Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 January 1892 — Page 6

gljeJcmocraticScnttittl RENSSELAER, INDIANA. J. W. McEWEN’, - - - Publisher.

THE YOUNG REPUBLIC.

BRAZIL, ITS RIVERS, FORESTS, PEOPLE AND PRODUCTS. -i ___________ A Country Larger than the United States —The Immense Amazon Valley and Its Trackless Woods— Vegetable and Mineral Wealth. A Mighty State. Recent stirring events in Brazil, the overthrow of an old and wel -c tablished government, the foun ation ot a republic, and the pnsuccessful attempt of Its subversion, have given to this faraway country an interest which otherwise it could never have acquired. In shape Brazil closely resembles a heart—a heart of enormous extent, by the way, being near.y 2,700 miles from north to south, nearly the same from east to west, and comprising within its territorial limits about 8,200,000 square miles. Great Britain has more territory, but the dominions of Great Britain are scattered over ail the globe; the Czar lias under his control a greater number of square miles, but they arc contained in two continents; in Brazil alone can it b i said that in one political and geographical division is comprised a greater extent of territory than in any other country on the globe Excluding Alaska Brazil has 800,000 squire miles more of area than has the United States, or, to use a familiar expression, is as large as the United States and one-ha f of Mexico. It is nearly as far from the most northern point in Brazi. to the most southern as from New 1 ork to San Francisco, or from the frontier of Mexico to the Arctic circ e. We are accustomed to think of Brazil as a tropica l country, but as a matter of fact the most northern province of that vast country is almost as far from the equator as the State of Missouri. The coast line is nearly 4, not) miles in length, and a vessel that would sail from Cape Orange to the State of Sao Pedro do Sul must mako a voyage equal in length to that from New York to Liverpool. It is difficult to grasp the Idea of so enormous a country, nor is the i difficulty lessened by a contemplation of j the fact that of this va-t territory more than two-thirds are drained by one river ' system, the greatest m the world Some |

Idea of the size of the Amazon may bo gained from she statement that over 350 rivers, any once of which would elsewhere be deemed a cons'derabie stream, unite to make up this giant anions; rivers. For nearly 4,000 miles, according to Herndon, does the Amazon flow in Brazil and the countries to the west, and some conception of its magnitude may be gained from the fact that 900 miles from its mouth it receives a tributary itself 2,010 miles in length. At Kabta, 2,300 miles from the Atlantic,the Amazon is nearly a mile wide, at the entrance to the Madeira it is three miles, at Santarem it is ten miles, and if the Para River be included in its mouth, it empties into the sea in a gigantic stream 180 miles in width. At frequent points in its lower course it is an inland sea, the low shores of which are not visible from either side, and so eff ctual a barrier is it that until the advent of steam power the peopl ' on the opposite banks had little more intercourse with each other than if they iived on different sides of an ocean.

Brazil is thus the most thoroughly watered country on the globe. So numerous are Its water courses, and so closely do they interlock, that only a few short canals are necessary to enable vessels of considerable size to traverse the interior of the country from end to end- Nor is this all; the magnifi ent Rio Negro, the greatest northern tributary, itself 1,200 miles long, is conn< cted by natural cana s with the Orinoco, so that river or canal transportation is a possibility from the southern extremity of Brazil to t,he north < oast of bouth America. The Amazon is always full; there is no annual rise as in other rivers'; its waters are gathered from every part of a great co itinent, so that when in one region the dry t< rm prevails, In another the annual rains are failing, and Its banks are a,ways ovei flowing. The tide of the ocean is perceptible 450 miles from the mouth and a curious feature of the river is its system of side channels, joining the main river at intervals, so that one may travel for 1.000 milo< from the mouth without ever entering the main stream. It is safer not to do so, for at certain seasons the “bore” or

