Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 July 1892 — Page 5

A WOMAN'S INFLUENCE

BY LULU JAMISON

CHAPTER 11. THE COUSINS. On the southeastern coast of Nantucket Island is situated the little town of Siasconset, formerly a Ashing hamlet, founded by brave and hardy men, who built their box-like cabins on the bold bluff rising from this dangerous coast, and wrested from its waters their harvests of cod and pollock. For two centuries this place had an uneventful, unprogressive existence, but lately the hand of improvement has touched it. and under the modernizing influence, it is gradually tending towards the realization of that muchabused thing, a summer resort. To the world In general, it is still comparatively unknown, but to those fortunate enough to have spent a summer beneath the inspiration of its life-giving air, its charming, unconventional features afford a theme for never-ending praise. Margaret chanced to hear of this odd bit of creation, and longing for something out of the ordinary run, decided to try its unconventional freedom, notwithstanding the season and Miss Hilton’s advice. She had not been very well during the winter, and the doctor, discovering a general breaking down, had prescribed change of scene and air as the most effective medicine.' Margaret cheerfully agreed with him, and very gladly availed herself of this opportunity to escape for a time the unSleasant notoriety which her late ineritance had given her, and the more than friendly overtures of politic Cornelias, with ambitious, matrimonial hopes for their respective jewels. She did not realize Miss Hilton’s fear by regretting her selection of S’conset. She found it both novel and delightful. Its unique features amply atoned for Its dullness, and with much to fill her days she could not complain of monotony. There were pleasant walks along wellkept roads or across the moors, whose swelling undulations of rich ooloring were scarcely less impressive than the ocean itself. Of the sea she could never tire. Whatever its mood, the 1 broad expanse of lonely waters appealed to her with a fascination which only Its lovers understand. The old houses, many of which had heard the storms of two centuries and gave ample evidence of the fact, contributed another element of variety. How many delightful hours she had spent in their cozy interiors, climbing shaky ladders doing duty for steps, to bump her head against the rafters of funny little attics, hunting out the bits of furniture which looked so ridiculously large in comparison with the rooms they occupied, or sitting in the tall, spindlelegged chairs before the broad Are-place watching the burning logs and listening to tales of danger and adventure upon the sea. She loved nothing better than to pore over the log books and follow in imagination the whaling expeditions of other and more prosperous days. And the old captains, in whoso odd ways and quaint sayings she took such amused interest, were always happy to spin their yarns for such appreciative ears. Thus she speedily grew in public favor. She helped Aunt Maria to make bread and bake beans, and ate her full share of them afterward. She delighted old Captain Baxter by pretending to believe his unconscionable tales, and she produced such an impression on Captain Morris that he gallantly and unblushingly declared she was the kind of girl he liked. She was really and thoroughly enjoying herse f. let, notwithstanding, Mi-s Hilton, wh se preconceived notions were not to be removed, o mtinued to write doleful letters, in which sympathy for Margaret in her supposed dreary surroundings was largely predominant. Renting one of these commiserating notes on the beach one afternoon, Margaret could not refrain from smiling as she compared her actual surroundings with those pictured by the writer. The day was exceptionally, Ane, clear, and warm, the bright sun and soft winds seeming to hold the promise of early summer. The sea. so often wild upon this dangerous coas', was unusually calm, and the waves rolled in with languid rhythmic unison, a quivering sweep of blue waters, breaking into a curl of foam upon the high, broad beach. From the bold bluff looking out upon the restless ocean to the wave-washed horizon rose the little village, a marvel of quaint, picturesque beauty, with its much-shingled cottages of curious design m l still more curious architecture. Beyond lay a broad expanse of moor, rising into a range of low-lying hills, and further still the distant sparkle of the sea. Over all a cloudless S’consrt sky, and the promise of a glorious sunset. Lying at full length on the beach, Margaret enjoyed the calm serenity of the scene about her. But she va r not left long in undisturbed quiet. The current of her thoughts was rather rudely diverted from Miss Hilton and her letter to the spectacle of her hat sailing gracefully up the beach under the impulse of a gust raised for the occasion. With an exclamation more forcible than elegant, she sprang to her feet and hastened in pursuit, until she was brought to a breathless standstill by a very audible “Hello!” And the next second a head, followed immediately by the body of a young man, made itself visible from behind one of the numerous dories lining the beach. “Oh!” cried Margaret, somewhat startled and wondering whether the sudden apparition had fallen from the clouds or ascended from the sand. "I beg your pardon,” remarked this very much alive apparition, surprised in his turn, and displaying a remarkable activity in getting on his feet. “I’ve been asfhep. Didn’t know a soul was around. Hope I haven’t frightened you.” “Oh, no! you are not very formidable, only—” “You didn’t expect to see me,” he put In with a quizzical light in the laughing brown eyes, which Margaret found strangely familiar. "I dare say he thinks I’m overcome with delight,” was her inward comment; accompanied with some slight resentment, a feeling soon dispelled by another glance in the frank, handsome face. “He is certainly good-looking,” she told herself, as a result of this brief scrutiny. “I wonder how under heaven he found his way here. I must And out. “Strangers are real curiosities at this season, * she s«Mi aloud, partly following

