Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 April 1892 — Page 6

EljclltinorrnticStntinel RENSSELAER, INDIANA. J. W. McEWEN, ... Puiushek

ALASKA AND THE SEAL.

EPOCHS LEADING TO THE BEHRING SEA MUDDLE. / Uncle Sam’s Northernmost Possession—lts Discovery by Russia and Subsequent Pure has by the lulled States The Trouble with F.nc’and.

brought thousands of to rists to its beautiful waterways, ancl.it is difficult to believe it is still a terra incognita to the great majority of our couhirymen.

But somehow tha very name is so suggestive of wintry wastes pnd arctic silences, of great ice-floes and towering icebergs floating upon lAnely seas, that even among persons of great information it is only a geographical expression, bestoyved upon an isolated domain, and covering butjittle space upon the extreme northwest portion of the maps of North America, without any regard to the.scale by which the other Statts and Territories are delineated.

In reality it is a colossal domain, ; nearly as large as all of the United i States lying east of the Mississippi River, or three times as large as Frarice>| So vast is it, so varied its climate, its productions, and its native people, that the ■ description of portions of it as compared with others is like telling of countries widely separated. Here is a giant territory belonging to the United States, exlending more than l,(0!t miles from north to south, whose area emb: a -es nearly 6OoA>‘K’ square miles, whose coast lice, washed by the waters of the' Pacific Ocean, stretches from latitude 54 degrees 40 minutes to Point Barrow tn the Arctic, which holds within its , boundaries probably the mightiest river j la the world, for it is entirely within the bounds of honest statement tos:y that the Yukon River, the vast deltoid mouth of which opens into Norton Sound of Behring Sea, dischatges every hour onethird more water than the Mississippi. Also Mount St. Elias, whose estimated altitude, 19,500 feet, makes it the monarch of all mountains on this continent. . VitUs Behring was a native of Denmaffi, who entered as a Captain the newly termed navy of. Peter.the Great. His known ability and daring displayed in the wars with Sweden ded to his being appointed to conduct a Voyage of discovery in th; Sea of Kamchatka. Ide crossed the continent from St.-Pfeters- ( burg to Kamchatka, where he superin-' tended the < onstruction of a vessel which was named the Gabriel. In July, 1728, he sailed in this vessel to the north and east, discovering the island of St. Lawrence, which he named in honor of the saint on whose day it was discovered. He continued northward until he reached what ho ■ upposed was the northeastern extremity of Asia, and was satisfied that the two continents were separated by the sea. Returning to St. Petersburg after passing through the sea and straits whic h bear his name, with the fixed opinion that there was a large body of land to the eastward, he aroused the spirit of discovery and induced his government to continue the explorations. Again in 1733, with a commission of Admiral iftid under the auspices of the Russian gov-

ernment, he repeated the journey across the desolated wastes of Siberia, and in June, 1741, get sail upon the voyage fatal to film, but fruitful with great iuture results. In July of that year he sighted the American Continent at 50 degrees north latitude, On tfiig voyage he also discovered the Komandorski group or couplet. On the largest of these, now bearing his name, he was shipwrecked and died Dec. 10, 1741. But an indomitable spirit of enterprise anddiacoyery had been awakened among the Bussian people, and almost Immediately traders, hunters, and ad- . venturers made their way from island to island, until the whole Aleutian chain, and with, it the main land of Alaska, .were discovered. In 1768 two captains of the imperial navy, Krenitzen and Levashoff, sailed from Kamchatka in two government vessels. The former passed the succeeding winter at Kadiak. the latter at Unalaska. The land and the sea were alike the habitats of an immense number of valuable far-bearing animals, and stimnhtoii ly fin grost jinrftt" to toe derived by a trafik’in aktns ecpsdttions were nonsfsgffy flftc i 1 out V the ports along ths nhnris of tbs Bsa of Okotste and the

