Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 48, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 December 1891 — Page 6

®l)( Hcmocrftticgftttinel RENSSELAER, INDIANA. J. W. McEWEN, Puixisher

SHIPPING A BIG SHOW.

CERTAINLY OLD NOAH’S JOB WAS NO PICNIC. BUBonlties of Embarking Animals Today that Did Not Exist Before the Deluge—Scenes Among the Animals on the Steamship Monowal. A Latter-Day Noah’s Ark. An old circus man says that Noah's Job was certainly no picnic, an! that if the eminent j atriarch had spent one year in the < ireus business ho would never have taken tho contract of running the ark at all, but would have Jnst laid down in his barn and waited for the deluge to come and diown him A big menagerie and circus with all the attending paraphernalia recently ■hipped from San Francisco to Australia. They sailed on a trip more protracted and perilous than that ever

'TWEEN-DECKS PASSENGERS.

dreamed of by Noah Elephants, tigers, hippopotami, lions, horses, downs, riders and all—the whole outfit crowded together in one ship of the tea; tents, monkeys, ehar.ots and every oilier item of the show adrift i n the broad Pacific Ocean. Never was such a job of embarkation experienced at tho Oceanic dock, says the San Francisco Examiner; never again do tho ’longshoremen Of this port hope to ship a cargo of wild animals to Australia Imagine a b g, wide, yawning, covered dock, with iis millions of cubic feet, •imply aching to be overcrowded. Imagine the flooring of that dock simply packed with a traveling show and you will have some faint idea of what the Oceanic dock looked like. In the good old days when Noah went Into the ship-building business tho job of filling an ark with a complete, if heterogeneous, collection of mammalia of both sexes seems to have been a task of consummate easiness. Anyhow Genesis says nothing about its dilticu ty. and if any hitch occurred —any strike among the ’longshoremen, or any of that sort of bnsiness —Genesis would have recorded It As it was the animals went aboard two by two, or lour by tour as the case happened to be, etc When the job of loading began all was easy as a marriage bell. There were a number of obstreperous brutes, to bo Enre, and a certain number of ail too willing ones. The jaguars, for instance, howled mournfudy when they found that they were to bo hoisted aboard the steamer, the monkeys simply shrieked with delight They exemplified two extremes—the one demonstrated grief, the Other joy—and neither cared for either. There was only one happy medium and that was the hay, and that hay came aboard in tons and carloads, ton; upon lons of grass and oate i hay, and tons npon tons of wheat a :d crushed barley.

THE HIPPOPOTAMUS GETS "THAT TIRE FEELING."

One cou’d see the groat ship sink in the j water as wagon-load after wagon-load of the bal<4 forage was swung aboard on the creaking derrick; aud then still lower in the water she ,-ank as they hoisted on the'seats, t'.e tent poles, the hurdles, thfe'StayS. and tho canvas. For in the hoggin ng the men did nothing but lead on the mechanical contrivances of the show: and the embarkation of the horses and wild animals was delayed until the last moment. Koah had no tents or things to load on the ark, and thereby saved a great deal of trouble; but th-re are men in the circus who contend that, tents or no tents, if Koah had to hate shipped one African elephant, the,ark would not' have teen started unjo;*j»js Very day. On Tuesday the work began. Early in the morning they piled the dock with seemingly usfeiess piles of lumber, and still more ( teelfess wagon-trees and wheels Latbr on in the day they began to cart in stain and hay by the carload, and still ?»#»’ great big wagons eamo with hulking-sides of beef — great dripping carcasses' to stow tn the big re-frigerators—meat-flesh for the carnivora to feed upon during theiryisaprisonment aboard ship Mfftile traversing the broad Pacific Ocean 4 Many of th“ animals will die before they reach Australia. The wild beasts Of the Indian and African jungles can but little brook raptivity, and the close confinement bf a traveling cage aboard an ocean finer will knock the spir t and the life out of many at them. Nevertheless, the experiment of transportation was tried years ago, and proved a big success, and what matters a Jaguar or a tiger or a jion more or less, If the main percentage of the show once safely reaches Australia . ■'» m f_ They have tj’ooer ways, those incarcerated denizens of foreign wildernesses. They live a while and struggle,, then they get paralysis and die -- > 4., *. First they fight and starve, then they svlk.Hd feed, then thgr giwl and grow aick, then toey get paralyzed. -Thfty run •p aud down and do aWJdown and twi-t to tteir circumscribed cagea One day

| the keeper notices that one of them Is | ! lazy, ho st.rs him up; the animal is j lame Next day he is more lame, and, | oh! so lazy. Next day he is lazier still, 1

