Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 October 1891 — Page 4 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

'The modern stage robber is the" manager of a farce-comedy company. Philadelphians never suffer from •hay fever simply because the Philadelphia nose never runs. Lord Li is the name of the Chinese representative in Tokio. If there is anything in a name that Chinaman is a born diplomat. The simple Briton who asked Mr. R. S. McCormick if Chicago was on the seaboard should early secure a through ticket to the World’s Fair. The people of the Sandwich Islands want to discard their Queen. They should elect a President and complete the straight flush of republics in this hemisphere. It is stated that the paintings exhibited this season in London at the Royal Academy -“are hardly up to mediocrity.” The painter’s art in England must be at a low tide. A negro minstrel troupe is about to sail for Africa. The familiar sound of the good old jokes may induce the sphinx to break its long silence in the joy of old acquaintance. If you give a man five dollars in •cents, you must not suppose that the remarks he makes are incense, by any means, though they may indicate that he is incensed. And so forth. Funny language, the English. A live wolf that was being conreyed to New York’s Central Park menagerie escaped in the Bowery. He was compelled to buy two suits of Clothes and three hats before he •could manage to regain his cage. Italy owes $8,000,000,000 and has a steadily decreasing revenue and a ■perpetually increasing deficit. Yet it jis unnecessary to waste sympathy on on Italy, for that country is obviously in a position to let the other fellow .walk the floor. “Liar, thief and drunken scoundrel” is' the kind of language that .floated around in the Georgia Legislaturo the other day. Either Southern chivalry is completely dead to the world, or some Georgian is going to get hurt pretty soon.

I Uncle Sam is not ol'd, but the statistics show that his taxable wealth “foots up $02,500,000, 000, and that is '■only but a fraction of his real wealth.jNo wonder the eyes of the world are on . .“old glory” as it floats over “the land the free and the home of the brave. ” | People are very charitable in forgiving a man for the things he does when he is insane, but will exercise no charity at all toward the man who is very angry, though anger and insanity are so much alike that it is not always possible to draw the line between them. i Cjesar crossed the Rubicon, Napoleon crossed the Alps, Washington crossed’the Delaware, and now Balanaceda crossed the Andes. But the last-named gentleman did it as a 'matter of necessity, and therefore with less dignity than his three mili.tary ancestors. ) Horses are a great deal like some people. The meaner you treat them, the better they will go for you. If you have a horse of your own and treat it well, it will poke along, but If you hire a livery horse that is •whipped and abused, it will pass -every one on the road. If you want to cure a case of suntram, hold hot-water cloths to your face for about twenty minutes, keeping them as hot as you can stand it. You can go into such a treatment with a face looking like a.lobster’s back, and come out with the pretty pink and white tints you read about. One fair poulterer in New Hampshire found a cent in an egg laid by •one of her hens the other day, and has been extensively advertising the fact. The business, peculiar to New -England, of manufacturing. wooden nutmegs will soon be utterly annihilated unless Yankee ingenuity gives -out. The practice of blowing out the >gas in hotels is going out of fashion. “The guest now turnes the gas out and rthen turns it on, or breaks the ibracket so that gas will escape in tgreater volume. The first practice was accidental death, the present one is suicide; but in both cases the .result is equally effectual. A London, England, paper knowingly informs its readers that “Oihca#o is destined to become one of the greatest grain-growing States of the ajnion.” Not so bad, after all, when rit is remembered that Chicago seems *bent on annexing all of Northern Illinois in order to keep ahead of Philadelphia and to overtake New York in population. Thk President is not used to namiing babies. He gave only one name—