mouth of the Amoor River,’ for voyages of trade and exploration in the new country. It has been estimated that no less than twenty-five different companies with quite a fleet of small vessels were thus employed as early as 1772. Under the auspices of tljeso companies many of the inlets and islands and much of the main land were explored and settlements established. In 1786, a Russian named Gerhman Pribylov, sailing from Unalaska in a small sloop called the "St. George,” discovered'the islands which bear his name, located in the heart of the Behring Sea, and now farfamed as the cnly seal rookeries in the known world. Alaska was ceded to the United States in 1867. By the treaty of cession Russia conveyed to our government all iis sovereignty over Alaska and the waters thereof. The United States paid $7,200. (01 for the territory. Previous to the purchase a San lra:cisco syndicate i offered $lO/00,'0) for the domain, but i for diplomatic reasons the Russian Government did not accept the offer. This ' place i the United States in the position i originally occupied by Russia,'and guar- ■ anteed to it all the rights that pertained ito that imperial government. Russia’s ; claim to absolute dominion over Alaska and the Behring sea was based upon discovery, conquest and settlement. The geography of the country demonstrates ind.sputably to the careful studept that ! the Behring Sea is a land-locked ocean. Immediately after the transfer a corporation was organized in San Francisco, known as the Alaska Commercial Company. Many of its stockholders were

*ic Land. HERE is the most profound ignorance prevalent regarding Alaska generally. The territory is the ultima t h ulo of northern travel upon the American continent. It is a land of furs and fish, of gold and glaciers, of mist and mystery. The summer seasons of recent years have

A DROVE ON THE ISLAND.

men occupying high positions in the world of finance and politics. To this corporation a lease was given by the Secretary of the Treasury of the seal islands located in the Behring Sea for a period of twenty years, with the privilege to kill, under certain restrictions, 10(1,000 fur seals annually. In consider-, ation of this lease and the privileges and' protection guaranteed to it, the company agreed to pay as rent $55,000 annually, and In addition to this amount $2.64 for each skin taken, the Government guaranteeing them protection in the pursuit of their business and what amounted to an absolute monopoly of the immense fur trade of the Western ocean. For the further protection, and in the interests of this corporation, a law was enacted by Congress in 1868 prohibiting the killing "of any mink, sea otter, sable, fur seal, or any other fur-bearing animal within the territory of Alaska or the waters thereof.” Under this arrangement the company and its stockholders reaped a golden harvest and the treasury of the United States obtained an immense revenue. From the lease tithe Alaska Commercial Company of the Pribyioff Islands, two small barren rocks in Behring Sea, and designated in the map as St. Paul Isle and St. George

Isle respectively, the United States Treasury received nearly $8,000,000. Under the present lease of the same property the revenue derived by our Government would be more than SI,OOO,-

SKINNING SEALS.

000 annually; that is, providing the lessee is able to take the maximum number allowable—loo,ooo skins each year.

Very few Americans are famUiar with the causes leadiag,up to diffiaulty, which alight have bedn prophesied when.

SEALING BCHOONER UNBDER SAIL.

the Hutted States purchased Alaska from Russia. Up to that time that part of the North Pacific Ocean, north of the Aleutian chain of islands and ex-

PACIFIC OCEKM

BEIIHING SEA AND PIUBYLOJT ISLANDS, tending northward to the Behring Straits, was recognized as an Inland sea. The Czar of Russia jealously regarded it as such. The Aleutian chain,as will be seen from the map illustrated here, forms an almost complete land boundary to the southern limit of the Behring Sea. These Islands were included in the purchase. England, from (ho first, held the Behring Sea to be neutral waters. She took a more decided stand as her northwest possessions began to The treaty of 1867 resulted. It gave England rights to carry on a sealing trade in the sea. The trade has since been pursued with vigor, especially in the vicinity of the Prybilov Islands. The sea continued to give up its to English arid Canadian seal fishers nntll the end of the 'Bo’s, when a scarcity of the animal became manifest to the Alaskan Commercial Company. A cessation of work was sought by that company, which finally Drought the matter before the United States Government. Then began the controversy which has continued up to the present time. In 1890 our Government finally made a formal request of the British Governmept for co-operation in protecting the seals—fbr the benefit of all mankind. The English Government was slow to respond but finally agreed to arbitrate

AN INDIAN SEAL HUNTER.

