Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 June 1892 — Page 6

SljfiemofrfltifSfntincl RENSSELAER, INDIANA; • ~~ • . , ... 3. W McEWEN, - - - Publisher

MILK FOR THE MILLION.

THE PRODUCERS, SHIPPERS, AND DEALERS. Kotmble Facts About a Great City’s Milk Supply—Where It Comes From—flow It Is Tested and Sold—The Farmer and the Milkman. Chicago’s supply of Milk.

large a quantity as the whisky that is consumed. It means an expenditure of $6,000,000 for milk per year, which Is—excepting meat and Hour the largest single item of expense in the food bill. This, it may be mentioned, takes no account of condensed milk, although of that, too, several millions of cans are sold in this town. From all of which it may be gathered that the milk industry—the producing, shipping, and selling of it —is not to be sneezed at in point of magnitude and importance. Another significant fact—the consumption of milk is growing marvelously in Chicago, more than keeping step with the rapid growth in the city. A couple of years ago one railroad system —the Northwestern —brought 2,000,000 cans of milk to town per year and earned some $300,000 in freight on them. To-day the same road ships 4,000,000 eans and has increased its freight receipts on it correspondingly. “The fact that more milk per head Of population is consumed in Chicago than lormerly,” said E. D. Brigham, division freight agent of the Northwestern, who has charge of the milk business of the road, “is principally due to the better quality of the article, improving steadily all the while. And this again is due, in a measure at least, to the better organization of both producers and sellers of milk. By reason of it comparatively little milk of poor quality is sent here, and the practice is so much discouraged and pays so ba lly in tho long run that It may be hoped that at last it will be discontinued altogether. There is, of course, no way of preventing dishonest dealers from adulterating or deteriorating the milk after it has reached them here, but even in this respect it is true that ‘honesty is the best policy.’ " Where the Milk Comes From. Nearly all the milk we get here comes from within a radius of fifty to sixty miles, a belt of carefully cultivated

THE City MILK WAGON.

eountry in Northern Illinois and Southern Wisconsin The Dest and richest milk we drink is obtained from the dairy tarms that are thickly scattered all over the Fox River valley—a district which lor a number of years has borne a welldeserved reputation in this respect. On an average some 10,000 cans are shipped to Chicago every day in the year, but during the summer this rises to 12,000 cans and over, while in winter It frequently drops to 8,000. All these milk cans are of uniform size, each holding an even eight gallons, while in other cities these cans are of different sizes, those in New York, for instance, with a capacity of ten gallons. These eans are all owned by the farmers, each of them being compelled to keep two or three sets of them. And this, it may readily be conceived, represents quite a large sum of money. As a matter of fact, the milk dealers of Chicago, big and little, do business on the farmer’s capital, that capital being these identical milk cans. However, for the farmer the cost of these cans playß no very considerable part, even in the case of pretty large dairies, which send their twenty-five to forty cans of milk to town each day, while for the big milk dealer the expense would be a very large one, running into the thousands of dollars. Similarly, too, when cans begin to leak or are battered out of shape and become useless, the farmer has again to foot the bill, paying for the purchase of new cans and the repair of old ones. Thus we see once more that the farmer gets the worst of the bargain when dealing with thg shrewd city man. As for the cows which produce the great bulk of the milk we use they nearly all belong to a very common stock as cattle, experience having taught the dairy farmer who supplies our needs that the high-bred cattle, the ponderous Holstein, and the peaceful Jersey, are not so profitable to keep for milking

THE MILKING MAID.

purposes as the cheap animal of mongrel er uncertain breed. For they do not cost as much in the first place, are more hardy and give a larger average yield of milk for the amount of their keep than the more expensive cattle. And the mice he gets here for his milk from the dealer is regulated by the market. It is Bo more for Jersey milk, no matter how rich and creamy, than for the common, * ISrllln* to tfae Conrami-r. ‘ Tbs ikrger milk dealers In Cbloago