QUEEN AND DUTCH HELP TO INCARCERATE THEIR COMBADE.

and won't even jump to his food. In a , couple of days the truth comes out Ho crawls to the door on his forelegs, tho hindquarters dragging an inert weight i behind. Tho forest ranger has sucI cumb: d to the paralysis of captivity. He ; is marked to-die. If ho cost a lot they | try to nurse him back to hea tli. If ho did not—why, pish! Heave him o er- ! board at once and have more room for ! the liv.ng. Its not nice to bo an exhibit in an | American circus en route for Austra la. When Noah was running the animal j business the animals were d cilo ajid tractable, and no especial anangementt had to be entered into for tl eir shipment. Nowadays, however, tho averago star beast is out for human lives and ho cannot be driven abroad ship with impunity. There ore it was that elaborate precautions had to be taken in loading. I To begin with, each den was hauled i up the dock pretty much tho same as tho dens are hauled along the main j streets on the day that a circus comes to ; town Hut the cages lacked vivacity, so ] to speak; they lacked the golden glamour of a swell triumphal entry, and tho gold and the tinsel were missing No gilt-edged quo >n of the Irppodrome bestrode tho haughty hippopotamus, nor did some bespangled son of the torrid Indies surmount tho elephant's nock. The gilt-edged queen was absent, tho bespangled son of llindostan wore overai s and a jumper at SI. 50 per suit. He did not look half so pretty as he did in tinsel, and therefore not half so useful: but he got thero just the same—yanked i the pachyderms In the neck with the

business that looks like a boathook, hit him on the trunk, swore like a drunken trooper and, generally speaking, discharged his lawful duties and obligations like a gentleman and a scholar. Whi n lions and tigers and similar brutes are looked up in cage wagous they are as easy to handle as lumber. The wagon is rol od up to tho odge of tho wharf, tho circus hands and longshoremen sling ropes under ts body and hitch it on to tho hook that swings from the big derrick attached to the mainmast 'll hen tho stovi d re blows a whistle, and the man at the donkey engine opens tho throttle valve and that cage wagon goes floating tip in the air with all the sweet simp icity of a can-vas-back duck. \\ hen it gets about si t inches above the wharf the s ariug ceases for a moment. The circus hands removo the wheels from the wagon, and pile them in a heap on one side. Then tho stevedore whistles again, tho tackle creaks, the big cage creops upward, tho beasts inside it grunt tliolr disapproval —they are too scared to oar—and then, witli a sweep through the circumambient atmosphere, they are launched on the deck of tho steamer. They did not crowd the big dens down into the dark hold: they stowol them along the deck. All the after deck is crowded with cages of animals. There was no trouble in embarking tho wilder animals and the horses—sleek and lovely animals —were docile and tractable when pla-ed in tho open box prepared for them, and hoisted one by one from tho wharf-side and lowered into the hold. There they were placed in little sta ls. the same as ordinary stables It was in shipping the elephants, though, that the fun for the populace and the trouble for tho circus men arose. . The elephant stands pre eminently the most sagacious among the entire brute creation; lie may, also, when ho gets his “mad” up, be classified among the most contrary. Your average Asiatic elephant, however, the tellow with the curly ears, seldom or never gets mad.

DICK INSPECTING HIS NEW QUARTERS.

His African cousin, the chap with the great flapping ears that look as if they could listen to a thousand orchestras at one time and hunger to listen to more, is never happy unless be Is kicking against a grievance. Max was the name of tho star African elephant In this shipment.

Max had watched his old pal Dick, tho hippopotamus being shipped, and he pitied Dick, and trumpeted out his sympathy, when Dick got that tired feeling

and yawned like a rusty thunderbolt. Thou they tried to per-uado .Va c to go and join the amphibious beast, but Max know better.

