Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 February 1892 — Page 4

fljdlfiiiocratifSeiitiiifl RENSSELAER, INDIANA. 3. W. McEWEN, - - - Tm usher

• A liberal patrimony is a decided help to matrimony. The death of the Khedive, who will toe succeeded toy a minor, will furnish England with a fresh pretense for retaining her hold upon Egypt. • . There is no denying that it takes a heap of responsibility off a man's shoulders to take some other fellow’s advice. It gives him a handy place to put the blame if he fails. Most people think they would be happy if they were located anywhere else, forgetting that wherever they go they have to take the cause of their unhappiness with them. When Patti visited Niagara the other day she must have noticed with a thrill of delight that the passing of the years has not affected the voice of the great cataract a particle. There are many people in the West who never tasted really good roast beef. Thousands of cooks do not know how to cook it, and thousands of butchers do not know how to cut it. We never had an ache or a pain when we were little that the grown people did not tell us t<» go to sleep and forget it. We have often won- j dered since that they did not take their own advice. Physicians say that swinging In- j dian clubs and the use of dumbbells is the best thing in the world to de-1 velop the muscles of a young woman’s j arms and shoulders. What is the matter with sweeping and scrubbing? Not merely to know, but according 1 to his knowledge to do, is the destiny of man. Your action alone detef- ! mines your worth; and Carlyle says, ' “The end of man is an action, and not a thought, though it were of the noblest.” Ik a boy wants to do something that he shouldn’t, give him your full i consent to do it. Though he was crazy to do ft on the sly, your permission will take away all his desire. The same rule, it is said, will work with the men. A great many Herns are brought j to this office, and the most vicious arc invariably sent in by women. They are usually slaps at other j women, and generally speak respectfully of the men. Women should j “stand together” more. There are more old people In the world now than there were thirty years ago. The cause is said to be j due to the fact that more people have their decayed teeth extracted and are wearing store teeth. Their digestion is made lx:tier, and they live longer. The frequency of the word “suddenly” In the many death notices of the day Is startling and shocking, even when one is not acquainted with any of those who are taken away. The winter has been one which has brought unexpected grief to many homes. Cmu withdrew and apologized for Malta’s famous note arid heaped upon Matta himself all the social and political honors imaginable. An apology made at the muzzle of a gun is about as sincere as an expression of religious faith extorted, as was once the pleasing custom, on the rack. The only conclusive evidence of a man’s sincerity is that he gives himself for a principle. Words, money, all things else arc comparatively easy to give away; but when a man makes a gift of his dally life and practice it Is plain that the truth, whatever it may be, has taken possession of him.

The Legislature of Michigan has sat down hard on the cigarette demon by making it a misdemeanor punishable by tine to manufacture, sell, or give away cigarettes or paper for making them. About a year from now it will be interesting to have a report on the efficiency of this piece of repressive legislation. The war scare is over now, but at one time the situat ion was exceedingly grave. Some idea of this may be afforded by recalling the fact that the pressure on the columns of the New York Herald was so great one morning as to necessitate the leaving out of that ringing editorial beginning “Never print a paid advertisement,” etc. Europe is now sending to the United States for her ash. oak, and pine lumber. Where will the United States send when the supply is exhausted? The best ash, thought to be almost inexhaustible, is now said to be scarce and oak Is being utilized in its place. The nation of timber killers are not looking out for the interests of the millions to follow to any large extent. Every man in the world has a secret, and his mind hovers around it as constantly as a dog hovers around the spot where he has hidden a bone. He shows it in his face, and usually it-te of the kind that leaves lines in hi* countenance. Live with him long eMNffh, and be will tell you, without kaowing that he is telling you, all about it Sometimes it is an ambition; oftener it is a disappointment, tm is almost every case It is someUung that is concealed because it

would be to the man's discredit if known. This is so generally the case that the only happy people are those who have no secrets. Tni: old Romans were level-headed and knew some things which a great many people of to-day haven’t found out. Cato, the censor, said: “Our ancestors regarded it as a grand point in husbandry not to have too much land in one farm: for they considered that more profit came from holding little and tilling it well.” You see ttiat was In old Cato’s day, as lie says, “Our ancestors regarded it,” etc.; but it is new now.

There are many kinds of pride—the pride of wealth, of name, of birth, of social standing, or popular esteem — but none is quite so offensive as that of an imagined menial superiority. It looks down upon others with a supercilious compassion which awakens all the resentments of human nature. Deeper and truer thought banishes this delusion, and makes a man modest as nothing else can; for it is always discovering mistakes that he has made and must correct, mental work done that must be undone, hasty conclusions that must he repudiated, erroneous judgments that must he revised.