up her own thought and partly replying to a remark of his. “There are no visitors here, only the Ashermen and their wives, and a limited supply of children. ” “I know; awful prosy, isn’t it? I’d die in no time. You are different, though.” “Yes, and while I’ve been wasting my time in talking, my hat is gone.” “So it has. Indeed, I’m awfully sorry.” His eye followed hers to the hat rising and falling on an outgoing wave. “Was it valuable?” “Cost Afty cents,” she replied, endeavoring to preserve her gravity. “I suppose it has gone'for good, and I might as well be going home.” “Oh, no! don’t!” he entreated, with boyish eagerness. “I’m awfully tired of my own company.” “Candid, upon my word. I’ll stay a little while, but really I don’t feel that I should." Margaret might well question the propriety of her action. She felt convinced that Miss Hilton would not approve this conAdential manner with a stranger, but there were times, she felt, when a suggestion of impropriety is the spice which gives a variety to life. This was one of them. She intended to follow out the line of conduct proposed to herself when she came to this new world, as it were, namely, to do as she pleased. J ust now she pleased to stay and talk with this young man, for whom'she felt an unaccountable liking. She had some curiosity to discover his name, and his reasons for visiting S’conset. In some way she felt she had seen his face before. While she was thus thinking and knitting her brow over this vague resemblance, he was watching her face with a scrutinizing interest. Glancing up, she met his eyes, and Anding its humor contagious, she was soon laughing as merrily as he. “We are better acquainted now,” he cried gayly, while she wondered at her capacity for nonsense. “If you want to know a person just laugh with thepi. That’s my theory. Not that I should be laughing, though.- Crying would better suit my condition in this vale of tears. Won’t you sit down, Miss ” “Smith,” supplemented Margaret, giving him the name she had assumed. “Smith; you don’t look like a Smith. But I’m glad it isn’t Coffin or Folger. You are not a native, I know. Please sit here. You’ll And it ever so comfortable. Only a triAe rocky. Do they Ash in these things?" “In these dories? Oh, yes; it is ever so interesting to watch them. ” “Well, I shouldn’t And the pastime so amusing. Is that how you manage to exist In this God-forsaken hole?” “Evidently you don’t appreciate nature,” she remarked, in rather unAattering tones, as she took possession of the sest he offered her. “No. I appreciate the comforts of civilized life more. I’m not a romantic kind of animal, you see. I’m tired of this already. Only came this morning, too. I’ve been In Nantucket a week. Hauled up there to see an antediluvian aunt of my mother's. She got it into her head that she couldn’t exist without a sight of my manly countenance, so ” “You had compassion on her?”

