Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 48, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 December 1892 — Page 6

@l)c iicmocraticSenttnd RENSSELAER, INDIANA. J. W. McEWEN, - - - Pobijshk*

SOME NEW GOVERNORS.

iA BRIEF HISTORY OF EXECUTIVES RECENTLY ELECTED. Kloh, Altgeld and Matthew* Are Farmer*’ Bon*—Feck Wa* a Printer—Crouse, Stone and NeUon Were Lawyer*—Began Life Poor. Governor Peck. George W. Peck, who has been reelected Governor of Wisconsin, was jborn in Jefferson County, New York,

(Sept. 28, 1840, his (family moving to Wlsjconsin three vears la|ter. He attended the (Common schools until 'ls years old, when he [learned the printer’s ftrade. In 1861 he [became a newspaper [proprietor, but later, ■entered the army and ■served till the close

of the war. After a three years’ journalistic career in New York City he [returned to Wisconsin, and shortly afterward started the paper which not only brought him a comfortable [fortune but made his name a household word. He is said to fully indorse Mr. Cleveland's views upon all leading questions. John T. Rich.

Hon. John T. Rich, the Governorelect of Michigan, is a farmer. His parents, originally from Vermont, re-

JOHN T. RICH.

state Legislature, and during his six years’ service in that body served upon the most important committees. During the sessions of 1877 and 1879 he occupied the position of Speaker of the House. In 1880 he was a prominent candidate before the convention for Governor. In the same year he was elected to the State Senate, which position he resigned upon his election to Congress to succeed Mr. Conger. He served but one term in Congress, being deleated for reelection by a few votes. Returning to private life, he has been active in agricultural circles. In 1890 Mr. Rich was appointed by Secretary Foster, of the Treasury Department, as a member of the commission to revise the standard of wool samples of the Government. In 1886 Gov. Luce appointed him State Railroad Commissioner, and reappointed him to the same position two years later.

Governor-elect Alt "eld. John P. Altgeld, who is to succeed Gov. Fifcr as Chief Executive of Illinois, was burn in Germany in 1847,

but was reared on a farm in Ohio. When 16 years old he entered the Union army and carried a musket for six months in the around Richmond. Afterward he' taught school in Ohio. In 1669, when 21 years old, he started West to

seek his fortune. After working for awhile in St Louis, he went to Southern Kansas, where he taught school and studied, and in 1872 was admitted to the bar. He was elected State's Attorney of Andrew County, soon becoming recognized as one of the fbreujfcst lawyers of the State. In 1875 he went to Chicago. He soon built up a large practice, his connection with the Storey will case bringing him ibto prominence. Drifting into politics he was nominated in 1884 to Congress from the Fourth District, but was defeated. In 1886 he was nominated for a Superior Court Judgeship, indorsed by the Knights of Labor, and after a hot fight was elected by 15,000, the Knights of Labor giving him 26.000 votes. Will Govern Hooaiers. Claude Matthews, the Indiana gov-ernor-elect, was born Dec. 14, 1845, in Bath County, Kentucky, and was

graduated at Center College, Danville, Kentucky, in the class of MS67. He moved to Indiana in 1869 and settled on a .Tarm three miles west of Clinton, where he has ever since resided, engaged in farming

CLA UDE MATTHE WS

and stock raising.

He was elected a member of the legislature in 1870. In 1890 he was. elected Secretary of State. He has taken an active part in all interests relating to agriculture. He has been an promoter and member of of the Farmers’ Mutual Benefit Association.