1 the matter. The arbitrators were also to settle forever the right of the United ■ States in Behring Sea to the exclusion of all other countries. The agreement . to arbitrate was entered into in the fore

CLUBBING.

part of 1891. Pending’the action of the board of arbitration, which was to consist of two representatives of the United States, two of England and three neutral to be appointed one each by the President of France, the King of Italy, and the Emperor of Austria, England agreed to co-operate with our Government in Ihe laudable work of restricting the catch o's seals, especially by poaching. No actual service in that direction was performed, however, a'nd the fact that more seals were caught in 1891 than during any previous summer called for prompt action on the part of the President of the United States. It is .undoubtedly true that a continuance of pelagic hunting adjacent to the islands will, within a short time, either exterminate tike seal or intimidate them so that they will seek other breeding places. Testimony of officers of sealing vessels, a< given before the Alaskan court, is to the effect that they do not suture more' than one-third of the seals killed on their hunting expeditions. The method of slaughter pursued on th? islands by the company is as follows: From the herded animals, who gather in great numbers on. tho rocks, a selection is made of such as are valuable and can legally be killed. These are driven inland for some distance, when they are clubbed to death and immediately skinned. The Aleutian natives, who are employed by the company to do this work, are very expert, and accomplish the killing and skinning with great rapidity. The skins are counted, salted and baled, ready for shipment.

All this is done under the eyes of a special agent of the United States Treasury, who is appointed expressly for the purpose. The skins go to London, where at the annual sales the market price is established, They also go there to be cleaned and dyed, the latter process being a trade secret which has been retained inviolate by one firm for many years. An abandonment on our part of jurisdiction over the entire waters of Behring Sea, as determine?! in the case cited, means the ultimate extinction of the industry, and any concession prescribing this area is a virtual abandonment of our original claims'. Now that the largest private yacht in the World has been built far the Count Stroganoff there is another opportunity for some pjirse-proud AmeTl,can billionaire to justify his existence by having one Built which shall bk larger yet. .. . .

SLEIGHING BY STEAM.

Sierra Snows to Be Defied by a New and Novel Propeller. I The Fultoh Iron Works, in Nfew I York City, is completing the machinery for a very curious machine, thelike of which has never been known before. It is a machine sleigh-like in construction, and is intended to be used in hauling passengers and tow- • ing logs and other freight in i Sierras, and, fact, wherever snpw ‘ exists. ' Should it prove the success that it i promises, the problem of Arctic ex-' ploration will be solved, for even in a • mountainous country it will be about as fleet as a Hudson River iceboat, i while on level stretches only birds of enwearled wing can keep up with it. ' i This strange machine is the invention of Amos Lane,,of Truckee, who some months ago discovered the buried gold of the famous Donner party. : He first built a model , which was run in the regions around j Sierraville by hand power. , Now he ! is making a sleigh twelve feet long, wnich will carry a six-horse power engine and weigh, all complete, not over 1,800 pounds. j Its mechanism is peculiar and is attracting much attention. The novel craft will mainly be used between Tahoe and Truckee to transport freight and passengers. Aside from carrying ordinary freight and '

THE SIEBtIA SNOW CONQUEROR.

passengers from point to point rapidly, Mr. Lane intends to use it as a “tow boat” in hauling loaded sleds around the mining and wood camps along the line of the 'Central Pacific where show falls so heavily as to obstruct other means of traffic. Mr. Lane built ’ his first motor sleigh two years ago at Sierraville, and was his own engine and engineer. He worked it by a hand crqnk and was able to make ten an hour over a level, and climb Considerable grades. He estimates that with the vehicle now being made, basing his calculations on comparative power, weight, i esistarice and paddle-push-ing surface, he can double this speed.

THE COST OF ARMED PEACE.

