys can be got at any hour to perform this feat for the modest fee of about three pence a leap.

This Is Probably a Fable,

Of /Esop, the “fabulist,” it is written that he was a person of extremely luxurious tastes, and that he once had served at a banquet a dish of singing birds at an expense of $4,000.

Insane Horse.

Burlington, N. J., has a horse that has been declared insane.

STARCH AND STARCHING.

The Flemish Woman by Whom They Were Introduced Into KnglUh. Troy, the greatest laundry town in the world, will be especially interested, says the Times of that city, in an article on starch written by William Elliot Griffis and published in the current number of Harper’s Bazar. Mr. Griffis informs us that it was Queen Elizabeth of England who introduced fashions that established the laundry on a permanent basis and created starch factories. She not only enlarged the ruff, multiplied undergarments, increased the lady’s inventory and the bride’s trousseau, but it was she who began the fashion of the farthingale or crinoline. This wheel-shaped arrangement puffed out the dress like a balloon; and right royal was the rustle of the stiffened skirts as the Queen and her ladies moved about. So great was the demand for starch to stiffen properly the ruffs, collars, cuffs, and crinoline that it seriously atfccted the price of wheat. CompLaints were loud and long that bread was being taken out of the mouths of the people. The potato was then unknown or too much of a novelty. Its virtues and potencies of supply to the laundress and the alleged sugarmaker were then unsuspected. To whom were the English and their doughty Queen indebted for this wonderful addition to the resources of civilization and of personal neatness? It is not thak own invention, but the gift of fflk Low Countries. It came in with casT riages, which also were impoited, to the amazement of the common folk. Elizabeth was unable to monopolize starched ruffs, for presently the gentlewomen of England began to send their daughters and nearest kinswomen to Mrs. Dinghen to learn how to starch. Would the reader know who Mrs. Dinghen was—she who first made English ladies so fine and British housemaids so neat? We bless the memory of Mrs. Dinghen every time we are daintily served in an English home. The daughter of a , knight of Flanders, and driven out by Spanish oppression, she with her husband found refuge in London. Being probably penniless, she so turned her hand that the pounds soon flowed in. While Mrs. Boonen starched for the Queen, Mrs. Dinghen van den Plasse, as her full name was, taught starching to the ladies. Her price was £5 for teaching how to starch, but £2O for showing “how to seeth starch.” In a little tim& she got an estate, being greatly encouraged by gentlewomen and ladies. She was “the flr.-t to teach starching in those days of impurity,” adds the historian, with pathos and appreciation of the previous facts. “Blessings on Mrs. Dinghen van den Plasse!” says Mr. Griffis. And every Troy laundress responds “Amen!”

HERE’S WISDOM.

Bouic Startling: Discoveries Made by Girls in Domestic Economy. The following notes on domestic economy are selected from the answers given at a recent examination of girls between twelve and sixteen years of age: “Cheese is as wholesome as 8J pounds of beef. Beef is a useful article of food, obtained from different animals, such as the cow, sheep, pig, etc.—the lean of beef belongs to the animal kingdom, and the fat to the vegetable kingdom. Butter is good for the brain. Milk is called a model food because it., models the form of the child. Without eating potatoes we would-become very delicate, because potatoes are very necessary to sustain human life. Stewing is very different from boiling; when we want a nice dinner we stew a roast of beef. Pot-au-feu is mashedup meat. Cretins are generally served with green-pea soup. If a man lives without food for a considerable time, say sixty days, he will die at the end of a month; or, if the constitution is delicate, he may only live for a week, or less. The body wastes away by the continual working of the bones together, and as this process goes on every day, the bones get thinner and smaller. Carbonaceous foods give the bones the elasticity of which they consist. “Lawn is a soft stuff made from the wool of the lawn, an animal in South America. It is also part of the flesh of the cow or sheep, the rib part. Shoddy is a drink made from a mixture of ale and sugar. It is the leather before it goes through the process of making into boots and shoes, and for this reason is called shoddy. It is the flesh near the foot of any animal. It is a kind of whisky. Wincey is the wool off an animal which lives in America; the lamen is its name. Calico is a good heat conductor, because it catches Are very easily. If a print dress is dried outside, it must be careful not to be left in the sun. Calendered means turned from one kind of species into another. It is things which are the shape of a calendar, like our bodies. It means preserved with sugar. It means taking the dirt out of water. It means increased or getting heavier. It is a medicine or drug. It is boiling anything by means of steam. It means chewing the food well to make it fit to enter the body.

