Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 February 1892 — OUR BUDGET OF FUN. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. Jokti and Joka'eti that Are Supposed to Here Boon Recently Born- Sayings mad Doings that Are Odd. Curious and Laughable. Narrow Streets. The streets of Caracas, the capital of Venezuela, are so narrow that the street cars that were imported had to be sawed in two in order to allow them to turn the corners. They Ought Not To, In Public. Belle—What do you think of the idea of marrying for love? Nell—l shouldn’t think it was a good way to get it. I’ve noticed that married people usually don’t seem to have any too much love to waste on one another.—Somerville Journal. A Hired Servant. “Do you employ your man Rastus by the month or day?” “Well, with Rastus it’s sort of both. I employ him to do a day’s work now and then, but it always takes him a month to do it.’’—Washington Hatchet. A Qualifying Circumstance* Berkeley Van Nobs—lsn’t that Hopkins a very decent sort of a fellah? lieggy Westend—No; not our sort. Berkeley Van Nobs —But I saw him in Lunnon last summer. Reggy Westend—But he goes to Lunnon on business.—Puck. A Vain Quest* Mrs. Bingo—What are you going to wear at the sociable to-night, my dear? Bingo (frantically from the depths of his wardrobe) —From present indications I shall go in a silk hat and a pair of rubber boots.—Clothier and Furnisher. Health Item. Boy—ls soup healthy? Parent Why, certainly; what makes you ask? Boy—Well, when I smoke you say it is not healthy, and the soup is smoking and you say it is healthy. What does this mean, anyhow?— Texas Siftings. Proper Pride* Of course he felt it his duty to tell her that she was the first girl he had ever kissed. “I’m sorry to hear you say that," she said. “You can’t compare me with other girls—and—l’m sure the comparison would not be to my disadvantage.”—lndianapolis Journal. What He Didn’t Like. Fuldres (nodding toward a pretty girl with a dozen men talking to her) —“Yes, she’s deuced pretty and smart and rich, hut there are some things about her I don’t like.” Tuxedo—“lndeed, what are they?” Fuldres—“A dozen men.”—Detroit Free Press. Logical* Teacher —Bobby, where do we get our sugar? Bobby—From the sugar-cane. Teacher—Correct. Now, "Edward, where do we get our soap? Edward—From the soapstone.— Rochester Post-Express. Ho Did Not*

Lonesome Whiskers—“ Were you in Chicago during the recent scarcity of water?” Wandering Charlie—“l was.” Lonesome Whiskers—“ And did you not experience a great inconvenience?” Wandering Charlie—“ The thing was exaggerated, my dear hoy; I experienced no inconvenience.”—Ex.

To Brace Him Up. Examining Board—“ What would you prescribe in a case of partial paralysis?” Gay Young Medical Student—“ Another drink.”—Elmira Gazette. Included In the Bill. Bell-Boy (excitedly to hotel clerk) — “Lightning has struck through into 499, sir!” Clerk—“ls 49.9 hurt?” Bell-Boy—“No, sir. He’s all right." Clerk (to bookkeeper)—“Charge 499 $2 for extra heat.”—Life. Family Jars. Mr. N. Peck—l should think you would be ashamed to wear the hair of another woman on your head. Mrs. N. Peck—Shame yourself, for you wear the skin of another calf on your feet.—Brooklyn Eagle.