Europe Is Poorer, by at I.east &1,000.000,. 000 a Yeur by It. In Europe to-day 3,000,000 men, the physical Hower of the continent, have been drilling, marching, and countermarching, practicing at targets, learning the use. of bayonet and saber and performing as nearly as is possible in sham fights the evolutions of actual war. It was so yesterday and last year and through all the yesterdays of twenty years. Seven times during this period has the personnel of this vast host been renewed; consequently there are now about 20,000,000 Europeans not yet beyond middle life who have been trained to the fighter’s profession and who could at briefest notice take their places in the active army or in the reserve. Every city has its barracks and parade ground, says a writer in the Forum; every frontier frowns with a double row of fortifications. At the end of the nineteenth century Europe,' from the Douro to the Don, is a camp wherein ten times 300,000 of her able-bodied men are bivouacking, ready at a sign to spring to arms and slay each other. The spectacle is without parallel in the history of the world. Even in the boisterous days of antiquity, when wars were frequent, fighting was the business of Comparatively few. Alexander s phalanx and Ctesar’s legions were composed of picked men who adopted the soldier’s career and followed it until they were retired or killed.

So, too, the armies of Charles V. and Philip IL, of Gustavus Adolphus, and Turenne, varied in numbers from year to year. The majority of Napoleon’s old guard and of many of his regiments of the line fought through a dozen campaigns, and he regulated the quota of each year’s conscription according to each year’s needs. But our generation has witnessed the expansion in Europe of a military system as severe in time of peace as the old systems were in war-time, a sort of perpetual levy e» masse. Measures which once have been deemed unjustifiable, except in the most threatening emergency, are now employed every day, and what was the standard of war has been fixed as the standard of peace. Under the new system every eligible man is, at a given age, withdrawn from his trade or occupation and converted for three or five years into a soldier, till he becomes proficient ip firing a breechloader and in the appropriately named goose-step, after which be may go backtto his civilian carting, blit with the liability of being summoned to fight at any time until he is 45 or 50 years old. The economic waste which is due to this system needs no comment. To estimate the sum we must reckon in not only the money actually spent on food, clothes, lodging, arms, and ammunition, the salaries of officers and the stipend of. common soldiers, besides the building and repairing of fortifications, but also the wealth which these idle multitudes could produce, were they profitably employed. This computed, Europe is poorer by not less than $1,000,000,000 a year. Her armed peace during the last twenty years*has Atost her as much as she paid for art Napoleon’s terrific campaigns from Lodi to Waterloo.

Bound to Be Forgiven.

Gustave Dore had many faults, but none so large as not to deserve excuse when one remembers his tenderness of heart. He absolutely would not and could not keep up an enmity. Life was 'short, according co his loving theory, and only the foolish naa

could* afford to spend It in bitterness. Blanchard Jerrold was exceedingly angry with him at one time because, after they had worked together on a volume of drawings and descriptions relating to London, Dore published a French edition of the book, in which Jerrold’s text did not appear. For a year the intimacy of the two men ceased, and then, on ’’Dore's annual visit ,to London, he suddenly appeared in his former friend’s library, held out his hand, and said, “I couldn’t leave without seeing you.” He owned that he had been in the wrong, and did not attempt to justify himself. The only thing he did insist upon was the fact that lite could not live at enmity with one of whom he had once been fond,and after long discussion the two parted, on their old affectionate terms. ' Yet Dore was an irritable man, and one day actually quarreled with a friend on the subject of art. It was not long, however, before he rushed into Che gentleman’s house, saying, “Let us embrace each other! It is too stupid to quarrel with friends. We will talk no more about painting, but only of drawings. Then, you were perhaps in the right.” “We hugged each other,” says the friend, In telling the story. “He had been the first to come back. He was a better man than I.”

