Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 October 1891 — Page 8 Advertisements Column 2 [ADVERTISEMENT]

look ire,Sire Mote;. We have reduced the price of Mill be ow competition. Get tbe price from any feed store or dealer in the county and we will beat it. We have no middle man to pay, but sell direct to tbe consumer. Bran 70 cents; bran and shorts 80 cents. Chop—corn rye ana oats $1,30 per cwt. Remember, we will sell you bran for less than you can buy at any other place in the county. SAYLEIi & HOPKINg. Renseel er Mills. Call in at Ellis A Murray’s and look a* heir Underwear stock.

The Next Tiling ill Order. Miss Summit—Have you heard the dreadful news about Miss Ringster? Yesterday she jumped out of a three story window and Rilled herself. Miss Palisade—Oh, isn’t it awfull What did she have on?—Cloak Review. A Landmark. Miss Notinette (at the seaside) —I don’t know whether you know me or not, but I was here last year. Miss High plane (extending her finger tips)—Oh, yes, I recognized you at once by your gown.—Cloak Review. The Syntax Perfect. I love to hear Clarissa talk. It always make me glad; Though entre nous. 1 must confess. Her grammar’s very bad. But there’s one way she speaks to me, That none can criticise; She never makes the least mistake. When talking with her eyes. A Reasonable View. Lady to Tramp—This is the third time you have called here today. Tramp—lt is true, madam, but I am sure you wouldn’t want a man to get along with any less than three meals a day.—Ex change. A Wonder of Modern Science. She—So she reached Paris yesterdayl How wonderful it is that the news can be sent so safely over the ocean cable through BO many miles of salt water! He —Yes, and bo so fresh I —Life. Well, We Should Smile. Sitting on the sandy shore. Where the wavelets beat, With a lovely summer girl. Pink and white and sweet. Isn't It galorious? Don’t you wish that you H... 1 a bag of money, and Nothing else to do? —Detroit Free Press. How It Happened. Horrified Mother—l should like to know how you happened to let young Simpkins kiss you? Daughter— l — l thought no one was look ing.—New York Weekly. LIGHT AND AIRY. Von Can’t Do It. When in quest of watermelon*. Many and many a time I’ve seen. Though 1 thumped and though I pondereS, Half i purchases were green. And wl . I would test their ripeness. Said t’ i grocer: “Bis is biz. You can t plug that watermelon— You must buy it as it Isl” Thus in life I’ve found it ever— All may fairest seem without. But when once the dual’s accomplished You are left beyond a doubt. And when you would seek beforehand Pointers, lest it be a Lzz, You can't plug that watormoion— You must buy it as it is. —New York Herald.

Plenty of Time. “Now, gentlemen,” said the eloquent ad vocate, “I leave the case in your hands. In closing I have just one remark to make.” And the experienced juror in the dark corner of the box settled himself for an other comfortable half hour nap.—Chicago Tribune. Innocence. Shopman—Will you allow us to send this for you, madam? Lady—No, thank you; I’m driving. Lady’s Little Girl (In ecstasy)—Oh, mum myl are we going back in the yellow ’bus? —London Judy. Now and Then. Soon dal my little Cholly With his cigarette aud cane. Will stroll on the piazza. And lie won’t do so In vain. But later in the season. How the maiden’s eyes will flash As she sits before his counter. And he yells out "Cashl” —Cloak Review. Running No Risks. Clara (at the seashore) —Come, hurry up and put on your bathing dress. Maude—l don’t think I will go in bath ing today. It looks so much like rain.— Cloak Review The Penal Way of It. “Mother, may I a-yachting go?" "My daughter, you may not; But I’U buy you a yachting suit or so If you won’t go near a yacht.” —New York Herald. Terrible Revenge. Cholly—Dudely insulted me, but I got even with him. Chappie—How? Choily— I stwuck hint and disawanged his tie.—Life. The First Break. “What do you think of my angel cake?” she asked. “It’s too heavy to fly,” he replied. This was the beginning of the end.—Harper’s Bazar. Not Much. Tell me not in mournful numbers Life is but an empty dream, Wben ’tis full of green cucumbers And of restaurant ice cream. —Detroit Free Press.

A Candid Confession. Johann (the valet, to his master) —Well, sir, now that I am leaving this place 1 may as well tell you that the key of the eoal hole fits the door of the wine cellar.— Figaro. What the Jndge Said. First Vag—How did you plead? Second Vag—Not guilty, of course. First Vag—And what did the judge say? Second Vag—Ninety days.—Detroit Free Press. Promised His Mother He Wouldn’t. “I never use tobacco. Nol I’ve never touched it yet!” And then he took a match and lit HU nasty cigarette. —Chicago Tribune. So She Would. Why doesn’t some man ask Ida Lewis to marry him? She would make an economical wife, as she has been for years engaged in lighthouse keeping.—Detroit Free Press. Same Thing. Caller—Has your mistress gone out? New Servant-No, but she ain’t at home. —Eposfc. Was* fjjr*. Black were the eyee-oa Mack as Jst- • p ”usu* maid 1 knew; 1 kissed her sad hdk kn ar And min. sr,** black tew ' Tmk Urn**.