Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 December 1891 — Page 4 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

I' The more caffs yotr give a laundryman the better he likes it. ■ None of the rainmakers of modern times have equaled Elijah’s record yet \ Man’s wishes are not all wants. He does not need half as much as he prays for. It seems cruel to sue a campaign liar for libel. It looks like discouraging enterprise. Every shot from a big gun consumes SI,OOO. At this rate, war has become a very expensive luxury. Tim Hopkins is said to be a famous cultivator of violets, but he hasn’t cultivated their modest and retiring ways. When a man’s hopeful comes home and tells us of an increase in his salary he can almost feel the glow of the son’s raise. If the rain-makers can do what their friends claim for them, why ■don’t they come to the relief of the shrunken old Mississippi River? First blood has been drawn in the Hopkins-Searles will contest. It doesn’t count for either contestant, but it is distinctly in favor of the lawyers. The proposed formation of a rice trust in this country looks like a miserable effort to get even with the Chinese for their persecutions of the American missionaries.

It is no longer considered out of style for a woman to have a family of children. Babies carried on the arms in the streets, and paraded in carriages, are considered better form than poodle dogs. The Chinese empire, from recent reports, appears to be honeycombed with plots against the existing government. In this condition of affairs the kingdom must be anything but flowery for the reigning dynasty. A Philadelphia man sat down on a tack in a street car and he now sues the company for $2,000 damages. Many men would be glad to sit down on a tack seven days in every week for much less than this and many unfortunates have been known to do it for nothing. Walt Whitman is slowly dying of paralysis at his home in Camden, N. J. Like many another man who has anticipated letters and lived and written a half a century ahead of his time, the “good gray poet” will never be appreciated until his courageous heart is stilled forever.

An enthusiast from Ceylon wants to bring some white elephants to the "World's Fair, and has submitted a proposition to the directors. If the directors are open to outside advice, ■we would respectfully state that the question, “Shall the fair be open Sundays?” is white elephant enough for one exposition. After serving eighteen years at San Quentin (Cal.) penitentiary for highway robbery, Shorty Hays was recently released, and is now at his old tricks again. The next time Mr. Hays is taken into durance vile it would be policy to hold him up, just once, and see what kind of a hornpipe he can execute in mid-air. Under the leadership of the Duchess of Portland nearly 1,000 Englishwomen have banded themselves together to discourage the wearing of the plumage of song birds for decorations. It might puzzle them to explain why song birds alone are to be saved from the millinery hunter. Their humanity only extends to the birds from which they draw pleasure. Somebody has been telegraphing from Rome that the ancient city is to be lighted with electricity by wtilizing the falls of Treverone, and calls this copying the ancients. Out in Nebraska the pretty city of Beatrice was so lighted a decade ago, the power being derived from the “Little Blue.” But the citizens didn’t think they were imitating people who never knew lightning could be harnessed.

Do you know how to retain your youth forever? It is very simple. All you have to do is to convert your fleshly molecules into psychic animates. It is not possible at this writing to give a recipe for this. But Thomas Lake Harris, who is now on the Pacific coast, can tell you all about it. He is the gentleman who conver,ted Lawrence Oliphant’s genius into madness with his occult theories. An English girl was recently attacked and thrown out of the window of a railroad carriage by a maniac who was put in the same compartment with her. The American railway car with its sixty or more occupants is highly repugnant to John Ball’s sense of propriety, but the dose carriage, which exposes women to insult and unprotected males to blackmail, exactly suits the squeamlah Britisher. Atchison should not judge the entlre world. Here is the Globe of that city remarking that “there are two kinds of women in the world—one kind alts and cries silent ly about her AMd, and the other storms and nws about her rights.” In other flMee and States there is another 4*Mi of Wtxnea. of neither kliri men-