Another friend, Albert Wolff, the critic, had written somewhat severely of Dore as a painter, and the latter, who was never content to be admired as a mere illustrator, felt the cut most keenly. The two had been friends for fifteen years, bnt this unfortunate criticism parted them for five. Then,, one summer evening, they met face to face, and it Was Dore who advanced with outstretched hand, saying, “Is it all over?” “As you please,” was the cold reply. Dore hesitated. Then his better nature prevailed over pride, and, passing his arm within that of his friend, he said, “I must talk with you.” He talked and the other listened, with the result of healing the breach between thbm.

MURPHY FAILED TO DIE.

And Spartacus Was Bullyragged by a Red. Headed Irishman. It was at a certain East £>idq theater recently that a tragic stanof medium standing produced in the course of his repertory the well-worn tragedy of “Spartacus,” says the New York Commercial Advertiser. Late in the afternoon the management was notified that the gentleman who had .been accustomed to portray the fighting Gaul in the arena scene had succumbed to the grip and wouldn’t be .around that evening. After an hour or so of sharp hustling for a substitute a Milesian of diminutive proportions was secured, and there beiug no opportunity for a rehearsal he was told in a general way what to do and informed .that he was to give up the ghost when the star told him to do so. When the evening came the stage manager and his assistant rigged up the volunteer in breastplate and helmet, gave him his little tin sword, and at the proper moment turned him loose in the arena. The star opened the combat by giving his antagonist a lively crack in the ribs. This roused the latter’s Celtic, blood and he retaliated by whacking the star's helmet in good gladiatorial fashion. Pleased by this display of enthusiast* on the part of a tyro, Spartacus smote the fighting Gaul in the neck by way of encouraging the same and received a sharp jab in return. For two Minutes the battle was a sharp one, when the star, who is a stout man and not much given to exercise, began to retreat. “Die, Murphy, die!” he- hissed between his teeth, as he vainly tried to dodge the trip-hammer blows the Gaul aimed at him. “Divil a bit,” hissed the fighting Gaul in reply, “Oi’ve just clapped me oies on the tarrier that's runnin’ agin me for sargint-av-arums in our society an’ it’ll niverdo for him to say me bate!”. The curtain was rung down on the unusual spectacle of the doughty Spartacus being chased all around the ring by a small and red-headed gladiator of generally measly appearance. ,

Curious Advertisements.

A traveler in Germany sometimes finds little to interest him in the newspapers except advertisements, many of which are'extremely curious, and unlike anything of the kind in our own newspapers. Here are a few specimens: Wanted—A reliable youn? lady, or a widow without children, who lias bad experience in a first-class retail slop. The advertiser, who has lately lost bls wife, wants, above all, a capable and honest person to whom an active retail trade can be Intrusted, and \vho can give security. An offer of marriage may be expected when ability to care for the business has been demonstrated. I announce to the relatives anti friends of the deceased that Carl N.. to whom 1 was enstagod to be married, was relieved by death of his severe sufferings on July 18, in Hamburg. His deeply sorrowing bride Helena H. The welcome arrival of a strong, welldeveloped boy Is announced with joy by Wilhelm J . butcher, No. —street, and wife. , His yoyal h'ghness Prince William of Wurtcmburg has a tain been most graciously moved to cause a subscription of 40 marks to-te sent to us. For th s renewed and munificent assistance to bur cause we desire In the most obedient and respectful manner to express our most heartfelt gratis tude.—The Committee for Country Excursions for Poor Sick School Children. okfi( lAL NOTICE. Stuttgart. July 23.—Public praise is hereby aivqu to Hans Jeorg. a student in the Polytechnic School in Stuttgart, for his noble, determined and courageous conduct in saving a person from drowning. 'J he Royal City Commission.

„ A stiuking design for a new style of sleeve for ladies’ dresses has been printed in the fashion magazines. Viewed from the side it resembles the Tower of London inverted, surrounded by two rows of gigantic frills, and finished off at the top with the dome of the Mosque of Omar. Nam'e of the architect not given. Prof. Pete Maher, whose animated personal discussion with the Hon. Bob Fitzsimmons at New Orl leans not long since resulted in a j great deal of money changing hands, ; offers, a most astonishing and unj heard-of reason tpr his defeat. He ‘ says the Hon. Bob i i the best man.