tidal swell in the river rises in tremendous waves fifteen to thirty feet in height, which sweep everything before them, uprooting tbo stoutest trees and endangering the strongest ship--. The Amazon is the river of a cont nent. it rises within seventy miles of the Pacific, and drains most of South America, and although only partial steam communication ha 3 been established over 10,000 ■tiles of inland water travel have been thus opened up to the world. The whole of the Amazon Valley; which, as already stated, comprises two thirds of Brazil, is one \ast forest of tropical vegetation. A recent traveler says that from the plains of Venezuela to the pampas of the Argentine Confederation there is abewddering dl*ersitypf grand and beautiful trees, at every point intertwined with vines of such prodigious size as elsewhere to be deemed trees, while the matted and creeping plants, draped, festooned; eorded, matted, and ribboned in every dteection, form an almost impassable bar to the progressof the traveler. Long ago Buckle pointed out that the exuberance of nature in a tropical climate, under a burning sun, with water in abundance, was almost as great a barrier to the progress of civilization as the rainless deserts of the Sahara or Arabia. Nature la too abundant When a piece of land, with infinite pains and labor, I has been cleared of the indigenous plants, a thousand species of gra-ses spring up, and by the utmost exertion the husbandman Is unable to save his etop from the weeds. A road must be c eared through fbe forest with the hatchet and machete to enable the traveler and his company to pass, and a few 4*ys later It Is impossible to detect where

the path has b o en made. On one occasion, in the Province of Amazonas, a road was made bv the Government. These, however, are rich beyond ail computation. The world has litt e idea of the vegetable wealth of this mighty

country. The variet'es of timber are a’most w'tbout number, and tho supp.y is inexhaustible. I rof. Agassiz counted on ono piece of land not half a m !e square 117 var.etics of valuable timber, <0

many of which were dark, heavy woods, : s beautiful as rosewood or mahogany, and susceptible of as high a polish. Over j sOO dilloront species of ornamental woods were exhibited at the lastNation- | al E .position he'd in Brazil, and even i this exhibition was believed not to ox-

THE “SUGAR-LOAF” AT RIO JANEIRO.

haust the number. Nor is tho forest wealth of Brazil exhausted with the list of solid and ornamental woods. Medicinal plants are numerous, and their products are of immeriso value. The sireat macharandui a, which towers above the other trees of the forest like toe dome of

a cathedral above the houses of a city, when tapped, supplies a whlt'sh liquor whioh, fresh from the tree, is drunk like milk; allowed to remain unt 1 coagulated, it provides an excellent article of rubber. Woods, fruits, rezins, dyes, oils, essences are in exhaustless profusion, and had Brazil no other source of wealth than her forests, these would be sufficient to insure her untold wealth. From the forests of the Amazon tho houses of the world could be built, and filled with

the most elegant of furniture; its vegetable wealth would clothe the world's people in garments of cotton or flax; its fruits would supply all Europe; and the fish of its waters would keep from famine the millions of Asia. The wonderful abundance has prevented settlement Time and again have efforts been made to establish colonies on the banks of the Amazon, but in vain, and the only inhabitants of the great State of Amazonas, the largest in

A HOME ON THE AMAZON.

THE AMENITIES OF TRAVEL IN THE AMAZON VALLEY.

A BRAZILIAN MIXER.

the Republic of Brazil, are a few wandering tribes of Indians. They will not work. Why should thoy, when on ac- | count of the heat of the climate even the lightost clothing Is almost unendurable, when the nearost shelter is suffi-

A ERAZILIAN GOLD MINE.

cient to protect them from the weather, and when the neighboring forest and the stream before the door supply every want. T.ils Immense province, therefore, ot 700.000 squaro miles has but 70,000 pipq’ation Gran Para, wi h 40('.(0) square miles of area, has but 320,000, and Maranhao, with 108,00 U, has only 385,000, the three Amazon provinces, with an area larger than that of the United Mates c ast of the Mississippi, having a total of 775,000. Most of those aborigines are as yet unconquored; they are savages in the wildest sense of tlio word; v/arl.ko, revongef,ul; ma iv of them are cannibals, and alfcaro dreaded by the whites, who srevvly and with great difficulty, have been able to drive them back, but never ty civilize them. Politically, Brazil i 9 divided into twenty States an I offer■■“neutral municipality,” the boundaries following those of tlio provinces which constituted the Empire. There is an enormous discrepancy both in the size and in the population of the States, however, from the enormous State of Amazonas, with its sparse population, to the petty State of Lergipe, which lias only 39.000 sjuaro miles, though its population, 375,000, compares favorably with that of several which aro, in geographical extent, greatly its superior. The total population of the republic is 9,913,000. which, considering its size, is very scanty, and to bo accounted for by the extent and uninhabitabllity of the forests which constitute the valley of the Amazon. Besides the capital there are several cities of much commercial importance At the mouth of the River Amazon, the alluvium of the stream, deposited for age after age, has gradually built up an i-land. whose size may be imagined from the statement that it exceeds the combined area of the Azores, Maleira, Heligoland, Malta and Gibraltar, and opposite to the southern shore of this island, from which it is separated by the 1 ara River, lies the flou'ishing City of Para, the metropolis of tlio Amazon Valley. I ara, though with a population of only 70.000, is an exceedingly important city, since all the trado of the Amazon passes through tlio hands of its merchants, and though its manufactures are insignificant, its exports aro enormous. In the yoar 1888 the exports of rubber alone amounted to 33,000,000 lbs., at a valuation of $0,402,000, while the ex ports of precious woo ls, hides, coffee, sugar and other art c!es rendered the rubber export insignificant by comparison The Mate of Pernambuco, also a maritime State, has a capital of the same name, generally called the Venice of America, on account of the numerous canals which run through it in every direction From Peri ambuco the principal export is sugar, and no small sharo

