Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 49, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 December 1891 — Page 4

jJemorrotir Sentinel RENSSELAER, INDIANA. 2. W. McEWEN, - - - Publishes.

r *SY>r men only”—the woman’s page fn the average Sunday paper. Tito Prince of Wales is 50 years old, hut his dear mamma is 72 years young. If it be true that an odorless whisky has been invehted half the spice will be taken out of man’s life. Mbs. Langtry is having a new play written. Now if she would only have some good actress employed to play her role. A Pennsylvania man after preaching twenty-five years has become principal of a grammar school. Once a parson always a parsin’. The American hog is the modern conquering hero in Europe. Soon, like Alexander, he will weep because he has no other worlds to conquer. Chicago has 180 square miles of territory, more or less, but there is no room anywhere within its limits for the fla'g'of anarchy. This is official.

A Missouri barber was suddenly stricken dead by apoplexy Sunday while playing “Annie Rooney” on a guitar. Papers everywhere please copy. “Of what earthly use is chicory, anyway,” exclaims the Boston Post, in a burst of unseemly passion. Chicory, dear friend, is useful as a rhyme for Terpsichore. Canada has declined to accede to the international copyright treaty. It is safe in doing so, for the pirate is yet to be found mean enough to steal a Canadian book. t “How to Feed a Railway” is the title of a new book on practical sci- I ence. It doesn’t say so, but probably the most common fodder is stock after it has been well watered. St. Louis claims to have a cat that drinks whisky. No creature with less than nine lives can tackle St. Louis whisky with impunity. It is almost as bad as Chicago water. 1 : t xrrJi* • • It is said the Russian peasants are eating straw in their bread. The French peasants were eating grass by the roadside not long before the revolution of 1793. History may repeat Itself. Sir Edwin Arnold expresses himself as much pleased with America. Will some one please mention this fact to Rudyard Kipling? This country is rather pleased with both opinions. A restaurant with Delmonico prices is to be established at the World’s Fair grounds. The proprie tors must expect that the much banqueted commissioners are going to reitain their appetites forever.. t Budyard Kitlino, it seems, is on his way 'from Australia to Ceylon, and so far as he is concerned the American public will not be seen in Its great act of licking the hand that cuffs it until another season. — fr , If it had occurred to Edward Bellamy in writing “Looking Backward” to make the age at which the men 'of his ideal community quit work 25 instead of 45 he could have had twice as many enthusiastic followers as he has. ! George Parsons Lathrop announces that there is in the United States a wide-spread contempt for authorship. In what part of the "Union has he been staying? Let him go to Boston and he may change his mind. The lessees of Wallack’s Theater, In New York, complain that a ghost walks In the cellar at midnight. This is an odd time and place for a ghost to walk, but any actor who has toured it in the provinces will agree that it is better than not walking at all.

A Western girl is papering her -room with love-letters. The dado is composed entirely of proposals for marriage, arranged chronologically. If she would secure copies of her refusals of all these matrimonial offers and place them at the top of the room, they would make a very good frieze. A story of inhumanity comes from Oregon. A convict in the State Prison at Salem, who cut off one of bis hands about two years ago to avoid work, has been obliged to drag a Iteavy piece of iron over a distance of road backward and forward for ten hours a day for a year and a half. The punishment has driven him into Insanity. • Train-robbers went through a passenger train within a few yards of the city limits of St. Louis the other night. Very unfortunate situation that town occupies. To get into it from the east passengers have to submit to being robbed by the bridge company, and to get out of it by the west they have to yield up their wealth to the road agents. THE admirers of “the red flag” and •the stars and bars” may as well take notice that Uncle Sam has no use for Jtfeem is any public demonstration. jfaople who don't think “the starapaagled banner” good enough and Columbia!” and “Yankee the right kind of music had getter move to some other country.