THE LATE MR. SPURGEON.

The Leading: Nonconformist and Preacher of the Age. The death of Mr. Spurgeon leaves a vacancy in the religious world which is destined, perhaps, never"to be perfectly filled. In many respects the character of Mr. Spurgeon was unique. He stood alone. He was fashioned after nb predecessor, and should any one try to imitate him the attempt would doubtless be a failure. A leading religious journal pronounces him to be the greatest preacher since the rise of Protestantism. An intelligent critic, who listened to' him

MR. SPURGEON'S BIRTHPLACE.

some years ago, said afterwards that he went with the highest anticipations, but the reality very far exceeded his most vivid imagination. Mr. Spurgeon was of humble origin. The illustration we give of his birthplace shows this. It was a plain, modest structure, the home evidently Of plain people. He never outgrew the simplicity of his early life, and ever continued to be in hearty sympathy with the masses. Here, no doubt, was one of the elements of his power. He was unassuming; he disliked titles. He did not like even the conventional title of Rev., but preferred to be known as simply Mr. Spurgeon. For a while at least he appears to have underestimated his own abilities. When one day in 1853 he opened the letter inviting him to come to London, he was surprised, and thodght it must be intended for some other person. ’ His powers of mind were prodigious, *>ut his education was not that of the schools. In early life he planned to pursue a full cotirse atone of the colleges or universities, but was led to change his purpose. Whether he erred or not in this it is impossible, of course, to speak with certainty, but we cannot help the reflection that even the greatest minds are usually made greaterby the discipline of college lije. Mr. Spurgeon’s marvelous command of simple and idiomatic English added greatly to the strength of his

MR. SRURGEON AT TWENTY-THREE.

preaching and writing. His sermons were of that rare quality which makes them not only impressive to hear but fascinating to read. For years they have been published weekly, 100,000 copies of a single discourse often com-. ,ing from the press.

Dispensing: on Board Ship.

Curious yarns are spun about the method of dispensing followed by divers captains on board ship. An illiterate shipmaster, having consulted his book of medical instructions. found that a strong dose from number six bottle was the proper remedy for a sick sailor standing before him. Number six, however, had been in great request bn the voyage, and not a drop remained. Fora moment the amateur doctor was at a loss. An inspiration opportunely caused his corrugated brow to smoothen. He mixed together portions from bottles ’ number two and number four on the strictly arithmetical principle that two and four make six! Another story tells equally against the sisterservice. It is related that a lieutenant in command of a gunboat deemed the Responsibility of the charge of a medicine-chest . too great for him. Immediately she was off soundings the gallant officer mustered all hands, and divided the contents of the chbst equally, so that each had “his whack and na mair.” There is another naval yarn in this connection well worth mentioning. A man-of-war doctor, whose name is unfortunately lost to posterity,. had a simple method of locating a man’s ailment and alleviating it—save the mark!—by drastic an infallible remedies. ' . He would tie a piece of tape around the waist of the complaining mariner, and command him todeclare whether his pain existed above or below the tape. If above, an emetic, and if below, a dose of salts, followed as a matter of course.

Queen Victoria and the Duke of Fife have quarreled because Fife ignored royal etiquette and spoke before he was spoken to. As monarch Victoria is entitled to the first word; as a woman she insists on the last word, and she gets most of the words that come between on general principles. ; Russians who stay at home must .suffer, if not die, from starvation, and those who reach America bring the deadly typhus to work its ravages in this country. Surely they are an afflicted people who in seeking, a deliverance bring affliction upon others. • It is reported that a Boston dentist has been indicted for having attempted to “fix" the grand jury in behalf of. the whisky trust. He probaLD tried to put in sonic gold fillings.