of the business of its ITO.OOQ inhabitants consists in handling this and the eoffe?, whicli is the next most important article. Among tho important seaports the city of Bahia must take place in the first row. It is located in the State of tho same name, whi h is tho second in pop ulation in the republic, has a popu'ation estimated at IS ',OO , and an enormous trade with Europe. It is singularly favored by nature, having no less than eight spadous harbora, anyone of which will admit ships of twenty feet draught Like most tropical cities, Bahia is not impressive to the sight, at loast so far as the buildings are concerned Few of them exceed one story in height; mest are of slight construction, the materials beirg easily available and very cheap. A few poles, a few walls of interlaced palm leaves, a roof of palm or tiles, and the tropical house in Bahia is complete The city is spread o er a wide extent of ground, since plerty of room is very essent.al.in the tropics, and no dwelling so poor as to be without its shade trees Tho soil of the State is especially well adapted to the growth of the sugar cane, and from one planting five or six crops may be cut before a replanting becomes necessary. It is said that were the price of sugar sufficiently remunerative to justify tho clearing of the ground Bahia could supply the world with sweetness and have some to spare for home consumption. Commercially, the State of Rio do Janeiro is of more importance than any other in the republic. Its lower extremity is on the Tropic of Capricorn, so that the city has a climate almost exactly that of Haiana, which lies under the Tropic of Cancer; ihe State has 300 miles of coast line, an area of 68.000 square miles and a population of 1,164,000, the city itself, the “neutral municipality” already mentioned, having a population of 406,000. Nearly twothirds of the sugar and coffee exports of Brazil find their wav to the outside world through the magnificent harbor of Rio, and in sight of the wonderful Sugar Loaf Mountain, a remarkable natural formation, may be seen at one time the flags of every maritime nation in the world. In 1888 3,320,185 bags of coffee were exported from Rio alone, each bag weighing 132 pounds, and more than two-thirds of the entire export coming to this country. Reciprocity with such a country would pay well, and the sound po.icy which has dictated a commercial

treaty wii! doubtless bear rich fruits in the near future. The city of Rio de Janeiro does not differ greatly from other cities save in such respects as aro incidental to its situation and climate. It is fairly well built, well ligated, and has good communications in the shape of street cars and other conveniences, but the drainage is imperfect, and yellow fever is almost constantly present, though rarely assuming a malignant form. Fevera! natural e’evations in the city give it an extiemoly picturesque appearance, and the abundance of tropical vegetation imparts a luxuriance to the scene w.tnesscd nowhere save under a tropical sky. Besides various nubile institutions founded under the eiqplre and fostered by the liberal polierh.' the rulers, the city can boast of ono of the finest libraries in the world. When the ruling laniily of Portugal emigrated to Brazil tho royal library was taken along, and so the Brazilians have a collection of over 100,000 volumes and manuscripts mostly relating to tho early Portuguese travels and settlements, and, historically considered, of immen.-e value.

Protecting Ships’ Bottoms.