Every loyal American citizen will applaud th!e Chicago police that “hauled down the red flag” of anarchy and compelled the unfurling of the Stars and Stripes. The most dull imagination must have received a fllip at the announcement last week of the discoveries at Chillicothe. The bringing to the light of day of the armor-encased skeleton of the hero who was buried six hundred years ago with his mouth full of great pearls is an incident which appeals not alone to the historian and the archuiologist, but which arouses the interest of whoever has imagination or curiosity. The romancer and the poet will not be slow to take advantage of this new light upon the mysterious MoundBuilders, and who knows what literary inspiration may not come from it. One of the most alarming results of the trial of the Earl Russell casein London has been the doubt which certain of its revelations have cast upon the heretofore well-received works of Mrs. Alexander and “The Duchess.” These authoresses have given us to understand that tne conversation be tween earls and countesses has always been marked by the courtesy of the courtier and the dignified eloquence of royalty. It seems, however, that during the exigencies of domestic disagreement countesses are in the habit of using profanity in order to express freely their opinion of their husbands. As there is no other appropriate place for French realism, it might be applied to the English aristocracy, in the hope that the ultimate result would be mutual destruction.

Southern farmers are considering the subject of limiting the area for the growth of cotton. They assert that cotton will impoverish both land and owner if its cultivation is persisted in. Even if the acreage is decreased on the old cotton plantations it will not decrease the crop, for in the Mississippi Valley, in Arkansas and in Texas new lands .are being planted in cotton. The movement for diversified crops, though long agitated, does not seem to make much headway in the South. Yet instances of its benefits are not wanting. An Alabama paper the other day mentioned that a farmer had come to town with seventy-flve dozenof eggs and seventy-five "chickens. He sold them for S3O cash. A friend came in the same day with a bale of cotton which he sold for S3O, but he had to pay out a part of this for guano. Outrages by policemen upon defenseless persons have become so frequent in New York that the drastic remedy applied a few days ago by a magistrate was fully needed. An officer arrested an aged and respectable woman, who has long earned a living by keeping a stand for the sale of newspapers, and took her before a justice, where he made oath that she was drunk. As these magistrates too often do, the justice accepted the word of the officer without question and committed the woman to the workhouse for nine months. But the case got into the newspapers; witnesses came forward to prove that the woman was not intoxicated, and the further investigation then had resuited in the discharge of the woman and in the holding of the officer tc answer a charge of 'perjury!” What ever may be the final end of this case, it ought to remind policemen everywhere that it is their duty to be as cautious in making affidavits as in the use of their clubs. Well, now! Did you ever? A finicky young Chicago schoolma’am, with the sweet name of Mabel Merrill, has struck a blow whiph threatens the fabric of American independence and the ostracism of the odor iferous onion. The children came tc her school-room with breaths that smelled strong as a high-holer’s nest, and the faint, delicious, just-barely-suggestive odor of eau de cologne which permeated the atmosphere surrounding the aesthetic young teacher wasn’t in it. The onion, which Noah Webster naively says belongs to the genus allium, and then quits right there, reigned snpreme. The children’s breaths sallied forth, percolated the ozone until further percolation was impossible, and then dropped in chunks upon the floor with a dull, sick , etc. The children were sent home, and then commenced the fun. An irate father interviewed the superintendent, and after a hard fight came off with flying colors. Miss Mabel’s action was pronounced an excess of authority, and at present the children are at liberty to carry their vociferous breaths to school with them. Mighty is the onion!

How Monkeys Sleep.

“Do you know,” said the monkey man at the Zoo, “that few people ever saw a monkey asleep? I suppose there are people who Imagine they never do sleep, as they are usually alert in the presence of visitors.” This drowsy air had exerted its influence upon a sleepy, mustachcd monkey, and the delegate had a good view of the sleeping beast. He lay upon his shelf, upon his back, with his arms thrown carelessly about; but the pretty feature was the position of the long tail. It was curled about the body, and just under the head ft made a double curl, and upon this *oft roll rested the monkey’s head—a pillow tit for a king.. “When alone they always use their tails for pillow's,” said the keeper, “but if two or more sleep at the same time they huddle close together, resting their heads upon one another.”

Papier Mache.

Papier mache oil cans, which are now being made, are very durable and impervious to any spirit or oil likely to be used in a machine room.

CHEAP TO FOREIGNERS.

