Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 45, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 November 1891 — OUR BUDGET OF FUN. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR BUDGET OF FUN.

HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS HERE AND THERE. Jokes and Joke’ets that Ara Sopposed to Have Been Recently Born- Sayings and Doings that Are Odd. Curious and Laughable, Perils of New Fashions. Little Son—Pa, you’d better not disturb ma. Pa—Why not. “She’s in an awful temper." “What about?” “I don’t know. ” “Where is your ma?” “Up stairs in the room.” “How does she act?” “Oh, awful. She’s ravin’ ’round, turning over chairs, and moving furniture, and banging things about awful, and she keeps saying, ‘Beshrew it,’ ‘Consarn it,’ and ‘Electrocute it’ in the awfullest maddest voice I ever heard, only it ain’t loud.” “Poor dear! She must have lost her collar button again. "—Street & Smith’s Good News. Time for Repentance. Wife—John, dear, I wish particularly that you would come with me to church this morning. Husband—Why this solicitude regarding my spiritual welfare? Wife (gently)—Because i overheard you putting up the hall stove last Bulletin. Joeglng His Memory. Miss De Peyster—l have been trying to find out where your daughter got her new gown. Have you any idea? Col. Bilderwiclt (grimly)—l ought to know. The womaii she bought it from .has been afoimd to my office every day for a month. —Cloqk Review. Forced to It. Melton—l see that Manger has broken off his engagement. Dobbs—What was the difficulty? Melton—He found out that he couldn’t get married without getting a new dress suit.—Clothier and Furnisher. Must'Be In the Swim. Mrs. Billsdoo—l notice rococo is very fashionable at the present time. Mrs. Bullion—Do tell! I must have Signor Spagheti (that’s my chef, you know) serve some up.—Jeweler’s Circular. Couldn’t Stand It. “What has become of Robinson?* “He has gone out to Salt Lake City to live. He spent two months of last summer at a summer resort; and when he came back home it was too tame for him.”—Puck. Reciprocity.

Cohen (tragically)—“Aha! und so I has been nursing a snake in mine bosom.” Lowenstein—“How vos dot?” Cohen —“Here I has paid your carfare at leasd four dimes, und now yon refuse to lend me a flfe-tollar bill.”— Judge. A Liberal Education. Civil Service Examiner—You have passed a splendid examination, Mr. Complex; might I ask how you prepared yourself? Mr. Complex—l make it a point to look up and answer the questions asked me by my ten-year-old boy.— Truth. A Broadening Profession. “So, you’re an actor?” said the man in the counting room to a seedy applicant for pecuniary assistance. “Yes, sir; I’m an actor.” “Nice business. I’d like to be an actor myself,” continued the man, with Interest. “Yes; most people think that way until they try it.” “Besides the excitement of applause, the traveling you must do broadens the mind so.” “I don’t object to that," said the actor softly. “What Ido object to is the way it broadens the feet.” And he looked down at his poor, weary, Worn shoes and sighed deeply.—Detroit Free Press. Encouraging. Jack—l’m afraid your father doesn’t like me very well, Marie. Marie—Oh, but Jack, he doesn’t dislike you, lam sure. He said at dinner, only yesterday that there wasn’t enough to you to Inspire any special feeling, either of approval or dislike.”—Somerville Journal.