How the Blacksnake Fights.

“You wouldn’t believe me,” said old Jacob Bloom, of Laurel Kun, to a gang of woodsmen the other day, “you wouldn’t believe me if I’d tell you the blacksnake is boss among snakes in this country, but it’s a fact. \ blacksnake will whip any other kind of a snake you can trot out and not half try.” Some of the boys laughed and said they didn’t think a blacksnake would be in it with a rattlesnake at all. There was a large rattlesnake in the camp which the woodsmen kept in a box with a glass cover on to amuse themselves with after working hours. Jim Brewer, of this place, who nappened to he there at the time and heard Mr. Bloom’s observations, chipped in and said: “I’ll bet a blacksnake would not last long if you’d put him in the box with that rattler.” “Wouldn’t!” exclaimed Bloom. “Why, he'd chokp the rattler to death before he khowed what happened to him, an’ in order to convince you of the fac’ I’ll go out au’ capture a blacksnake and show you.” The subject was then dropped and the boys forgot it, but about 4 o’clock

in the afternoon the old man came in with a blacksnake a little over three ,feet long. The rattler was nearly two feet longer. “Now,” he says, “I’ll show you how it’s done. ” And he put the blacksnake into the box with the rattler. Both snakes seemed to be considerably agitated. The rattler shook his tail with an angry whizz, and stuck out his tongue in a menacing way, and the blacksnake squirmed around and made several feints with his tail. The rattler was angry and coiled himself to strike, but before he was quite ready the blacksnake had tajren a hitch around the rattler’s neck with his tail and began to haul taut. The rattler writhed and squirmed and thumped himself around, but all to no purpose. The blacksnake kept his hold and drew tighter. Finally the contortions of the rattler ceased. He was dead. The blacksnake held on five minutes longer, then calmly unfolded his tail and curled himself up in a corner of the box. “There!” said the old man, triumphantly. “Hereafter when I tell you anything about snakes you can put it down as fact.”—Punxsutawney Spirit.

The Size of Alligators.

I have seen numerous specimens of our saurian no longer than an ordinary lead pencil, says a writer in the Century; this was in the season of their hatching. I have also seen a few living specimens about sixteen feet in length. In the summer of 1875 I obtained from the late Effingham Lawrence, member of Congress and Commissioner from Louisiana to the Centennial Exhibition, the dried skin of an alligator which,, after at least fifteen inches had been cut from the end of the tail, still measured seventeen feet ten inches in length. Allowing more than six inches by shrinkage in drying, this monster of his kind, alive, must have measured more than twenty feet. He was killed in the lower part of Bayou Lafourche. Probably the largest alligator ever seen in Louisiana was killed in a small lake on the plantation of H. J. Feltus, in Concordia Parish. According to.the statement of Mr. Feltus, now of Baton Rouge, this specimen measured twenty-two feet in length. The great reptile had long been famous for miles around, having destroyed numbers of hogs and hounds owned in the neighborhood oi his retreat. He had become so wary, from the number of ineffectual shots fired at him, as to be almost unapproachable. Finally he fell a victim to a long shot fired from a Mississippi rifle in the hands of Mr. Feltus, who had persevered in hunting him, having been the greatest loser by his depredations. The huge carcass of this reptile was towed to the bank by a boat. It required the strength of a pair of mules and a stout rope to haul it ashore, where the measurement was made with the result noted above.

The Sultan of Johore.

