Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 January 1892 — Page 6

aftelcmocratitJeiitiitel: RENSSELAER, INDIANA. J. W. McEWEN, - Publisher.

HUNTING IN WYOMING.

FROM FT. M’KINNEY TO POWDER RIVER FORK. ■torlm of the Stage Hoad—The Feeding Ground of the Antelope—Chasing a I>eer at the Drop of a Hat—A Tenderfoot’s tuck. Endurance of a Wounded Antelope. We had been enjoying the ho pitality of Colonel J. J \an Horn, the comn andanta'i Fort McKinney, writes Charles E. Nixon in the Chicago Inter Ocean. Up to six months ago Fort McKinney was the most remote front : er poet, be ng over 200 miles from the railway: now the distance has been reduced one-lialf. In the surroundings contributing i o comfort, amid so much good taste showing the handiwork of refined and in enious woman, one cou d hardly reali: e that we were 700 miles from the nearest city. Omaha; that the ladies of the post had been accustomed to do their shopping entirely through the problematical medium of a price-I.st, wi h an expro s

company as a messeng r. You women of cities think of being denied the privilege of overhauling shelves of sifks. car- j ryi%g off dozens of samples, and hov. ring about Monday's “barga : n counters” as thick as leaves in \ai untrosa! The wives and daughters of the military are brought up in a more heroic school of denial, but one that Is more satisfactory In results, judging from the genuine comforts of household eouipment, the ! science of cookery, and the go d taste displayed in toilets. Eevenons a nos moutons —we were invited to engage in a hunt, and Frank Grouard, chief of scouts, the hero of a hundred hair-breadth escapes by flood and field, was called in for eonsu'tation. We had a wild longing to scale the heights of the Big Horn and track the grizziy to his lair, but tLe scout “sized us up” and intimated that we had better keep out of the mountains and chase the festive deer and antelope. Surely we were In the hands of our friends;i we wisely yielded without debate. Early next morning a cavalcade left the beautiful plateau of F’ort McKinney, lying in the shadow of the snow capped Big Horn, and started south towards the breaks of the Powder River. It was in charge of Capt. G. L. Scott, of the Sixth Oavalry. Oar first camp was thirty miles down the old stage road from Douglas to tort Custer, at Harris Kaneh, the s ene of Captain Burke’s (Eighteenth Infantry) fight in 18(59. Fot over a decade ago the whole country hereabouts was the hanting ground of the Indians. The renegade white man was nearly as bad as the redskin, aud the ;tage was frequently held up in the go-d od times The ranch houso is a long, low log structure; the store or bar pre-empts the larger portion of the building, and the annex Is the dining room where transients are treated. The front door is as heavy as the side walls and has chain locks, a device to furni h the man on the inside some advantage over his visitors. It Is historic, like the doors of the Theban Templo, but instead of hieroglyphics it is tilled fu lof bullets and

buckshot cards of visitors and reciprocal compliments from the inmates Tne most sensational “pick-up” at this point wartbe work of a “rustler" in the fall of 1887. Major Wamb. United States Paymaster, bad driven up in an ambulance with an os ort The air was tfttnfr cold and the paymaster went into the ranch nouse. accompanied ty most of hiaeacort, leaving a ca>alryman to •tend guard Presently the aromatic odor of onions and venison sto e out opoa tto air, and Harris came to the door aad shouted "all hands for mb." The stableman lo.t no rnm» hi cotUng then; the ahiv

cring soldier scanned the q»untry for miles arouDd; not a man in sight. He walked toward the door; just as his hand touched the latch he heard the sound of horse's feet Out from the stable yard like a flash came a slender young horseman, holding in one hand a small gripsack, in It was 815,000 pay for soldiers that had keen left in the ambulance. Away went the horseman with speed of the wind, up came the carbine to the soldier’s shoulder, the benumbed fingers pulled the trigger, tlie bullet was burled In the dust at the flying feet of the horse. There was a rush of liien.from the house, then another rush for arms, all the work of a minute perhaps, but the horseman was off at long range, zigzagging in his course in a style that made sights and wind gauges superfluous. \\ lm, zip, whiz went the bullets of a fu i lade: the soldiers were shooting to sa'e salary, but in vain; the daring rider only waved a defiant gesture of abomination as he rodo over tho ridge. Before the horses in the distant corral could get their loosened cinches tightened tne robber was over the hills and off toward the mountain fastnesses and was not heard from until two years later in Nebra-ka, where a small fraction of the money was recove, od That night we slept bn tho ground, an l neighbor Harris’ hogs were most attentive ami inquisitive The Captain broke two dubs over one razor back's head, and then dutifully tried to rest with a bunch o: cactus stuck in his heel like a natural spur, a painful souvenir