The question of providing some effective method of protecting ships’ bottoms has come to be a matter for serious consideration. The condition of the bottom of the flagship Charleston when taken out of the water the other day at Mare Island is described as astonishing. All sorfajof marine growths, animal and vegetable, covered the entire, wetted surface so thickly that it was impossible to inspect the steel plates; and until these growths shall have been removed, when it is feared more or less corrosion will have set in, this investigation cannot be made? and the problem how to protect the bottoms of our new and costly ships, especially in the Pacific, will he again presented to our naval authorities. One of the modes suggested for overcoming this difficulty is the use of Japanese lacquer. It appears that this idea emanated from a lacquer manufacturer of Tokio, who noted the fact that lacquered objects that have been subjected to sea water were found to be practically uninjured after a considerable period of immersion. Experiments were made on ship plates at the Yokosuka Navy Yard, and soon after the bottom of the Fuso-Kan was lacquered. The result was so satisfactory that many other vessels of the Japanese navy have since been subjected to the same process. Experiments are now in progress with anti-fouling lacquer that promises very well. The contractors guarantee :t lacquer coat for three years, and, according to the rates charged in Japan, the cost of applying it to a vessel like the Charleston would be $2,600, at 13 cents per square foot. The lacquer would in all probability cost about double the price here. It is understood that plates thus prepared are how at the New York Navy Yard under test. Lieut. Murdock, who has devoted a great deal of attention to the subject, estimates that the lacquer process, assuming that it will last three years, is cheaper iu the long run than painting.

How to “ Saw By.”

Some boys do only what they have seen done by somebody else; other boys, the boys who make a mark in the world, look at things with their own eyes, and if a thing needs to be done, set about doing it. Without brag or bluster they act as if their motto were, “What man has not done, man can do.” Of one such boy the Washington Post prints a characteristic anecdote. A few years ago a green country boy applied to the superintendent of a Western railway for work, and, somewhat against the superintendent’s wish, on account of the danger to life and limb attendant upon such occupation, 'was given a place as brakeman of a freight train. On one of his first trips it happened that his train met another freight train at a station where the side track was not long enough to accommodate either of them. The conductors were debating which train should back tip to a point where they could pass, when the new hand ventured to suggest that neither should back; that they could pass each other by means of the short side track if the thing was managed right. The idea excited a good deal of laughter on the part of the old trainmen, but the boy stood his ground. “Well, how would you go about it?” asked one of the conductors, confident that the lad would soou find himself against a stump. The boy took up a stick and traced in the sand a diagram to illustrate his plan. “Good gracious!” said the conductor, “I believe that will do it!” And it did do it. To-day every trainman in America knows how to “saw by” two long trains on a short side track, but it is not so generally known that the thing was never done until an inexperienced country boy, who is now the manager of a great railway line, worked out the problem for himself.

Redemption of Paper Money.

Paper money drops from circulation, but is not lost; whenever a note becomes very much soiled and worn it is sent to the Treasury for redemption. The women experts employed to examine the money sent in are wonderfully skillful. It is marvelous how deftly they will poke over a few charred fragments of notes and set an accurate valuation upon them. Not very long ago a poor woman sent a wee corner of a twenty-dollar bill, with a pitiful story about her baby’s having burnt it. Hardly more was left than a fragment big enough to show the figures of the denomination, but she will get the money back. Mice are great destroyers of paper currency, and some of the most hopeless specimens that come in have been chewed up for beds for these little rodents. Sometimes a Dill-box full of indistinguishable ashes will arrive, accompanied by a certificate stating the amount represented. Of course, such a case is hopeless. It is usually a kitchen-stove catastrophe. Kitchen stoves burn up more cash every year than is lost in any other way. People confide their hoards to them for hiding, and when they are lighted the greenbacks go up in smoke. It has been estimated that one per cent, of paper money is lost or destroyed. Of the old fractional currency it is reckoned that eight million dollars’ worth has been totally lost

DAVIS’ DAUGHTER.

She I* the Ideal Realization ot Southern Maidenhood. Miss “Winnie” Davis possesses rot only the ability to make a profession of her artistic powers, but has developed also her literary powers to a practical extent, writes Alice Graham McCollin in a sketch of the daughter

WINNIE DAVIS.

sings delightfully, playing her own accompaniments with charming simplicity. In appearance Miss Davis is even prettier than her portrait makes her. Tall, slender, fair-haired, with gray eyes of peculiar beauty, she is the ideal realization of Southern maidenhood. She has a sweet Southern voice and a manner which evidences the gentle, courteous heart beneath. Her mother bears tribute to her as “the best and dearest of daughters!" Her father when on his deathbed said that she had never disobeyed or given him pain, and without an exception every one who comes at all under her gentle refinement feels her to be a woman with “Heart on her lips, and soul within her eyes, Soft as her clime, and sunny as her skies.”