Nebraska's Choice. Lorenzo Crounse, the successful . gubernatorial candidate in Nebraska, was born Jan. 27, 1834, in Schoharie County, New York. One of his great .grandfathers had come to this country from Wuttenberg, famous in the history of the world since the time of Luthey. Young Crounse went through that early training from which so many great Americans have graduated—a common school education,

followed by several years of work as the head' of a country school. Mr. Crounse began his career as a teacher at the age 17. ..He then read lawsat Fort Plain, in tihe same State, I and - was admitted

to jfractiice in the

year 1856. Four years later he was married to Hies Mary E. Griffiths. He served through the war, .and asTerritorial Legislature in 1865, and Is 1866 was cho.'-eu to the Supreme

GOV. PECK.

moved to Crawford County, Pa., where he was born. Coming to Michigan in 1848, when only 7 years old, he began life for himself, and has •won both position and fortune. In 1872 Mr. Rich was elected to the lower house of the

JOHN P. ALTGELD

LORENZO CROUNSE.

• •. : tit.: —~y * w WO.THE NEW AMERICAN IJ » J T ~ ©U» leLS. e«f a, #■ 'N «&. SB- 1892 Ytr.jtt Sr W. Comuxt: I* J H*U Co - lom • bi*, thon *m - l«rt .(1 > _ p- ■ —— -£-T- r~ '■ L- HaU, thou laud by God M.• lect •ed f Freedom’* gold -en hearth 1 to _ , b*l BoutK fax tiik - lon blentt-ed, 0, pi*’. Benoit -;'free> frOtn wrong! -!* j?L > 2 nd . tw* «■ ImWy row nor tnun- pet lound-mg,-Et>[.er (_ in«yU‘Ve-Jplck theA-moct.'' *HA & ‘£--2 A If thy toll and if . tty hoa-or Crown thee like * prface-ly g*,,] GoM of. peace. tNow.O, Fa-ttorl for thi* na-ttoi Grant pro - too - d(fai» ot /om off. withdatf-.-jung tWder, 61aa - .dor* til* ; and^«hame -ful y bowta., CT-TI ;-pJ I ] fcf; 1+ fj ] Ij ] [ j 1j j Eifli f wu. atoteet. er**,'' - ff J J 1 j' J - J -j-ftrl '1 * ETI r 1 1 H*h ye • poo - pis, once » . lect - ed, By the a - ther’a bnw-’ry v, fr*. _ . . , But ’tia not thy pride or trio • ry, These should fill • war-rfor’* rrav*i » ungtOT * >l l ev-'ryno r-tal ; Freedom’s song, F« C 7 hma . blot **ra thou Aad hi* “to? Jt \ .■ JWom’s ho -ly blessing,. This thy boast: Where, from oat thy gush . Ing mountains, Eiv - ers lean o’er sands of imld. * HBw Its folds »re gleemuigb How its stars are beaming I Freedom’s shrines I If M . “Tm .V P , . ’G. c Oth-sr lands confessing. This thy rich-est blessing, Land of peace. And in v ri»ht BOM f 1 hon '° r ' ki dl -* . dem: For ©or glorious nation,, Grant thy pre-ser-va-tion. Lord of And la, right-eons - tkra ghield onr hoc .or, wo im.plorel J r J J . • ’ _ etwag, Forti —l 3 ’Tf ” . J-. f Not the bn-gls osU re . sonnd-ing On. . thy coast; Can . noil’s Freedom’s spng, ye hills re - bound, Val- leys, ech - o back the sound! Hich. in er -ry cost •ly txeas - uxo, Land di - yinei But . yr«. This tby boast from, sea to se% Ev*«’iy n*-Won hero is freeb life, theA be e? -er Boar-lug; Joja in • cream? B<4 - Freedom’® abrineal the winds da • dare; Shine, on [ stars; for-ev - erf tbersl rup-tioa tear *». •'tsnn-der, Lord of Hosts 1 Drire then of peace,”sbaUshigthe Freo In the' - tar-ioa -to be. i - Irfc t— r. ®f Hosts, to Thee W* ' Thon. a - lone, our Na-.tion’s Kw (frpßjT-nI Mil J inpi,i f, , .iiti t * J '■ * I * ?p. L V-- # y 'i i- j; Hail! Thon Land by God Selected, tte National Hymn. Copyright, 1892, by W. Conradi. All rights reserved. Published by C. Carlshall, 937 N. Clark St., Chicago, 11l

