Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 April 1892 — OUR BUDGET OF FUN [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR BUDGET OF FUN

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. Jokaa and Joka'eti that Ara Supposed to Bare Boon Kecenlly Horn- Saylnc» aad Doing* that Ara OdA Curious aad >-aughabla. Socialism Dlscunsed. Barkeeper—You believe in a general division of property? Socialist—Yes, that's my idea. “And your mOtto is that property is robbery?” “Precisely. ” “Then it there is a general division of property the socialist who takes any of .the property is a receiver of stolen, goods, and in this case the receiver is worse than the thief*.— Texas Siftings. Theory and Practice. He was reading aloud the family circle and laid down tne paper to emphasize what he had just read. “I believe with the writer of that sentiment that singing should.be taught Io a child as soon as it can speak—Good heavens! What is that awful noise in the next room?” “That is the baby singing,” said his wife. And he went to the club to finish the article he was reading.— Detroit Press. Sand. Teacher of Physiology—What ingredient which is highly essential in the composition of the human body does sugar possess? Pupils (in one voice) —Sand.— Pharmaceutical Era. A Home Product. Glanders—‘Did I understand you to say that the lady to whom you presented me last night , was a duphess?” Gummey—“Yes, a genuine duchess from Dutchess Coupty, New York.” —Jester. By Meieupary I’m full of hish a»»bitloq, .And seek—l may be ra-»h—« Not the pluuuiu of posterity. But contemporary cush,—Pack I-earnkug Appreciate)!. Cultivated Stranger—“ You advertise for a man who can speak twentysix languages?” Mr. Gotham—“ Yes, sir. The position is st ii.l open.” “May I ask concern img the matter of its duties?” “Certainly. I own considerable property in New York and I want a man to collect the rents.”—New York Weekly. Just Bonds—That’s AIL De Hash—l presume pjptty soon you will compel me to give bonds to keep the peace. Mrs. De Kash —Why, what on earth do you mean? < De Kash (shelling out) —Oh, just government bonds, that all.—New Yurk Herald. Shows Wretched Tatbte. “Boss, can’t .you gimme a dime to get a meal?” “1 can, but I shall not. I have no money to squander ih administering to your depraved appetite.” “But, honest, Boss, I want to buy a meal with it.'” “Exactly. And if eating a 10-cent meal is not evidence of a depraved appetite I do not know whatus.”—ln-, dianapolis Journal. A Sure Thing 1 . Sparkle—Your sister is wearing one of Miss Pinkie’s rings. I wish you would get it for me. I want to take the measure. Going to buy an en-gagement-ring, you know. Barkle —Eh? Has. Miss- Pinkie- accepted you? Sparkle—She- will when 1 propose. Lasts night she asked me how I liked her mother.—New York Weekly. Amei-lcun 1-a.ihion.

Rick Donovan—Vis, thim pants are too short, sure. Israel Moses—Not at all, min® frendt. Here is der fashion-blate. I vill piit der siisbenders on der bottom free ov sharge.—Judge. Ikying l igure*. “George, what were you doing down-town last night until after 12 o’clock?” “What was I doing? Why, my dpar, I was in the.office balancing up the books. I worked there till I could hardly see. My head is just full of figures yet. « “Your head full of figures? Figures! Oh, you are mistaken, George. Figures don’t lie, you know.”—Texas Siftings. A Welcome* Sound. ' -• . He—Dear Miss May, would it be too much trouble to ring for a glass of water? She—Don’t mention it, Mr. Staylong. I wish I had a bottle of ginger ale to offer you. He—lsn’t it too early in the season, don’t you think? She—But it would be so refreshing • to hear it pop—Detroit Free Press. • In some lowly;organized worms are found greed bodies, which seem to be identical' with the green substance of plants enabling them to absorb carbon from the air when basking in the sunshine, but it may be these green bodies are merely vegetable parasites which finally secure a place of abode in the skin of the worm and in return manufacture food for Nature teems to have tricks of trade which are almost past finding out. A Honesdale, Pa., lady has a full set of carpenter’s tools, which she uses with remarkable skill in making useful and ornamental articles for her a Tull set of chairs being among the. productions of her mechanical -gentuz .