Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 December 1892 — FEMININITIES. [ARTICLE]

FEMININITIES.

You can still find a man nowand then who is expecting to get to heaven on his Wife’s church membership. Out of the 240,000 domestic servants to London it is estimated that 10,000 are always out of employment. Mrs. Jones—“ Don’t trouble to see me to the door, Mrs. Smith. ” Mrs. Smith —“No trouble; quite a pleasure, I assure you. ” Some of the people who are the most anxious about the recognition of friends In heaven are the ones who shake hands with two fingers in church. “How different you soldiers are from us!” said Arabella to the Captain; “with us a conquest only begins, while with you it ends the engagement. ” Never pronounce anyone to be a willful niggard until you have seen the contents of their purse. The distribu tion should be in accordance with the receipts. Hobbs—“ There goes a man who has buried fifteen wives.” Mrs. Hobbs—- “ For heaven’s sake! what is he? A second Bluebeard?” Hobbs—“ No—an undertaker. ” Very few people go into an argument In order to discover the truth of the matter. They want to hold their own and rout the enemy. Hence the general loss of temper. Young Wife—“ Before we were married, George, you never smoked in my presen e.” Young Husband—“l know it, my dear, and you never wore curlpapers in mine. ’’ We have noticed that when you tell a woman that h r daughter is just the Image of her when she was that age, the mother looks pleased and the daughter looks seared. A Chicago young woman was onoe heard to observe that that girl must indeed be a strange kind of a girl who could say conscientiously that she did not like a fuzzy mustache.