Count Tolstoi has written a long letter to a New York paper, giving his personal observations and experiences in the famine districts of Russia. It may correct some impressions in America to know that this celebrated philanthropist and author acquits the general government arid the local functionaries of either indifference or procrastination in relief for the sufferers from famine, but he finds that, with all that has been done, and with all that Russia can do, more than half the suffering must remain unless people more fortunately situated contribute to their relief. There has been so much misinformation in this country regarding the famine and the attitude of the Russian Government toward the starving peasants, that this appeal of Count Tolstoi’s ought to set matters right and open the purses of those who arc able to help these poor people.

Mil William L. Garrison has written a letter complaining of the treatment of his son, a student in Harvard College, b.v his fellow-stu-dents. It appears that young Mr. Mr. Garrison sought admission to the society of the I). K. K., which is accounted the toniest society in the college. His offer was accepted and he was put through the initiation performance, among whi<*l» was the burning of one of his arms by a lighted cigar, and in consequence he was made sick, and there was apprehension for a time among the family of blood poisoning. The rule of initiation, we believe, to be that t tie candidate must do some silly'act, or submit to some silly act being done to him; not alwaj* Hie same act, hut invariably a silly act; and this lie understands when he offers himself for admission. The thing Is mutual. If there Is no sense in it there is a want of sense on both sides. It is the price of distinction. The scar is Ills badge, of membership. Shortly after the war ijctween France and Germany in IK7O, when the war passion was high, the proudest and most popular young men of Germany were those, who had their faces mutilated by sword cuts.

To OAPT. W. T. H ARDIiNHROOK, (ll Company C, of the Second Regiment, I. N. G., belongs the doubtful honor of an attempt to conduct society on military principles. Company C was to give its first annual reception and ball. It came in uniform, as ordered by Captain Hardenbrook, and, with its fair ladles, disposed Itself about the armory hall. Suddenly, however, it was discovered that the hall was not Company C’s, but Captain liardenbrook’s. The Captain fnformed the guards that he had only ordered them to conn - to the ball to show off a little, and that, as several army officers were expected who would object to association with privates, they could not be allowed to dance. The guards protested that they had paid $2 each, and had been invited to dance. The Captain drew up like a drum-major. What w - us $2, he asked, to discipline? They could go home if they wished, but they could not dance. So most of the guards took their disappointed ladies and left the hull. The real soldiers, the army officers, interviewed afterward, declared that the insult to the guards was purely gratuitous, and that they had not thought of objecting to a participation with them in the dance. Captain Ilardcnbrook’s imitation of the cad is so perfect as to defy detection.

Divorce Statistics.

Tiie most unhappy period of marriage. according to French divorce statistics, is for the period extending from the fifth to the tenth year. After that the figures drop rapidly. Only 28 per cent, of couples seek divorce between the tenth and twentieth years of unions. Only one pair in 100 seeks to cut the knot after the period of over thirty and under forty years.

A Funny Fish.

A curious flsh has been caught at Atlantic City, N. J., struggling in the surf close to the shore. It is about five feet long with big fins, more like flippers, fore and aft, and an immense mouth armed with four rows of teeth. The'body is flat, after the order of the flounder, and its skin is brown and as coarse as sandpaper. It weighs 150 pounds. A Swift Svinmfr. The dolphin is the fastest swimmer in the sea. It can with ease swim around and about a vessel going at the highest rate of speed, and can go faster than tweet jr-tw miles an hour.