America was good enough for Max; ho did not want any antipodes in his They got Dutch, the big Asiatic ele-

TRUMPETING A FOND FAREWELL.

pliant, to march up to the land end of the dock with him, and Dutch coaxed him like a brother. Out on tho street way a big derrick had beon hung, and pendent therefrom was a big square box, all bound with thick bars of iron The object entertained by tho show people was to coix Max into that box and hoist him on shipboard. The object

entertained by Max was to thwart and hinder thc>ir plans to the best of his capacities and understanding. They coaxed on the monster with honeyed words and pickaxis; then they jabbed him on the north end with marlin spikes and boathooks, but all Max did was to pick up a wisp of hay with his trunk, fan himself therewith lor a moment, and then chuck it upon his shoulder to keep the flies off. They explained the matter to Dutch and Dutch entered into the scheme to delude his African brother, and with true Asiatic duplicity entered the box himsolf, twirled around, .snorted in b.iss and made believe that that box was a small terrestrial paradise. Max watched his demonstration with unmoved dignity, and when Dutch came out and begged him (Max) to sample the delights of the box, tho African just winked, but did nothing. Then the men tried pickaxes and things again, but it was ail no use. Max seemed to enjoy a clip from a pickax in in the rear: anyhow he waltzed around in uncontrolled happiness, but would not go near the box. A crowd gathered, but Max did not mind. Cue grows accustomed to crowds in the show busiuesa The men got tired; so did Dutch, and eventually they asked the Asiatic to hustle his pal into the pen. Then the tun began. Dutch tried to get behind Max and shove him bodily with his tusks; Max dodged Dutch like a schoolboy. Never was seen such an instance of animal sagacity. The big Asian trying to force the African without hurting him, the Alrican doing his best to avoid the Asian in a determined but good-natured way. All this- time Queen, the largest elephant in the lot, was standing down on the farther end of the dock eating peanuts. When the superintendent got tired of Max’s antics he roared down to her: “Come up here, Queen!” Queen waved her trunk and wagged her tail, then solemnly stalked up the dock. “Hurry up. there!” and as he spoke the b!g beast broke into a jog-trot, and

ASCENDING TO THE DECK.

AN UNWILLING EMIGRANT.

her big, loose skin flapped on her sides like wet clothes on a living skeleton. -Shove in Max! Help Dutch!” In a second Queen had her tmks against Mat’s flanks, in ha'f a minute she had him pinned up against tho inside of the box and was holding him there while Dutch hustled around to close the big door. When Dutch had jammed to the door and was holding ft safe Queen withdrew, hit Dutch a smack with her trunk on the shoulder and stalked down to her t eanuts once more. Max is shut out ftom America. Five minutes more little Topsy, tho African lady elephant, is locked under the hatches. otill a few more minutes and Dig Dutch joins her. Last of ail Queen comes and stalks into the box. The tackle stra ns and creaks, the big pen rises upward, a great gray trunk lifts itself above the sides add trumpets an an revoir. Then down it disappears through the fore hatch, and the crowd on tho deck watches it sinking and sinking into the darkness of the lower hold. A whist'e Tho creaking stops. Another whistle and an idle hook swings upon the end of tho tacklo. The labors of the modern Noah are ended. The animals are all aboard tho ark.

BATTLE OF BIRDS.

How Two Wren* Fought Two Bluo Birds ami Whipped Tliom. In Silver Lake Township, Pennsylvania, a two-story stone milk-house lias been standing for more than fifty years. When the masons built it they knocked the mouth from an old earthen jug, and cemented the jug into the solid wall toward the peak, leaving the open end on the outside of the wall. The kind-hearted workmen put the jug there for a purpose, and every summer since then wrens have built their nests in it. This season a pair of blue-birds got there a few hours before the wrens did, took possession of the jug without any ceremony, and began to carry bits of straw and dried grass into it, flying out and in again every fifteen or twenty minutes. Toward noon a pair of wrens flitted into the yard, and flew around the milk-house two or three times. Then they made a dive for the opening in the old jug, darted into it, anti soon flew out squalling spitefully. The reason why they did this was because they found one of the blue birds in there, very busy fixing things up Inside. The surprised blue bird followed the wrens, and then a feathered warfare began that lasted for two hours. Finding a stranger in a home that had been occupied by wrens for half a century made the little wrens mad all over. They pitched into the blue bird and tried to drive it away, piping and screeching as they fought. For a time the blue bird battled with the wrens; but the two were more than a match for it, and it retired to a tree. While it was perched there the wrens flew into the jug, and started to drag out the straw and stuff the blue birds had carried in.