Clever Collie.

T. Sidney Cooper, the English animal painter, says that lie often made valuable studies in Cumberland, at places where Scotch droves halted with their cattle for the night. On such occasions, he often had a chance to see illustrations of an animal’s intelligence, as well as of its physical perfection. One day, when there was a pouring rain, a man consented to sit for me at the inn where I was staying. He brought his collie with him, and both of them were dripping wet; so he put off his plaid, and laid it on the floor by the dog. I made a very successful sketch of the man, but before I had finished it, the dog grew fidgety with the wet plaid, and his master said, “Tak’ it awa’i mon, tak’ it awa'!” The dog took the end of it between his teeth, and dragged it out of the room. After I had finished the drover’s portrait, I asked him if he thought his dog would lie quiet for a time, as I wished to sketch him. “Oh, yes, mon,” he answered, “he’ll do anything I say to him. Watch! Watch!” he called, and then “whustled” for him, as the Scotch say. As the dog did not appear, we went together to look for him, and found him sitting before the kitchen fire, with the end of the plaid in his mouth, holding it up to dry. I expressed my admiration of his intelligence, and the master replied: “Ah, he’s a canny creature, sir! He knows a mony things, does that dog, sir. But come awa’, mon; the gentleman wants to mak’ your picture.” So we returned to my room, and the handsome collie sat for his portrait.

A Fatal Ring:.

Round the neck of the holy virgin of Almudens, the patron saint of Madrid, for whom a fine new church is being built close to the royal palace, a very beautiful diamond ring hangs on a thin gold chain. The ring belonged to the late King Alphonso XII., and a strange history is connected with it, which may well appeal to the minds of the superstitious Spaniards. On the day of his wedding to Mercedes, the daughter of the Duke of Montpensier, the King gave the ring to the bride, who wore it till her early death. After the funeral the King gave the ring to his grandmother, Queen Christine, who died soon after. Infanta Maria del Pilar, the” sister of the King, then became its possessor. She had worn it only a few days when she died. Then the ring became the property of the King once more, and he gave it to the sister of his late consort, Princess Christina, the youngest daughter of the Duke of Montpensier. Three months later the girl was dead. The King had now become aware of the unfortunate coincidences, and instead of giving it away again he himself wore the ring, till he also went to his early grave.— Pall Mall Gazette.

Dont's for Wives.

Don’t “nag” your husband. Don’t think your husband’s heart is bigger than his stomach. Don’t be afraid to assert your rights as an equal partner with your husband. Don’t repeat what your husband tells you. Don’t whine. Don’t be afraid to live within your means. Don’t try to wear a $25 bonnet on a 25-cent income. Don’t attempt to make a “society man” of your husband. Don’t complain when your husband wants you to stay at home with him in the evening. Don’t publish your domestic grievances abroad. Don’t scold any more than is necessary “to keep peace in the family.”

Sit and Set.

The use of the words “sit” and “set” is well defined in the following example: A man, or woman either, can set a hen, although they cannot sit her, neither can they set on her, although the old hen might sit on them by the hour if they would allow. A man cannot set on the wash-stand, but he could set the basin on it, and neither the basin nor the grammarians would object. He could sit on the dog’s tail, if the dog were willing, or he might set his foot on it. But if he should set on the aforesaid tail or sit his foot there, the grammarians as well as the dog would howl. And yet, strange as it may seem, the man might set the tail aside and than sit down, and neither be assaulted by the dog nor the grammarians. The fellow who stole the contribu-tion-box at Goshen', Ind., is Supposed to have just returned from the seashore.—Columbus Post.