THEY WANT FREE WOOL

WOOL CONSUMERS PETITION CONGRESS. It I* Aske«l that Schedule K, Relating to Wool ami Woolen*, in the Tariff Act of 1800, Be Changed for the Belief ot Manufacturer* and for the Benefit of Consumer*. Petition of tile Association. To the Honorable the Senate and House ol Representative* of the United States: The Wool Consumers’ Association respectfully petitions the Fifty-second Congress to change Schedule K, relating to wool and woolens, in the tariff act of 1890, for the relief of woolen manufacturers, and for the benefit of all consumers of woolen fabrics. It is, of course, undesirable in general to change tariffs frequently, but the general principles of the act of 1890, as applied to wool and woolens, are the same as have been tried unsatisfactorily lor very many years, except that it aggravates some of the worst and most oppressive features of the former acts in relation to wool. The act has therefore practically been tested by the trials of many years, and there is no occasion to test it by longer I experience. It is not true that the act, in its present form, can work no harm to woolen manufacturers. It works the same injury to the makers of woolen and worsted cloth that the restrictions on the use of wool always have produced; and, in the case of the carpet trade, which consumes a very large pro- i portion of ail the imported wool, it is 1 the most oppressive act ever passed. The wool schedule <K; of the tariff act of 1890 offers an exceptional opportunity, by amendments making wool free and relatively decreasing both the specific and ad valorem duties on woolen goods, to benefit immensely the woolen manufacturers by giving them free access to the supplies of wool of various qualities, such as all other competing manufacturing countries enjoy, and by reducing thus without injury to manufacturers the cost of their goods to them and to the consumers, while leaving sufficient protection. With free raw materials, the tax on imports of competing goods would be almost entirely for the protection of labor, and us free raw materials would greatly increase the consumption, there would be an increased demand for labor. Neither is it true that no harm has come to consumers by the law of 1890. In tiie first place, the increased cost of wool, as compared with prices in Europe, has forced the use of cotton and other adulterants to a great and unusual extent; secondly, if woolen goods have not advanced, they might have been lower but for the duties on wool. There is no question among manufacturers that the act of 1891) was intended to advance prices, nor that it was well calculated to do so to the extent that consumers could afford. The almost j universal fall in prices was caused in j very small degree, if at all, by the tariff act of 1890. Tim tremendous losses In the Argentine Republic and elsewhere, the failure of the Barings, the distrust, caused by silver legislation, the low price of cotton in the South on account of an enormous crop, the failure of crops in tiie North and West prlorofO 1891, causing dull trade and reduced consumption, are the principal causes that brought distress and falling prices.

What those manufacturers and wool growers who arranged tiie wool sell dule with tho Intention,of Increasing prices want, is, no doubt, to lie let alone, so that the tariff act may produce under more favoralde auspices the results they expected and worked for. But the rest, that tiie public needs Is u permanent relief from taxes which oppress both them and manufacturers, which hamper the latter, as every manufacturer admits, and which largely Increase the cost of woolen goods to the public. The readjustment, of the tariff on the basis of free wool, is perfectly simple; it needs but the removal of the duties on wool and a corresponding reduction of the duties on goods which wore put on to offset tiie cost of the wool duties. Here is a great boon to every manufacturer of wool and every consumer. It is absurd to say that, because the duly Is taken off of one article, free trade must follow. Congress is npt. obliged to adopt free trade because tho duty is taken off of wool, any more than It was when it made jute or tea or coffee or sugar free, Tiie growth of the wool manufacture has undoubtedly been great during the past thirty years, for the country, with its vast natural resources and enormous immigration, lias increased vastly in population and wealth; but tho growth of the manufacture would be much moro prosperous and much greater with free wool, and its growth and prosperity mean larger use of domestic wools and higher prices abroad for all competing wools. It is clear from the statements of the National Association of Wool Manufacturers and from undoubted facts, emphasized by tho vast increase in tho imports of wool since the passage of the act of 1890 and by the falling prices of Ohio wool, that lids country produces practically no carpet wool to supply the demand for nearly 100,00(1,000 pounds needed by tho carpet manufacturers, and only u part of tho clothing and combing wools needed; and it is further to tie considered that the use of wool for so-called “woolens" would lie much larger if tho restrictions of the wind duties did not greatly reduce tho consumption of wool and largely increase tiie use of shoddy and cotton in so-called woolen goods. And tlilH is the ease after a long series of years of high duties on wool. In the theory of th - "now protection," it is laid down as a principle that “the necessities entering into the daily life of the mass of the people which we cannot economically produce should b.> made free. On this principle wool should certainly be made free. It is a most important article for all the people. It is produced in this country in inadequate quantities. Some indispensable grades can be produced in this country only under conditions unfavorable us compared with those of other countries. High duties for a quarter of a century have failed to produce any carpet wool in this country, and have also failed to produce an adequate supply of the wools needed for the woolen and worsted manufacture. And, as wool can be made free with a large reduction in cost of goods and with very little disturbance of trade or of interference with sufficient protection, it is only reasonable that the changes suggested in schedule K of the act of 1890 should be made for the benefit of the whole people. • Arthur T. Lyman, Jf.sse Metcalf, Wm. B. Weeden, G. C. Moses, Charles M. Beach. T. Quincy Browne, Ex. Com. of the Wool Consumers' Association.