The wrens were busy cleaning out the jug when the blue bird on the tree was joined by its mate. All at once they flew in a straight line for the jug. They darted into it like a flash, and in a second the wrens came out as though they had been fired. They had not been cowed by the larger birds, however, for they immediately turned, darted into the jug, and drove the blue birds out. Then the four birds had it back and forth among the trees for half an hour, neither party entering the jug while the battle lasted.

Finally they stopped fighting, and each side began to carry things into the jug. The wrens made two trips while the blue birds made one, and late in the afternoon the wrens had tilled the jug so full of twigs that the blue birds could not get in. There was room for the wrens to go in and out, and they held the fort against their bigger foes, who made several attempts to tear the barrier of twig* away but without success. Toward sundown the birds Hew away and never came back: and the wrens have had possession of the jug ever since.— G-jldthwaite’s Geographical Magazine.

Rules of Health.

“Sit down,” said the fat business man in a hurry, “and order lunch, but let me go ahead on my own account. I’m slow; afraid of increasing dyspepsia if I eat too fast, you know. Disgusting, this guz—ah!” Gulp and gulp, and the soup was gone. “This guzzling! isn’t it? Eat slow, with conversation; a pleasant frame of mind helps digest Waiter, where’s the fish? You’re waiting on me; not lon you. Ah, at last.” Three great bites and the fish was gone. “Where’s the lamb? These fellows, look at ’em, eating pie by the square yard; ought to see themselves as others see ’em. Time’s not so valuable as health and—there’s'the lamb.” Three seconds finished it, and two more for as many glasses of claret. “£each pie. waiter. And this hurrying is mostly habit. They’ve been doing business fast and come to lunch with the momentum and devour. I take a light lunch and eat si ” Bite, chew, swallow, gulp, and the pie was gone. “Bill and ice-cream. My plan saved me from dyspepsia till I was 30, then I succumbed to bad cooking. There’s not a good cook in New York. These that make nice food make it indigestible, and those that make it healthy cook it plainly—no a la Bechamel, no truffles, a flat desert to the tastebetter dyspepsia, say I ” Bite, bite, champ. “My, but the ice-cream is cold. I’ve got toothache. ” Champ, chaw, gulp, gurgle, gurgle of coffee. “What, j-ou’re not through! Well, now, I must hurry; can’t spare time in business hours except for health. So long. ” Time—4 min. 15 sec.—New York Sun.

A Water Gun.

Near Horn Head, County Donegal, Ireland, there is a hole in the rocks called McSwiney’s gun. It is on the sea coast, and is said to have connection with a cavern. When the north wind blows and the sea is at halfflood the wind and the waves enter the cavern and send up jets of water from the “gun” to a height of more than 100 feet. The jets of water are accompanied by explosions which may be heard for miles.

Statistics prove that only one man in six who emigrate does so with advantage

IT IS A BITTER FIGHT.

BOTH SIDES DETERMINED IN THE COAL FIELDS. Tlie Strike May Terminate Within a Week and It May Last Far Into the Spring— The Men Say Nothing Short of Starvation Will Induce a Surrender. The Situation Is Serious. From the outlook it is impossible to say what will come of the strike in the the. Brazil, Ind., coal Helds. It may terminate within a week, and it may last all winter and far into the spring. Neither the operators nor the miners have made a move toward settlement. Both are determined and silent. The miners say nothing short of starvation will drive them into the mines, and there is little prospect of such an emergency in the near future. On the oth< r hand the operators, w.th one or two exceptions, have signed an agreement to allow their p ants to stand idle until the spring rather than make the increase demanded by the men. A rathor sensational rumor has been circulated in Terre Haute and Brazil for some days, and if it should turn out to be true' \vi,l undoubtedly prevent an immediate settlement. It s that the Big Four road is using secret influences to prolong the strike. There is one feature in the striko which looks favorab.e to the men. It is the jealousy which exists between the sort coal operators and the block c al operators. They are for the present pulling together, but a separation may occur at any time. In this event tho men may oe victorious J. H. A cCleiland, general manager for tho Brazil Block Coal company, denied that such a jealousy existed, but some of tho soft coal men say it does Tlie miners deprecate lawlessness, and pulet prevails everywhere. Nothing like agitation ex'sts. Tho men are at homo with their families, waiting with a dogged persistence foe the operators 'o give in. Things a 1 out tlie mines looked gloomy to a recent visitor, but in most of tlie cottages there was an appearance of thrift, and tho squalor and dirt one expects to find in mining hamlets was want ng. Nothing of the anarchistic order was found. The one or two acts of violence w licli have occurred wero denounced. Tho miners loalizo that to win they must maintain tho respect of the public. In tho strike of two years ago,” said one, “we held out seven months, and not one of us was arrested fur lawlessness. We have not changed, but away back in the ’7os an attempt was made bv the opperators to run In a lot of foreigners and then there was a riot. The outsiders had to go Under simi ar circumstances vio'once might occur.” The operators all say no attempt will be made to import labor. They are willing to test the endurance of the miners.