usually have laid out their business on such a plan as to divide the day into two trips. The first ono of those begins about 4a. m. and winds up at 10 a. m. Then, shortly after, tho milk train arrives with a supply of fresh milk from tho oountiy. Part of this is at onoe, after submitting it to the usual test, transferred to wagons and disposed of during the afternoon trip. The other half is taken to the milk depot and stored safely till tho next morning. This is done by standing tho cans in capacious vats lined with galvanized iron. Milk In Transit. Milk cars, expressly built for the purpose and best adapted for the shipping of the laoteal fluid over long distances, are used. These are very much like the ordinary baggage car, with a wide, sliding door on either side. As these cars are perched up, early in the morning, at the various milk stations along tho route of each milk branch, loaded with their wholesome, fresh freight, long milk trains are formed. On the Northwestern road—the one which truverses the richest dairv country and does by far the largest business in this line—there are, for example, two such enormous milk trains sent over the line each day. Either of these trains consists of seventeen cars and ono runs through the Fox river valley district, while the other taps the Wisconsin division line. When fairly under way, after leaving Huntley, for instance, 'or Crystal Lake, these milk trains scoot along at an enormous rate of speed, fully as fast as the limited express trails, at times running fifty miles per hour. A milk train thus seen flying through space is like a streak of bright, golden lightning, for each car is of a rich yellow hue. Contrary to popular belief, the violent motion of the cars does not injure the milk perceptibly.

VERY day in the year Chicagoans consume of fresh milk and cream an average of 80,000 gallons, which means 30,000,000 gallons ann ua 11 y, says tjie Herald. This is about four times as much as the ocean of beer thaUs drank up by i Chicago in the course of a year, ’and it is about thirty times as

There is no churning of It, in other words, but if otherwise delivered in good order, and if stored conveniently in the car, the milk arrives here in firstclass condition after a ride perhaps of fifty or eighty miles. To see to it, though, that the milk was in good form in the first place Is one of the chief points the dairy farmer has to look out for. After milking his cows in tho early morning, the farmer has to see to it that his milk Is at once placed In the cooling vats so as to thoroughly extract all the animal heat in the fluid. This process is a simple one, each can of milk being placed neck high In cool or cold water, and usually it requires but from twenty minutes to half an hour to -cool the milk sufficiently for shipment. Then each farmer, of course, has to see to it that hjs daily stock of milk Is taken to ,the depot so as to be In readiness for *the arriving milk train. On the way there, if the spn is hot. he has to shield his milk from the direot rays of the sun. At the larger milk stations, such as those named above, one or more milk cars are left over night at the depots, enabling the farmers to load their milk. The train is thus gradually made up, generally between 7 and 8 in the morning, and it arrives in town betwabn 10 and 11. Arriving In tho City. The system of distributing the milk after its arrival in town haß been nearly brought to perfection. The Northwestern Road, for instance, has no fewer than six milk stations within the city limits. These are located at Clybourn place, at Western avenue, at 12th street, at 16th street, at Clinton street, und at Indiana and Jefferson streets. Of these the two arge ones are tnose named

last, but just now the railroad company is remodeling the large milk depot at Indiana and Jefferson streets, transferring it one block north, to Erie and Jefferson, and considerably improving the facilities. The enormous milk platform now being constructed there is being specially built for the purpose. On the arrival of a milk train at any of these stations the platform is crowded with seventy-five, one hundred or more wagons, each waiting for its load of milk. From the big milk dealers a string of wagons each is present, while the smaller dealers have, perhaps, only one or two wagons there. Altogether there are just about an even 1,000 milk dealers in town. A few of these sell hundreds of cans daily to their patrons, one company alone 850 cans, or 2.800 j gallons. But the bulk of them, being I small dealers, are satisfied with ten ean6 l or less. Each can is properly marked j and labeled, so that no mistake can ocj cur as to its destination. On each milk town, however, there is a milk conductor, ! and his experience and skill materially assist in the task of assigning and de- | livering each lot of milk cans to the 1 proper consignees. There is, besides, ! an expert in ihe employ of the Northj western Road, who is the milk agent, ; and who supervises the unloading of I each milk train. The freight on all this | milk has to be paid by the farmer, i and to facilitate this part of the busii ness, milk tickets are sold to the farmers at stated rates, each ticket being for a can of regulation size. In thts way a great deal of time and bother is saved, both to the company and to the dairy farmer. These tickets are sold in quantities ranging from 100 to 50f at a time, according to the size of each customer's dairy. Another very material improvement, greatly facilitating the task of buying and selling milk in large quantities, is the establishment of the farmers’ associations. This is a properly organized

THE FOUNTAIN HEAD.

