Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 March 1892 — OUR BUDGET OF FUN. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. Joke* and Joke’ets that An Sappoaad to Ban Been Recently Born- Say Inc* tot Bolngi that Are Odd. Curious and Laughable. Honor Where Honor Is Dae. “Vickars’ play has made tjhe hit of the year.” “So?” “I should say. The stage carpenter was called before the curtain no less than three times.”—lndianapolis Journal. Adding: Insult tp Iqjnrjr* Infuriated purchaser (to dog-fanci-er’s brutal son) —See here, young man, what the cieuce’did your father mean by telling me that bulldog would soon become attached to me? Look at me now. D. F.’s B. S.—Well, to look at your clo’s,4tt should say father hadn’t lied. —Brooklyn Life. A Radical Means of Protection.

Visitor (from Reno) —Look out there! Rattled Pickpocket—Murder! Visitor—l’m sorry, young feller; but I always hitch the end of my watch-chain onter my Dertinger trig-ger.—-Judge. A Candid Malden. At a social gathering Hostettei McGinnis, who is a great wag, said to Miss Esmeralda Longcoffin: “You would not believe, Miss Esmeralda, what conquests I’ve made among the fair sex. You would not believe it.” “I don’t,” replied Miss Esmeralda, calmly.—Texas Siftings. Shed In Anguish Some Sort. “No, my tragedy was not accepted by Booke Binder & Co., though they paid it a very high compliment. “Oh, they always do that,” “I do not mean In words. There were tear, marks soattered all through it when it came back. “ —lndianapolis Journal. A Warning to Our Yonth. Flippdoodle Johnson-*-Ah, deah boy, weah’s youah cane-handle gone to? S. Imly Dudeway—l swallowed it, thank you, deah chappie.—Judge. Knew What to Expect from Them. Woman (to tramp)—You look tired and hungry, my poor man. Tramp—Yes, ma’am, I am. ma’am. Woman—Come in and have a chop. Tramp—All right, ma’am, bring on your wood; it’s a change from vawing, anyway.—Exchange. Dramatic Notes. Tom—You ought to get your horse a part on the stage. Tim (nursing his shoulder) —He’s no good, the vicious brute. Tom —Oh, yes; high-kickers are all in favor now!—Rider and Driver. Severe Punishment. First Boy—Do they whip at your school? Secbnd Boy—No; I wish they did. First Boy—What do they do? Second Boy—Keep you in at recess. —Good News. •5... Knew a Good Thing at Sight. Excited Subscriber —The citizens are going to tar and feather you! Editor—Hooray! I’ll go into the show business as the wild man from Deadville. Didn’t I tell you there money in the newspaper business?—Atlanta Constitution.

Bunco Waddilove—There’s prob’bly th’ finest election of • diamonds yon ever see, an’ I’ll sell ’m fer a song. Jest look at ’m close.

Mr. Hayrick r—Help! murder! Judge. No Sameness There. “You don’t have stewed prunes here every day, do you?” asked the new boarder of Hunker, as the two left the table. “Oh, no,” replied Hunker, “Mrs. Small serves a good variety. We had * stewed prunes to-day. To-morrow we shall have prune pie; next day prune sauce; then prune turnover, followed by prune meringue and prune rolls. Oh, no; there’s no sameness here!” —Harper’s Bazar.