Bench of the State. Congressional honors were next thrust upon him, and he served through both theFortythird and Forty-fourth Congress. In 1891 he was induced to accept the position offered him by President Harrison," Assistant Secretary of the Treasury. MisHonri'* New Executive. W. J. Stone, who has been elected Governor of Missouri, was born May 7, 1848, in Madison County, Ky. He

went to Missouri in 1863, and in--1872 was. elected Prosecuting Attorney of Nevada, Mo. In 18 8 4 Mr. Stone was nominated and elected to; the Forty-ninth! Congress from the; Twelfth District’ o f Missouri. He served three terms i n succession i n Congress. In 1890

he declined to be renominated to Congress. Though not a candidate for any office that year, he made over thirty speeches in Missouri and other States. His record in Congress was excellent. He took a prominent part in the passage of the law by which the railroad land grants made twentyfive years ago were forfeited and the land restored to the people. Hon. Knute Nelson. Knute Nelson, the man whom the Republicans of Minnesota have

KNUTE NELSON.

taining an ordinary education, he studied and began the practice of law. At the breakihg out of the civil war he enlisted as a private in a Wisconsin regiment until the close of the strife. He served as a member of the Wisconsin State Legislature in 1868-’69, and in 1870 removed, Douglas County, Minnesota. Here he was Elector on the Garfield ticket, and served four years in the State Senate. 1 He served in the Fortyeighth, Forty-ninth and Fiftieth Congresses, being elected by very large majorities, but he was finally given a political rest by a combination which had been effected for his defeat.

A Go-as-You-Please Train.

“Did you ever ride on a train where they stopped to kill snakes?” said a young man a few days ago. “Well, I did. While coming over the Redstone branch in Fayette County, last week, the train suddenly checked its speed and stopped. On going to the windows and platform to learn the cause of the sudden stoppage the passengers were treated to a novel sight- The fireman with a long poker and the engineer with a link were making frantic efforts to kill a large snake. When the task was completed. the fireman coolly remarked to his companion: ‘John, here Is where we kilted that one yesterday. ’" — Blairsrille (Pa.) Reporter.

An anoynymous contributor to the Atlantic Monthly says that several summers of her girlhood were passed in an old villa at Castle Gandolfo, which before 1870 was the summer residence of the Pope, near Rome. A Polish lady, who occupied the lower floor of the house, had a piano in her parlor, and very kindly gave the little girl permission to use it every day during the hour of her own afternoon drive. I was proud of being allowed to learn some little pieces, particularly a duet from “Lucia di Lammermoor,” which I looked upon as a masterpiece of subtlety and execution. One afternoon I was thumping away at that morsel, with my eight-year-old hands stretched at last to the full extent of an octave and my eight-year-old mind happy in the thought of having mastered all the technical difficulties of the composition, when the door opened softly, and' I looked up to see a white-haired man, with a handsome, kindly, and to me very venerable countenance, standing beside me. I stopped playing in alarm, but he motioned me not to move, and said gently, in Italian: “Go on, my little girl, never, mind me. I should like to hear that piece over again.” Half reassured by the kindness of his manner, I began again nervously at “Lucia,” and somehow managed, to get through it. “It is not bad,” said my listener. He took hold of my hand and showed me how the notes should be struck and what I must aim at in practicing. “And now, if you like, I will play to you,” he said, and sat down and played “Lucia” to show me how it should be done. From that he went on to other music, very different, hut wonderfully grand, it seemed to me, and so on and on, till, stopping at last, he saw me standing there, with eyes big with wonder and full of tears. “You have a soul for music, child,” he said; “study hard, and will get ou.” At that moment my father’s voice called from the stairway. I gathered up my book to go. The old gentleman patted me on the head as I thanked him shyly, and I ran away full of wonder and excitement. Afterward I heard and later still I understood that the musical treat of that afternoon was a privilege which many would have envied me; that the piano in the tapestried salon had vibrated under the touch of genius; that I had been listening to the great pianist, the Abbe Liszt, and what is appalling to think of, had been playing to him.

