Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 September 1891 — Page 4 Advertisements Column 2 [ADVERTISEMENT]

sidering the very light estimation id which the United States is held by French diplomats it would be but! fair play to reciprocate by making Fred Douglass United States Minister to Paris. An esteemed contemporary remarks that “the woman who lights the Are with coal oil is still abroad in the land.” Begging the esteemed contempo’s pardon, she is not still abroad in the land. The woman who is just going to light the fire with coal oil may be, but the woman who just has done so—she may be still, and she may be abroad, and she may be in the land, some six feet or so in it, but she is not still abroad in the land, not by a jugful. The discovery of the new route across the continent of South America, by which it is possible that the journey from Lima to the eastern river ports may be reduced from thirty to four .or five days, will tend to postpone the building of the proposed “back-bone” railroad. The advantages of the newly discovered short cut added to the present advantage of the water route would make a trip by the proposed railroad route a time-wasting journey.

A New York man has invented a sort of collapsable hat to be worn by women going to the theater. On the street it is an intricate maze of bows and lace, but in the house, by the pulling of a string, it becomes an unobtrusive and modest little affair. The inventor will win the gratitude of posterity if he succeeds in getting the idea adopted by the fair sex, but, being an old seafaring man, he should recall the old adage of his craft about turning a woman and a ship. Children should be taught early that water drowns and that Are burns. The dangerous combustible oils that explode and cause death and the treacherous under-currents which drown the expert swimmer, should convey lessons of caution to the living that would never be unlearned. There are people, however, who are foolishly trustful in the accomplishment taught at a natatorium |is the mother who, when asked if sl;e was not afraid to let her daughter'Cross the ocean, said: “La, no; she cay swim.” A New York! woman has just distinguished herself by scalding a man who declined to become her son-in-law. Here is a new danger. It is bad enough for a man to be roasted by the mother of his wife, but when by avoiding that danger he simply jumps from the roasting pan into the scalding vat, there Is no safety left for the poor male sex. If every man were to be tortured by the would-be mothers-in-law he Jias disappointed some would have a bard path to travel to the grave.

Loafers are as regular in their habits as business men. You can always find them at their favorite places, and generally in the same chairs. They are usually great readers, and are promptly on hand to read the morning paper. Having performed this duty, they will discuss politics until noon, when they get a beefsteak and go home. They are down town later in the day, but only for a short time, unless they are poker players. If they are poker players, their afternoons are devoted to work.

Now that the dirty journalist and disreputable newspaper man, Elliott, of Columbus, is at last behind the bars of the penitentiary, where the equally infamous Bebout harbored for a year, it is to be hoped that those who consider slander as legitimate will be somewhat chary of indulging in personal abuse. It is a strong object lesson which some may wisely take to heart, and profit thereby. A newspaper is not properly the vehicle for the gratification of personal malice, nor for the extortion of bloodmoney nor black-mail.

The most unique souvenir spoon is the one which has the weird design of an arched-back cat and an old woman astride a broom. It is not a new feature of the spoon collection, having been manufactured some years ago, and it does not take with American people. It has not become a craze yet to claim descent from witches, but foreigners buy these souvenirs with avidity. They certainly represent a remarkable epoch in American history. The prehensile ancestor and the witch of Salem made a picturesque lineage, to say the least.

It was assumed that when the Great Eastern was condemned as a structure too large for profitable use upon the water, the limit of size for ocean steamers would be reached far below the dimensions of the experiment of a third of a century ago. That was 692 feet in length on deck, and was a failure for the uses it was built for. It was made of service in laying of some of the ocean cables, and within the past year or two was broken up for junk. But the tendency now is to enormous size with the increase in speed. The Cunard line is building a steamer to be 600 feet in length, which is expected to break the present record. It is eighteen feet longer than the Teutonic, the latest record-breaker, and 100 feet longer than the champion of 1882. The limit does not appear