A little party of Americans have paid a visit to the'Sultan of Johore. and one of their number has given an account of their expedition from Singapore, which presents some picturesque details. The hospitable Sultan sent out his state barge, manned with Malays in canary-col-ored suits' to meet them, and at the landing pier they were received by “the Illustrious Secretary of the Sultan,” whose title and name are “Date (Lord) Abdull Rahman.’,’ He is a Commander of the English Order of St. George and St. Michael, and is stated to speak Malay, Chinese, English, French and German with equal fluency. The Sultan, who is said to have inherited the other day from the late Sultana “a million and a hall of this world’s goods,” appears from this narrative to be a prosperous person. The hall, approached by a marble reception-room, in which the company were entertained at a banquet, is described as 150 feet in length. Every article of the service for seventy persons and sixteen courses was of gold, and one course wa> served on “the celebrated Ellenborough plate.” At the table the Sultan remarked: “We are all temperance folk in this Mohammedan country. See, all I drink is pineapple juice.” His guests gazed about the table and found that the foreigners were the only persons who were drinking wines provided for them. It is a noteworthy fact that the subjects of this Malay Sultan, of the Sultan State, are principally Chinese. They are, it is stated, allowed to come to Johore and settle on the best pieces of land they can find unoccupied.

Had a Joke on the Lawyer.

When Cardinal Gibbon was bishop of Richmond, Va., he happened to be the defendant in relation to some church property. When called to the witness stand the plaintiffs lawyer, a distinguished legal luminary, after vain endeavors to involve the witness in contradictions, struck upon a plan which he thought would anno} the bishop, tie thereupon questioned the right of Dr. Gibbons to the title of Bishop of Richmond, and called on him to prove his claim to the office. The defendant’s counsel,, of course, objected to this as irrelevant; but the bishop, with a quiet smile, said he would comply with the request if allowed half an hour to produce the necessary papers. This being allowed, the bishop left the court-room and returned in twenty minutes with a document which he proceeded to read with great solemnity, all the more solemn as the paper was in Latin. The plaintiff’s lawyer pretended to take notes, industriously bowing his head once in awhile as if in acquiescence, and seeming perfectly convinced at the end. When the reading was finished he announced that the papal’ bulls just read were perfectly satisfactory, at the same time apologizing for his expressed doubts. The next day, says the Halifax (N. S.) Mail, it leaked out that the bishop, unable to find the papal bull at his residence, had brought to the court and read a Latin essay on “Pope Leo the Great,” written by an ecclesiastical student and forwarded by the President of tho college as a specimen of the young man’s skill in Latin composition. The smart lawyer never heard the last of it.

A PERPETUAL CALENDAR.

t Can Be Easily Made and Makes a Prettj Glfklor a Friend. A calendar of this kind will make i pretty gift for a friend, and to one whose fingers can readily handle the brush and paint indelicate colors the task of making it will be both simple »nd pleasant. Upon an oblong sec-

tion of white celluloid are painted a spray of yellow chrysanthemums and a butterfly, and to the sections are attached three strips of wide, yellow satin ribbon of equal lengths, the ends being pointed and tipped with yellow tassels. Upon the shortest strip are painted in white the days of the week, abbreviated. The midstrip, which is the longest, shows the dates; and upon the third strip are painted the names of the month, also in white and abbreviated. A pansy made of silk, selected in tints to correspond with those of the flowers and stiffened with crinoline, is adjusted over each strip, so that it may be slipped up or down to mark the day, date or month, thus making the calendar a perpetual one.

CHINESE DRUMMERS IN WIGS.