TRUSTS SEND THEIR SURPLUS ABROAD. Another Wage Reduction In a Protected Industry—Kll Perkins and the American Economist—Proposed Tariff Reform High Prices at Home. How Prices Are Kept Up. When the manufacturers of harvesters were 1 oldlng meetings for the purpose of considering the best ways and means of consolidating their interests In the form of a “trust* J. R. Kusk, the Secretary of Agriculture, who is a stockholder in one df the companies which entered the “trust,” said in an interview In the New York Tribune: “An investigation will show that this same combination Is now selling, or offering to sell I machinery in Russia, Australia and other j wheat-crowing countries at a lower figure than they do in this country." That this system of selling cheaper to foreigners than to our own farmers is adopted by other manufacturers of farm Implements, is shown by Mr. A. B. Farquharof York, Fa., one of the largest manufacturers of agricultural machin-! ery and implements in the United States. In May last, Mr. Farquhar, in replying to a letter*of inquiry written to him by the Home Market Club of Boston, said: “In reply to your favor of the 16th inst, j I have to acknowledge that our firm sells | Implements and machinery through ! Mexico, b'outh America and Africa at I prices from five to ten per cent less than they are so d for in this country.”

This system of favoritism to foreigners is characteristic of the trusts in this country. Trusts are formed by manufacturers in the same industry for two purposes. 1. To limit and control productions, and 2. To control prices, and thus prevent competition. The ultimate aim, to accomplish which trusts are organized, is to increase profits. Whenever they fail to gauge the extent Of the home demand and have on hand more of their products than the homo market will take at the high and arbitrary prices they fix, the trusts resort to exportatun to dispose of their surplus. Jn foreign markets they must meet the prices at which their competitors in (thcr countries arc willing to dispose of their productions Since the prices which prevail here under our tariff are higher than in other countries for the same products, the trusts give what is known as special export discounts on home prices to foreign buyers. These extra discounts are in most cases a combination of two forms. In order to prevent tlio foreign buyers from selling their goo is in this country again, the trusts pay the freight to and put the goods on board ship at the port of exportatii n. This of itself is equivalent in most cases to a liberal discount In addition to this they also give a special discount on homo prices varying all the way from live to twenty-live per cent. In some cases the trusts go further, and agree to lay the goods down at the wharvos in the foreign port, paying all the freight. This is the system adopted by the glass trusts. How the trusts operate to keep up prices here and to sell their surplus abroad, so that It will not interfere with their home trade, is well illustrated by the history of the American Ax and Tool Company, commonly known as the “ax. trust” The first meeting of the manufacturers of axes was held in Buffalo in February, 1890. At a subsequent meeting In March the trust completed its organization. The trust is composed of the following companies: Hubbard & Co , Pittsburg, Ta. Douglas Ax Manufacturing Company, East Douglas, Mass. William Mann s Ax Works, Lewiston, Pa. Johnsnnville Ax Manufacturing Company, Johnsonville, N. Y. H. Knickerbocker’s Works, Ballston Spa, N. Y. Peeress Tool Company, Cleveland, Ohio. Romer Bros. Manufacturing Company, Gowanda, N. Y, Lippineott & Co., Pittsburg. Pa. Underhill Edge Tool Company, Nashua, N. H. The Globo Ax Company, Boston, Mass, Carpenter & Co , Jamestown, N. Y. The Buffalo Ax Works, owned by G. W. Francis—in all twelve companies,

As as the trust was orgauized it raised prices, as the following from the | Iron Ago for March 27, 1890, shows: “The general feeling among the trade is that tne ax-makors have formed a very strong •association,’ and havo complete control of the market, or so nearly so that the outside makers will have scarcely any appreciable effect on the prices. It is found that scarcely any orders can ' be placed with outside manufacturers j who are not under the control of tho | American Ax and Tool Company. The j trade will do well to note tho changed | condition la this lino of goods as regards the higher prices now ruling, and the strong probability of their ma ntenance for some time to come. On first quality goods an advanco is now made of 81.75 to $2.25 per dozen. ” This advance has been well maintained. Before the trust was formed plain axes of the best brands weie selling at $5.25 per dozen. They now -sell at $7 per dozen. So far as concerns the home market tho trust has been successful in that it Is able to get at least $1.75 more for a dozen axes than the manufacturers who formed it were able to get before. It has been able to do this by its complete control over production here. And now as to the way it disposes of its surplus abroad. In its foreign trade the trust is represented by branch houses in New York. Thus the branch which exports its products to the Spanish countries of South America is under the charge of G. P. Maleza.