HUNTING “ITEMS” AND ANTELOPES.

of his reckless barefoot charge in the' dark. In the morning the porkers were | just as naive and frisky as ever. The camp was up betimes next morning, and we were off early in a southerly direction. Toward noon we loft the stage-road and turned southeast. In the afternoon wo saw several bands of anteioie, and the Captain threw up the dust around them at 1,200 yards, hoping | to bring them our way, but with a reckless disregard for his wishes they turned tail In the other direction F'rank Grouard startod after them, and we saw no more of him until that night, when

he came into camp with two fat pronghorns. Now they are as sharp as any newsboys, and instead of cutting circus didos .they move off steadily in a long line without manifesting the pioneer spirit of aceommodat on for the benefit of tho hunter, and when they get a commanding position of four or five miles stop and wink the other eye. Next day we hunted in earnest, the captain and correspondent followed the sun toward the west, Frank Grouard aud Lieutenant Rhodes crossed tho river to the east, l rofessor B. held the fort, and the cavalrymen scoured the country

FRANK GROUARD’S “ROUND-UP."

in a'l directions. How the game got away is a mystery, but it did. Following up the long draws on horseback we saw many deer signs running toward the river, but the fleet and crafty anima's were away back in the~ hills. There were many tracks of mountain ltou, and occasionally a coyote would bark at us and turn tail as a bullet responded to h s welcome. The first day was considered we 1 spent in getting the lay Of the land Grouard, of course, managed to slay a pair of antelope and a deer, and encourage us with the fact that game was about Wa were all In the saddle early the

following morning. The captain bid “Jefferson Davis” farewell, leaving assurance that he would have deer meat for supper. Grouard, myself and Lieutenant Rhodes crossed the powder and were soon threading the iabrynthian draws that led away from the river. Deer signs were quite thick. Grouard was slightly in advance, his keen eyes could fina the track of a wild turkey in tho sage grass, and could teil wheve a deer had trod during the previous fortyeight hours, picking the new out of a puzzling multitude of o d tracks. His gentle “sh, sh,” and quick gesture of the hand indicates something new and warm. A little shadow Hits up the canon “There goes a deer, wait here,” said the guide. Out of the gully and around it in S shape he circles. Crack goes his ride; we ride up just as Grouars is dragging out a small body that looks like a goat, ft is wild and wooly, quiet a young deer, and trie guide pronounced it “the most curious thing” he had ever shot A few minut‘s after lie has skillfully carved the carcass, has the hams on his horse, aud leaves the remains for the great golden eagle that is soaring, hungry overhead. T wo hours later we a pproach the brow of a high hill. “There are some deer over there,” said the guide, pointing with his hand; “be cares ” “Don’t cock your gun!” We dismount, stake the lariated horses, and then half creeping, move toward the edge of the ridge. Now wo are down on our hands and knees “Careful, careful”—we peep over; the Lieutenant is in for it and excited, sure enough Biff, bang, goes his carbine; up jump two bucks, magnificently antlered, and scud off down the hill toward the river with the speed of tho wind. “Quick, to your hores, ” says Grouard, and suiting the action to the word he is on a stooping run for the animals, thirty yards away. Snatching out the pin and gathering in tho lariat as he moves, he is on his horso very quickly. Your correspondent had to hustle, but managed to scramble into the saddle; with a “long Tom” (Springfield rifle) hanging out like the arm of a derrick in one hand and his lariat in the other he had his hands full. In fact, ho had no chance to grasp the bridle, and his horse went down the incline after his fellows at a J. I. C. gait Those two bucks went eight miles before Grouard’s bullets laid them low, in the river bottom. The Captain had been lucky, and our party had managed to pile up a backboard full of game, that was sent to Fort McKinney next day. Coming in that evening Lieut. Rhodes and myse f had a wild chaso through the timber, but the deer got away.