STORM ON THE WEST COAST.

Widespread Damage to Orange Groves and Other Property in California. Southern California has been visited by the worst storm known in years, which caused the loss, of hundreds of thousands of dollars to the orange groves of Los Angeles and San Bernardino All telegraph wires were down and even yet all damage has not been reported. From what is known, however, one-lialf the orange crop of Pasadena and the San (laoriel Valley is destroyed. Riverside, which usual y suffers from heavy winds and which is thoiefore protect d by big hedges, did not feel the full force of the storm, but tho orange crop was badly damaged. The center of the storm was at I asadena. There the Congregational and German Churches were totally wrecked. Th*o tin roof on Williams’ Hall was lifted and deposited in front of the San Gabriel Valley Bank. The roof on the Arcade Building went up at the same time. The Raymond Hotel suffere 1 ser oils loss. The roof of the west gable was carried oil when the gale was highest. Fortunately no one was injur, d by the aecid nt The destruction to orange orchards Is reported as heavy in exposed places. It is said in some sections that two-thirds of the fruit is blown from tho trees.

In the Verdugo (anon and Glcndalo section the storm was tho wildest ever known. Mrs Brown, living in a small house on the Vcrdugo road, met with a horrible death. Her house was a small stiucturo set up high from the pround. A terrific gust wrenched it from the foundations and it collapsed. Mrs. Brown was caught in the timber. From that posit'on she could not e\t icato herself, and lire ensuing she was burned to death. Tho storm was terrifi ■ in the San Fernando A alley. The old mission at San Fernando was shaken upas it never was bef< ro. Great chunks of adobe wa is weighing a ton were lurried about. At Burbank the Presbyterian Church was wrecked. The Holiness Church at Monrovia was wrenched from its foundations and the steeple of the Baptist Church was badly wrecked. Some of it was carried away. The old mission church at San Gabriel was one of the strongest and l est pre served mission buildings in tlie Stato. The walls were badly damaged and the belfry was demolished.

THOUSANDS OF CASES OF GRIP

St. LouiH Suffering from a Return of the Kpldemtc. Dr Priest, chief dispensary physician, estimates the nuraler of cases of la Krippe in >t- Louis at '.>(), 000. Three hundred employes of one wholesale tobacco house have been compelled to quit work, and the disease has affected choir singers. While the mortality list does not indicate a large number of deaths from la grippe directly, a great percentage of them have been largely dub to complications of influenza and chronic affections There wore thirtynlno more deaths during the last week than di ring the one p evious, ( r a total of 232, an increase of seventy over the same period last year. Of the 232 deaths seventeen were from bronchit s, sixtyfive from pneumonia, four from diphtheria and six from other respiratory diseases. Thirty-four < eaths were of persons under 1 year, flftytwo under 5 years, and sixty-four over 60 years. The increase in the deatt rate is principally among the latter, and an examination of the burial certificates shows that nearly all died from bronchitis or other respiratory dis ases. Many local physicians upon being interviewed say that the disease is contagious or infectious. Nearly ail are agreed that in form it is not as violent as it was last season; that the exposure of the person does not necessarily invito an attack, but that the malady seizes upon those whose systems are in poor condition.

Here and There.

There are 74,000 Germans in London. An English peer cannot resign his peerage. Crime is very rare among women in in Scotland. Oxey one Englishman in twenty-seven pays income tax. Thebe are thirteen regiments of heavy cavalby in the British army. Throughout the entire world about 36,000,000 people die every year. A man in Missouri has twenty-seven pet rattlesnakes which come when he calls them. ASout 8.500 women are employed in the British Postoffice, or one to every eight men employed.

SAVAGE SOLOMON ISLANDERS.