“Yes; that was it. It is her fault I’m here to-day. She talked of S’conset until I thought it was second heaven; but I haven’t seen anything here yet ” He added the last word by way of qualification, and gave Margaret an interrogative glance. ■ “I suppose not," was her tranquil reply, “unless you saw it in dreams. You should have chosen a livelier season. It is perfectly charming in the summer. Now, things are inclined to be slow.” “Rather," he agreed readily. “Horses in the bargain. The brute that hauled me from Nantucket stopped every Ave minutes to get his breath. It was wearying on my patienoe, I assure you. And the old captain who drove mo was more wearying than the horse.- The stories he expected me to swallow were an Insult to my intelligence. I think this air must breed captains, they are so wonderfully proliAo. Every blessed man I’ve met is a captain, or would have been if the whale Asheries had kept up. I’ve been trying to hunt up the ordinary sailors.” “Perhaps sailors were not in vogue on whaling vessels,” suggested Margaret, with utmost gravity. “ Captain Pitman says ” “That’s another peculiarity,” he Interrupted abruptly, “their names. Did you ever hear anything to beat it? Wretchedly monotonous to hear Coffin, Folger. and Pitman, Pitman, Folger and Coffin.” “ ‘There’s nothing in a name,’ ” quoted Margaret, lightly. “A mistake altogether. A name means everything. Take mine, for instance — Brian Leigh. Now, the Brian part What’s the matter?” He might well ask this question, for without the least warning Margaret had slipped hastily from her seat, on the boat, and stood regarding him with a curious blending of perplexity and surprise. ‘‘Brian Leigh,” she replied, in an incredulous tone; “is it really Brian Leigh?” “I have always understood so,” he answered with a laugh and a puzzled glance at her face. “I don’t see how I can be mistaken.” “I am very foolish,” she remarked, anxious to divert his suspicions, while she still regarded him rather curiously, though with a newer and deeper interest. She understood now the strange resemblance unexplained before. Something in the eyes and mouth recalled vague memories of her father, and this likeness, faint as it was, served to awaken new feelings in her breast. She wanted to be alone to think of this new and unexpected turn of affairs. She was not given to superstition, but the coincidence of their meeting in this out-of-the-way place seemed too curious to be merely coincidence; yet, as such she must accept it What would Miss Hilton say? Should she tell her? No. Should she tell her cousin that she was the Margaret who had taken his fortune from him? No, again; and she could give herself no reason for these decisions. “It is certainly strange that we should be thrown together,” 6he remarked to herself when she had left Brian a few minutes later. “I almost wish he would not go back to Nantucket to-night. If he should stay here a few days I might have an opportunity to study his character. He doesn’t seem to be muoh troubled. No depth- of feeling, I’m afraid. He acts more like a silly-college boy. I think I was rather silly, too. I’m really ashamed of myself. Well, I’ll await developments.” Margaret dreamed of her cousin that night, and rose next morning still thinking of him. CHAITKKIII. * ON THE SANDS .AT S’CONSET The day came in damp and chilly. The sun refused to make his appearance, and the heavy fog hanging over the sea crept stealthily inland until the outlines of the village were lost in its subtle, mysterious folds. Margaret viewed the landscape from the conAned (pace of her bed-room window. “Damp,” she commented. “I dare say

I shall be drowned ia this mist, but out I intend to go, nevertheless." True to her word, she put on rubber cloak, boots, and cap, and, feeling comparatively water-proof, started for the deserted beach. The mist had lifted somewhat, but the sea was very high, and the gulls flew over the rolling surf like tiny dots upon the gray horizon. Margaret’s eye followed their graceful motion as they dipped their wings to the seething waves, or rose with sweeping course to pursue their onward flight. “How provoking,” she exclaim'ed. “I did think that glorious sunset meant nioe weather to-day. I suppose it is rather wicked to wish for sunshine when old Captain Pitman wants rain to fill his cistern. It would puzzle God to please everybody. I wonder if those gulls foretell a storm. I haven’t the least idea about the direction of the wind. Let me see: that is the east over there, and that is the north, and Well, I declare!" In locating the points of the compass, her eye had encountered her cousin, and he, seeing her at the same moment, began to make the best of his way to join her, waving his arms spasmodically meanwhile. When he reached her finally he was quite breathless. “Quite hard work, isn’t it?” said Margaret, as he stood panting before her. “The sand is ( so soft and yielding." “I should say so. I believe I have a peck of it in my shoes. Did you come down here to kill yourself, or merely for the pleasure of seeing one trudge over that sand.” “I didn’t come for the first object, certainly; and as for the second, it really didn’t enter my mind. I have a very contrary nature. I like the things that most people dislike. For instance, I revel in rain and dampness. I love to go out in a pouring shower. It doesn’t hurt me, either. I’m abnormally healthy.” “And abnormally imprudent,” he added. “If I had any authority, you shouldn’t sit here.” “But you haven’t any authority, and I have an unusual prejudice in favor of my own way. Why didn’t you go to Nantucket last night? Is it possible you have managed to survive so long in this God-forsaken hole?” Brian caught the spico of mischief in these words. “I thought I’d stay a few days,” he explained, in answer. “Dreaded the ride back, too. I haven't any ambition to be fretted to death in thoso ruts. Besides I wanted to And what interests you here. ” He threw himself beside her and Axed his eyes upon her face. She moved restlessly under this scrutiny. [TO BK CONTINUED.J

What Lese Mavjeste Is.