If People Are Given Adulteration. It Ii Frequently Their Own Fault. There are few subjects more easily treated by a skillful writer, who desires to scare up a sensation, than the adulteration of food. It is unfortunately true that there are dishonest men engaged in the food traffic, as there are in every other kind of business known to civilization, and it is also true that a dishonest man, especially if he be driven by competition, will sell dishonest goods. It therefore happens that sutstances are sold to the public, sometimes, as food, which are either not food at all, or inferior in quality to those which they are represented to be. This is an evil, to expose which is distinctly within the province of the public press. No greater service can be rendered, at least of a secular character, than to put the reader on guard against frauds of this character. No small part of the success of the American Analyst is due to the fact that we have performed services of this character fearlessly, constantly, and with some measure of skill. It is one thing, however, to expose an evil, and entirely a different thing to describe it in such a way as to destroy public confidence. This latter is the error into which sensational writers are almost certain to fall. The reader of one of their articles must necessarily lose confidence, either in the purveyor or in the writer of the article, and it is fortunate, for everybody but the writer, that the public generally may be credited with enough common sense to distrust the writer rather than the great body of reputable dealers. The so-called “Exposure of the Tricks of Trade” is tolerably certain to be so sweeping and general as to be unworthy of respect, and the general reader recognizes this fact. A conspicuous example of this kind of journalism was the recent publication of a column article in the New York Sun, on “Adulteration of Coffee.” It begins with the statement that “Pure coffee is expensive, and therefore there are immense quantities of stuff spld as pure coffee which are in reality compounds of various substances which cost less.” Then, after specifying “chicory, acorns, mangel-wur-zel, peas, beans ahd flour,” as some of these substances, the writer says: “The estimate has been made that the people of the United States who buy spurious coffee under the name of pure Mocha, Java, or Bio are cheated annually to the extent of about $18,000,000.” Now it may be true that this estimate has been made. Any other absurd estimate may be made at any time, by anybody, with perfect ease. The question remains whether it is worth while to waste printer’s ink on the publication of it. Other sample statements in the article referred to are these: “The general public without expert knowledge is utterly unable to distinguish the counterfeit.” “The purchaser, therefore, has absolutely no protection short of chemical or microscopical analysis.” “Very few persons will take the trouble to protect themselves from-such imposition.” “There is a process * * * so as to produce an article that will deceive some experts. ” The only safeguard the writer of this article suggests (although he does admit that some dealers sell honest goods) is to buy green coffee, roast it yourself, and grind it with religious exclusion of any adulterants. Evidently the whole tendency of such an article is mischievous, and it does gross injustice to a most reputable class of business men. Nobody of ordinary intelligence doubts that coffee is sometimes adulterated. Nobody questions the notorious fact that what is sold under the trade name of coffee, at less than the market price of pure coffee, is a mixture. The inference, however, that people are cheated to any appreciable extent is unquestionably false. Not one grocer in a hundred sell these mixtures under the claim that he is selling pure coffee. The customer, unless phenomenally ignorant, knows that when he is buying “coffee” for 20 cents a pound he is not getting coffee, and he is, therefore, not cheated. If he really v*ants pure coffee, and will tell his grocer so, he will not be cheated once in five hundred times. As was said, it is the mission of the American Analyst to expose the tricks of dishonest dealers. This we do without fear or favor, but the rehearsal of well-known facts coupled with the inference that the great body of dealers in a standard article are guilty of deliberate swindling, is work that is unworthy of any first-class periodical.—American Analyst.

of Jefferson Davis in the Ladies’ Home Journal. She has of late months written extensively for the current periodicals and reviews of this country, an d is always a welcome contributor. She

There are seventy peoples whose customs forbic the wife’s relatives to hold any communication with the husband, or, conversely, the husband’s relatives and his wife to speak to one another. Yet, in the former case, it is the husband who goes to live with his wife’s parents, and in the latter case the wife who goes to live in her husband’s home with his father and mother. The native Andamanese women have a curious custom. When any of them are left widows the bereaved wife is accustomed to procure the skull of her late husband and carry it about with her suspended by her side. She also uses ( itas a sort of a treasure box, placing in it her money, jewels, or any other valuable articles she may have. It is a law of good society in China that young widows never marry again. Widowhood, therefore, is held in the highest esteem, and the older the widow grows the more agreeable does her position become with the people. Should she reach fifty years, she may, by applying to the emperor, get a sum of money with which to buy a tablet on which is engraved the sum of her virtues. The tablet is placed over the door at the principal entrance to her house. The Zaparos, a tribe of South America, have a curious way of courting. The love-stricken young man goes out hunting, and, on his return, throws his game at the feet of the young lady who has smitten him, together with a sufficient quantity of fuel to cook it. If she takes up the game, lights a fire and commences to cook it, he knows his suit is accepted; but, if not, he turns away, a sadder, U not a wiser, man.