Decline In Iron Industry of Massachusetts.

The effect on the iron industry of New England of the high duties on'iron ore, pig and scrap iron is well summarized by Mr. Horace P. Tobey, of the Lemont Nail Works, in the New England Almanac for 1892. Through nearly two and a half centuries, with their wonderful changes, Massachusetts always held, down to 18W, noticeable prominence as an iron manufacturing State. Of her condition

at about that time, Mr. Swank, authoi of “Iron In All Ages," says: “Nearly all the bloomary and refinery Jorges and old style furnaces of New England have long disappeared, and in their stead have grown reproductive iron Industrie* of almost endless variety and vast extent, employing large numbers of skilled mechanics and adding greatly to the productive wealth of the country. The rolling mills, machine shops, hardware establishments, nail and tack factories, foundries and other iron enterprises oi New England, together with a few steel works and modern blast furnaces (nearly all of the latter still using charcoal, however,) form to-day a striking Contrast to the bog ore and other bloomaffies, not much larger than a blacksmith’s fire, and the small charcoal furnaces and chimney-corner nail factories of the last century.” But in 1880 the iron industries oi Massachusetts, strong in the possession of the experience of two and a half centuries and of trained mechanics in whose families iron-working had become hereditary, began strangely enough tc decline. In 1880 there were forty-one rolling mills in New England, of which twentyfive were in Massachusetts. In 1891 there were but twenty-one active rolling mills in New England, of which ten were in Massachusetts. In 1880 there were twelve cut nail factories in Massachusetts; in 1891 there w'ere but two in operation. In 1880 there were reported ns produced in Massachusetts 116,846 tons oi rolled iron; in 1887 only 45,853 tons; and several mills have retired since that date. In 1880 the United States census reports ennumeratod 217 puddling furnaces in New England, of which 191 were in Massachusetts. In 1890 and 1891 there was not, as the writer thinks, a ton of pig iron puddled New England, and certainly very little if any. In 1887 there were 30,683 tons of steel rails made in Massachusetts; in 1890 none. Such has been the effect of maintaining tiie high duties on crude iron.

T ariff Shot.

Under the operation of high duties the price of domestic wool lias always gone down. Under low tariffs, however, wool has risen in price. On this point we have the testimony of Mr. Thomas Dolan, who declared in a letter to the New York World on the fail in tiie price of wool as a result of the increased duties imposed by the McKinley tariff that it was distinctly promised by tiie protectionists who took part In the conferences of wool growers and manufacturers. And Senatoi Sherman said in the debate on the tariff of 1883: “In 1867 the price of wool wue 51 cents; in 1880, hi cents. This was the result of the policy of protecting the wool grower, as it is In all industries, te gradually reduce tiie price. Under the operation of the existing tariff (tiie tariff of 1H67) tho price of wool lias gradually gone down.” All wools were free of duty down to 1824, when a duty of 15 to 30 percent., wua imposed. Tills duty was increased by the tariff of 1828 to 1 cents per pound and 50 per cent. Fader the compromise tariff of 1833 the duty was graduually lowered, and In 1H42 It stood at 4 cents per pound and 20 per cent. The tariff of 1842 raised it again to 3 cents per pound and 30 per cent. The act of 1846 made tho duty on wool 30 per cent; that of 1857 put low grades on the free list and cut down the rate on all other wools to 24 per cent. The Morrill tariff of 1861 increased the duty 1 1 9 cents pel pound, and the special wool tariff of 1867 raised the duties to 10 cents per pound and 11 per cent, on clothing wools, and 12 cents per pound and 10 per cent, on combing wools. The tariff of 1882 took off tiie ad valorem duties, but left the pound duties us they were, and the McKinley tariff added another cent to the duty on clothing wools. Graphically illustrated, the average price of medium Ohio wool in the seaboard markets lias been as follows under eac li tariff.