Lese majeste is a crime unknown in the United States. On the other side of the Atlantic, however, hundreds of people have been sentenced lately, especially in Germany, for its commission. Its essence consists in speaking in any way with disrespect or irreverence of the reigning prince. A few instances of this law’s operation may be interesting. On March 3 last a servant girl, just 17 years of age, was sentenced at Dresden to three months’ imprisonment for lese majeste, the latter having consisted of speakingdisrespectfullyof Emperor William. A short time ago a lady at Prague was likewise condemned to three months’ imprisonment for having spoken disrespectfully of the Imperial family, the disrespect consisting of a remark which she made during some public ceremony to the effect that Archduke Frederick, who was present, was a pretty fellow. An equally preposterous case was that of the editor of the Potsdamer Zeitung, who shortly after the accession of Emperor William was charged with lese majeste for having said in his newspaper that the young monarch had been seen in a one-horse cab. In making the statement the object of the editor had been to give an illustration of William’s democratic ways, or rather of those which the Germans would have wished him to have inherited from his lamented father. The authorities, however, held that the paragraph was calculated to bring ridicule upon the sovereign, and accordingly the editor was sentenced by the tribunal at Potsdam to imprisonment. No less than nine persons are now undergoing imprisonment for having remained seated at public banquets when the German Emperor’s health was being drunk, the charge against them in each case being that of majestats beliedigung, or lese majeste. All these sentences have a sort of medieval savor about them, and are unsuited and out of keeping with a civilization so enlightened as that of the closing decade of the nineteenth century.

Molasses Used as Fuel.

A calculation has been made of the comparative results, from an economical point of view, of the substitution of molasses for coal as a fuel, which has now for some time.been practiced in certain parts of the South. According to this the lowest grades of vacuum pan of molasses contain from 20 to 25 per cent, of sugar, which cannot be extracted by existing machinery, and, estimating a barrel of such molasses to be worth net 50 cents or sl, and that a barrel holds 550 pounds of molasses, the molasses would thus be worth one or two cents a gallon, and from one eleventh to one-fifth of a cent per pound. Now, Pittsburg coal brought to the sugarhouse furnace has for ten years cost one-fifth of a cent/per pound. Molasses burns with a high heat in combination With wood or wood fiber, so that by sprinkling it on the bagasse —the dry stalks of the sugar-cane after the saccharine juice has been pressed from it—an excellent fuel of great power Is obtained. It would appear from these simple data, and estimating that only one-half the quantity of molasses produced is used for fuel, a substitute is furnished for 75,000 to 100,000 tons of coal.

Danger In Handling Flowers.

| It might not be supposed that danger ; lurks in the delicate operation of handling flowers, yet painful, troublesome wounds are frequently received by the workmen. Nearly every one who has had long and active employment in the j retail flower stores can show numerous scars, and It is common in busy Broadway shops and other large places in the trade to see a proprietor or several of his assistants with bandaged Angers. The thorns of roses cause the greatest mischief. Florists ascribe their most serious hurts to poison absorbed In hothouse productions which have undergone a strong vermin-killing process. A number of the dealers Infer that, after many applications, the juicy parts of the plants become impregnated with poison. Ship Duty. On board ship the day la divided into seven “watches.”

IT IS A STRONG TICKET.

CLEVELAND AND STEVENSON WILL WIN. The Democratic Is a National Party, and as It Exists To-day Is a Vigorous and Vitalising Force—There Is Absolutely No Opposition to the Ticket. Wliv Cleveland Is Strong. Grover Cleveland Is strong with the people because, as President, he was honest, fearless, conservative, and industrious. His administration was without scandal. His appointments were excellent. The country during his term thrived. There was no stagnation in business. The public revenues were not wasted in gratuities to the undeserving. He failed of re-election because sf the use of enormous amounts of Republican campaign money in doubtful States. He received 100,000 more votes from the people than Harrison did. In 1890, two years after his defeat, the people, voting by districts instead of by States, indorsed him and his policy, and reduoed the Republican membership in the House of Representatives to 90, and two Democratic United States Senators were gained from States which had not had Democratic representation in the Senate for a quarter of a century. The Hon. Frank P. Bond, in his address to the Democratic ratification meeting Monday night in Memphis did well to call the attention of the Southorn people to the courage of Cleveland in calling to high office many of the most prominent of Southern men. He knew nothing of sectional lines, and the South felt while he sat in the presidential chair that it had in him a friend indeed. The colleges of the country have become strong

MONOPOLY’S CANDIDATE-TICKLES THE TRUSTS.