The makes of axes known to the trade as the “Ohio,” “Yankee,” and “Kentucky,” which the trust sells In this country for 87.00 per dozen, are offered by Maleza for export for 80.00 dozen delivered ou board ship Other brands and shapes are sold at similarly low prices. By putting their products on board ship, and geting the bi 1 of lading, the trust is able to prevent home buyers from, taking advantage of its low prices to foreigners What is true of the manufacturers of all classes of agricultural imolements, and the ax trust is true of other trusts depending on the tariff for their existence. and u ing the protection thus given them to swell their profits by high prices at home. Doubtless that apostle of high protectionism. Mr. R. G. Horr, who is employed by the New York Tribune to tell the farmers how good a thing the McKinley tariff is for them, wi 1 say of this, as he did of the statement of Mr. Farquhar, that it 's “au abominable free trade falsehood. *

Another Wage Reduction.

To the list of protected industries which have reduced the wages of their workmen, the New York Mills Cotton Company, at Utica, N. Y., must now be added. The President of the concern is W. Stuart Walcott, and the Treasurer is Samuel R. Campbell. Both are ardent and active Republican politicians, and devout disciples of McKinleyism. Mr. Walcott has long been credited with aspirations to the State Senatorship from bis district Mr. Campbell is the son of the late State Senator Samuel Campbell. He is a liberal contributor to Republican campaign funds, and in Presidential

years generally equips one or two campaign clubs at the mills. On Saturday notice was posted in what are known as the lower and middle mills of the company that a reduction in the wages of the weavers would take place on December 7. The former schedule was 77 cents for weaving a cut of fifty-five yards of shirting, and each weaver had charge of four looms. The new schedule makes a different scale, and provides that the weaver shall operate five and six looms Instead of four. The new prices are 70 cents per cut lor an operative who has charge of four looms, 66 cents a crj, where fivo looms are operated, and 62 e;nts a cut for six looms, The average operative can get two cuts a week from a loom Under the old schedule the average weekly wages of weavers was 86.16. Under the the average weaver will earn new scale $5.60 a week working at four looms. This reduction makes a bleak outlook for the weavers just at the beginning of winter, and the warmest indignation is expressed by them. The weavers say they cannot run six six looms because tfie cotton is poor, and some of the operatives are inexperienced. They insist that four looms are as many as they can handle It is said that many of the best weavers will have to seek employment elsewhere. At any rate the new arrangement will compel the dismissal of from one-tenth to one-fifth of the four or five hundred weavers, and harder work or smaller wages will be the lot of the rest. One operative summed up the situation in this fashion: “We will say you are paying a man 81 per day for sawing wood at the rate of a cord a day, and it is all he can do, and you say to him that hereafter you will pay him 81.50 per day if he will saw two cords.”

Perkins and the American Economist.

In their search for powerful advocates, our high tariff friends have found the truthful Eli Perkins, and wo understand that his services have been engaged by the American Protective Tariff League for the campaign that will close in November next His first argument was published in thp Tariff League’s Bulletin, otherwise known as the American Economist, of the 4th inst The subject of his first argument is chicory, and the Tariff League places at the head of the essay this title: “The Birth and Growth of a McKinley Industry.” “I suppose,” says Mr. Perkins to the editor of the Tariff League paper, “that you don’t know what chicory is. ” This is almost as bad as saying that the Tariff League’s editor “doesn’t know beans.” Eli explains that it Is a vegetable which “tastes like coffee” and then he goes on as follows: “To get to the story. When they were putting the tariff on different things last year, and got down to *C,’ they came right on to chicory. “ ‘What's chickoryV’ asked Major McKinley. “No one was able to tell anything about it, except that we paid 85,000,000 e\ery year to get what was used. “‘Well, what shall we do with it?’ asked several Congressmen. “ ‘Why, if we can’t raise it.’ said McKinley, ‘and the peoplo want it, we will iet raw chicory come in free, but we will put a protective tariff on manufactured chicory. We will try and bring the manufactories to America if wo can’t raise the stuff.’ And so the tariff went on to manufactured chicory. “Suddenly I noticed a groat stir among the chicory importers “ ‘Why, this McKinley bill has raised the dickens,’ they sa'd. ‘Wo can't im port ground chicory any more from France and Germany. We must make it here.’

