Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 39, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 October 1891 — Page 4 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

j tr war in Europe does cwtne Unci Sam will go right along raising pigs and selling corn and wheat. 41 The statesman whom the office seeks must be a pretty large pattern of a man. They’re rarer than hot snow. Uncle Bull is swinging his torch dangerously near the European powder magazine. A spark might set off tremendous fireworks. M Notwithstanding the organization of the fruit-jar trust, there Is agrowing opinion among housekeepers that few of the fruit-jars are trustworthy.

The number of persons who are bent on reforming somebody is equaled only by the number of persons who are not bent on reforming themselves.

They say King Humbert is an accomplished cook, and the recent boiling of some Persians who didn't pay their taxes shows that the Shall is something of a chef himself. Russia finds it hard to borrow moneft, is short of food, much of its population is very hungry, and .vet it is getting ready for war with well-fed peoples whose credit is excellent. Uncle Sam is out on a C. O. D.. picnic this year. If the nations of the world want anything that is good all they have to do is to ask for it. I Your uncle has it on hand and to spare.

If you want to find out whether or not your son has been robbing peach trees, set a dish of peaches before him. If he ignores the fruit, he is guilty. If he eats heartily, he Is either Innocent or a hog.

Rudini has made up his mind that China must be disciplined, if he has to do it himself. He might send Oorte over first, though, to scare the guileless Chinamen with the story of his prowess at New Orleans.

The French law makes a husband responsible for the support of his wife’s parents. For information concerning the enforcement of the law inquire of the parents of any Yankee girl who has lately become a French countess.

An old maxim advises us to deliberate with caution and act with celerity, Ordinarily that is good enough advice, but when a bee gets between you and your trousers it Isn’t a bad Idea to deliberate with celerity and act with caution.

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, where, it is generally believed, he pulled out a plum, with certain expressions of satisfaction as to his own magnitude. Whereas some other people are pulled out of a “corner” by an assignee. “When some men pay their preacher they feel as though they were paying a gas bill, ’’.remarks the Ram’s Horn. Well, with all due respect to the many brilliant clergymen who occupy American pulpits, • possibly some of these men are right regarding the others. v: i ' The Prince of Wales says he would like to see Chicago. In’his blissful Ignorance of the magnitude of the cities we build in this country his royal highness is probably unaware that to see Chicago, and to see it all in princely style, would require the remainder of his natural life.

About 150 women have taken timber claims within the last few months In the State of Washington. It has long been the wail of the press of that region that the woods were full of lonely young bachelors pining for wives, and we trust there is nothing wrong in putting these two announcements into juxtaposition. Unless there has been musical progression in heaven, the music of earth 1* far superior to that of the world above. Let all pious people hope tliafc the music of heaven has kept pace with that of the earth, and that they will hear something more musical than a ram’s horn when they awake on the resurrection morn. Xva Mann’s alleged theatrical company has disbanded in Shamokin because of lack of support. Let us hope that the disgraceful woman may not be heard of any more, and her nbtoijpus deeds be forgotten as speedily as possible, or be remembered only as warnings to all who may be inclined to follow in her footsteps. William Penn, it may not be too late to observe, was not a steel pen, •ince he did not steal the land from the Indians; he might have been a gold pen, because he gave them gold for their lands; and he might have been a quill pen, because he has been for many generations a feather in the eap of Pennsylvania. And so forth. It now appears that England did not actually seize the Island of Mytilene, but simply made a demonstration to show what she could do if she chose. The European situation Just now resembles a friendly bout with the gloTes. It’s a sham fight at present, but soon one or the other of the •jmrrers will get too hard a tap and the gloves will come off. Women have scored another suc-