Again we are in an antelope country. The correspondent had been practicing with his rifle The Lieutenant could down the ace of spades with his carbine at 200 yards, and he had as yet failed to down a deer or antelope. What hopo had a poor tenderfoot! Grouard cheerfully said, “You. will bring in an antelope to-dN, ” A word like this from a prophet of the plains was inspiring. About 11 o'clock Grouard decried a band of antelope. We took a long circuit, and finally got within 200 yards of them, but firing simultaneously, each breaking an anteiope'3 hind leg. Now to cut them off from the herd. It took hard riding, but the two wounded ones were laggards, ai.d we turned them about. Then it was up hill and down dale for an hour. One of tho animals disappeared as suddenly as if ho had dropped into a hole in the ground. Wo kept on the jump after tho other. St-ange how an antelop; can run and maneuver on three legs. This one kept us on the move, through prairie dog towns, droves of jack rabbits, up gullies and down hills for eight miles. But we gained on tho. antelope; lie tried to play with my sympathies, but ho was doomed, Grouard circled about the animal like a hawk, and filled tne air with laughter. 1 fired several shots from horseback,

CAPTAIN SCOTT TAKES AN INVENTORY.

and finally dismounted and resumed th« chase on foot. I was warm; my blool was up. so was my rifle. I tired high-» six shots. F'inally my seventh broke his spine: tho antelope was mine. It was a matinee for Grouard; it was extremely exciting for mo; it was a tragedy for the poor antelope. At any rate, I had shot the largest antolopo of the outfit. and was crowned by a tine pair ot horns. That night there was joy in my dreams. One thjng to be certain of is that game, in the wild West, does not hunt the hunter under the conditions that our party experienced. But a dozen antelope and fifteen duor should satisfy for a ten days’ hunt.

Who has not heard the backwoods hunter entertain his open-mouthed and equally as ignorant audience with stories of our “gentle and inoffensive” porcupine, whd “threw his quills until the dogs were covered and left in disgust, howling with pain,” or some other “bosh” to the same effect. How positively he makes t'ne assertion. There can be no doubt .that hunters of this ilk frequently say “bear” when they have seen nothing more formidable than a harmless “ground-hog.” Nature armored our porcupine in a manner that, when excited and with spines raised, woe to the quadruped or biped either, for that , matter, who comes in contact with this bundle of prickers. “Porky’s” body is covered with a thick layer of fat, in which the quills or spines are rather insecurely fastened; Each' spine has a set of minute barbs at the outer end. But touch a spine and it sticks, and can only be removed by force. A dog or fox that lacks experience and undertakes a meal at the porcupine’s expense usually ends by Ailing with spines not only his mouth, but his head and paws as well, and not unfrequently death results from his temerity.— Great Divide.

Railroads did not begin in South America until 1864, but in the little more than quarter of a century that has since elapsed their growth has been extraordinarily rapid. Brazil has now 6,000 miles of railroad in operation, and several thousand more in course of construction or planned. Great rivers favorable to navigation traverse the best parts of the continent, so that the facilities for communication are even better than the railroads constructed would indicate. Never let a wild-looking man get the drop on you with a valise.

The Porcupine.

South American Railroads.

THE KOLA NUT.

Can It Be Made to Take the Plane es Toa and Coffee? A well-known medical Journal Is recommending the kola nut as a substitute for tea and coffee. The nut, it is said, contains little tannin and not much more caffeine. It is claimed that It will soon take the place of tea and coffee entirely. A botanist, who has made a special study of the nut and its properties, said to a Cincinnati Times-Star reporter: “It is a mistake to say that the nut win- take the place of tea and coffee. It has an astringent taste that is unpleasant, and I do not believe that it will ever be used extensively, or at all, in civilized countries. The kola nut is a native of the coasts of Africa, but has been introduced into and thrives well in the West Indies and Brazil. It grows on a tree forty feet high, which produces pale yellow flowers spotted with purple. The leaves of the tree are six or eight inches long, and are pointed at both ends. The fruit consists of five long, slender pods radiating from a common center. One of these when broken open is found to contain several nuts somewhat similar to hazelnuts and of about the same size. The nuts are solid, being slightly softer toward the center than on the outside. “The natives of tlie countries where the nuts grow use them for various purposes. They pass for money in Africa. They are also used as a symbol of friendship and hate, the light colored ones signifying the former, and the dark the latter. They are supposed to aid digestion, and it is the practice to chew a small bit before eating a meal. They allay thirst, and if a small piece be chewed and held in the mouth while drinking, the most bitter and stagnant water can be taken, and will taste sweet and agreeable. I doubt if this quality of rendering stagnant water pure is possible by the nuts. I rather think that the astringent taste of the nut paralyzes the gustatory nerves momentarily, and for that reason the water is not tasted. Hunger they are also supposed to allay, but they do no more than paralyze the nerves. They have a stimulating effect, and when going on long marches the natives chew bits of the nuts continually, and with about the same effect as if intoxicating liquor had been used, though without the same bad results. Powdered kola nut is sprinkled in cuts and wounds and has a healing effect. “A chemical analysis of the nuts shows them to contain 20 parts of caffeine and but a fraction of a part of tannin. No, it will never be used in the place of tea and coffee. Its taste and chemical properties are against it.”