Tho average prices given are compiled from Mawger A - Curry’s olrculur, as printed in the “ Statistical Abstract ol tiie United States." 1. Wool free of duty. Price the Ilrsl half of 1824, 4iH cents per pound, or 2. erago prlco of wool 424 cents per pound, or fIHMHHiHHfIHi 3. Lower wool duties. 1833-1842. Average price of wool, 48.9 cents per pound, or 4. Higher wool duties, 1843-1846. Average price of wool, 33J cents per pound. 5. Lower wool duties, 1847-1856. Average price of wool 40 3-5 cents per 6. Still lower wool duties, 1857-1860. Average price of wool, 44jf cents pot pound, or HUHHBHKHHHHHfIi 7. Wool duties raised, 1861-1866. Average price of wool 44$ cents per pound, or HHMRHriMHHiH 8. Wool duties raised still higher, 18671890. Average price of wool, 414 cents per HHHBHHHH 9. McKlnl cy tariff. Present price of XX Ohio wooi, 294@,30 cents per pound, bhhhi This confirms the statement made by Senator Sherman to the effect that high wool duties are accompanied by low prices of domestic wools, and that when the tariff on foreign wools is low domestic wools command higher prices.

Brass manufacturers at Bridgeport, Conn., have cut down the wages in the screw department from $2 to $1.75 per day, and have increased the hours of work from nine hours to ten. Molders’ wages have been cut from $2.50 to $1.90, and the wages of women reduced from $1.20 to 65 cents. The Clark Box Company, of Banbury, Conn., has reduced the wages of nailers 20 per cent. Both of these Connecticut concerns wore ardent supporters of the McKinley tariff, and sought to convince their workingmen that high tariff and high wages were almost equivalent terms. The McKinley organs still cackle ovei the large increase of exports as the effect of the tariff, and especially ol the reciprocity treaty. But the official returns of trade show that, with the exception of the exports of wheat and wheat flour, which have been enormously stimulated by reason of the famine in Russia and the partial failure of the crops in France and Germany, nearly all other staple exports of this country have declined under the operation oi McKinleyism. The imports of tinplate within the last ten months amounted to 697,732,207 pounds, against an importation of 614,729,703 pounds in the same months ol 1890—an increase of 83,000,000 pounds. These figures indicate that the domestic production of tinplate, of which we read so much about in the McKinley organs, has had little effect upon the foreign supply;

The directors of the American Soda Fountain Company or “trust” lately declared a semi-annual dividend of three dollars per share on the first preferred four dollars on the second preferred, and an annual dividend of ten dollars per share on the common stock to holders of record Jan. 26, payable Feb. 4. Parsley is poisonous to many kinds of birds.

THE JOKER’S BUDGET

JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Bright—Unpoetical—ls the Cap Fits —Repartee—Vanlting Ambition, —A Point Well Taken, Etc., Etc. BIGHT. She saw him off upon the train. And showed that parting was but pain, ‘•'At every stopping-place,” ho said, “lie sure you write, then go ahead.” —[Judge. UNPOETICAL. “I can't understand these poets. Here’s this Shakespeare follow tulking about stonos preaching sermons.” “There's nothing remurkablo about it. Why, every wagon has a tongue! ” [Rider and Driver. IF TIIK. CAl* Firs. Girl (at piano, just being singing)— Man’s coming round to tune the piano, to-morrow. Friend—ll’in! Pity that he can’t tune voices. REPARTEE. Small man (to tall man) —Upon my word, you are as stupid ns you arc tall! Tall man (to small man) —And you are as clever us you are short. VAULTING AMBITION. “Was he hurt by falling at the hurdie?” “Yes; but he hopes to got over it." SHE WAS IN FOB IT, ANYWAY. “If you take the last piece of bread on the plate,” said the mother to her marriageable daughter, “you won’t be married for so von years.” The young lady broke the bread into two pieces und took one piece. “That’s better,” said her mischievous brother, “that reduces tlnfiperiodto threo years and a half.”—[New York l’ross. KEEP COOL. Is a lion in the way? Koep cool; Toll him that we rcspoct pride, Tell him that the world is wide And that he must stand aside. Keep cool. A SACRIFICE TO THE ENGLISH SPARKOW. Citizen (to ono-eyod man) —My friend, are you one of the victims of the small boy with the airgun? One-Eyed Man—l am, sir. “1 should think you would bo on the watch for him, hereafter.” “Yes, I am keeping an eye out for him.”—[Chicago Tribune. GAVE IT UP AND GUESSED IT. “What does a volcano do with luva?” asked Freddy. “Give it up,” replied his father. “That's right,” said Freddy.—[Harper's Young People. A POINT WELL TAKEN. “You are trying to break your uncle’s will, L believe?” “ Yes.” “How did lie leave his money?” "He left it all to build a monument to himself.” "And you expect, to break the will?” “Certainly. Wo make the point that, no man deserves a monument who thus ! ehouts his relatives.” [Now York Press. HOME DAY. Perhaps some day a blizzard hold Will come and permanently freozo The man who talks of days more cold— Yes, many times us cold as these. —1 Washington Star, j THE GENIAL CAB DiirVElt,

