Democratic Sentinel, Volume 16, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 January 1892 — HUMOR OF THE WEEK. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR OF THE WEEK.

STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. , Many 064. Carious, and Laughable Phases of Hniuau Nature Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day. No Way Out of It. Briggs—“l hear that Mr. and .Mrs. Bramble missed the steamer to’ Florida because her gown wasn’t dppe. ” Griggs—*What did they do, take the next steamer?” > : Briggs—“ No. They had to pay the dressmaker. ” —Cloak Review. She Knew the Rest. He was getting $6 a week at the ribbon-counter and he had proposed to the girl. She knew his financial condition and rejected him. “There’s nothing in life to me now,” he wailed, “except wormwood and gall.” “Ah,” she replied with a sneer, “may I ask where you get the wormwood?”—Detroit Free Press. A Good Wily to Try Him. Mr. Wood ware—That young fellow you have in your office is the most conceited puppy I ever ran across, i Mr. Queensware—Yes, I know; but you must remember he is young yet and his character is not fully formed. He has never been tried by tire. Wocdware—Then you’d better >flre him.—Good News. I Unexpected Result. “There,” he said fondly, “just to show you how much I thought of you I took your picture with my new instantaneous camera. Here it is.” “DfY yah ihink’it'looks like ffie?” she inqfth'cel, almost tearfully, “Why— er—yes, qf course.” >• ■ “Then all is over. I' can not be yours. It must be my money and not inyVlf that yofi seek/’—New York Sun. ,'! > ~ v s t ; An Important Uem. f Alienist—l she nothing in the patient'to denote., insanity. a Inquirer—You’re stfre ’’of that, are you, Doctor? I’m particular about tfiis filing; ,jou know, because she is my wife. ‘ important, though even that may indicate only temporary aberration.—

A’sktuifc'Cvu Mtfiih. 1 Tj6kM£?Nf*sliKyou ftWffifcfcuy a ticket'tb the feoficert to-th(bi t row-&ight. it is;toJW.« benefit for MrUScrMober; k Witikljes—JusfiTosjgSfte wife? Well, bow many benefits; Jfoes ha' want. Boston Courier. r: ■3 —"T-t ./iv : i < , HU Reputa ion. A seedy-looking. citizen passed by an office window on Woodward avenue where a. pouple of men . were looking out. . [Y “Isn’t that. Bill Smith?” inquired one of them, evidently not a resident. 1 “Yes. He used to be quite a politician when you were here, but his reputation is completely lost now.” “Is that so? Well, if it was anything like it was when I knew him 1 I should think it would have made a j good deal better man of him to have ; 16st it.'*—Detroit Free'Pres®. '■ ■ ’ % r * WV? What Next? 1 “Adolph has proposed, papa, ” she told har fathej. ; “Hedias, ” commented thepldirran. “And fte’s now anxious to Wed)'ls he? Well, well. First he studied painting, then he tried to build airships; next they put him in an insane asylum and at present he wants to marry you. ” —Exchange. Her Selection. Mrs. De Fine—“ Here’s my new bonnet. Isn’t it a darling. Only $28.” Mr. De Fine—“ Great snakes! You said bonnets could he bought at from $3 up.” Mrs. De Fine—“ Yes, dear. This is one of the ‘ups.’” New York Weekly. A Frivolous Sot. “These firemen must be a frivolous set,” said Mrs. Spillikins, who was reading a paper. “Why so?” “I read in the paper that after the fire was under control th<’ firemen played all night on the ruins. Why didn’t they go home and go to bed like sensible men, instead of romping about like children?”—Scraps. * A New Boarder. Jinks—That fellow Sillipate is the most foolish, inexcusable fool I ever saw. Winks—What has he been doing to you? Jinks —A few days ago some one invited him to dinner at our board-ing-house. Well, sir, that idiot just praised every dish on the table, and complimented the landlady on her cooking until she raised ber : ,term3 $2 a week.—Scraps. o A Brother’s Part. Sweet Girl—George, although I refused to marry you, I promised to be a sisfM to you, you know. Geofge (gloomily)—Y-e-®. “Anfl you know you said 1 might, and you said you’d be a brother to me.” , “Did I?” “Yes, f’m sure you, said something like that/’ .“WelCril try.” * “That’s real good of you. Can you spare a little time for me now?” “A life time if you ask it. ” “No, only a few hours.” “Cerfelflly. What is it you want?" “That hooked-nosed old lady over there with green goggles, is my chaperon. I wish £du’d take her off and flirt with her this evening, so I can have a little chat with Mr. Hansom.” New York Weekly.