Earthquakes in Japan.

During the nine years and six months preceding December, 1884, there had occurred in Japan, according to the official statement published by the government, 553 earthquakes, averaging one earthquake for every six days and six hours. Professor Milne was able to make the average even greater than this, according to a writer in the Illustrated American. He could trace an average of an earthquake per day in Nagasaki, in the extreme south of the Japanese Archipelago. Probably the official statistics were compiled from the returns of offieials from all over the country, in which case only those shocks which caused loss of life or damage to property would be included. If this hypothesis be correct, we should have an average of more than one earthquake per week, which was so violent that it caused injuries to life or property sufficiently serious to attract the attention of the local authorities, and, in their judgement, to require a report to the central government. Earthquakes being so common people scarcely notice them unless they he extraordinary severe ones. For instance, Miss Bird in her “Unbeaten Tracks” thus summarily dismisses two: “While we were crossing the court there were two shocks of earthquake; all the golden wind bells which fringe the roofs rang softly, and a number of priests ran into the temple and beat various kinds of drums for the space of half an hour.” As every one knows, Japan is the very hearth of earthquakes. In 1854 more than sixty thousand people lost their lives in consequence of one of these great terrestial catastrophes, and it has been calculated that from ten to twelve earthquakes, each lasting several seconds, occur every year, besides numerous others of too light a nature to be worthy of remark.

Useful Insects.

Nearly all the lace-wings, which include the ant-lions, aphis-lions, dragon flies, etc., are a benefit, living wholly on other insects, and so help preserve our crops. Most of the locust order are destructive, yet even here we find the curious preying mantis, common at the South, with its jaw-like anterior legs, one of the first of predaceous insects. True, it attacks bees also, though it certainly does much more good than harm? Several bugs, like the great wheel bug and the, soldier bug, feed exclusively on other insects. Of the beetles, the beautifully spotted lady-bird beetle, the black, long-legged ground beetles, the quick, fierce tiger beetles, and a few others, are valuable aids in holding our insect pests in check. One may repeatedly see the grubs of the ground beetles eating cut-worms. The good work of the pretty lady-bird beetles in destroying the pestiferous plant lice can hardly be too much appreciated. Of the two-winged flies we have the tachina flies, which are internal parasites oh other insects; they resemble in form and color the house flies, to which they are closely related. These also prey upon eut-worms, laying their eggs on the caterpillars, and, as these eggs hatch, the maggots eat into their host and destroy its life. Two other families of two-winged flies do much good in eating other insects. The robber flies are so fierce and strong they destroy even the honey bee, while the conical maggot of the pretty yellow-banded syrphus flies feed upon the plant lice to an extent surpassed by few other insects; they are nearly or quite equal to the iady-blrd beetles as aphis destroyers. Among the highest order of insects —the one that includes the bees and wasps—we have the ichnuemon flies

and the chalcids—wasp-like insects that are parasites and do incomparable good. They are of all sizes and prey upon almost all kinds of insects. They are far more helpful to the farmer than are the tachina flies. They saved the wheat crop in Ohio, Michigan, and Indiana in 1889. The wasps also belong to this order, and do much good; indeed, we think we may say that the wasps are only our friends. They are dreaded needlessly, for, unmolested, they rarely, if ever, sting. We have seen wasps carry off slugs and tent caterpillar in great numbers. Every farmer should become acquainted with these friends and learn their habits, that he may help—not hinder—their good work.— Great Divide.

Enormous Power of Water.