—St. Paul Globo.

allies of the Democratic party since Mr. Cleveland took the leadership in the cause of tariff reform, and nearly all the graduates these days are disciples of Grover Cleveland. He has never, in his voluminous writings, given the Democrats any cause to apologize, and yet he has always been explicit and clear. He comes into the field again as the exemplar of the highest aspirations of the Democracy, and his name is a sufficient platform of itself. The doctrine of personal liberty enunciated in the Democratic declaration of principles is in line with the strictest Jeffersonlsm, and this plank will be of important effect in Illinois and Wisconsin, thereby increasing the chance of Democratic success in those States next November. Massachusetts having twice elected William E. Russell Governor may well be considered a doubtful State, lor Mr. Russell has stood before the people of his State, each time, as an advocate of tariff reform. It can not be maintained that the Democratic National Convention could have nominated a stronger ticket than Cleveland and Stevenson. If they can not win, nobody can. Democratic speakers will have no excuses to offer during the campaign. It will all be clear sailing. The men who pay taxes, either direct or indirect, will take kindly to Cleveland’s nomination, no matter in what quarter of the country they may be found. The folly of the Republican protection-reciprocity scheme has been thoroughly exposed, the manufacturers themselves Anding that it has not brought them relief trom congested markets. The situation at the present time is altogether assuring to Democratic hopes, and the outlook will grow brigher every hour.—Memphis AppealAvalanche.

Democracy United.

The Democratic is a national ■ party. It exists in every State in the Union as a vigorous and vitalizing force. It is the party of the people everywhere in the Union, but some particular annunciation of party doctrine fcs received in certain quarters more heartily than in others. The South arrays itself with the utmost heartiness against the Republican proposition, vigorously combated by Democrats, that through the means of a force bill there shall be Federal control o' elections. lowa, cursed by prohibition, which Republicans, notwithstanding the popular verdict, insist upon maintaining because a gerrymander has given them control of the General Assembly, are delighted with the Democratic proclamation of opposition to all sumptuary laws as an interference with the individual rights of the citizen. Both Illinois and Wisconsin arc well pleased with the declaration of the Democratic convention that freedom of education as an essential of civil and religious liberty as well as a necessity for the development of intelligence must not be interfered with under any pretext whatever, and the interference with parental rights and rights of conscience in the education of children is a fundamental Democratic doctrine. Wisconsin is pleased that its course in repealing the Bennett law is thus approved. Illinois is pleased that it has the moral, support of this national declaration In the fight it is still making against obstructive, illiberal, and bigoted Republicism for perfect freedom of conscience. The national Republican platform is silent on this point. So far as it has spoken concerning sumptuary laws it glances support of prohibition in those vague terms wh'ch its managers choose to employ. Everywhere in the Union, but more particularly in the agricultural States, which have felt the grievousness of the burden, Cleveland’s declaration that unnecessary taxation is unjust taxation is heartily accepted. The people have grown weary of abuse of the Federal newer in tho levy of taxes. They de-

mand so decided a reform that unjust burdens shall be lifted from them, and they want all schemes of taxation for a government economically administered to fall evenly in their operation, so that no class shall be special objects of governmental regard. The Democracy everywhere in the Union has determined to sink all differences of opinion and stand heartily by the Democratic cause and the Democratic candidates. Republicanism means prohibition; it means the force bill, it means interference with tho liberty of conscience, it means class legislation in the tariff and elsewhere, it means, as demonstrated in the McKinley law, pro-tection-run-mad, not the simple, wellmeaning if ppssibly mistaken protection advocated by Henry Clay, but the crushing, cunning millionaire’s protection, devised by William MoKinley and upheld by Benjamin Harrison, under which trusts flourish and wealth is concentrated in the hands of relatively few residents of the Republic, its Carnogies and its Goulds. Democracy opposed to these abominations will support the Presidential candidates named by a National Democratic Convention. Illinois, lowa, Wisconsin, and Indiana Democracy will make earnest struggle for the success of Cleveland and Stevenson.—Chioago Times.

Tammany and Cleveland.