W. J. STONE.

elected to the Governorship, is a Norwegian, having been born in Norway in 1843, and his career has been a strangely varied one. When but 9 years of age he - came with his parents to this country, where, after ob-

John Chapman of Wyoming relates a thrilling experience his wife had recently with four silver-tip bears, a she bear and three cubs. John was away from home at the time. After eating an early supper, Mrs. Chapman stepped outside the kitchen door, intending to place a pan of milk in an outhouse. She had just closed the door of the kitchen when, looking up, she was confronted by four bears, all resting upon their haunches and within a few feet of her. She screamed and rushed into the house and told the hired naan the cause of her fright and assisted in finding the cartridges for a rifle that stood handy. a.td then sunk into a

Playing: to Eiszt.

Four Big Silver-Tips.

chair exhausted and helpless, while the hired man made an attack on the bears, killing the old one and two of the cubs. When Mr. Chapman returned he found his wife in an alarming condition, her nerves being at such tension that he feared she would go into hysterics. That night she complained of hearing the bear screaming outside, and finally, to satisfy her, John got up, and taking his gun went to the door, where, sure enough, was the remaining bear, standing out in the cold. The cub made for the bush as soon as he heard John coming, but in the morning the dogs ■were turned loose on his trail, and young bruin was brought in to complete the family. The cubs were fully half-grown silver-tips and averaged over 180 pounds each. The she bear was a big one—as large as a cow.

The Czar Is Weak, Not Wicked.

A near kinsman of the Czar, who visits Russia frequently, and who is well known for his frankness as well as fairness told me a few months ago that many of the things done by the alleged order of the Czar were repugnant to that ruler’s feelings. The prince’s conversation might be summarized in this way: “Alexander has no idea of doing wrong to anyone. His heart is full of kindness. He is happy only when surrounded by his family circle. “It is true that the foulest maladministration and persecution are going on all about him; but he, poor fellow, is incapable of seeing them. He hears only the reports of ministers, who know that he does not like to be worried. “The poor man is so burdened with fat- that he can scarcely do any work; his temperament is sluggish; he lacks intelligence; when he signs papers he has no idea that he is doing more than an exercise in penmanship. “He is physically and mentally incapable of supervising department of the government—not evep the military; and as a consequence the country is left entirely to officials, who divide up power among themselves, and do what they can to remain in office.” I only quote enough of this prince’s remarks tp. explain how it is that abuses continue in a country nominally governed by a mild, peaceloving Czar, for it opens a terrible vista of what might be were he disposed to be personally cruel. It makes one shudder to think of the day when the present czarowitz shall mount the throne.—Harper’s Magazine.

Many Ways of Spelling “Cat.”

Those of you who are fond of cats will be interested to know that as these soft-purring creatures look the same in all countries they are also known in these various lands by names not very different from that by which they are known to you. In Danish and Dutch and Swedish the word differs from our own designation only in the spelling, being “kat” in first two and “katt” in the last. To the French the cat is known as “chat.” In Germany dbe cat is called “katze;” in Latin,, “catus;” “gatto” in Italian; “gato” in Portuguese and Spanish; “kot” in Polish; “kots” in Russian; “keto” in Turkish; “cath” in Welsh; “catua” in Basque and “gsz* or.“katz” in Armenian.— Harper‘« Young People.

A Ministering Angel.