The enormous power of a stream of water forced from a hydraulic nozzle, under from 200 to 300 feet or more of pressure, as sometimes used in hydraulic mining in this State, is something almost beyond belief. The quantity of water passing through these nozzles in a single day of mining is immense. A stream of 400 feet vertical pressure delivers a blow of upward of 500,000 pounds—equivalent to about 1,000 horse power. Louis Glass, who for sixteen years was superintendent of one of the large mines in this State, says that he has seen an eight-inch stream, under 311 feet of vertical pressure, move in a sluggish way a two-ton bowlder at a distance of twenty feet from the nozzle, and that the same stream, striking a rock of 500 pounds, would throw it as a man would throw a twentypound weight. “No man that ever lived,” adds Mr. Glass, “could stride a bar through one of these streams within twenty feet of discharge, and a human being struck by such a stream would be pounded into a shapeless mass.” Mr. Augustus J. Bowie, of this city, the author of a standard book on hydraulic mining, says it would be absolutely impossible to cut such a stream with an ax or to make an impression on it with any other instrument. Mr Bowie adds that, although never to his knowledge has a man been struck by a stream as it comes from the pipe, several accidents have occurred where miners were killed by very much smaller streams at a distance of 150 to 200 feet from the nozzle. Professor Christy says he has often tried to drive a crowbar into such a stream, and it felt as solid as a bar of iron, and, although he could feel the point of the crowbar enter the water for perhaps half and inch, the bar was thrown forward with such force that it was almost impossible to retain it in the grasp. An ax swung by the most powerful man alive could not penetrate the stream; yet it might be cut by the finger of a child, if the child were seated on a railway train moving parallel with the stream in the same direction and with the same velocity. That velocity would be considerably more than a mile a minute. The statements presented in the above summary will not astonish engineering experts; the average citizen, however, is accustomed to regard water as the least destructive liquid that can be put in motion, and he is familiar with no stronger manifestation of its power than the velvety touch of a stream from the city faucet. It might occur to a military man that such a powerful & agent might be made a most terrible military agent for offense or defense, at short range, if it could only be brought to bear, as indeed it might be, by a powerful steam engine in a beleaguered fort or on board a battleship with an enemy close alongside.— Great Divide.

Came Back in a Saucer.

When I was in Atlanta, Ga.,«ome time ago, said Mr. Constine, I was invited by a friend to visit a peach cannery in which he was employed. After I had completed my tour of the cannery I missed a valuable charm that I had been wearing on my watchchain. I was sorry to lose it, for it was the gift of a dead sister. I offered a liberal reward, but to no purpose. I returned home, and gave up all hope of recovering it. About two months ago I came to the Pacific coast on business. 1 I arrived in Seattle about two weeks ago, since which time I have been visiting friends who live near Yesler avenue. Yesterday noon I was down town and stepped into a restaurant for lunch. After eating a very hearty lunch I called for peaches and cream. I started to eat the peaches, and was in the act of cutting one when the spoon struck some hard substance. I worked the substance out and held it up to the light. It was my missing charm. The story is a strange one, and I certainly should hardly be willing to believe it myself if it were told to me by a stranger, but nevertheless every word of it is strictly true. The only way I can account for the mysterious disappearance and recovery of the jewel is that it became detached when I was watching the operation of a new coring and paring machine in which I was much interested, and fell among the peaches without my noting it and was thus strangely recovered.

War Records as Blotters.

The eternal Unfitness of things is sometimes illustrated in the most ridiculous manner. During the war there were thousands of great volumes of various kinds in which were kept the records of the army movements, the killed, injured, etc. Some of these were never used, and they have found their way into the most unheard-of places and put to all sorts of uses. In the northwest section is a little corner grocery which does a credit business to some extent. Upon the counter is one of the old war hooks ruled and printed for a record of the killed and wounded. Each page is not less than twenty inches square, and in this book are kept the accounts of the grocer with his customers, the pencil used being one of those huge affairs made of graphite which carpenters carry. The grocer calls the book his blotter, and every time a customer has a moment to wait this “blotter,’’ lying open before the public, receives a critical inspection. The contents do not agree with the caption over the title page, unless, probably, during the season for watermelons and green corn.—Washington Post

THE BRAVE JACK TAR.

