Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 April 1892 — Scissored Smiles. [ARTICLE]

Scissored Smiles.

Preacher—Every man must some day settle hisaccount with his Maker. Tailor—l wish you could impress young Sapmind with that idea. He hasn’t settled with me in about a year and a half.—Boston Courier. “Ever notice how naturally military men drift into speculation?” “Oh, yes. Take our old friend, Col. Lateral, for instance.” Journal. Mrs. Snaggs was bewailing the fact that she had no library. “Look at me, my dear,” said Snaggs, swelling up with pride, “am not I a whole library, including dictionary and encyclopedia?” “Yes,” answered his wife, looking at him discontentedly; “bound in calf.” —Detroit Free Press. How happy is the humble man Who has a cheap umbrella. That ne'er excites the envy of Some sneaking, thievish fellow. She—“ You know, Doctor, that my husband is very much opposed to my going away. Do you think (anxiously) I wiU be ill enough to go to Europe?” The Doctor (doubtfully)—“That's pretty hard to tell.” She—“ You Know I want to make certain of it. Perhaps you had better call a few more times.” Fntyr Young Woman—“ Mabel is writing for a magazine.” Second Young Woman (jealous)—“Well, H she incloses the subscription price I have no doubt she will get it.”— Washington Star. The Youth—“l love you fondly.* The Boston Girl—“ Let me feel you: pulse. You do not object to mv making a scientific analysis, do you?'