Almond-Eyed California Merchants Doing Without High-Priced White Labor. The Chinese have discovered another way of competing with white men. For years the merchants in Chinatown, particularly those manufacturing cigars and clothing, have employed white men at large salaries to drum up interior trade. The merchant, realizing the strong feeling against his countrymen, knew that it would be hard for him to do business personally with white merchants. Many of the interior merchants, while they were ready to patronize the Chinese firms, did not like the fact known, and when a Chinaman dressed in his national costume called upon him he was inclined to avoid being seen with him. With the white drummer, however, the San Francisco Call says, it was different. The latter could register at any of the hotels, and, after selling a man a bill of goods, could invite the customer to drink or take dinner with him, an invitation none would accept from a Chinaman. A few months ago, however, the Chinese began to discharge their high-salaried white drummers and travel on the road themselves, or filled the vacancies with their own countrymen. Little Pete, of juryoribery fame, who is a heavy producer in Chinatown, was one of. the first to inaugurate the new custom. He fitted a Chinese employe out in American clothes, furnished him with a well-fitted wig and sent him out on the road. The venture was a success, and Little Pete soon found nis business progressing as well as when he employed the white drummer. In his American dress the general appearance of the Chinaman, which is so objectionable to the whites, was almost hidden. In this attire, and with no queue visible, the interior hotel-keeper made no objection to him, and he was therefore allowed to extend the same business courtesies to the white customers as the white drummers. Other Chinese firms soon adopted the new custom and now there are nearly fifty disguised Chinamen traveling up and down this State as drummers. The presence of numerals Chinamen wearing wigs and American clothes has been noticed Lately in this city, but few could explain a reason for it.

Miles.

The measurement, in English yards, of the different lengths of a mile in several countries is as follows: Arabian mile, 2,148; Austrian mile, 8,296; Bohemian mile, 10,137: Brabant mile, 6,082; Burgundian mile, 6,183; Danish mile, 8,244; Dutchmile, ri,395; English mile, 1,760; English mile, geographical, 2,025; English mile, nautical, 6,080; Flemish mile, 6,869; German mile, long, 10,126;' German mile, short, 6,859; German mile, geographical, 8,100; Hamburg, mile, 8,244; Hanoverian mile, 11,559;: Hessian mile, 19,547; Hungarian mile, 9,113; Irish mile, ancient, 2,240; : Italian mile, 2,025; Lithuanian mile, 9,780; Oldenburgh mile. 10,820; Persian mile, 6,086; Polish mile, long, 8,100; Polish mile, short, 6,071; Prusf sian mile, 8,237; Roman mile, i,628j Russian, verst, 1,165; Saxon rnilej 9,904; Scotch mile, ancient, 1,984; Spanish mile, 4,635; Swedish mile t 11,700; Swiss mile, 9,153; Tuscan mile, 1,808; United States mile, 1,760:

Sleep Daytimes, Probably.

The buffaloes in Sumatra, according to an English traveler, in fear of their enemy, the tiger, take refuge at night in the rivers, where thejr rest in peace and comfort with only their horns and noses sticking abov i the water.

Safer to Travel than Not.

According to the statistics of thp Interstate Commerce Commission b railway passenger stands one chancb in 10,823,153 to be kill!' while travelinst

HUMOR OF THE WEEK.

STORIES TOLD BY PUNNY MBN OP THE PRESS. Msay 044, CarlNi, tad bnckrillt FhuM of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Word Artiata oi Our Own Day. ScUsored Smile*. A fitting tribute—the check for the tailor.—Washington Star. A balky horse is not worth its wait in anything.—Troy Press. Jig-dancing music is the kind that reaches the sole.—Yonkers Statesman. A girl gives her lover a nrttten, we suppose, because a pairis dut of the question.—Binghamton Leader. The best idea of a Sabbath day’s journey is obtained when one tries to run through a Sunday newspaper.— Lowell Courier. “Well,” said the impatient streetcar conductor to the corpulent party trying to catch the car, “come ahead or else go afoot.—Lampoon. She —And so you broke every one of the good resolutions you made a year ago? He—Yes, but I can make more just as good next month. Little Dot —Sister gave me her brass ring. Little Dick—How do you know it’s brass? Little Dot—’Cause she gave it to me.—Good News. Mrs. McCanty— An’ ye’ve raised quolte a big family, Mrs. Murphy? Mrs. Murphy (with pride)—Seven polacemin, Mrs. McCanty.—Tid-Bits. “I proposed to Miss Dingbatts last evening.” “Ah! and how did she take it?” “She didn’t take it at all; she refused it.”—Philadelphia Record.