Risking Hl* Life to Bury the Corpse of an Enemy. After the repulse of one of the furious assaults at Acre, says a writer in Good Words, the dead body of a French officer was left lying in a prominent position between'the walls and the besiegers’ trenches. The body lay there - for a day or two and attracted much attention. It was 6poken about on board the Tigre, which lay off Acre, and the matter made an impression difficult to account for on the simple superstitious mind of Kehy. Only the very smartest men had been sent ashore to assist in the defense, and Kelly was not among these. But one day he begged for and obtained leave to go jn shore. As soon as he entered the town he procured a shovel, a pickax, and a coil of rope, walked straight to the ramparts, and, declining all offers of assistance, lowered himself from an embrasure. The firing at the moment was fast and furious. As Kelly set foot upon the ground and, shouldering his tools, walked deliberately toward the dead body a dozen French muskets were pointed at him. One of the enemy’s commanders, however, divining the sailor’s intentions, ordered his men to shoulder arms. In an instant both sides, as if by some common impulse, ceased firing, and Kelly, the object of breathless attention from friend and foe, stopped beside the Frenchman’s corpse. He then coolly and calmly dug a grave, put the officer into it, covered him up, and taking from his pocket a small piece of board and a bit of*chalk wrote on the board “Here you lie, old Crop,” and put at the head of the grave this rough-and-ready memorial. “Old Crop” was no doubt honest Kelly’s rendering of “Crapaud,” the French for a frog, and a nickname with the sailors for all “mounseers.” This pious duty done, he shouldered his implements again, walked back as deliberately as he had come, and disappeared within the embrasure. The firing recommenced and men thirsted once more for another’s blood. Sir Sidney Smith, the very man to delight in such an adventure, sent for Kelly and questioned him about it. The simple-hearted tar could only wonder that others could find anything to wondex at in his exploit. “You were alone, were you not?” said Sir Sidney. “No, I was not alone,” answered Kelly. “I was told you were,” protested the commodore. “No, I wasn’t alone,” was the reply; “God was with me.”

Mountain-Top Observatories.

Of late the importance of getting high up in the air in order to study some phases of the weather has been specially recognized, and the number of mountain observatories constructed for that purpose is fast increasing. There are four such observatories in France, one being on the celebrated Pic du Midi. There is a meteorological observatory on Ben Nevis in Scotland, from which full and regular reports are issued, and a very important one on the mountain callfed the Sonnblick in Austria. In this country we have such an observatory on Pike’s Peak, at an elevation of more than fourteen thousand feet, and another on Mount Washington, sixty-three hundred feet high. The latter has been closed during the winter for several years, but there is now a good prospect that it will soon be in operation once more the year rouud. The loftiest of all observatories will be one that is to be constructed on Mont Blane.

The great importance of these lofty weather stations arises from the fact that in lowlands and valleys the heavy, dust-laden air, while yielding to the impulses communicated to it from the freer currents above, is so much subjected to the local influences of the surface with which it is in contact, that only with exceeding difficulty can any conclusions be found as to the general causes of weatbei changes. On mountain-tops one stands immersed in the free atmosphere, and can study the aerial motions and currents to better advantage. One great difficulty to be overcome is the severity of the winter season at great elevations. The observers have to face winds of terrific force, to contend with enormous falls of snow, and to endure intense cold. Electricity has partially solved the problem by enabling such instruments as the anemometer, which measures the velocity of the wind, to telegraph automatically their records to a station at the foot of the mountain. Mr. T. Proctor Hall has suggested an ingenious method by which the barometer on a mountain-top might also be made to telegraph down the changes in the pressure of the air, while a thermometer, in like manner, should transmit to the observer information as to the temperature prevailing thousands of feet above him. But whether men have to live all winter on the mountains, or succeed in getting the required records by automatic electric signals flashed from the exposed instruments, it is evident that such observations will in future be obtained, in one way or another, with increasing regularity, because only with their aid can the science oi the weather be perfected—Youth’s Companion.

That Ended the Lesson.

There is a charming young widow in South Minneapolis who retains a five-year-old girl as the only pledge of her dear departed, says a writer in the Tribune of that town. The little one has just begun to learn her alphabet. A, gentleman called upon the widow tlif. other evening. Of course the fond mother wanted to show ofl her child. Taking up a newspapei and pointing to the big letters in an advertisement the mother said: “What letter is that?” “A,” responded the child. ’’What comes after A?” “B.” “And what comes next?” “C,” lisped the little one. The inquiry was pursued still further, but along toward the end of the alphabet the littfe girl lost her bearings and never answered a question. Finally the gentleman thought he would put a few questions. He began with this one: “What comes after T?” The child looked him straight in the eyes as she answered: “A man to see mamma.* The lesson in English literature was not prolonged.

