Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 39, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 October 1892 — OUR BUDGET OF FUN. [ARTICLE]

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO* INQS HERB AND THERE. fok«a uia Jok*’et» that Ar* Snppo**d t* Hav* B„d K*c*ntljr Born- Saying* and Doing* that Ar* Odd, Curiou* aad Laugnabl*. Sprinkle* of Sploe. A CA3IPAIGN lie may be nailed, but caucuses are bolted. —Somerville Journal. Winds may come and winds may go, but Gloucester races go on forever. An exploded theory— l didn’t know it was loaded.—Union County Standard. In the nature of things two lovers must fall in love before they can fall out.—Dallas News. . The sculptor isn’t the kind of man that cuts no figure in the world.— Binghamton Leader. A sian’s idea of practicingeeonomy Is to preach it three times a day to his wife.—Atchison Gl6.be/ ! cherished link gone, ” said the young man who lost his cuff button.—Washington St^r.; Soft gloves are worn by pugilists to prevent hard feeling in a friendly fight.— New Orleans Picayune. Jagson says there are lots of men who start for heaven too late to get past quarantine.—Elmira Gazette. The man who is stuck on himself is one who backed his judgnjent and bet on the wrong man.—Picayune. The man who has “something which can beat Nancy Hanks” wants to trot it out. —Yonkers Statesman.

It is a queer thing that after a girl has consented to fly with a man she usually has to walk.—Christian Union. When a wife hears a dull thud on the doorstep she knows that the lodge has adjourned.—Binghamton Republican. A polite tramp: Judge—“ What is your name?” Tramp—“ Allow me to exchange cards with your Honor. ” —Texas Siftings. Father —No appetite this evening, eh? What is the matter? Late lunch? Little boy—No, sir. Early apples.—Good News. There isn’t much lifting power to your religion if it doesn’t make you " do your best to pay 100 cents on the dollar.—Ram’s Horn. They have “potato socials” jn Kansas. The name may bd from the fact that the young people go there to pare.—Texas Siftings. ' “Oh, dry up!” as autumn said to the leaf. “I’m not as green ¥ as 1 was,” replied the leaf, “so I’ll take your advice. ” —Texas Siftings. Pointing at the caudal appendage of the hand-organ monkey,/ Quibble remarked: “The tail of a wayside din.”—Boston Transcript. When the devil sees church members wrangling with one another he knows it will be safe.for him to sit down and.rest. —Ram’s Horn. “Jack told me last flight that he had given me his “Well, it*S damaged goods. He told me last week Jjhat I had broken it.”- I —Life. Th6se who would read Nature’s opekj book in meadow and woods have an extra facility at present. She is heijself. turning the leaves. —Philadelphia Eifedger. Tni flrst-is called the Index finger, but When a man takes three or so it’s an index of his opinion that the season has grown too cold for beer.— Philadelphia Times.

CoßßE'EE'bas- sold tbe right to a whisky flrnfctb :o4 rae V-new, brand after himi_ No doubt JA Will be a good liquor to make strong punches with.—Philadelphia Record. Mr. Toothandnaii.— “lcah’t imagine what we ever got married for; we’re totally different at every single point.” Mrs. Toothandnail—“Oh, you flatterer.”—Boston Courier. Son —“Pa!” Father—“ Well?” “Is a vessel “Yes.” “Pas” “What is it?” “What kinfi of a- boat is a blood-vessel?” “It’s a life boat. Now run away to bed. ” —Tid-Bits. “How did they like you in Scraggleville?” asked one actor of another. “Very much, indeed, it appeared. It was all I could do to induce the landlord to let me leave.”—Washington Star. There is a great difference between military engagements and love engagements. In one there’s a good of falling in, and in the other there’s a good deal of falling out.—Yonkers Statesman. The common impression is that there is very little poetry in matrimony. When people take out their marriage licenses-they are supposed to surrender their poetic license.— —Washington Star. “I see that O’Grogan has got him a coat of ar-r-ms since he was app’inted dep’ty sheriff.” “The dirty aristocrat! Wance he was glad enough to go out in his shirt sleeves wid the rest of us.”—Chicago News. “Yoh kain’t alias jedge a man’s achievements,” said Uncle Eben, “by de ’mount ob noise he makes erbout ’em. De cannon ain’t makin’ er soun’ now, but de bass drum am jes’ ez talkative as eber.”—Washington Star. First Country Boy —“ Your sis- j ter is pickin’ up lots o’ city manners from them summer boarders of yours. * Second Country Boy—“ Yes, indeed. She’s got to sayin’ ‘not in it’ and ‘see?’ and las’ night she let a feller kiss her in the hammock.” —Good News.