Republican papers are making a good deal of bluster 1 about what Tammany is going to do for the Cleveland ticket during the campaign. According to a New York dispatch, hero is what Turnmany has already done; Tammany Hall’s great Cleveland and Stevenson banner was flung to the breeze yesterday morning from the Wigwam in East Fourteenth street. The banner is on enormous affair, measuring eighty by forty feet. It is

painted rod, with the following Inscription in white: * ,• * For President: : Grover Cleveland. : ; For Vice President: Adlai E. Stevenson. * The banner is the largest In tho city. An enormous crowd witnessed the work of running up tho banner, and when the names of Cleveland and Stevenson could be seen the crowd gave a great cheer. The banner adorns the center of tho building and is rigged on a huge piece of frame work.

A dial E. Stevenson.

Stevenson, of Illinois, will uphold the west as well as Cleveland, of New York, will the east.—Pittsburg Post. By thechoicoof Hon. Adlai E. Stevenson, ot Illinois, as candidate for vice president, the National Democratic Convention rounded out its brilliant work wisely and well.—Boston Globe. The nomination of Gen. Adlai E. Stevenson, of Illinois, who was First Assistant Postmaster General under President Cleveland’s administration, completes the tyork of the convention at Chicago. Gen. Stevenson will bring strength to the ticket, and will bo of especial service in his own State, where a severe struggle will take place this fall over State and national politics.—New York Journal. Hon. Adlai E. Stevenson, of Illinois, was chosen on the first ballot for Vice President as the result of a neckand neck contest with ex-Gov. Gray, of Indiana. There is not a stouter, sturdier, more uncompromising Democrat in the country than Adlai E. Stevenson. His nomination will particularly tickle the stalwarts and go far to assure the vote of his State for the Demociacy.— Philadelphia Record. THEdelegafed representatives of National Democracy chose well and wisely when they selected Adlai E. Stevenson as the party's Vice Presidential candidate. He is one of the cleanest, ablest, noblest Romans of them all. There is not a fleck or a flaw on his record or character, not a blemish that even the prying eyes of unscrupulous adversaries can discover. In his own State of Illinois men of all shades of political opinion point to him with pride as a pure, honorable, high-minded man and representative American citizen.—St. Paul Globe. In nominating for the Vice Presidency Hon. Adlai E. Stevenson of Illinois, the Chicago convention completed its work admirably. “Cleveland and Stevenson" make a very strong ticket. Excepting Mr. Cleveland himself no one is more popular in Illinois and in the West than Mr. Stevenson. Like Mr. Cleveland, he is a man and not ammey-bags. He has come up from ihe people. He stande for American manhood and manhood rights, not for money and money privileges. He was put on the ticket because he is qualified for Vice President, and not to “reach into Wall street" or to “pay the freight.”—St. Louis Republic.

Look Now on THIS Picture:

S T E V CLEVELAND N S O N And Then on THIS: H RAT T —St. Louie Republic. Gkeat culture is often betokened by simplicity.

THE JOKER’S BUDGET.

JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Degrees of Language—The Loss He Felt—They Must Have Been LyingBeggars—For Instance, Ac., &c. DEGREES OF LANGUAGE. Mr. Shortlc—l’ve got just twenty-five-:ents in my pocket, but I am sure of being able to settle your account early next week. Mr. Tuppercent —Look here, young nan; I can’t take any more excuses. Money talks! Mr. Shortlc—l know; but I thought you might let my quarter whisper alittle. —[Judge. THE LOSS HE FELT. Brown—Here is some tobacco, my poor nan. You must feci the loss of a smoko After dinner. Beggar—No, sir. I feel the loss of my dinner before tho smoke.—[Tid Bits. THEY MUST nAVK BEEN LYING. “It’s curious,” remarked the boatman to the Krupp foundry worker, “ that my task is no sooner begun than it’s over. ” “Lucky dog!” returned his companion; “ for my work is big gun long after it’s ore.”—[Tid Bits. BEGGARS. Jack—She is a wonderful girl. She simply beggars description. Tom—Well, description has my sympathy. She has beggared me too. FOB INSTANCE. Editor—Tho only way to succeed in the newspaper business is to give the people what they want. Friend—Have you got a |lO bill you can lot me have?—[Truth. SEVERAL FIBBEB. Snobbcr—Bah! There isn’t a single fibre of manhood about Wangley I Fitkins—You forget something. Snobbcr—l should like to know what? Fitkins—llis whiskers!—[Tid Bits. FOREIGN RELATIONS. Teacher—ls I wore cousin german to you, what relation to you would my father be?