Smith —A now motor for increasing the speed of horse ours has boon discovered. •Jones —Has it! Well, the horse cars don't need it up my way. All I have to do to increase the speed of the cars is to signal to the driver with my umbrella that I want to get on board.—[Texas Siftings. QUITE TIIK OPPOSITE. “After all the talk about marriage being a failure 1 don't soo that marriage is declining." “No, marriage is not declining; it is the result of accepting.”—[New York Press. PERHAPS HUE WAS SARCASTIC. “You’ve been courting six years you say, and proposed to her last night. Did she accept you! 1 ” ‘She has taken till to-night to think about if." “What did she say when you asked her?" “She said, ‘This is so sudden!’ ” AN RAH KOU MI’SIC. Hicks—l think the baby has a good ear for music. Mrs. Hicks From what do you judge, dear? . Hicks—Whenever you begin to play, he howls. KIXINU TIIINUS. Customer (,in restaurant) —See hero, Mr. Proprietor, this steak is so tough, 1 can scarcely cut it. Proprietor—We'll make that all right, sir. Here, waiter, just hand this gentleman another knife. , I.IKK WO ILK IIK 1101.1.0 W WITHOUT lIKR. Fireman—Now then, one at a time — hurry up, if you all want to get out alive! Mr. lJenthayre—Save the cook fust; we may never be able to get another one!—[Puck. A HOMELY COM I* ARISON. ‘Jeweller —This watch don’t require a key. You wind it by turning the stem, so. Jason (in high glee)—Just like a calf, ain't it? Twist its tail an’ away it goes. —[Jewellers’ Weekly. a woman’s - letter. “Mary,” called the husband upstairs, “ why don't you come down ? Haven't you finished your letter yet ?’’ “I finished' the letter long ago." “What keeps you, then ? ” “I am writing tho postscript.” “Gracious me! Have I got to mind this baby two hours longer?”—[New York Press. tiie same, but smaller. “What a beautiful carriage that is!” “Oh, I’ve owned many of them in iny time.” “Had a big stable and coach-house, eh?” “Oil, no—had fourteen children!”— [Rider and Driver. REPENTED IN HASTE. He—They married in haste. She—And repented ut leisure, I suppose? He—No; their repentance wua quite as knsty as their marriage.—ITruth.

REASON FOB BROODING. “There are times when ho is very gloomy.” “I don't wonder. He calls himself a self-made man.” A QUEER VIEW OF IT. “Ho is a very sick man.” “Yes, but the fact that he hangs on so long is favorable to his recovery.” “I think the* contrary. He grows weaker every day, and the longer he lives the greater chance there is of his dying.” CONTENTMENT. 1 pushed the wavy golden lock From off her forehead fair, And whore a had lately been A kiss 1 printed there. 1 held the tresses shining fair As yellow buttercup; “ Was that a good kiss, love? ” said I, And she replied, “Bang up.” —[New York Herald. A FITTING RESPONSE. Smith (beyond) —Hullo! there’s Jones; he wanted that now suit badly. Brown—Yes; and lie’s got it “badly.” SCARCELY SYMPATHETIC. Miss Leftover —For more than twenty years this golden circlet with its spark of living light had been a bud of promiso. It will yet blossom and bear rich fruit. Mrs. Do Witt —Indeed? I should think the frosts of so many winters would have blasted it?—Jewollers’ Weekly. gkoruk’s ardor. Bolle—George says ho loves the ground I tread upon. Blanche—That’s unfortunate, for your father will bo certain to insist on your moving right after the wedding. CRUEL. Effio (to Mrs. Belwoather, who Ims just been spouking of Mr. B.) —Why, Mrs. Bolwoathor, I thought you hadn’t any husband. Mrs. B.—Why, of course, T have, Kftie. Do you mqan to say. that you don’t know Mr. Bolwoathor? Effio—Yes, but 1 didn’t suppose tliut ho was your husband. 1 thought you hadn’t any. Papa said you married for money, und that was all you got. WHY DICK TOOK HIS TIME. Wifo—l wonder why littlo Dick doesn't come home. 1 want him to run on a lot of errands. Husband —Doos ho know it? Wifo—Yes; l told him before ho wont to school. Husband (who was once a boy himself) —You might have had more sense. —[Good News. WHO IS HE? Mrs. Herd so—Who is this boy Motion that wo read so much about? Mrs. Suidso—What do you road about him? Mrs. Hordso lie seoins to bo always being adopted. TRULY A HELPMATE. Husband My dear, we’ll have to economize. Wiso —Well, let’s smoko loss. —[Puck. HE didn’t WONDER. “I do not sleep well at night?" said the lawyer to his physician. “Which side do you lie on?” “I cun lie on either; it doosn’t muko any difference.” •• . cs, I ought to have kuown that. 1 don’, woiide' tliut you can t sleep.” — [Net- York Press.