They Are the Moat Degraded Race on Earth. The better part of the Solomon Islands belong to the German Government, but that does not prevent the English from inflicting summary punishment on the natives whenever guilty of outrages on anyone claiming to be a British subject, says a writer. On such occasions they are handled with as much freedom and severity as if the Germans had never been heard of in the vicinity. At the present time the English war ship Royalist is visiting the different islands from which crimes have been reported and chastising the guilty ones whosoever or wherever they may be, even to the extent of destroying their villages whenever they have had any difficulty in locating the right parties. I suppose the Germans do not care much whether these subjects of theirs are exterminated or not, as they are not likely to bring credit to either their masters or themselves. Missionary work has been a total failure in the Solomon Islands, although persisted in for many years and by different religious bodies. In most cases the only result arrived at by the missionary is to supply a banquet for his congregation, forming himself the principal dish of the occasion. As a people the Solomon Islanders are perhaps the most savage, the most brutal and the most degraded race on this earth to-day. They practice nothing but the most barbarous of customs, and are of so fierce and rapacious disposition that it is not safe to approach within 100 miles of any of the islands inhabited by them. They are cannibals of the worst kind; visitors to tbe islands In quest of sandalwood and tortoise shells, the chief products, have seen in different houses various parts of the human body in process of preservation for future consumption, just as civilized nations would cure animal meats, and the owners of vessels have frequently human flesh offered them in exchange for something desired by the natives. Head-hunting is another' of their accomplishments. It is practiced under all sorts of pretexts, in some cases the chiefs offering rewards for the best results of an expedition. Professional head-hunters are not uncommon, and they usually take the honors.

"JIM KNEW.”

But His «* Knowledge ” Darkened HiS Mother’s Life. She lived in a log cabin in the Tennessee mountains. She was gray, old, poor, religious—■ religion was her sole comfort. She read her Bible and prayed continually. Her son Jim was out West. She exhibited the beggarly remittances which he sent her with trembling bands and sparkling, pride-full eyes. Jhn came home to stay. Her cup of joy was full. On the afternoon of his arrival she was reading her Bible and whispering prayers of thankfulness. Jim approached her and spread his rough hands over the page she was reading. She regarded him with surprise. He told her that he had heard great men talk out West, and had learned that the Bible was not true—was not the inspired Word of God. Her face was as yellow as unbleached flax; a wisp of faded hair fell down her cheek. She put up her toilhardened hands to stop him, but he talked on eloquently. She said not a word when he had finished and left the cabin, but she rose, and going to her bed in the corner of the room,.she knelt and tried in vain to pray. She stood in the cabin door in struggle; there was no sign of blood in her face. Jim was right, she supposed; she had never known him to be wrong. People had always said he had a keen mind. The next Sunday she did not go to meeting; she stayed at home, and tried to comprehend what Jim had to say about the mistakes of the Bible. She trembled and felt cold in her breast as the singing from the meeting-house stole over the hill and through the trees. She fell ill. The shadow of death came into her face. Neighbors wiped their eyes at her door and gathered at her bedside. The preacher came, “Are you ready to go, sister?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she gasped, and cast an appealing glance at her son, who stood at the foot of the bed. “I’ve heerd ’at the Bible ain’t true. I use ter b’lieve ’at when my time come I’d go off easy, but now it’s just awful—awful!” She tried to put out her hand toward Jim, essayed to speak, but death froze her unasked question on her face.

The Way of It.

When most pretty girls reach 19, they become engaged to some poor young man, and, as he hasn’t the money to marry on, they wait until he has saved it. The waiting process is a long and tiresome one. While the young man is having a good time, spending 90 cents and saving 10 cents for his marriage, the girl is growing a little older, a little plainer, a little more careworn, and wasting her youth in waiting for a man who in most cases finds some one more attractive, and breaks the engagement. If girls will look around at the great number of girls who have “waited” for some poor man to their sorrow, they will probably hesitate before entering into an engagement that promises to be long and fruitless, and that leaves them worn out, and with no faith in human nature at the end. Very often a girl who is waiting for a young man to become rich, throws away the real opportunity of her life; very often she is a slave to the caprice of a man who finally deserts her. Very often under such circumstance* a woman gets a wrong idea of life, and accuses the world of faults it is not guilty of. In a way men take very good care of themselves, for the reason that they accept the lessons of life, hard though they sometimes are, but women make the mistake of trusting too much, and suffering needlessly for it.—Atchison Glohe. Of the once powerful tribe of Tonkowa Indians only seventy-eight members remain. They occupy the reservation that was once the home of the Nez Perces, embracing 90,000 acres.