“So they wrote and toiozraphed the foreign chicory manufacturers that they must hurry up and bring their chicory factories over here And, sure enough, thero was a stampede from Europe.” We interrupt hero the easy flow of Mr. Perkins’ narrative to mako a few remarks. We shall not question the truthfulness of his assertion, that neither Mr. McKin'ey nor any other member of the Ways and Means Committee knew what ch'ckory is, although they knew, so Mr. Perkins says, that “we have been sending out about 88,000,000 to Germany every year for this little article. ” But we must say that the book of statistics which Perkins uses is not in accord with the one published by the Government. In the latter the report concerning the value of chicory imported is as follows: IMPORTS OF CHICORY. 1880. 1900. Chicory root, ground or unground, burnt or prepared §201,802 §281,600 There is somo difference between 88,000,000 and 8231,600. but we cannot expect that a genius like Eli Perkins will permit himself to be fettered by facts. It will bo noticed also that wh.'n the members of the committee “got down to •O’" and “came right on to chicory,” they decided to “put a pro'.ectivo tariff on manufactured chicory.” Here again Perkins's book of statistics has misled him. The duty on manufactured chicory was not changed by the McKinley act. In the old tariff It was 2 cents a pound, and in the new one it is the same:. Perkins must have been misinformed about the “great stir among the importers. ” They told him that they couldn’t “import ground chicory any more” because the McKinley bill “had rai-ed the dickens. ” But, as we have said, the duty on ground chicory was not changed. There was a change, however, with respect to raw and unground chicory. Tho duty on this had been 2 cents a po.und. and the McKinley bill took it off. Perkins says that under the prov Lions of the McKinley act the farmers are all beginning to raise chicory. That is to say, the removal of the duty on raw chicory gives them so much protection against the raw chicory of “France and Germany, where it is grown with very chean labor,” that they are very anxious to take hold of the industry. What does the Tariff League say to this? —New York Times,

Mercantilism and McKinleyism.

E. Benjamin Andrews, President of Brown University, defines mercantilism in his excellent book, Institutes of Economics, as follows: “This (the mercantile system) neglecting agriculture magnified other busines es, and commerce in particular, yet regarding money as the most real form of wealth, insisted that in order to profit by trading a nation must have the ‘balance of trade’ in its favor, work mines, tax impoits, subsidize exportation, and conduct its whole policy with the view of amassing the greatest possible hoard of the precious metals To ths end übiquitous governmental regulation of industries was necessary, with privileges and monopolies to all inland business deemed important, also encouragement to domestic shipping, discourazement to foreign. These notions, while more explicit in France, were common to all Europe, and determined the character of economic and international politics for centuries.” Were one asked to write a definition of McKinleyism one could: not do better than to substitute for mercantilism the word McKinleyism in the above definition. It was not until about 1775 that the statesmen of England saw where the blind worship of mercantilism was leading them. Adam Smith did more to opei their eyes than any other person. At the dawn of the present century England began those reforms of her fiscal system which have made her the greatest manufacturing and commercial nation in the world. The abolition of

her absurd and narrow navigation law* was the first step, the second being the fr< e importation of raw materials for her manufacturers. The last great measure of reform was the removal of such import duties as favored the few to the detriment of the many. Cn the other hand, the French carried mercantilism to its logical conclusion, and refused to discard it when its disastrous effects were becoming apparent. The result was the French revolution. The masses in France had been so robbed and plundered on all sldei that they rose in their power and swept royalty and aristocracy out of existence. With these examples before the people of the United States, will they longer tolerate McKinleyism—the chief results of which are tariff-protected monopolies and trusts, which, unless checked, will bring about the same results.

Proposed Tariff Reform.