and Incorporated body of rallk-produc-ing farmers, comprising about 85 per oent. of the dairymen in the region whence Chicago draws her regular supply of milk. The paid officers of this association have charge of collecting the money due each member from milk dealers In this city for milk sent. Each farmer owns stock in this association and earh pays 5 cent* per can for collecting payment therefor. Local dealers who are found to be not reliable or slow in paying up are, quite naturally,

reported to the farmers’ association at largo and their career is thus cut short, at least so far as dealing with members of the association is concerned. Very extravagant notions are entertained on the part of the greqt public on tiie subject of .adulteration of milk. It is safe to sav that not nearly so much

LOADING THE MILK TRAIN.

of this sort of thing is practiced as Is generally supposed. However, fraud exists in this line, though it may be stated right here that by far a greater deal of it is practiced by the Chicago dealer than by the farmer who sends his milk to be used. The methods for testing milk have become generally known in Chicago of late yeats. and it is now known to be an

DISTRIBUTING THE “SMALL MILK" ON THE WAY TO THE DEPOT.

oasy master to determine, beyond any doubt, whether milk is pure and wholesome or whether some adulteration has been going on. Science has determined that pure milk contains an average as follows: Water, 87.41 per cent.; fat, 3.27; caseine, 4.06; milk sugar, 4.54; ash, .72. When less than 12.8 per cent, of the solids are found present in the milk, and less than 3.27 per cent, of fat, the conclusion is inevitable that the milk is of poor quality and probably has been tampered with. Whenever reported ovidence of adulteration is discovered as samples from one particular shipper the latter is informed of the fact and unless he mends his ways immediately he is dropped from the list of contributors for good. Some of tlm big milk dealers sell none other than pure, rich milk, while others dispose of all kinds of milk, from the best to the poorest. There aro dealers in town who purchase from the big firms large quantities of skim milk at2o cents per can, or at the rate of less a cent-per quart. They in turn sell this skim milk at 2 .cents per quart to the small consumers, thus more than doubling their investment. There are other dealers, though, who are unscrupulous enough to mix this skim milk with pure milk and then sell it at the regulation price of sor 6 cents per quart. In any event, whether skim milk is sold honestly for what it is or under a false flag, there is money in it to the dealer—big money.

As to prices in general, they aro high enough to yield the dealer who has a good milk route made up of paying customers, provided he handles his article carefully and pays due regard to temperature, weather, ice supply, etc., a certain and handsome profit. Th j dealer pays the farmer at the rate of $1.25 to $1.30 per can of eight gallons in winter, and about 80 cents in summer, thus putting his purchase price at from 2i to 4 cents per quart. He sells it to his customers in the shape of tickets, of which he will give sixteen per dollar during summer and fourteen during winter, or from 6 to 7 cents pqr quart.

An Ice-Breaking Ferry Boat.

The ice which forms in the Straits of Mackinac in the intensely cold winter of that latitude is so thick that navigation by ordinary vessels would be out of the question. But the transfer boat by which the passenger cars of the Duluth, South Shore and Atlantic Railroad are ferried across at that point is not an ordinary vessel by several shades of difference. It is of huge size and prodigious strength, ‘ and carries twenty-four steam engines for its various needs. Its bow hangs obliquely out so that it climbs on the ice and then pounds and crushes It, thft water being sucked from beneath by propeller blades to make the. operation more effectual, ft is often a cold day in the Straits, but the transfer boats never get left

A Philadelphia funeral team did service at a wedding a few clays ago, and the dozing driver allowed the horses to carry the bridal douple into a cemetery.

IN THE COOLINO-ROOM.

Grave Joke.

WONDERS OF A TORNADO.

Ctarlou* Things Wrought by Its Marvelous Force. I» Kansas they are telling a lot of most wonderful tales as to what was dope by the recent tornado. Here art some of the choicest: Xh Greenwood County a boy named Willie Henderson saw his home blown away,' and went to a cistern twelve feet deep for protection. There was about three feet of water In the cistern, and he sat on a lot of boards which he threw Into it. A tornado took the top off, took out all the water and the boy and carried him fully a hundred feet, where he was dropped, wet to the skin, but otherwise unhurt.

