Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 April 1892 — Page 4 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

A RICE trust has been formed in this country. The Chinese must go! Were Diogenes alive he would be glad to learn that the man honest enough to return $93,000 to its owner is in the bath-tub business. An Englishman is going to swim the Niagara rapids clad in swimming trunks. It seems a pity to waste a good pair of trunks this way. Kentucky produces nearly all the hemp raised in this country, and. naturally, capital punishment is there administeresl after the old style. i Chicago should hurry up and jug her “boodle” aidermen. They will be an attraction for the World’s Fair if they are not permitted to escape. The story of the existence of a ribbon trust may have been started by an exasperated husband who couldn’t fnd the exact shale his wife wanted, — <- *• - A certain Mr. Twogcou is a can- . didate for office in Leavenworth, Kan. A man that can live up to a name like that should never run for office. - i If you want a f.id. see if you can't talk less. Everyone talks to J much. And when you do talk, talk well. Here are two fads that will do you some good. There is a source of some amuse- ; ment in watching a game of bluff be- i tween two countries that realize ■ more clearly than any other the folly I of going to war. John L. Sullivan —but hush! Why speak of him again? Besides, he has expressed a determination to hold paragraphers who jeer at him personally liable. Navy officers complain that' the \ white paint chosen for war vessels I has only the one good quality of look- . ing pretty. What else are United States war vessels for? There have been charges to the j effect that some of Rev. T. De Witt Talmage’s sermons are not original, but no man has had the hardihood to claim Mr. Talmage’s gestures. That British animal is still carelessly leaving his tail with the tip projecting over the Canadian border. He is earnestly advised to coil it up beneath him and firmly sit on it. It is a pity the plan of campaign of the Parisian anarchists cannot spread to America. Exploding dynamite under government buildings would be regarded as a venial sin in Chicago. Dr. Parkhurst has begun writing about the New York dives for a newspaper syndicate. The early ap pearance of' this much-advertised divine upon the stage may now be looked for.

A new professor at the Chicago University says he has been promised the interest on $500,000 wherewith to iisseminate political science. Lively interest is felt by local politicians as to the ward in which he will spend it. Ben Butler says he wants to see the American flag waving from the north pole. No doubt he does, and horn every other pole, stick, city hall, little red schoolhouse, and fourth-class postoffice. Ben has a monopoly of the bunting business and likes to see trade boom. According to an advertisement a tuiLive East Indian impersonator appeared in a Chicago church “in gorgeous pinless, hookless, and butt nless costumes abounding with humor and pathos.” No one will question the pathos of a costume with all the buttons off, but few men cun see any humor in it. The ancient and erstwhile honorable duello gets its most decided setback when a brave man declines to accept a challenge. The well-known Southern lawyer and orator, Mr. John 8. Wise, of New York, being implicated in a teapot tempest now raging in that city’s Southern colony, says be won’t fight. Mr. Wise, being reckoned a brave man, has thus given the “code” a violent kick, and deserves the applause of all friends of civilization North and South.

The grateful Russians who received the cargo of grain sent by charitable Americans for the relief of the fam.ne have been showing their gratitude oy presenting a splendid antique silver tea service to the captain of the Missouri, who brought them the grain safe and sound. Now it happens that the Missouri is a British ship, and that Captain Finlay, who sails her, is a British captain, and he gets all the eloquent thanks which the Russians meant for their American friends. ________ The New York Sun exults that no bombs are made in that tows, and -avers that it would be a more dangerous business for the makers there (han in Chicago, because la New York “the law has a searching eye and a heavy hand.” It has been five years since a bomb has exploded in Chicago, but the bombardment of Russell Sage and the explosion in the vicinity of the house of the Rev. Lyman Abbott in Brooklyn are recent evidences of a certain myopia in the “se arching eye" of Gotham officers. Since the first of March the price (4 American beef in the English