Congressman William J. Coombs, of Brooklyn, has prepared the following resolution concerning customs dutie* to be offered in the House of Representatives at the opening session: Resolved, That the Committee of Ways and Means be directed to prepare and present to this House a bill for the collection of revpnue and other purposes substantially upon the basis and principle of the following propositions: The bill shall have four schedules as follows: Schedule A.—To be composed of articles free of duty, Including all raw materials necessary in the manufacture of goods. Schedule B.—To be composed of articles which by their nature should not pay a duty exceeding 10 per cent, Schedule C.—To be composed of articles, principally wine, splr.ts, tobacco, cigars and cigarettes, and upon which a duty must bo charged sufficient at least to protect manufacturers, who pay a tax under our internal revenue laws. Also, of a few well-defined articles of luxury, which will bear a rate of at least 40 per cent ad valorem. Schedule D.—To bo known as the schedule for the protection of labor, and which shall be made up from time to time in the manner herein specified. All articles not covered by the preceding lists shall be grouped and known as “unspecified,” and shall have a uniform rate of ad valtrem duty as provided horeafter. The bill shall also provide that as soon as Congress shall ascertain the amount of money necessary for the conduct of the Government for the current year, it shall submit a report to the same, deducting therefrom the following items: (a) Surp'us remaining over from procoding year. (b) Estimated income from internal revenue. (c) Estimated income from Schedule B. (d) Estimated income from Schedule C. (e) Estimated income from Schedule D. (f) Estimated income from all other sources. Which amounts being deducted from the amount to be provided for, the expenses of the Government will leave as a result the amount to be raised by import tax on all “unspecified” articles. It shall, in its report to Congress, estimate the gross value of such importations for the current year and the percentage of duty necessary to be levied on the same in order, as near as may be, to realize the amount ascertained as above.

The bill shall also provide that in case any manufacturer or manufacturers of goods or merchandise included in the class of “unspecified” shall find that the item of labor cost, including the use of machinery, of his productions in this country shall exceed that paid by the manufacturers of the same class of goods made in forefgn countries, he may present sworn proofs of the same to the committee, with the demand that such articles sha’l be entered cn Schedule D. If, upon examination, the committee find that the statements are correct, or if they find that any difference exists in favor of the foreign manufacturer, they shall cause the article or class of articles to be entered upon Schedule D, with a specific duty equal to such difference, always provided that the article is not protected by letters patent issued by this Government

Starch Trust Profits.

In spite of the fact that its capital is hea\i y watered, the Starch Trust, or as the high tariff organs choose to call it, the National Starch Manufacturing Company, pays good dividends, as the following from the Financial and Mining Record, a high tariff organ shows: “The National Starch Manufacturing Company have declared the regular semi-annual dividend of 6 per cent on the second preferred sto k, payable Jan. 1, 1892. The company paid the usual 4 per cent dividend on the first preferred stock on Nov. .1, last; also the semi annual interest on their bonds due at that time, and set apart the amount required for the sinking fund. The company’s finances are in good shape, and the prospects for the coming year are very favorable.” In addition to the heavy expenses which had to bo paid to those who organized it, and to the defunct concerns to keep them from competing with it, this showing on the part of a trust whose Jobs in the McKinley tariff were among the most flagrant in the whole bill, is very favorable.

First Street Kailway.

The first street railroad chartered in this country was the New York and Harlem, but now known as the “Fourth Avenue,” and the date of its charter is April 25, 1831, or sixty years ago. The patent was taken out in 1833 by John Stephenson, still living q,t the advanced age of 85 years, and bears the signature of Andrew Jackson, President; Edward Livingston, Secretary of State; Roger B. Taney, Attorney General; and John Campbell, Treasurer. The car is described as “a transition from the existing styles of coachwork, being the union of three Quaker coaches suspended on four short leather ‘thorough-braces,’ which afforded an ease of comfort not since excelled.” Its picture represents it as a cross between an omnibus, a rockaway and an English railway coach. In addition to comfort this car had another advantage which is now beginning to be appreciated in the congestion of street traffic in large cities. It was divided on the inside into three compartments, each seating ten passengers, and the roof held two seats more, one at each end, capable of seating ten more. So we see that the “upper deck” feature is really as old as the first street car built. In those days it was supposed, as a matter of course, that the passenger was entitled to a seat, and forty persons was thought to be a fair load for one car. Nowadays in Chicago and New York 6uch ideas are too antiquated for courteous consideration. Passengers are not given seats, but are lucky to get standing room. The rapid growth of cities has rendered intramural transit and rapid transit one of the serious problems of the age.

Convincing Evidence.