Charles Anderson, living near Towanda, heard a roaring and went to tho door to see what it was. As he oponed the door the storm struck the house and carried it away, leaving him standing in his night-clothes just where the house had been. It took the house from under his feet, and he says he never felt a breath of wind until after the tornado had passed and the force of the gale was again felt. A threshing-machine was standing by the side of a barn and the wind tore it to pieces. The boiler of the steam-engine was taken clear over the barn and dropped on the roof cf the house of James Donahue, crushing it in, and killing a child aged 6 and breaking Mrs. Donahue’s arm. The barn was untouched.

A cow, which was standing in a stable lot near Cherryvale, was carried up to the roof of a house and deposited in such a manner that it was impossible to get her down without killing her. The family of James Gibson were standing in their door watching the storm when they saw something come rolling down the street toward them. It looked like a log, but bent and twisted in such a way as to excite their curiosity, and as it was stopped in a gutter near their house they went out to make an investigation after the storm had passed. It was the body of a young woman who had been strippe'd of every stitch of clothing except one stocking, and it was only by this stocking that they were enabled to identify her. It was that of Miss Belle Merritt, who was considered the most beautiful young lady in this part of the country. She was so disfigured that no semblance of her former self remained. She was alive when found, hut died within a few hours without recovering consciousness. The family ot George Jackson sought shelter in a' cyclone cellar when the storm came up, but a big tree was thrown on the cellar and crushed through, breaking the arm of Mrs. Jackson. The stripping of chickens of their Heathers is reported from several localities, and several stories are told of the marvelous action of the tornado.

QUEEN’S GREAT-GRANDCHILD.

Little Lady Alexandra fluff. Whose Grandpa WIU Be Kins of England. This is a portrait, taken by her mamma’s permission, of little Lady Alexandra Duff, who has some chance of coming one day to the throne of Great Britain, says the New York Journal. This baby princess is the daughter of the Duke of Fife and Princess Louise, eldest daughter of the Prince and Princess of Wales. She is said to look remarkably like her august great-grandmother, Queen Victoria. The little personage is descended on both sides from our old friend George 111., who was obliged to give us up on account of a slight difference in views on taxation. The pedigree of her father Is traceable back through Lady Agnes Ilay, who married the earl of Fife, to Elizabeth Fitz Clarence, wife of the sixteenth earl of Errol and daughter of the duke of Clarence and Mrs. Jordan by whom

LADY ALEXANDRA DUFF.

he had ten children but whom he could not marry because he was a royal person. The duke of Clarence was afterward William IV. Lady Alexandra looks as if she meanV to have a grand time in the world and if royalty holds out, no doubt she will. She is already “patroness” .of a charitable work. If Prince George of Wales should die childless, and she should outlive him, the throne will he hers.

How Hayes Became a Millionaire.

Ex-President Rutherford B. Hayes, of Ohio, was recently in Norwich, Conn., which was the home of his Burchard ancestors from whom he received his given names. He is said to have had for his mission the discovery of facts with reference to the Burchard lineage, which he has long desired to possess but could not obtain without a visit to the Nutmeg town. President Hayes has been so quiet in his life since he left the presidential office in 1880 that very few people know that he is a wealthy man and possibly even a millionaire. The uncle after whom he was named left him large tracts of real estate in the city of Toledo, which is only a short distance from Fremont, where he has always made his home, where he practiced law and where he enlisted In the United States army. The growth of Toledo had made this property worth from $300,000 to $400,000 as early as 18T6, when he entered the. white house, but it was not; an Income paying- property to any large extent until within the la**- t*n nr.

twelve j’ears. The growth of Toledo and a aeries of Improvements, including the construction of buildings for business and residence purposes, has in that time about doubled the value of the property.—Yew York Press.

MARK WELL THIS MAN.

He la Felix McGlennon, and Is the Author of “Comrades.” A good deal of popular interest has been excited in this country recently regarding the authorship of a number

FELI[?] M’OLEKNOS.

beneath criticism, they have obtained enormous sales, and have done much to lighten the cares of millions of persons. Therefore, it can be said truly that Felix McGlennon, author of the songs referred to with titles, and of hundreds of other popular songs, is a public benefactor. This young man—he is only 33 years old—is a resident of London. He was born in Glasgow of Irish parentage. He is thoroughly domestic in his tastes and habits, and he possesses a modesty which has not been impaired by his extraordinary successes. He has extraordinary facility in the creation of popular songs. He has occasion frequently to compose an air in the short space of five minutes. He has reduced song writing to a science. Curiously enough", like Stephen Foster, the late Charles A. White, and other noted composers of popular songs, he has a very limited knowledge of the theory of music. He cannot play on any musical instrument. He manages to pick out with his right hand, on the piano, the air of his inspirations, and often composes twenty or thirty songs a week.