Dick—Dutch uncle.—[Puck. A LEAF YEAR DREAM ENDED. “lam only clerk on a small salary,” ihe said, “but 1 can offer you a comfortable home if you can dispense with luxuries, Harold.” “1 am no ice cream fiend, ” he apswered coldly. “And can you forego soda water ?” “I never touch it.” “Nor candy ? ” “Mamma would never let mo acquire the candy habit,” he said, truthfully. “Sweet boy. But you love the theatre —the matinee.” “You forgot, I was raised in Boston.” “Oh, then, concerts are your only weakness. Darling, there is a symphony to-night. lam sure you would like to go.” “Yaas. If it does not keep in too late. Will you call for me, my Edct.h ?” “At a quarter to eight, precisely. You will be all ready, dearest ?" “Yaas. I never keep anyone waiting." Punctual to the hour Edith Marshmallow made her appearance and found her young lover ready for the evening. All except his gloves. These ho held in his hand. “I can put them on in the carriage,” he explained, “as wo go along.”* “Carriage!” shrieked Edith. “Did vou expect for one moment, Harold Smithlet, that I was to bring a carriage ? ” “And did you expect for one moment, Edith Marshmallow, that I was to walk ?” It was the bitter end of their romance, and each went on their—his—her—way, a wiser and a sadder man—and woman, —[Detroit Free Press. A CANDID OPINION, Civil Engineer (in search of data) —Is It not the opinion of many people in this locality that the excessive overflow of these bottom lands is due to the lock and dam system? Native (of Illinois River bottom)—l reckon! “Based on the fact that dams retard the velocity of the current and increase tho deposit of sediment in the river bottom, thus gradually elevating its bed?” “I guess that’s about hit.” “You have resided in this vicinity many years, have you not?” “Ever since I wuz a boy.” “May I ask if your theory coincides with that I have just suggested?” “Hey?” “As to the flooding of these bottom lands, I dare say you have an opinion concerning the cause of it?” “You bet I have.” “In your judgment, then, what is the cause?” “Rain.” [Takes another chew of plug tobacco and gazes away into vacancy as before.] —[Chicago Tribune. THE WORK WAS PERFORMED. Mr. Wildwest—You surely do not mean to say you’re English. Why, you don’t drop your h’s. Mr. Tewksbury-Podd—No; me valet attends to that for me.—[Truth. HE WEATnERED THE STORM. Chappie—Once I was in a terwible storm at sea. The waves wolled mountains high. Miss Pinkerly—Dear me, weren’t you afraid? Chappie—No, indeed. I was weal bwave. My sister was with me. OF THE PERIOD. "I think,” said Willie Washington, “that M ss Pepperton is a typical guhl of the perwiod, you know.” “Why?” “Because she puts a full stop to all my pwoposals of marwiage.”—[Washington Star. THE SECRET. Newly Graduated Physician—Doctor, as the field of my labors will be far removed from yours, would you mind telling me the secret of your success? Old Physician—The whole secret of a doctor’s success is to know just how long be can keep his patient from getting well without the patient becoming disgusted with his mode of treatment.—[Puck. GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT. Fiddleback—l hear, Miss Somerset that you spent several weeks in preparing your graduation essay. How was it received? Miss Somerset—Didn’t read it. after all. Fiddleback—What? Not read it! Pray, what was the trouble? Misss Somerset—My dress didn’t come in time.—[Cloak Review.

