Democratic Sentinel, Volume 15, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 September 1891 — Page 4 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

That terrible fall which dislocated the Kaiser’s knee-cap did not even Jar the toggle-joint of his tongue. Man, imperial man, is indeed wonderfully made. A New Jersey woman who marled a cowboy now has to pay him S 3 11 week alimony. Here’s one Instance i fcf retribution—the woolly West for < jnce gets even with Jersey. A paragraph is now going the rounds that “the Chinese do not permit their women to be potographed. ” It will take something higher than the Chinese wall to keep the kodak nut of the empire. And now Chicago boasts a leprosy case. When New York discovered that it had a leper a few days ago it it was not to be expected that the announcement of a similar find in •Chicago would be long delayed. If you hear a man mispronounce a word, the polite thing to do, if you have occasion to repeat it, is to mispronounce it as he did. Anything -else would be in the nature of a correction, and few people like that. When you go on a visit, always announce how long you intend to . -stay. Your hostess is curious to know, and by telling her, you will give her a chance to plan your pleasures to fit the time you will spend with her.

In all the cities the theatrical managers complain of the press of stagestruck females—girls, and wives who have abandoned their husbands to take part In comic opera. They would find in the long run more happiness and profit in the kitchen. More suicides are committed in the hottest month of the year than in the ■eleven months put together. If you are feeling at all despondent about anything, compel yourself to be more cheerful. Your relatives do not want to put on heavy crape in hot weather. * The people who are always expecting to die usually live the longest. If a man wants to live a long life let him moan and groan at the slightest pain, and talk of death as though it nudged him every moment on the elbow. He is the man who lives to be the oldest inhabitant.

The piano has become such a nui■sance in Boston that practicing is regulated by law. Children are only allowed to practice one hour a day, and that in the morning. Other cities are talking of adopting the same regulation. There is no doubt that the piano is tiecoming a very prominent nuisance. ' Too many of the good times are lor the young. There is no reason why a man should stop having a good time because he has passed 50. The *old people should get together, enter their protest, make arrangements for themselves, and leave the young folks at home to watch the house for a change. i A marble statue has been found on the island of Milo of a Grecian boxer, and is said to be a splendid work of art, in a good state of preservation. It is slightly larger than the average pugilist of these times, and does not show gloves. Perhaps they did not have Marquis of Queensberry rules In the old times. 'The world do move.” A prominent Texas paper, the Austin Statesman, in a leading editorial declares that “the pistol must go.” That is the voice of civilization. Not one time in twenty does the pistol hit or kill the right party. The practice of carrying one in the pocket is cowardly and the result is usually disastrous.

Why do people say that a thing is like a dream to express their opinion that it is beautiful? There is nothing very pretty about most dreams. They are usually a repetition of everything wretched and unhappy that has happened during the day. To every pleasant dream you have, you have twenty that make you feel sore all .next day.

As a source of wheat for export, ■Canada has been credited with a surplus of 20,000,000 bushels. It is now jannounced that the Dominion can ■spare at least 33,000,000 bushels. ‘This is an increase of 18,000,000 over Hast year in surplus, and indicates the irapid advance of the Red River country into the grain-growing competition of the world. The Shah of Persia knows his business. Furthermore the Shah is, to >use a sporting expression, very hot t«tufi to deal with. News has just .London that Abdullah Kahn, igovernor of one of the Shah’s has been boiled alive by •order of the monarch because he embezzled taxes. Embezzlers do sometimes get into hot water after all. Fkance politely announces the transfer of Minister Roustan from "Washington to Madrid as a “promotion,'’ and sends to Washington in Shis stead an obscure diplomat who Sms been vegetating in Tangier. Con-