That McGlennon has a very comfortable income may be gathered from the fact that Frank Tousey, the Yew York publisher, has paid him no less than $2,000 during the past two months for American copyrights. “Mock Not the Old aud Feeble” has yielded Mr. McGlennon for the American rights not less than S3OO. He has received, besides, sums varying from SBO to $250 each for a dozen other compositions in manscript, including two comic songs that are sung by Johnny Carroll and Harry Kernell, entitled “I Handed It Over to Kiley.” and “He Came, or the Unwelcome Guest,” and several other unpublished works prepared for Mr. Hoey, of the Parlor Match Company, Tony Pastor, Maggie Cline, and others. The popularity of this prolific writer’s productions is indicated by figures of the sales of eight songs, aggregating nearly four million c opies, sold in England and America: “Comrades" 1,000,000 “That I s Love" , 850,000 “Oh, What a Difference In the Morning" .;. 7r0,C00 “His Funeral’s To-morrow" soo.ouo “I’ve Worked Eight Honrs This Day"... 400,000 “Woman, Lovely Woman" 1 “You Know a Thing or Two" > 350,000 “Mock Not the Old and Feeble" ) Total 3,850,000

Baby and Collie.

A gentleman in southern Connecticut not long ago brought homo a collie dog, which, after the fashion of its kind, soon made itself one of the family, and,assumed special responsibilities in connection with the youngest child, a,little girl three years of age - jii One day the gentleman, returning from a drive, as he neared the house noticed the dog in a pasture separated from the road by a stone wall. From behind this wall the collie would spring up, bark, and then jump down constantly repeating the performance. The man left his horse and went to the spot. There he found his little girl seated on a stone, with the collie keeping guard beside her. The intelligent animal wagged his tail, and barked his delight at seeing his master. In the light snow the path taken by the child and dog could be plainly seen, and as the father traced it back he saw where the little girl had walked several times around an open well in the pasture. Close to the brink were prints of the baby shoes, but still closer, on the very edge of the well, were the trackg of the collie, which had evidently kept between her and the well. The faithful creature seemed to know that upon him lay the responsibility of keeping the child from a terrible death.

The Deadly Green Drink.

The fundamental principle of absinthe is a resinous substance derived from wormwood. This resin, with a number of essences made from aromatic plants, constitutes the famous French drink, which is so poisonous that a tablespoonful in a pure state is almost certain to cause convulsions to an inexperienced drinker, says the St. Louts Globe-Democrat. It is believed by physicians that the brain disease which absinthe produces is absolutely incurable, for the substance of the brain is changed by the poison, and after the absinthe drinker has accustomed himfelf to his daily dose a fatal termination is a matter of no long time.

Cheap and Superior Gas.

Parties in Pennsylvania have for some time past been producing a gas for illuminating purposes, the quality of which they claim is far superior for the use named than any other now made, and can be manufactured at about one-half the cost. The result is reached by means of a feeder and a number of letorts, the latter being kept at a certain d%rce of heat, and the oil is forced through them into a tank which is kept full of water. By means of this simple arrangement the desired object is attained, the gas is formed by the contact of the heated oil and water, and from this tank passes on to another—the supply tank—ready for consumption. Tiie suicides and defalcations in Berlin ought to warn Kaiser Wilhelm that Germany is overstrained. But will he be wise in time?

of popular songs, including “Comrades,” “That Is Love,” “Oh,What a Difference in the Morning!” and others of a similar character. Although, to the .highly critical “musical mind, these songs are

The last language into which the New Testament has been translated is the Motu language of New Guinea, the latest tribe to become English subjects. ' A St. Louis man burst a blood vessel trying to pronounce the word “Pantechnicon. ” St. Louis society is organized on a one-syllable basis.

A MAN-EATINC OYSTER.