Lapps at Home.

\V*u visited a Lapp eiioainpincut nt Trornso. Tho schoolboy whoso composition on tho noblo rod man said “ Tho Indian washos only once ti year; l wish I whs an Indian,” should alter his wish mid petition to bo a Lapp, t’orthoro is urt extornal evidence tliut the latter washes more than once a lifetime, and that at ids birth when lie is entirely defenceless. In tho summer a camp of the wandering Lapps drive several hundred of their reindeer to a valley only a few miles from Trornso, and it was there that we saw them. They are huddled in domo-shaped huts of stone, turf und birch hark, full of smoko from ft tire in tho contor of the hut, which finds an exit only through a hole in the top of tho structure and through tho door when it is opened. They have tho yellowish complexion, high cheek bones and low forehead of tho Mongolian race. They are short in stature, dirty, vermin-brood-ing and wretched. Tho reindeer is their support and treasure. Tho uidmul supplies them with milk, meat, clothes nnd transportation. Nearly everything that they need is made from some part of this useful uidmul. There particular Lapps earn something by the sale to summer tourists of the sliin and articles made from tlie horns of the reindeer. The nomadic Lapps and Finns of northern Norway and Sweden are comparatively few in number, miserable, somi-hurburous. But the Finns in Russian Finland, whom we saw afterward on our way from Stockholm to St. Petersburg, arc a very different sort of people, settled traders and fishermen, with well-built oitiesof considerable size, like Helsingfors.—[Washington Star.

She Knew Mr. Simpson.

Two refined-looking ladies sat in tho members'gallery of tho House of Representatives picking out the vurious statesmen on the Hour with the aid of tho chart in tho Congressional Directory. A rather loudly attired young lady sauntered in and took a seat beside them. “Do tell me where Jerry Simpson is,” exclaimed the newcomer; “1 have hoard so much about him.” One of the ladies pointed out tho Alliance Kansan in the arena beneath. “Oh no, that isn't Jerry Simpson,” protested the loud young lady confidentially. “I would know him booausolhave seen his piotures.” “And 1 have known Mr. Simpson for some time myself,” replied tho lady. “Well, lie does not Boom to be such a budlooking man after nil,” tho vociferous young lauy commentod after a oaroful scrutiny. “I wonder if he brought his wife with him.” "I believe she is in tho city,” tho quiet lady assorted. “I would like to soe hor, too. They do say she isn’t so very awful. How do you supposed she likes all the tilings the papers say about him." And the fashionable maiden rattlod away sevorni conjectures in regnrds to Mrs. Simpson. “She doesn’t mind it,” responded the elder lady. “Do you know Mrs. Simpson, too?” Inquired tho young sightseer. “Very well,” remarked the other serenely. “I am Mrs. Simpson." Tho following proceedings were bereft of interest for the one in inodish array, who did not stand on the order of her departure.—[Washington Post.

CHILDREN’S COLUMN.

A DEPARTMENT FOR LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS. Something that Will Interast the Juvenile Members of Every Household Quaint Actions and Alright Saying* of Cote Children. «Little Dan!” I’m a hoy ’bout ae high as a table; My hair Is the color of flax; My name Isn’t Bhaßspoare or Milton, Or Byron, or Shelly, or Saxo, By and by It will be “Mr. Daniel—" The / call me now “Little Dan;” I’ll tell you In rhyme what I fancy Will happen when I am a man. I’ll have a big garden for peaches, And cherries and everything nice; With the cutest of fixings for rabbits, And pigeons, and togs, and white mice. I’ll have a big houscTaml a stable; And of horses the handsomest span That ever you feastod your eyes on, ’Tls likely, when I am a man. A cauo X will twirl In my Angers, A watch-guard shall garnish my vost. No fear of expense shall deter me, My raiment Hhall be of the best, % A ring on my finger shall glisten, And the cunnlngest, sleek black-and-tan Shall trot at my heols as 1 travel, I’m thinking, when I am a maul I’m a hoy, so there’s no use In talking; People snub me as much as they please: For tho toes of my shoes are of copper; And rny stockings c.imo over my kueos. I’ve told you the whole of my story, As I promised to when I began. I’m young, but I’m dally a-growlng— Look out for me when I’m u man.