ADULTERATION SCARES.

Curiosities of Matrimony.

HUMOR OF THE WEEK.

STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Many Odd, Curious, and Laughable Phases of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Word Artists ol Our Own Day. Where Dullness Is Profitable. “How are things in your business?” “Dull, I’m glad to report.” “Glad to report?” “Yes, I’m a saw-sharpener.”—Kate Field’s Washington. A New Way to Pay Old Debts. Judge—ls you wish to establish your innocence you will have to prove an alibi. Prisoner— Sure, that’s aisy. I can prove a He by Mike Murphy, who owes me $lO, although it’s afther swearing to tell the truth I am, but if it’s a lie your honor wants, ye shall have it.—Brooklyn Eagle. The Moan Tiling. , Miss Clamwhopper, who wears false tresses, but imagines nobody knows it, calls on her friend, Miss Snobberly. Miss S.—Has Dobinsky finished your portrait? Miss C.—l’ll have to give him another sitting, so he can get the right color of my hair. Miss S.—ls that’s all,’ why don’t you send it to him by a servant?— Texas Siftings. Must Watch the Weather. In a New York restaurant. Customer (to waiter) —Here, this check’s wrong. Waiter—What’s the matter with it? “Why, I have had bacon and eggs and you charge me 75 cents, when the bill of fare says 25 cents.” “You are quite right, sir, but you had two glasses of water at 25 cents each. If you want water at a lower rate come around immediately after a rain-storm. ” —4rkan Jaw Traveler. Look Out for Number One. “So you gave your sister a beautiful birthday present, did you, Tommy?” “Yes’m, I always give Susie a present on her birthday ’cause mine comes a week after hers.”—Yankee Blade. ,v <• r.r. A First Class Kicker.

—Life. “Two Souls,” Etc. “How did you ever come to marry, old man? Thought you’d determined to stay single?” “I had; but I was introduced one day to a girl who had determined never to marry, and our thoughts seemed to harmonize so completely that—well, we married each other.” —Puck. A Potent Medicine. The Doctor —Are you aware that balsam of fir possesses rare properties as a medicine? The Head of the Family—l do. I can recall instances where a sealskin sacque soothed a tremendous irritation in my family. There’s nothing like a balsam of fur.—Pittsburg Bulletin. The Term AVas Misleading. Grandma Gowkitt—Robert, what’s a sweep smelter? Robert (just home from college)— A man who buys the sweeping from jewelers’ shops for the gold in them. “Laws-a-me! Can he smell the gold?” —Jeweler’s Weekly. Fitting Advice. Bard—l have a poem here on “power,” and I don’t know just where to place it. What would you advise me to do with it? -* ' Pard—Get it in one of the magazines, of course.—Yonkers Gazette. Knew His Man. Genius The world is in league against me. Friend —Look here, old man, if a quarter will do you any good you can have it; but that’s all I’ve got.—St. Joseph News. Well, He Could Cure it Cheap* Newspaper Manager—Why, what’s the matter with our advertising rates? Patent Medicine Man—They give me that tired feeling.—Somerville Journal. i WiU Telegraph. A telegram, something after the following form, may soon be sent from Chicago: “J. H. So-and-so. Your son has just fallen, from the top story of the Masonic Temple. Will telegraph result as soon as he gets down.”—Arkansaw Traveler.

St., Paul’s Day.

St Paul’s Day is the 25th of January, “the weather day,” as it is called in odd corners of the country still. There is an old superstition to the effect that “If St. Paul’s Day be fair and clear. It doth betide a happy year,” eta It is impossible to say how such sayings originated.

Persian Shoes.

The Persians have shoes made of wood and richly inlaid which are really little raised platforms with a strap across the front for the toes to pass through. A pair of these are often elevated as much as a foot from the ground, and are veritable stilts. There is nothing which this age, from whichever standpoint we survey it, needs more, physically, intellectually and morally, than thorough ventilation.