(t 1* Six Feet Ln( and Idea In Walt for the Pearl-Divers. “Your wealthy ladies of Chicago who assemble at evening parties and soirees In magnificent costumes covered with fine pearls know little or absolutely nothing, perhaps, about the many dangers encountered in gathering those pearls from the sea,” remarked J. G. Danvers, of London, England, at the Tremont House yesterday, says the Chicago Herald. “I was on a trip along the coast of Zanzibar, Africa, a year ago, when I learned that sea-pearl fishing is not a trade for men of weak hearts to follow. The pearls are gathered at the bottom of the sea by divers. The reason a man with a weak heart is not fit for the work is because the stopped breath and the pressure of ninety feet of* sea water, with its weight of six-ty-two pounds to the cubic foot, will bring on palpitation of the heart and burst the weaker vessels, causing distressing and often dangerous hemorrhages. But the divers are all stalwart savages, in such rugged health that the physical danger never occurs to them.

“Two dangers constantly menace the diver. Wherever the oyster grows there also thrives the giant tridachna, a monstrous bivalve, whose shell is from four to six feet in length, firmly anchored to the bottom. It lies with its scalloped shells yawning a foot or more apart. Immediately anything touches it the shells snap together, and once these large shells are closed not a dozen men out of water could get them apart, far less the single diver, fifteen fathoms deep, who may have dropped into the capacious mouth or have carelessly put his hand within its shells while groping in the gloom. “If such a fate befall a diver there is only one thing for him to do, and that is to amputate himself from the enormous mollusk and rise to the surface, fainting, bloody, and mangled. Those savages will fight anything from a lion to a python on land, but they haven’t the courage to run against a bivalve under ninety feet of water and stand the chance of those yawning shells closing in on an arm or a leg and crushing the bones to splinters. “If the monstrous mollusk should close down and catch the diver’s head, of course he would never know what killed him. Ilis head would be mashed to a pulp, and it would go off as if severed by a guillotine. I saw only one native who had been caught by one of these molluSks. It had closed down on his left hand, and the only thing he could do as the monster held him in its grip was to cut off the left arm at the elbow joint.”

Woke Him Up and Accepted,

She was a convalescent from la grippe and as she leaned back in the depths of her easy-chair she played with the roses in her lap, which had been brought to her by the first caller she had been able to receive, and smiled over some stories he was telling her of a summer aW-well, we’ll only say at a fashionable watering place on . Yarragansett Bay, 6ays the Boston Saturday Evening Gazette. “One of the beauties whom I used to see at the Casino,” said he, “was a young married belle about 23 or 24, J should think, and her husband wka about 60, and it was great fun watching them. “There was such a good story, bona fide truth it was, too, about their engagement. He called at her home one evening, and offered his heart, hand and fortune in correct style. Pretty Miss Budd said: 'She must ask mamma,’ and coyly tripped upstairs to mamma, who told herfth'at every girl did not get such a chdhce as that, and of course she was to accept him. “Down she went, picturing the ardent lover awaiting her return with anxious, throbbing heart, and found the old gentleman comfortably asleep in the biggest armchair, while an occasional snore attested to the depth of his slumbers.” “I hope she didn’t wake the poor old thing up,” said the convalescent, when she got her breath again after her laugh. “Oh, yes, she did. Catch her losing that chance! She woke him up and told him it was all right and she’d have him. *

He Has Seen Many People.

A man who has seen many interesting people in his life is J. B. McMichael, of Decatur, 111. He is a Scotchman and 92 years old. He is in perfect health and always has been, for he has never taken a dose of medicine nor visited a doctor. He has seen every President from John Adams to Ben Harrison, served in the Black Hawk war under Lincoln and with Jeff Davis, helped to organize the Republican party, voted for Fillmore and went to the Philadelphia Convention as a delegate. He was a personal friend of Lincoln’s, saw him breathe his last, and was accidentally at the depot when Guiteau shot Garfield. He saw Mrs. Suratt hung, saw the ashes of the barn where Boston Corbett shot Booth, has seen fifty-four men hung and four women executed, but is not in favor of capital punishment. He saw Lovejoy murdered at Alton, 111., on November 9, 1837, and he himself came near having both legs shot off for being a black abolitionist. He carries bullet marks on his limbs and head. In his lifetime McMichael has lost a fortune, but now has a competency acquired by engaging in tree culture and fruit raising.

Barn-Yards.

Barn-yards are bad leaks In farm management. Thousands of loads of manure are wasted in them from constant exposure to sun, wind, and rain. And yet the farmers endure them just as though there was no remedy. Manure is needed on most farms more than anything else, and yet nothing is wasted with more readiness.

Translating the Scriptures.