HUMOR OF THE WEEK.

STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Many Odd, Carious, and Langhabl* Phases of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Word Artist* at Our Own Day. Warranted Safe. Mr. Goodman—l want to buy a nice toy pistol for my little hoy. Something handsome but not dangerous, you know. Mr. Binks—Hare's the exact thing you’re after, sir. A French duelling pistol—very pretty, and perfectly harmless.—Grip. The Figure Fiend. Mrs. Colemigger—l’m surprised that your husband earns so little if he works as hard as you say. What does he do? Mrs. Pentweazel—The last thing he did was to figure out how many times a clock ticked in the course of a year.—Epoch. He’d Made a Discovery. Thinkhardt—lsn’t it curious? His Wife—What? Thinkhardt—That although a watch is misplaced or even lost, it is still handy.—Jewelers’ Weekly. A Splrit-ed Discussion. “What was the subject of your debate this evening?” “Whisky. ” “Was it well discussed?” “Yes; most of the members were full of the subject.”—Kate Field’s Washington.

“Drop a worm in the slot, and hear me sing. ’’—Life. •i* > ■ !; It Was Late. I had asked the colored porter at the depot if the train from Savannah was on time, and he replied in the affirmative, writes M. Quad in the New York World, when another colored man came up and inquired: « ‘lDid yo’ want to know sunthin’, sah?” “I was asking him if the train was on time.” “And what did he say, sah?” “He said it was. ” “Hu! Dat’s all he knows ’bout it! Dat pusson, sah, ar’ employed to sweep out de depat an’ All up de water-cans. ” “And you?” “While I, sah, ar’ employed to put de checks on de baggage an’ put de baggage on de kyars! Yo’ wanted to know if de train was on time, sah. No sah, it haiu’t, sah. De train is exactly two seconds late, sah!”

Dangerous Revelations. Belle—Don’t you think a gentleman should always wear a dress suit when he makes a call on a young lady? Nell (doubtfully)—Well, I don’t know. If he wears _ a full dress suit his shirt bosom when he gets home gives him dead away.—Somerviile Journal. Doubly Defined. Tommy—What is a “running account?” Pa says it’s an account merchants have to keep of customers that are in the habit of running away from paying their bills. Uncle—That’s one definition of it. Tommy—ls there another? Uncle—Yes. A running account Is, in some instances, an account that gets tired out running after a while, and then it becomes a standing obligation.—Boston Courier. Useful il Not Ornamental. Stayer—l—l hope I’m not keeping you from anything, Miss Pert? Miss Pert —Oh, dear, no! I like to have you sit there, where you are. “M—may I presume to ” “Why, certainly! Yes, you hide that spot on the wall paper, that has been an eyesore to me, beautifully.—Boston News. A Cat Colloquy. Mouser—See, here, Maltic, you are playing a little too rough! You yanked out a good bit of my coat that time. Maltie—Excuse me; I only intended it for a joke. Mouser—Yes, hut it was rather fur-fetched.—Yonkers Gazette. Making It Realistic. Qnester —I wonder where Shakspeare got the idea reflected in the sentence, “When graveyards yawn?” Based altogether on superstition, I imagine? Jester—Perhaps, although I can believe such a thing possible to be brought about. “How? ” “By having Dominie Prolicks visit any of them and preach a funeral sermon. ” —Boston Courier.

Ill-Omened Jane.

Jane, as home by the royal families of Europe, has always been a name of ill-omen. Lady Jane Gray was beheaded for treason; Jane Seymour was one of the victims of King Hal; Jane Beaufort, wife of James I. of Scotland, was savagely murdered; Jeanne de Yalois, wife of Louis XII., was repudiated for her want of pertonal beauty; Jeanne d’Albret, mother of Henry IV., was poisoned by Catharine de Medici; Jane of Castile Host her reason through the" neglect of her husband,' Philip the Handsome, Archduke of Austria; Jane I. of Naples caused her husband to he murdered and married bis assassin, and Jane IL of Naples was one of the most wanton of women.-— American Notes and Queries.