The other day 1 overheard twe ladies discussing the merits and de merits of their husbands. It hap pened their hubbies were present, which may account for a certair amount of praise that was lavished upon these specimens of the lords o! creation. Finally one of the ladies made th< remark that in many respects lieri was a model husband. The husband had been sitting ar interested but silent auditor, bul when he heard this remark it was too much for him and rising from his lolling position in a chair he said: “Well, I acknowledge it—l am forced to admit it.” This finds a parallel in an incidenl which happened iD an Illinois town several years ago. A gentleman whom I shall call John Smith, because it was really his name, was engaged during the winter months in cutting wood in thf Okaw Bottoms near* the town it which he lived. One day his as slipped and his foot was severed jusl above the toes. John mounted his wagon and drove to town, bursting into his wife’s presence more or less covered with blood. She looked, and, taking in the situation at a glance, exclaimed: “Oh, John, did you do that all at one lick?” It is impossible to tell whethei she really expected he would keej; chopping away at his foot until he had haggled it off.—New York Mercury.

Easy Lessons in Arithmetic.

A, who is a young girl, is seated at ope end of a 50-foot veranda with her rhbther, while B, who is a palpitating young man, is seated at the other end all alone, says the St. Louis Repub. lie. The mother is taken with headache and retires. The young folk are attracted toward each other at the rate of a foot and a half every 42 seconds. How long will it take them to bump together. A tin-peddler cheats a farmer’? wife out of 11 cents on her paper rags and 17 cents on a calfskin, while she works off two dozen bad eggs on him at 14 cents a dozen, and stuffs £, pound and a half of hens’ feathers -into the sack of geese feathers sho sells at* 40 cents a pound. How much is the tin-peddler ahead? And why doesn't he smile over it? A preacher on a salary of SBOO a year and a steady job, buys a croquet set for $2 and invites one of the church trustees to play a game with him. How much would the salary of the preacher have amounted to in three years, seven months and thirteen days, had he staid on instead of having a “call” within four weeks after beating the trustee? A dry-goods clerk on a salary of sls a week, and having a cash capital of SI,OOO in the bank, begins to court a girl. His intended father-in-law borrows of him at the rate of $32 a week, and he saves $7 a week out of his salary. What will be the state of his finances at the end of one year?

At Jefferson's recent appearance in Boston the box-office receipts were $25,000, probably the largest on rec ord for eight nights’ performances.

Atlas must have learned something about the weigh of the world. Yonkers Statesmwu

MARY E. LEASE.

Her Remarkable Career aa a Stump Orator and Pleader. Mrs. Mary Lease, who accompanied Gen. Weaver on his stumping tour throughout the country and divided the honors with him, is a remarkable woman. Those who have heard .her declare she has the gift of oratory in a marked degree. Her deep, powerful, and resonant voice commands instant attention, and enables her hearers to catch every word under circumstances most trying to a public speaker. Her style is her own, the sentences short and strong and poured forth with a volubility rarely equaled. It is a torrent of speech- launched at the most vulnerable point of attack indicated by her keen intelligence. Her -figure on the platform is commanding. She is tall and stately in bearing, and was once introduced by Gen. Weaver to a St. Louis audience as “Our Queen Mary. ” Mrs. Lease’s past experience has been more calculated to crush ambition than to engender it. Many years spent on a Kansas farm, under the most trying conditions of slender means, could not stamp out the determination to rise. It caused her to ponder upon the causes which were leading to a decline of the prosperity of the farming classes, and she resolved to acquire some profession

MRS. MARY E. LEASE.

which would relieve her of the necessity for depending upon agriculture for a living. She turned to the study of law, and was thus engaged when the Union Labor campaign of 1888 claimed her services as a speaker. She entered the' campaign of 1890 with renewed zest, speaking almost daily in the open air and apparently never tiring. The People's party, under whatever name, has always claimed and had her services, not only in political campaigns preceding elections, but all the year round. The domestic side of Mrs. Lease’s life is,not the least of her creditable characteristics. She is a fond mother and good wife. Her home is in Wichita, where her husband, who is a pharmacist, is engaged in business. Her children are bright and well, trained, and the eldest son, now almost grown, will probably follow her to the rostrum. Ireland was her birthplace.

Edible Insects.