BAD ON HER FOLKS. Cora—l fear your associates are not always what they should be. Jake—Wlint do you mean? “I hear brother Fred and papa say they enjoy being with you very much.”—[New York Herald. t lIE WOULD. She (thinking of true love) —Would you marry for money ? He (remembering it was leap year)— Yes, if you have enough. WHERE TO FIND niS IDEAL. He—l’m looking for a girl who can bake a cake, a loaf of bread, or cook a meal; one who isn’t afraid to sew a button on, or soil her hands in a little housework. She—l should strongly advise you to try an intelligence office, Mr. Closeleigh. A DIFFERENCE. Do “ the birds come back to last year’s nests? ” Perhaps that is their lot. But the dollars in last summer’s vests Do not. __ , GOT WASHED. Mrs. Poastraw—You say you suffered in the recent floods ? Weary Wiggins—Yos’m. Got washed. Suffered horribly—[New York Herald. she was. • “You astonish me, madam! I never should have suspected you of being a smoker of cigarettes.” “I never touch them, doctor.” “Why,l understood you a moment ago to say you wore a victim of tho cigarctto habit.” “lam. My husband smokes them.” —[Chicago Tribune. nER SACRIFICE. Ho—Darling, if I give you such an expensive engagement ring wo can’t get married so soon. Sho—Never mind, dear. For your sake I can wait.—[Harper’s Bazar. SEVERE. She—l don’t beliovo you know tho meaning of the word “no.” Sho—l don’t—as girls use it. TRAVELLING IN AN ELEVATOR. Among others entering tho elevator at a well-known Fourteenth street dry goods establishment was a stout, determined looking Irish lady. She was carried up and down the elevator soveral trips, but evinced no disposition to get out at any particular department. The man in charge finally asked: “Madam, where do you wish to bo landed ?” “Lave me as near the Grand Central Daypo us ye can,” came the paralyzing response'. She was left.—[Texas Siftings. KNOlHin TO GO AROUND. “Charley Wicks has only one arm, has he not?” asked Maude. “Yes,” returned May; “but it's a long one.”—[Puck.

AROUND THE HOUSE.

Soda is the best thing for cleaning tinware; apply it with u damp cloth auu rub well, then wipe dry. Scratches and bruises may be taken from furniture by using the kernel of a walnut or butternut. Clean white sheepskin mgs by scrubbing with castile soap and water, drying thoroughly in the sun. Prick potatoes lief ore Baking srt that, the air can escape; this will prevent their bursting in the oven. Pickles or vinegar will not keep in a stone jar whieli has ever been used for lard or any other kind of grease. If the oven should he too hot at any time, place a pan filled with water in it, and the heat will be lessened. To test the freshness of eggs, drop them in a dish of water, and if the small end comes to tho top they arc fresh. If a shirt bosom or any other article has be< n scorched by ironing, lay it where bright sun will fall diroctly on it. It will take it entirely out.

Romance and Reality.

An American who had always had great curiosity concerning the inner mechanism of tho stately swan which conveys Lohengrin to his Elsa temporarily engaged himself as a supc while in Berlin in order to gratify his curisoity. As the scene for the opera was being prepared lie hastened to the spot to Investigate, but was accosted in most brusque and burly tones by the stage manager with. “Was wollen sie?” **Weg von hierl” Not at all disconcerted our knight of the spectates pulled forth from his pocket tne open sesame in the shape of a beer ticket. Immediately the countenance of the individual in charge changed, he pocketed the ticket and tho supe was allowed to investigate at his own sweet will. Our friend was disgusted when he suw that the route for the swan bearing the fair-haired Lohengrin was very plainly chalked out on the floor and the inner mechanism consisted of a thoroughly alive Berliner, who crept underneath the stately swan on all fours, crawling upon liis abdomen and moving his hands and feet like paddles. -He waited in that painful and uncomfortable positionwhile Lohengrin sang his beautiful solo, “Adieu, My Swan,” tho while turning the head of the swan from side to side with one disengaged hand. At the end of the aria the crouching Teuton, still on his abdomen, conveyed the graceful swan back to the land of the Holy Grail, emerging finally in a state of perspiration and stiffness and with a Adore of face verging U]>on apoplexy. - Our spectacled knight will never again hear the exquisite aria. His attention is chained to the movements of the swan, and he mentally sees the burly Berliner crawling painfully along the chalk line to the home of the Holy Grail. He has learned from experience that the bliss of ignorance is a liv’.ag reality.—[Kate Field’s Washington.

“Gum.”

There are several words in common use in the English language that came into it from the Egyptian—from the time of the dynasties long centuries before our era. One of these is gum. So far as the dictionaries tell, the word takes back to the Latin gummi, or the Greek Kommi. A curious Egyptian heiroglyph of the time of Queen Hatasou gives kemi-ent-anta—gum of incense. This Egyptian word carried into the Greek and Latin took on slight changes. It is the gum of the present day; the same as Isadora, a well-known feminine name, is from Isis—an Egyptian virgin goddess, mother of Horus—the whole word, meaning the “gift of Isis.” With such tenacity do the earliest words cling to life—so that the words used before the flood are on our tongues to-day coming down through all the nations, reigns, and ages.—[Davenport (Iowa) Democrat.