“Absalom Carruthers,” said his wife, with the accent on each syllable for good measure; “you were intoxicated last night.” “Well, I failed to notice it.” “Everybody else noticed it; they couldn’t help it. You were irretrievably drunk.” “Not by a jugful.” “No; but several jugs full.” “You’re away off, Hepsy.” “Not as greatly off as you were. You tried to open the gate with your latch-key, and then you fell over it into the grass.” “Nonsense.” “You came up the front steps on your hands and knees, opened the door and inquired if Carruthers lived here. Do you know that?” “Bosh.” “And you stumbled on a dark flower in the carpet, and nearly went down.” “Not a word of truth in it.” “Tried to hang your hat on a fly on the wall, and then asked where that nail went to.” “You are totally hallucinated.” “Why, you talked out of your ears, and when the baby cried on the bed you went to rocking its crib as hard as you could, singing, ‘Bye O wy O, Baby.’ Recollect that?” “Recollect nothing.” “I expect not. and you got on your knees and patted and rubbed the back of the hound worked in worsted on the rug in front of the grate, and said, ‘Driggy, doggy.’ ” “I tell you I don’t believe it.” “And you gave me a ten-dollar bill and said I could get a new bonnet with it, and here’s that bill.” “Something's strange. That bill looks kind o’ natural and familiar, but I wasn’t drunk.” “Of course it does look familiar, and you said to my dearma, ‘Mother, you’ve got to stay with us till spring freezes over. ’ ” “Yes, you did, Absalom,” said the old lady. “Ah—yes—l—see; I—was—very—very—drunk.”—A. W. Bellaw, in Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.

The Love in Marriage.

“Don't make a mistake, my dear,” said a middle-aged . lady to a young friend; “don’t marry that man simply because you are in love with him. If he doesn’t care quite as much for you, you had better break your heart grieving over what you have not got, than wear your life out in sorrow because you are bound to n man whose indifference is perpetually before your eyes. The idea of teaching a man to love you is a most mistaken one. There are instances where it has been done, but it is the most unsatisfactory thing in the world to wait for. “A woman is much more likely to learn to love her husband after marriage, than the man to learn to love the wife, and the reason for this is evident: The woman in the quiet of her home has her thoughts constantly .directed towards the husband. The man in the whirl of business has a thousand things to distract his attention, and she must be a woman of more than ordinary grace and attractiveness, who can win a tired, oftentimes harassed and distracted, man from his business thought to a deep and lasting affection. You may say .that marriage is a lottery. So it is, but there are lotteries and lotteries, und of all chance games the chance of winning a wayward heart is about the most hopeless. Especially is this the case if the woman is herself deeply in love. She gauges the man’s feelings by her own and bases her demand on what she would herself do, as she fancies, under like circumstances. But she reasons from wrong premises, and, like all calculations based on error, comes far short of her expectations. Marry only the man who desires your love above all things else, otherwise it is better to remain single.”—New York Ledger.

Brides Who Perch In Trees.

Among the Lolos of Western China it is customary for the bride on the wedding morning to perch herself on the highest branch of a large tree, while the elder female members of her family cluster on the lower limbs, armed with sticks. When all are duly stationed, the bridegroom clampers up the tree, assailed on all sides by blows, pushes and pinches from the dowagers, and it is not until he |has broken through their fence and jcaptured the bride that he is allowed ito carry her off. Similar difficulties assail the bridegroom among the Mongolian Koraks, who are in the habit of celebrating their marriages in large tents, divided into humerous separate but communicating compartments. At a given signal, as soon as the guests are assembled, the bride starts off through the compartments, followed by her wooer, while the women of the encampment throw every possible impediment in his way, tripping up his unwary feet, holding down the curtains to prevent his passage, and applying the willow and alder switches unmercifully as he stoops to raise them. As with the maiden on the tree top, the Korak bride is invariably captured, however much the possibilities of escape may be in her favor.

Significant Puppies.

Apropos of dogs. It is said that the late Admiral Porter had the yard and stables of his house on H street, Washington, full of them, acquired in this manner: Whenever a young naval officer wished to ingratiate himself with the Admiral, he would casually remark: “Oh, Admiral, I have a valuable litter of puppies and it would give me great pleasure if you would accept one.” The Amiral was fully conscious of the raison d’etre, and whenever a basket appeared with Lieut, or Ensign So-and-so’s compliments and a whining, flabby specimen of puppydom therein, he would remark: “Here comes another application for shore duty. ”

Trichinosis.