I*oll te Boys. George and Henry Grafton, to fill their time during vacation and to make a little money, set up a candy and pop-corn store with their parents’ permission in an unoccupied shop on the village street. “Now,” said George, “we shall have a good many ladies among our customers, and it won’t do to let the men smoke in here.” “Oh, no,” said Henry, “we’ll put up a big sign, ‘No smoking allowed.’ ” “I guess we’d better be a little more polite in our notice,” said George, “so that we sha’n’t offend our smoking customers.” The boys put their heads together te invent a polite “no-smoking” notice, and at last, with a pleasing sonso of having done exactly the right thing, hung up the following neatly lettered inscription: ; CUBT MERB WILL PLEASE TARE NOTIBE .* :that if they wish to hm kh in here they: : WILL pleas either : KX3TIXGUIBH THEIR PIPE i OR ELBB : ; GO OUTDOORS. The Smallest Man. Bcbe Is supposed to have been the smallest man who ever lived, says the Philadelphia Record. He was born by a peasant woman in Lorraine just 150 years ago, and was called Hebe because the lirst few years of his life he could articulate only “b-b.” The day of his birth Bebe was smaller than his mother’s hand. Ton days afterward he was takep to the village church to ho baptized, in his mother’s wooden shoe, because he was too tiny to be carried safely in her arms. During tho next six months the same wooden shoe served as Bebe’s crib. When Bebe was about 7 years old, King Stanislaus Lesczlnskl of Poland made him “court dwarf.” At the time of his Introduction to court life Bebe was twenty inches tall, and weighed eight pounds. He never grew larger. Bebe had a sweet little voice, a good car for music, and nimble legs. IJe could dance and sing with the best of the King’s courtiers. Ho was very useful as a table ornament at all the King’s great banquets. His most famous appearance in this rather curious role took place at a dinner which Stanislaus gave to tho ambassador of a great power. Tn the middle of the table was an immense sugar castle. Shortly before the guests rose to leave the door of the castle opened and a knight in full armor stepped out with a drawn sword in his right hand. All the guests thought the knight must be some wonderful automaton which the King had obtained from the skilled mechanics across the Rhine. He wasn’t, however. He was none other than little Bebe. Ho walked around the table, shook the sword in tho face of every guest, saluted the King, and then turned back to the castle entrance, where ho assumed the position of sent ry. At a signal from the King every one at tho table began to bombard him with small sugar balls. Bebe hurried at once into the castle, locked tho door, mounted thp tower, and pretended to return the tire by setting off a lot of perfumed explosives. In Paris a lady of the French court had been holding him in her lap between the courses of a court dinner. Suddenly she rose to leave the room. Her first step was accompanied by a shrill cry from the folds of her gown: “Your majesty, your majesty, this lady has stuck me in her pocket and Is running away with me.” The voice was Bebe’s. He was Immediately dragged from the court lady’s pocket and placed under the guard of two pages, who were instructed by King Stanislaus to watch Him day and night. To drive away melancholy Bebe was married to Therese Souvray, a dwarf of about his own age and slightly greater stature. That was the last drop in Bebe's cup. Two week after his marriage he lost his mind. He ceased to talk entirely, ate little, and spent most of his time in his crib. His honeymoon was barely up when he died at the age of 21. His wife, Therese, survived him forty-two years.

To tlio Point. Frederick Bond has a son who is a marvel of precocity. Like all proud parents, he has a choice collection of anecdotes in which his offspring is the central figure, and the talented Lewis, during the eight years of his earthly career, has supplied his father with material for a large number of pretty good stories. His latest flash of juvenile brilliancy is in the shape of a letter written to his father while upon the road. It is one of the most absolutely direct epistles ever penned, and if all letter-writers followed the principle enunciated by the astute Lewis, the saving in ink and paper per annum would pay off a large part of the national debt. Here It is: “N. Y., Dec. 1, ’9l.—Pa: I write you as I have nothing to do. I close because I have nothing to say. Lew. * —New York Commercial.