Young wasp grubs fried in butter do not at first sight appear to be the most, alluring dish in the world, yet they have been pronounced delicious by those hardy experimenters who have tried them. Fed as they are upon the sweetest juices drawn from fruits and flowers, they naturally possess a delicate flavor. Perhaps the best way to prepare them is to bake them in a comb. Incidentally to experiments conducted by government experts respecting the edible qualities of insects, a number of trials were made of a beverage particularly novel, which might be termed “antade. ” A few hundred ants were crushed at a time, in a mortar with a pestle, and the liquid from them, after being strained, was mixed just like lemon juice, with water and sugar. The resulting beverage resembles lemonade so closely as to be scarcely distinguishable from it. The reason why is very easy to explain. Formic acid is the nearest approach to citric acid, which gives lemon juice its flavbr, known to the chemist In fact, there is very little difference between them. Awhile ago a St. Louis caterer made from grasshoppers a soup which was pronounced delicious by many people who were offered an opportunity of tasting it. It closely resembled bisque. A learned professor treated some friends of his on one occasion to Curry of grasshopper and grasshopper croquettes without informing, them as to the nature of the banquet, but an unlucky hind leg discovered in one of the croquettes revealed the secret. Among the people of Java cockchafers are a favorite food. Those admirable economists, the Chinese, eat the chrysalids of silkworms after the silk lias been wound off them, frying them in butter or lard, adding the yelk of an egg of two and seasoning with pepper, salt and vinegar. In order t!6 acquire the plumpness so admired by their spouses, Turkish women ct/nsume jn large quantities the grubs of cert.aVr. beetles. It would require some courage to test for one’s self the excellence of any of these dishes; and yet what may not be dared by a race which long ago discovered the edible properties of the eel and the oyster?

A Hybrid Corkscrew.

It is said that an Atchison genius has invented a vine called potamato, which bears potatoesunder the ground and tomatoes above ground. The idea is able, but the potamato vine seems to be a reminiscence of the ingenious combination which Dr. Loring, of Salem, Mass., discovered when Minister to Portugal. Dr. Loring grafted the common corkscrew upon the cork tree, and succeeded in producing corks with the corkscrew growing in them. For this brilliant service to agriculture the King of Portugal decorated him with the Grand Order of the Leather Medal (second class)

Watch Crystals.

Watch crystals are made by blow!ng a sphere of glass about one yard In diameter, after which the discs are cut from it by a pair of compasses having a diamond at the extremity of one leg.

Life in Brazil.

Levi says of the natives pf Brazil that, they are subject to fewer diseases than the European, and rjeach an age of from 100 to 120, or even 140 years. '

IIUMOR OF THE WEEK.

STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Manj Odd, Curloos, and Lanfhabla Phase* of Raman Nature Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Word Artists at Our Own Day. Tea-Table Talk. We suppose a sailor comes to be a “tar” as the result of the pitch of his vessel.—Binghamton Leader. It may be that some people enjoy chess because it is necessarily a “square” game.,.—Washington Star. The precocious hopeful does not consider himself up to snuff until he gets down to tobacco.—Dallas News. When a rifle explodes the fault may be in the br,eech, though it is charged to the muzzle.—Boston Courier.

Millionaire Lady (who has just bought a villa)—“Now, Jabe, go out in the barn and see that the hens lay eggs for breakfast.”—Siftings. She —“ Did you see anything in New York that reminded you of Philadelphia?” He—“ Yes; the messenger boys.”—Brooklyn Life. A Poor Judge. —Mr. Newwed—“Um! seems to me, my angel, this hash has a queer taste.” Young Wife —“Hash? That’s fruit cake.”—New York Weekly. When one’s wife follows him out to the liatrack with her hand on his shoulder he inquires involuntary: “How much do you want, my dear?” —Dallas News.

