Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 June 1892 — Men and Women. [ARTICLE]

Men and Women.

A dress does not make a woman, but. often breaks a man. Why are blushes like girls? Because they become women. You can easily fill the public eyes 11 you can only have the dust. A man is as old as he feels, but not always as big, not by a heap. The best time to keep awmy from some people is when you are in trouble. A bachelor is a man who never ha 9 to answer questions he does not want to answer. Wearing wigs and dying whiskers never deceives anybody but the people who do it. Don’t make father a bugbear to the children by threats of what he’ll do when he comes home. Pot two doors side by side and the small boy will be sure to go through the one that squeaks. “A bore,” says a witty cynic, “is the man who talks of himself when I want to talk of myself.” In society it is never “good afternoon.” It is “good morning" up to 6 o’clock, and after 6 it is “good evening.” A miss is as good as a mile. This is probably why a man doesn’t feel the distance when he’s got a nice girl with him. A “camel” and “beauty” are synonymous in Arabic. An Arab widow generally mourns her husband with the cry of “O, my camel!” Whatever accounts a man may have to settle with the recording angel, he cannot be held responsible for what is said in his obituary. The shoemnking business in California is controlled almost entirely by Chinese. Fully 10,000 Chinese are employed in such labor. The man in the choir may have more drawing power than the man in the pulpit, but the tenor of the talk of the latter is more edifying than the talk of the tenor. Kivers: “What do you think of that story that a pug nose can be straightened out by lying on one’s face when in bed?” Banks: “I think it’s a lie on the face of it. ” Mrs. Hattie Day, of East Buckport, Me., has sold S3O worth of braids made from her own hair, and yet she has abundant black tresses three feet in length. Jones —“What did your wife say when you got home last night?” Smith—- " What did she say? My dear fellow, it would take me three hours to tell you half of what she said. ” “My daughter delicate!” exclaimed Mrs. Moneybags the other day. “Who. could have started that story? You just tell people she’s very indelicate, and tell 'em her mother says so.” The work of extending woman’s field of labor goes merrily on. At Harvey’s Bench, near Salmon City, Idaho, six sisters have, for some time past been regularly carrying on the business of stage robbing. It is estimated that the time wasted by women in looking under beds for men at night, if devoted to work, would result, in a year’s time, in'making over seventeen thousand suits of clothes for the heathen.” Wife: “Do you really think that marriage is a lottery?” Husband: “No, I do not." Wife (somewhat surprised): “Why don’t you?" Husband: “Because when a fellow has drawn a blank he can’t go and buy another chance."