OUR BUDGET OF FUN

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. Jokaa and Joka'eti that Ara Supposed to Bare Boon Kecenlly Horn- Saylnc» aad Doing* that Ara OdA Curious aad >-aughabla. Socialism Dlscunsed. Barkeeper—You believe in a general division of property? Socialist—Yes, that's my idea. “And your mOtto is that property is robbery?” “Precisely. ” “Then it there is a general division of property the socialist who takes any of .the property is a receiver of stolen, goods, and in this case the receiver is worse than the thief*.— Texas Siftings. Theory and Practice. He was reading aloud the family circle and laid down tne paper to emphasize what he had just read. “I believe with the writer of that sentiment that singing should.be taught Io a child as soon as it can speak—Good heavens! What is that awful noise in the next room?” “That is the baby singing,” said his wife. And he went to the club to finish the article he was reading.— Detroit Press. Sand. Teacher of Physiology—What ingredient which is highly essential in the composition of the human body does sugar possess? Pupils (in one voice) —Sand.— Pharmaceutical Era. A Home Product. Glanders—‘Did I understand you to say that the lady to whom you presented me last night , was a duphess?” Gummey—“Yes, a genuine duchess from Dutchess Coupty, New York.” —Jester. By Meieupary I’m full of hish a»»bitloq, .And seek—l may be ra-»h—« Not the pluuuiu of posterity. But contemporary cush,—Pack I-earnkug Appreciate)!. Cultivated Stranger—“ You advertise for a man who can speak twentysix languages?” Mr. Gotham—“ Yes, sir. The position is st ii.l open.” “May I ask concern img the matter of its duties?” “Certainly. I own considerable property in New York and I want a man to collect the rents.”—New York Weekly. Just Bonds—That’s AIL De Hash—l presume pjptty soon you will compel me to give bonds to keep the peace. Mrs. De Kash —Why, what on earth do you mean? < De Kash (shelling out) —Oh, just government bonds, that all.—New Yurk Herald. Shows Wretched Tatbte. “Boss, can’t .you gimme a dime to get a meal?” “1 can, but I shall not. I have no money to squander ih administering to your depraved appetite.” “But, honest, Boss, I want to buy a meal with it.'” “Exactly. And if eating a 10-cent meal is not evidence of a depraved appetite I do not know whatus.”—ln-, dianapolis Journal. A Sure Thing 1 . Sparkle—Your sister is wearing one of Miss Pinkie’s rings. I wish you would get it for me. I want to take the measure. Going to buy an en-gagement-ring, you know. Barkle —Eh? Has. Miss- Pinkie- accepted you? Sparkle—She- will when 1 propose. Lasts night she asked me how I liked her mother.—New York Weekly. Amei-lcun 1-a.ihion.

Rick Donovan—Vis, thim pants are too short, sure. Israel Moses—Not at all, min® frendt. Here is der fashion-blate. I vill piit der siisbenders on der bottom free ov sharge.—Judge. Ikying l igure*. “George, what were you doing down-town last night until after 12 o’clock?” “What was I doing? Why, my dpar, I was in the.office balancing up the books. I worked there till I could hardly see. My head is just full of figures yet. « “Your head full of figures? Figures! Oh, you are mistaken, George. Figures don’t lie, you know.”—Texas Siftings. A Welcome* Sound. ' -• . He—Dear Miss May, would it be too much trouble to ring for a glass of water? She—Don’t mention it, Mr. Staylong. I wish I had a bottle of ginger ale to offer you. He—lsn’t it too early in the season, don’t you think? She—But it would be so refreshing • to hear it pop—Detroit Free Press. • In some lowly;organized worms are found greed bodies, which seem to be identical' with the green substance of plants enabling them to absorb carbon from the air when basking in the sunshine, but it may be these green bodies are merely vegetable parasites which finally secure a place of abode in the skin of the worm and in return manufacture food for Nature teems to have tricks of trade which are almost past finding out. A Honesdale, Pa., lady has a full set of carpenter’s tools, which she uses with remarkable skill in making useful and ornamental articles for her a Tull set of chairs being among the. productions of her mechanical -gentuz .