A curious circumstance about organ-grinding music is that the more it’s ground with the same instrument the less flue it becomes.— Philadelphia Press. Will’am—“Father, wl:at b: comes of the crows during the winter season?” Father—“l Lave been told they go South to look after the lost caws.”—Rochester Democrat. “You’re the s’.ecp'cst-looking individual I ever saw,” said Dick to the seedy man on the corner. “Yes, even my coat hasn’t had a nap in some time,” quoth he.—Lost n Post. Frank —“l’ll. never lorget that jolly dinner at the club Jim gave-us before he was married.” Tom—“ You won’t, eh! Why, you forgot all about it before the dinner was over.’’—Life. Little Boy —“ Don't Quakers ever fight?” Mamma—“No, my dear.” Little Boy (after reflection) —“I should think it would be awful hard for areal big Quaker to be a Quaker ” —Good News.

“I think I’ll have an oil portrait made,” said Mr. Derrick, who had become suddenly rich in petroleum. “There you go talking shop again!” exclaimed his wife, who was taking lessons in culture.—Puck. The Easiest Way.— Clerk—“You can call him up on that telephone, if you wish to talk to him.” Stranger —“How far is he from here?” Clerk “About ten miles.” Stranger—- “ Well, I’d rather walk.”—Puck. The Retort Courteous. —A—“lt seems to me that your ears are getting bigger and bigger every day.” B—“ Let me tell you something. My ears and your brain would make a flrst-rate donkey.”—Texas Siftings. Boy —Pop, kin I go to th’ circus? Pop—Circuses is wicked. Boy—The man gave me two tickets fer carryin’ water for the horses. Pop—Urn! A man wot’s as charitable as that can't be very bad. We’ll both go.—Good News. No Need for Hurry.— Miss Hastings (overtaking Miss Slowboy on the way to church)— “Hurry, Tillie, or you'll be late.” Miss Slowboy—“There is no hurry, dear. Let me introduce Mr. Bellows, our organist.”— Puck.

A Cruel Insinuation. Miss Bondclipper—“Bridget, some of my jewelry is missing!” Bridget (who reads the papers)—“Sure, mumr you will ’not be intimating that it’s a member of the English aristocracy that Oi am.”—Texas Siftings. At the Intelligence Office.— Mrs. Hunter—“l want a good girl, and possibly you might do. Have you had any experience?” Domestic Importation Faith, and haven’t Oi hem in no less than twinty families within a month!” —Boston Transcript. What He Objected To. —Mr. Shortweight (dealer in coal) —I want, you to settle for that ton of coal you got a few days ago. A man has to pay for what he gets in this world. Customer—You are right, sir. And when he buys coal he has to pay for a lot he doesn’t get.—Brooklyn Life. Means of Self-destruction.— Morbyd (members of the Suicide Club) —“I have selected strychnine.” Gluemy (another member)—" Thave decided to use a parallel.” “a parallel? What’s that?” “I don’t know, but it’s fatal. The newspapers are always speaking of the deadly parallel. ” —Puck. A Severe Test.— Stranger—Call 7°ur paper a great advertising medium, do you? It isu’t worth shucks. I put in an advertisement last week and didn’t get an answer, not one. Editor—My! my! How was your advertisement worded? Stranger— “A poor young man wants a pretty wife who can do her own housework.”— New York Weekly.

Bulkins was very pious, very fond of the ladies, and very bald on the back of bis head. The other evening he was calling on a girl, and was giving her considerable church talk. “Ah, Miss Mary,” he said, “we are watched over very carefully. Even the hairs of our heads are numbered.” “Yes, Mr. Bulkins,” she replied, “but some of the back numbers of yours appear to be missing.” —Tid-Bits.

A Reverend Joker.

Early in his career, some one gave Bishop Wilberforce the sobriquet of “Soapy Sam.” A lady once asked him why he was so called. “Because, madam,” he answered, “I am always in hot water and always come out of it with clean hands.” On-another occasion, the Bishop was at an evening party, when a lady sang a song very badly. “That is a difficult song,” remarked some one to the Bishop. “Difficult?” was the reply; “would it were impossible."