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. Jokes and Jolre’ets that Aro Supposed to Have Been Recently Born- Say Inert and Doings that Are Odd. Curioua and 1-anghable. The Trouble with Dress Keform. Mr. Savelittle—Well, my dear, did you go to that dress reform lecture, as I suggested? Mrs. Savelittle—Yes, and it was very interesting. “What do you think of the idea?” “The reform dress is certainly sensible, convenient and decidedly becoming, but ” “Well, what’s the ‘but?’ ” “I can’t see, my love, how such a simple garment can be made to cost enough to be respectable.”—New York Weekly. For Private Circulation. Landlady—l am afraid those towels are too small. Clerk—They are our regular size for boarders, madam. Landlady—l know. But I want them for myself. —Cloak .Review. Talking: Horao. Tommy—Pa, some ladies told ma to-day that you were ,the better horse of the two. What did they mean by that? Pa—They meant, Tommy, that I was so gentle that even a lady could manage me.—Epoch. Suited to Each Other. “When lovers exchange love letters it is evident that they are suited to each other.” “Howisdhafc?” , ; “BecAhse they-coraespond with each other. ”—€ape Cod Item. A Corinrtiian X'avorite. Muffers—You seehi to bfe decidedly popular with the Corinthian yachtsmen—always being invited o\t for a sail. PuffcrsA-Jf-c-s. I’ weigh three hundred pound and kndw enough to keep on the windward side of the boat.—Street & Smith's Good News.

A Hitch ill Tra me. v “Is it true, ” said the reporler, rushing breathlessly into the railroad superintendent’s office, “that 'there was a tie-up on the road last night?” “Yes,” responded the.official,- H there was. Our Agent at Buzzard’s Fork married his type-writer. ” —St. Joseph News. Not Conversant with the Novelty. Customer—l want a clock to run thirty days. Jeweler (politely)—l’m sorry to disappoint you, sir, but we conduct an exclusively cash business, —Jeweler’s Weekly. She Succeeded. Asker—l’ve often wondered how Mrs. Etna would make out in her married life. She’s been married about three years now, hasn’t she? Tasker—About that, yes. “Well, I’ve heard her say, in days gone by, that if she ever had a husband she’d make him stand around.” “She’s succeeded. She’s made him stand around the tavern barroom in preference to enduring the daily anathemas she breeds for the home atmosphere.”—Yonkers Gazette.

“Free trade and protection.”Puck. The Burglar-Alarm. Customer—ls this the latest style of burglar-alarm? Clerk—Yes, sir. “What is the principle of it? " “It rings a hell when the burglar raises the window, and by means of an indicator tells in what part of the house an entrance is being attempted.” “And am I supposed to get out of bed and grapple hand-to-hand in the darkness with the burglar, or burglars?” “Yes, unless you get your wife to do it instead?” “Humph, I guess we’ll make the old style burglar-alarm, the dog, last a little longer. ” —Yankee Blade. Aias» Too True? Penelope—lt Is altogether too fatiguing to walk up Broadway. Perdita—Why? Penelope—There are so manystares on it.—Smith, Gray & Co.’s Monthly. Murder in His Heart. Hackett (savagely)—l want to get some ribbon for my wife’s dog. Clerk—Yes, sir. How will this do? Hackett—Do you think this will bear his weight?—Cloak Review.

A Simile. Mr. Eatall —My dear madam, there is, as usual, -a—er lack- sufficiency on your table. «>-■ * : The Landlady (with afepCrfty)—l do say, Mr. Eatall, that of all things I ever boarded, you, are the worst, with one exception. “And may I know of this one exception?" “Yes. I once boarded a moving train, and I’ve never been well since.” Pittsburgh Bulletin.

Black Pearls.

Black pearls are exceedingly rare, hence desirable. The reader may not know that black pearls are not really black, but vary in hue; some have a shimmering blue light on their surface, while others appear to be green or gray. This harmonious blending of subtle tints gives great value to the -gems. Otjr grand business in life is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at band.