“It is a mistake,” said a physician, “to suppose that all trichinaj-smitten people die. A small percentage undoubtedly do, but the greater number get well after passing through an attack which greatly resembles inflammatory rheumatism, and is often mistaken for it. Having passed the acute stage, they are no longer in danger, as the insects then lie dormant in the system, and many a man is full of trichinae without in the least suspecting the fact.

THE LIFE OF AN EMPRESS.

A Royal Wife Who Is Decidedly Domestic in Her Habits. , What is the use of being an enir press? asks the Youth’s Companion. The consort of the German Emperor rises at 5 o’clock in the morning and has accomplished half a day’s work before half the women who are not queens are out of bed. No wife of the present cycle is supposed to look after her husband’s linen. She is too busy with studying Browning and political economy. But the faithful Kaiserin has' personal charge of the linen belonging to her royal spouse and the honor of sewing on a button or putting a few stitches in an imperial sock is one rarely coveted by the maid of honor. When one remembers that the august personage travels with twentytwo tin cases containing his wearing

EMPRESS OF GERMANY.

apparel, cocked hats, helmets and uniforms and reflects upon the amount of linen required, it may he inferred that this care of the linen is no easy task. One servant has charge of the headgear, another menial of the boots, the wife of the' royal shirts. And what is this Empress of Germany doing just now, when the average wife has sent her children to their grandmother, or has sent them in charge of maids while she dances from one delight to another? She is at Felixstowe with her five boys, teaching them—or at least all of them that can navigate—the noble art of swimming, at which she is an expert. The young Empress has a matronly figure, with a youthful face, and she has been described as having the most beautiful neck and arms in Europe.

Profit In Clam Operations.

In Oldtown is a man who is making money fast out of clams, though he Is at present feeding the clams to his pigs. He keeps a hotel, and has bonded a clam flat down around Mount Desert. His clams arrive each day. He keeps them two weeks, feeding them on celery meal and Indian meal. They laugh and grow fat. Then he boils them, a bushel at a time. He puts in a quart of water, and takes out eight quarts. The water is strained and set aside for a day in a refrigerator. Then it is heated, seasoned with salt and pepper, and sold for 5 cents a glass. He has a big trade. A bushel of clams delivered costs 60 cents. He feeds them 40 cents’ worth. He gives a four-ounce drink. There are thirtytwo drinks in a gallon, and sixty-four drinks are secured from a bushel of clams.' Net profit on a bushel of clams, s2.2o—and he sells on some days six gallons. Many try to imitate him, but no one knows how to feed the clams as he does. His pigs grow fast, moreover.—Lewiston Journal. •

Ancient.

An Egyptian lock has been found which was in use more than four thousand years ago. The old lock was* not made of metal, like those we use now, but of Wood, and the key that opened it was wooden, too. On one side of the door to which it was fastened there was a staple, and into this fitted a wooden -bolt that was fixed to the door itself. When this bolt was pushed into the staple as far as it would go, three pms in the upper part of the staple dropped into holes in the bolt and held it in place, so it could not be moved back again until the pins were lifted. The key was a straight piece of wood, at the end of which were three pegs, the same distance apart as the pins which held the bolt firm. When the key was pushed into the bolt, through a hole made to receive it, the pegs came into such a position that they were able to lift the pins that fixed the bolt, and when these were lifted the bolt could be lifted out of the staple. Modern locks work on a similar principle.

Head Flattening Among the Navajos.

Upon every occasion where I was permitted to do so, careful examinations were made of the heads of these people, both living and dead, as well as the methods of strapping the infant Navajos in their cradles, and indeed all else that might tend to throw light upon the the subject. Of some two or three dozen children of all ages, from th.e infant upward, that I have thus examined, I have yet to find a case wherein the mother has not taken the special precaution to place a soft and ample pad in the cradle in such a manner as to fully protect the child’s head. Moreover, I have yet to see a case, except for a* few days or more in the youngest of babies, where the head is strapped at all. On the other hand, this part of the body is allowed all possible freedom.

Floating Stone.

Corea, according to a traveler’s story, has a famous “floating stone.” It stands, or it seems to stand, in front of the place erected in its honor. It is an irregular cube of great bulk. It appears to be resting on the ground, free from support on all sides, but, strange to say, two men at opposite ends of a rope may pass it under the stone without encountering any obstacle whatever. Corea also has a “hot stone,” which from remote ages, has lain glowing with heat on the top of a high bill.