OUR BUDGET OF FUN

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINQS HERE AND THERE. Jokes and Jok.l.t* that Are Supposed to i, * T * Been Recently Bora' Sayings and Doings that Are Odd. Curious and Laughable. What Made His Tongue Slip. Gazzam—That was a bad slip of the tongue on Hunker’s part. Maddox—Yes, he had just eaten a banana.—Judge. The Difficulties of Cerbertuk First head—l say. The other two—What? H.—l see a friend of- mine coming. If you two don’t object I’d like to wag our tail.—Life. Some Assistance. The visitor had found Mr. Ardup at last and sat down to recover his breath. “I should think It would make you awfully tired,” he said mopping his forehead with his hankerchief, “to climb all these flights of stairs. Why don’t you get a room nearer the ground floor?” “It wouldn’t make you feel so tired to climb them,” answered Mr. Ardup gloomily, “if you had as many creditors pushing you as I’ve got.” Poor FeUow, The man has “more than a dish to wash,* Who Is tryinsj to look his best, "With a this year’s pair of trousers on. And a last year’s coat and vest. —Smith, Gray & Co.’s Monthly.

Curious to Know. Shawber—What do you think of my new picture, old man? Singerly—Pretty fair. How many (puff) of these cigars did you get with it?—Detroit Fiee Press. A Useless Tip. Waiter (to guest who has just finished a cheap meal) —Haven’t you forgotten something, sir? Guest—Oh, yes; here’s a tip; it’s the one I lost on at the races this afternoon.—Brooklyn Eagle. Could’nt Endure Him. “Is Mary happy with her new husband?” “Yo.” “I thought he was perfect. ” “He is. That’s the trouble.”— Judge. Matrimonial Amenities. “Even the grip has its good points,” said pretty Mrs. Jones. “It’s apt to make a charming widow of one. ” “Well, -it’ll never make a charming widow of you,” said her grumpy husband; “I’d cut my throat before I’d let it do that. ” —Exchange. Then He Understood. “Browning, dear,” said Mrs. Emerson, of Boston, to her husband, “what is a cutaneous pastime?” “A cutaneous pastime, love? I never heard of such a thing.” “Well, I heard two men on the street car talking, and one of them spoke of a skin game.”—Judge. ’ An Unquestioned Insult.

Parson—Are you of ago? Giddy bride—*YCs. • I—— Parson—Excuse me. I was questioning the young man. Giddy bride (indignantly)—Come, Hen. I hain’t goin’ to stand here an’ be insulted, if I never get married! —Puck. A Good Doctor t«o Employ. “There goes Dr. Penman. Verj few of his patients die suddenly." “Indeed! Skillful man?” “Skillful with the pen. Writes his prescriptions so legibly that the druggists’ clerks can always make them Out.”—New York Press. Ho Didn’t Use It. Kansas Granger (to bookseller) — “Say, mister, I want a vollum of po’try; some good, old-fashioned po’try. None of yer new-fangled trash. ” Polite Bookseller “Ah, perhaps you would like a Chaucer!” Granger—“No, thankee; I don’t use the weed.” —Smith, Gray & Co.’s Monthly. Preposterous. Tailor—l’ve come in to collect the bill for your last year’s spring suit, sir. Howell Gibbon—Yes. But I can’t wear that suit another year. Tailor—W'hat’s that got to do with it? Howell Gibbon—How am I going to pay for it when I’ve got to get another suit? —Puck. Boon There. Binks—l got a sure tip on the race yesterday. Minks—That so? How much did you lose?—Exchange. The Closer the Hotter. “Do 1 crowd you too close?" asked a handsome young man in jin overloaded car. “Oh, dear, no, sir,” replied the grateful girl, who was 28 and had had never had a beau. —Judge. How Nature Apportions. “He hardly seems bright enough to run a paper.” ; “Oh, pshaw! he doesn’t run it—he owns it.”—Puck.

Playing Cards.

Dr. Rudolph Lothan, of Vienna, says this year “is the fifth century of the playing card.” He says the first game of cards ever played was Tarok or Naili; in which every card was symbolic of “a phase ofTife, nrdegree of knowledge, or one of the powers ruling human existence. ” One of the pasteboards was named *ll Miserp,” doubtless our knave, and was easily involved in all sort of unpleasant complications. Tarok has been reviled in Paris, where the season for novelties is so relentlessly prosecuted, even'at the expense of the old