The claim that the telephone business is conducted on sound principles seems possible; but, really, it is supported merely by hearsay evidence.— Texas Siftings. “John, what’s the Salic law we read about in history?” asked Mrs. John. “It was a law that prevented women becoming kings,” replied John, learnedly.—Life. She —“Oh, James, how grand the sea is! How wonderful! I do like to hear the roar of the ocean.” He —“So do I, Elizabeth; please keep quiet. ” —Modern Society. Will you have another cup of coffee?” the landlady asked the boarder. He shook his head. “The spirit is willing,” he said, “but the coffee is weak.”—New York Press.

Cotton Mills— “ls Coaten Vest a good salesman?” Woolen Hose—- “ The best there is. Why, that fellow could sell ready-made clothing to Ward McAllister.”—Truth. There is nothing novel in the announcement that Mrs. Chanler has abandoned literature. Amelie’s literature has always been more or less abandoned.—Texas Siftings. “I’ve changed my mind twice today, ” said Willie Wishington. “Well,” said - his brutal friend, “you don’t mean to say that you got the worst of the trade?”—Washington Star. Burglar Bill— We are perfectly safe, old man. Pilfering Pete—How do you know? Burglar Bill—The paper says they are working on an important clew.—Brooklyn Eagle. Editor— There is not sufficient action to this comic sketch of yours. Artist —Action! Why, great Scott, It has moved around to nine or ten (papers already.—Texas Siftings. “Well, Rastus, are you used to being rich yet?” “Nor, sah. Kain’t git iised to it sah. Lor’ bless yer! 'I went out into mah own hen-coop larst night an stole one o’ mah own sah.”—Harpar’s Bazar. “It is always best to be earnest,” ! said the man who loves to lecture. “If you do anything do it in italics.” “Yes,” said the youth, “I have several times seen a man fail because he !went into business with a small capital.”—Washington Star.

Mrs- Bingo —Don’t yon think,dear, it would be a good idea for you to give me an expense book, so that the coming year you will know where all the money goes? Bingo—l can tell without any expense book, darling. All I have to do is to look on your back.—New York; Herald. Brjogs —That was a nice thing that young Fiddleback fell into, wasn’t it? The father of the girl he is going to marry gives them a house and lot, and her mother furnishes all her clothes, besides giving her an income. Griggs—What does Fiddleback do? Briggs—l understand, that he is going to buy his own cigarettes.—Puck. Gapt. Sabertash, of the cavalry corps, was an inveterate drill-master. One Sunday the Colonel saw spme of the Captain’s company, and inquired why they were not at church. Corp. Tompion said they had a sermon every day in the week, and therefore thought they might be excused on Sunday. “A sermon every day in the week?” “Yes. Capt. Sabertash gives us a sermon on the mount regularly.”—Boston Transcript.

The Compass Plant.

On the Western prairie is found what is called the compass plant, which is of great value to travelers. The long leaves at the base of its stem are placed, not flat as in plants generally, but in a vertical position, and present their edges north and south. The peculiar propensity of the plant is attributed to the fact that both surfaces of its leaves display an equal receptivity for light, whereas “the upper surfaces of the leaves of most plants are more sensitive to light than the lower; the leaves thus assume a vertical position, and Jioint north and south. Travelers on dark nights are said to feel the edges of-the leaves to ascertain the point of the compass.

Marriage.

The marriage ceremony practiced by the people of Borneo is said to be very short and single. Bride and groom are brought £ut before the assembled crowd with great solemnity and seated side by side. A betel nut is then cut in .two by the medicine woman of the tribe, and one-half is given to the groom. Theybegin to chew the .nut, ’ and then, the old woman, after some sort of' incantation, knocks their heads together and they are declared man and wife.